WHEN THE SPINE REMEMBERS — A 2AM Reflection on Latihan and the Unseen Currents Within

                            My Grandmother was born in Deli, Sumatra, and so was my Mother.

 WHEN THE SPINE REMEMBERS

— A 2AM Reflection on Latihan and the Unseen Currents Within

It was about 2:15am when I woke up, stirred from a sleep not quite restful. The mind, as if already on the move, came alive with images and voices: news reels from YouTube channels, stories of death and destruction, Trump and Bibi, Hollywood movies, and faces from the day before. One after another, like an unstoppable conveyor belt. A barrage.

I sat quietly in the dim room and did what I have trained myself to do over the years — I brought my mind to silence. Not by force, but by remembering:
"I am not my mind, nor my body."

I repeated this gently to myself, a mantra that has become a sort of life raft in stormy waters. Slowly, like a tide receding, the noise began to fade. The body, too, responded — falling into a rhythm of breath, not commanded, but remembered. A kind of soft alignment began, as if the body knew what to do once the mind had stepped aside.

Then came the familiar vibration — beginning from the base of the skull, the neck stiffening, and the energy rising. The entire spine began to stir with an almost electric life. If I allowed it, my whole body would shake, sometimes violently, uncontrollably. But I was not afraid. This, too, was familiar.

It reminded me of a time long ago, in Terengganu, when I was a martial arts student of Silat Seni Gayung, one of the leading martial arts traditions in Malaysia, which has its roots in Indonesia. During one of our early initiations, my instructor informed me about a spiritual practice called Subud, describing it as a source of the spontaneous shaking and trance states that sometimes accompany our inner training.

At the time, I didn't think much of it — it was just part of the deeper mysteries of silat. But now, decades later, I understand that what I felt in my spine, in the trembling of my limbs, was a subtle force already familiar to those who walked the inner path long before me.

Only recently did I come to learn that what I had experienced was closely related to a spiritual movement known as Subud.

                                              I sat on top of Borobodur to sketch.

What is Subud?

Subud, an abbreviation of the Sanskrit words Susila Budhi Dharma, is a spiritual practice that originated in Indonesia in the 1920s through a man named Muhammad Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo, known affectionately as Bapak. The central practice of Subud is something called Latihan Kejiwaan, or simply latihan — meaning “spiritual training.”

Unlike meditation or ritual, latihan is completely unstructured. Practitioners gather in a quiet space, separate by gender, and simply surrender, allowing the inner self to move, speak, cry, shake, or become still as guided by the divine intelligence within. There is no chanting, no teacher giving instructions, no dogma. It is entirely personal, entirely direct.

The experience often includes spontaneous physical movements, trembling, vocal expressions, and moments of deep emotion, just as I have experienced in my solitary dawn awakenings. And now, knowing its name and origin, I feel a deeper reverence for what I once thought was just a side effect of deep meditation or breathwork. It was latihan. The spirit was moving through the body.

                                             Indonesia -The land of Mysticism and the Divine.

A Sacred Remembering

So now, in the early hours when the spine begins to shake and the breath grows deep, I no longer wonder if something is wrong. I no longer analyze it or try to contain it. I know — the body remembers the sacred. The spirit knows the way. And the mind, when quiet, does not need to lead.

I share this not as an expert of Subud, nor as a formal practitioner, but as a witness to something profound that moves through us when we are open, still, and unafraid.

The shaking is not a disturbance.
It is a remembrance.

A reminder that my Grandmother was born in Deli, Sumatra, and so was my Mother. A Land of mysticism and Devinity.

Note: Silat Seni Gayung traces its origins to Indonesia and incorporates spiritual elements, including breathwork, trance states, and inner energy cultivation. A recent film has even been produced about its founder, Maha Guru Meor Abdul Rahman, highlighting the tradition’s rich legacy.

---

#SubuhReflections #Latihan #Subud #SpiritualAwakening #2AMInsights #TerengganuTrance #SusilaBudhiDharma #Kundalini #StillnessSpeaks #BodyRemembers #SpontaneousPrayer #SpineAwakening