What Else Is There to Say?
2 February 2006
It’s my day off—
Whoop-de-dooo.
I woke up as late as I could, trying to avoid the blistering heat, and the drag of having to find something to eat. Dreading the moment my son returns from school, knowing I have nothing—nothing—to offer him in terms of pocket money.
I'm living on borrowed breath. Broke to the bone. Can’t even see the light at the end of this dark tunnel.
What a bloody way to live.
It’s a sin to be poor.
Oh well, it’s a sin to be broke.
But poverty? That's a relative thing. You can be flat broke and still be rich—in spirit, in experience, in grit. But let’s be honest: not having enough to make ends meet sucks.
I’ve had to stoop to asking—begging—my son and a few close friends to send me a hundred bucks just to scrape by. Yes, it’s low. Yes, it’s shameful. But it had to be done.
When I meet my Maker—and if I’m granted that audience—I can at least say I asked. I begged. I laid down my pride, so He can’t blame me for clinging to it.
Of course, in the Islamic tradition, this is walking a fine line. Some would call it shirk—associating others with God—by asking for help from anyone but Allah. The faithful are told to surrender fully, to trust in God alone. And yes, I know this. I believe it. But it’s not easy. It's not easy to be patient when the bills pile up. Not easy to stop your mind from spiraling into anxiety over how you’re going to survive the next week.
But still—
Life goes on.
The Buddha would say: “It’s all Maya. Illusions.”
The trick? To pick the lotus without wetting your fingers.
My solo exhibition is just a few months away. Still so much to do. I want to give the world the best I’ve got. Let this be the last chapter of the Bahari Saga. Creativity at its finest. Not just art—but the art of living fully as an artist.
Not a craftsman. Not a technician.
But a true bonafide artist, in the spirit of Paul Gauguin.
To explore life and culture. To experiment. To challenge everything it throws at me. To raise a fist at authority when necessary. To bow humbly like a beggar when needed. To beg, borrow, or steal with no shame when survival calls for it. To love and be loved. To be cheated and cheat. To win and to lose. To be humiliated, and to rise again. To accept victory with grace. To live with gratefulness.
To run a Hazardous Waste Facility and still recite the Discourses of Sheikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani or ponder Ibn Arabi.
To have lived in Sand Point, Alaska.
Sendai, Japan.
River Road, Penang.
To have been married to two American women. To have a child living in the Swiss Alps.
To be a Ferry Ticket Seller in Penang, a Halibut Fisherman in the Bering Sea, a Meat Cutter in Green Bay, a Mad Monk at the San Francisco Zen Center, and a Yard Dog at H&H Ship Services on the San Francisco waterfront.
Wherever life took me—
I gave it my all.
I lived with intention.
I delivered high performance.
Not as a student of Fine Arts.
But as an Artist of Life Itself.
I paint my life. I give it color. I rip it apart.
I am the Maestro.
🔹 English Hashtags
#LifeAsArt #ArtistManifesto #StruggleAndSurvival #MayaIllusion #LivingBroke #FaithAndDoubt #TrueBeliever #ArtistOfLife #BahariSaga #ConfessionsOfAnArtist #SoloExhibitionPrep #SufiPhilosophy #ZenInHardTimes #PaulGauguinSpirit #RawAndReal #CreativeSoul #NoShameOnlyTruth #LivingFully #GypsyHeart #ArtistInTheFire
No comments:
Post a Comment