Monday, April 29, 2019

The South China Sea- here I come.

Yesterday morning at sunrise I  was floating on my back swayed by the waves on the East Coast where I stayed atmy twin brother's house by the sea in Marang, Terengganu. I drove with my daughter  leaving Penang at ten on Thursday night,we rented a car online and I was very impressed at how easy it all seems and all depending upon mutual trust and respect for the users. My daughter insisted that  we wahed and vacuumed the car when we left it back at the parking lot; I was impressed that my daughter has learned much about life in this dayb and age, she is a survivor. She took care of all the strategics and logistics and my copilot It was fun driving a relatively new car that drives smoothly and most important well lit;  i enjoyed my Kancil having driven that little car ten times back and forth across the mountain ranges of the Titiwangsa,  the spine of the Malay Peninsular,that diivides the East from the West Coasts; I miss my Kancil. I kept telling myself its alright to enjoy the  small compensation to make up for the age,at least from the Safety perspective. So the latest Viva gets my rating as a safe and comfortable car to drive long or shrt distances, there I did a commercial! My way of saying thanks from both my daughter and ; it was like driving an upgraded Kancil.

It took eight hours to reach  Kuala Terengganu, from Georgetown, Penang at a decent speed, I drive decent. Driving through the East West Highway from the town of Grik, in theState of Perak located just at the edge of where the the East West begins heading towards the East Coast States of Kelantan and Terengganu along with the State of Pahang has some of the most beautiful sandy beaches there is, facing the South China Sea. The Malay folks are charming and
take pride in their cultural heritage in Arts and Craftsmanship. They make good food in their own style and are famous for their own fish products of Keropok. I hope I can see a little bit more before time cuts short my mental and  physical will to drive for eight hours through the night  across the thick forest of the Titiwangsa Range. I am grateful to Allah for the safe journey, Alhambullilah! I enjoyed well still do enjoy driving especially driving a car you are most comfortable with, your own. I would sing or zikr or i would entertain nasty thoughts, my mind kept me entertained as i drive, then every now and then I would take a deep breath and let it out and do a litlle meditatio on the road; I am the car and the car is a part of who I am, we become one just like good horse rider becomes one with his mount. Meditate on the road and at nothing in particular but just forms and emptiness zipping by you, you just follow the lines and stay between the lines no matter what cause its darkness all around you otherwise. Mindfulness Driving I call it. We all do this all those who enjoy long drives through the dark.

When you drive eight hours straight through the night you are sitting in meditation, doing Zazen or sitting meditation focused on your breath and watching the mind body works in-sync,  watching the breath rise and fall, trying your damnedest not to fall asleep on the wheels. One of the ways of being in spiritual solitary,like seeking a cave or a quiet hut is to drive alone in the night and watch  your mind for two or three hours at a time while asking yourself the ultimate question; why do I keep doing this to myself? and the answer would always returns to, this is who I am,  at the moment, enjoying one of my practices in life, being comfortably alone yet exhilarating in my mind and body as it involves danger and risk to the car and me. I do not invite death but I know death is not too far away from me and I have lived a life worth taking; surrender my self to the universe and the unseen and my faith in my what I am capable of; I cannot say I am not afraid but if death lurks around the next bend, I will have to embrace it willingly, this is the risk I take upon myself, body, mind and spirit.

I you are looking for laid back place where the beaches stretches as far as your eyes can see and the sea is still green, visit the East Coast States of Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang,  lots of sunshine and good food no doubt and a spiritually uplifting experience you will have whether you like it or not when you wake up to the call to prayer from the mosques around you to start your day as the sun rises from across the horizon of the South China Sea, revealing in  blazing colors,  the Isand of Kapas ,you meditate on it. As the gentle warm sea breeze blows through you, you surrender to that state of peace in mind body and spirit...and this too will pass!






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Monday, April 22, 2019

If not Now-When?- Dedicated to those who died in the Sri Lankan Bombings

How does one keep on perusing a course of action in life that would ultimately become synchronized with the core of your being who you are. You belief system, your faith,your habitual tendencies and so on. How does one become fully assimilated into one's practice in life after having lived for seven decades and experiencing as much as the mind could gather of knowledge and wisdom or trials and errors of right and wrong such that it becomes a part and parcel of one's so called identity or personality. This is who I am I say, but who am I who keeps evolving into something that i never thought I could be when there is a change in the course of all these triggered by some unforeseen event or occurrence shifting my consciousness into some new paradigm, some new direction or course of action? All I can say is to keep on going with the flow, adapting and accepting what is and moving on to the next event as they arises. Nothing is fixed in concrete or carved in stones as life is ever evolving, metamorphosing, however it is still up to me to adapt with wisdom and intelligence, to take each and every changing steps with caution and determination.

Where is these leading me up to? Why the need to become so immersed into this self seeking, self, realization, this years of 'soul searching towards realizing the truth of what it is all about? It is because this is all that is of vital interest and importance for me; to make sense out of all the nonsense and embrace the right understanding of the meaning of my existence on this plane. I am endowed with this sense faculties that demands to be ultimately used to the best of my ability as a thinking entity; "I think, therefore I am." to quote Descarte, I believe he was partly right. However what happens when I stop thinking, which most spiritual practitioners ancient and modern yogi has been trying to achieve myself included. Perhaps many have succeeded in this quest during their lifetime, some for a moment in time while others throughout their lives or so them claim. The silencing of the mind is the cessation of thought formations, the pausing of the flow of life that enables for change to happen for better or worse. Just like when we shift the gear from one to another speed, there is a brief moment of neutrality, so does the mind when making a change of subject, there is pause in between.

In this state neutrality there is the possibility of  catching a glimpse of what is, an insight into reality that is clear and lucid even if it is strictly personal in nature and brief in moment. This is my understanding, of what i have been striving to attain on my road towards my own salvation; if it benefits me in some small way it will help benefit others in the course of their lives, those who cross my path in one form or another. Many strive to attain the "Creative spirit" or creative mind, seeking to find the originality and the genuine, but few has taken the mantle to do so without giving up. I do not intend to give up my quest, futile and idiotic as it may seem, I intend to untangle  the tangle and enlighten my spirit before the end of my days. If I cannot attain enlightenment and libraton in this lifetime, I would deem my life as it is a total waste of space and time. I deserve to be thrown into the avichi hell.

In Buddhism, Avīci (Sanskrit and Pali for "without waves" – Chinese and Japanese: 無間地獄, Wújiàn dìyù and 阿鼻地獄, Ābí dìyù) or Avichi is the lowest level of the Naraka or "hell" realm, with the most suffering, into which the dead who have committed grave misdeeds may be reborn. Wikipedia.

The Buddha is said to have said that it is in this human form that one stand the best chances of attaining liberation, so  no time to waste. The human race is entering into its darkest moments and there is rise in evil forces initiating chaos through brutality and murder. It is in need of answers more so than ever towards the understanding of the human factor. Yesterday, they bombed several religious buildings and hotels in Sri Lanka claiming over 160 lives and many wounded and we ares till reeling from the Christchurch New Zealand carnage. Evil is on the rise no matter who claims responsibility for the incident. The human mind is becoming infested with hate and ignorance if not greed that underlies all these incidents. It is more imperative for all those who are on the road towards awakening that we strive even harder to find the healing process for this illnesses.   
  











       

Friday, April 19, 2019

Time to untangle the tangle.

It's Friday, soon I will hear the call to prayer from the Masjid Negeri or the State Mosque.I have made my pray to my Lord in my own way earlier before i sat to meditate and contemplate, then ,now writing a post on my Blog not knowing what to expect to come out from my subconscious and wakeful mind. Listening to the sound of flute from an American Indian, sounds like one is sitting somewhere in the Organ Pipe mountains in Southern most part of the Mainland  United States, on the boarder between the US and Mexico where the Organ Pipe Mountain rage ends in the Sonora  Desert of Southern Arizona: I was there and did that.  The sound of the wind that blows through the the organ like spires of vertical pillars of rocks stacked one upon another, sounded like the sound of this flute in my ears.I have an affinity whatever that means with the Spirit of the American Indians,like blood brothers just as i feel I have the connection with the Japanese Artists in history and today.

Life is about making a story, playing a role, reaching in and reaching out to find the truth to what is or not what it should be, is this 'Reality itself?' Is this the of Ultimate and complete, Consciousness  the realm of non-duality, the One with the Maker. Not so long as there is stil the witness, the observer- the mind. Mind has to cease to exist in any state or form from the state of consciousness of a soul. I use the word soul loosely to mean no further than that which, I am in the present state of  learning and understanding, who am I?What precious little time I have left, I hereby am sharing with you my reader whoever or wherever you are, that you may touch my heart with your consciousness to help me on my journey to the end. 

The Lord Krishna's flute was once asked by one of the Gopis, "What makes you so special, that the Lord touches you with his lips?" The flute replied, "Nothing special, I am but just a hollow reed through which I allow my Lord to blow his breath into the sound of eternal music." I am but an empty vessel into which I allow knowledge to pour into and be boiled to produce wisdom; I am only a Buddha's begging bowl seeking Right Understanding,Right Mindfulness and Right Consciousness of Being, who I am. In this present moment in space and time, writing this post, listening to an American Indian flute music... is this all there is to who I am? It is Friday and it is doubtful that i will go to the Friday Prayer and I have stopped going for qite a while now and yest it disqualifies me to be called a Muslim,  I acept this. As i mentioned earlier, I did my prayers in my own way earlier this morning and later in the morning. I have strong faith that my Lord is listening to me and; all I can say I just have this feeling deep inside of me that I am forgiven. I am more of a spiritual than a religious person, I am an Eclectic, I pick and choose the best of all choices between what i would consider worthy or unworthy of being accepted as the truth for me. 








Monday, April 15, 2019

You Are an Eclectic!!!

Eclecticism was a school of philosophy in Ancient Greece, or so I read one cold winter's day in the foothills of the the Rockies in a small potter's house about one kilometer down hill from Central City, Colorado. It was in the seventies and I was doing my college work which was primarily traveling all over the country and the world seeking knowledge I was a Street Artist; my studies was about how one lives the life of an artist on the street throughout one's ;ife. I called it "The Art of Living" (as an Artist). Along the way  I got myself deeply involved with my darker nature and committed many errors or as they say in plain language; I fucked up many times in just as many ways. You name it chances are I did fucked it up too, that is or was my  load to carry; karma sucks.

I woke up in the middle of the night with the ringing in my ears a voice shouting "You are and Eclectic!" It was the end of a dream of which I have not recollecction. What i remebered was sitting up and searching for my sketch pen and wrote on a small piece of paper the word EKLETIK and fell back to sleep,it was a cold winters night in the Rockies. The next morning i went downstairs to have my breakfeast with my host Mr. Angelo DeBenedetto an elderly Italian gentleman of about his seventies; you can Google him. I told Angelo of my dream and showed him the piece or paper i had written the word EKLEKTIK, Angelo  What does it mean? Angelo started explaining to me what it meant and as I was listening to him but not really hearing what he was saying my eyes were captured by the glow of colorful light around the small antique wood statue of Kuan Yin, The Goddess of Mercy, Kanon, Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion. Angelo was quiet and was looking at me strange like and went on to explain how he got the little wooden statuette, as though I had asked him about it.


eclectic
/ɪˈklɛktɪk/
adjective
  1. 1.
    deriving ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources.
    "universities offering an eclectic mix of courses"
    synonyms:wide-ranging, wide, broad, broad-ranging, broad-based, extensive, comprehensive, encyclopedic, general, universal, varied, diverse, diversified, catholic, liberal, cross-disciplinary, interdisciplinary, multidisciplinary, all-embracing, non-exclusive, inclusive, indiscriminate, many-sided, multifaceted, multifarious, heterogeneous, miscellaneous, assorted More
  2. 2.
    Philosophy
    denoting or belonging to a class of ancient philosophers who did not belong to or found any recognized school of thought but selected doctrines from various schools of thought.
noun
1.
a person who derives ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of source
 yes I was called an eclectic yelling at me in my dream loud enough to wake me up and write it down...in Later Angelo took me to meet his friends and fellow artist couple who were potters their house was located along the road in a small town called Black Hawk about a few kilometers downhill from Central City. I was treated as a special guest and offered to borrow a book on the Wisdom of the Ages, The Book of Secrets, a large hardcover book that said in the prologue only 87 copies were printed and i was holding one of them. In it among the colorful original paintings of ancient mysteries and their symbols, printed on rich glossy prints I saw Isis in all her Glory, I saw Krishna in all His Glory and I saw Zeus and Homer, Plato and Apollo, I saw many sects and symbols of man in history. I had the thick and heavy black book with me for a few days while I was staying at Angelo's Studio. I was introduced to Hermetic ism from the book and latter pursued its understanding, the teachings of Thoth- Trimester. My mind feasted upon all the images and symbols through the ages creating episodes and stories abut each, making sense out of nonsense; the Book was God sent.










     

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Lao Tzu.

 Am I going insane or am I just slip sliding into the sea of mediocrity at an old age,merely existing till my time is up, at least in this physical form. Am i fulfilling my aspirations, my wishes and desires after all these seventy years almost; or is it all merely an illusion ? Have I squandered my life to being just another entity among billions of entities eating, sleeping and shitting while I am paraded towards my final  resting ground like a heard of cattle headed for the slaughterhouse. Christopher Hitchens is dead and buried after adamantly maintained that there is no such a thing as God, while in Yemen hundreds of thousands have given up their lives in the name of the God they believe. I have my own Jihad to perform and it is in awakening to the Truth of Religion at least one that I feel most spiritually correct. I expect no miracles but surely would welcome any if it helps me to better understand but in essence I cannot declare if there is or there is no God, but my gut feeling says, there is. Gut feelings are the closest feeling one can have towards any unknown, not easily explainable phenomena in life. 

God or whatever you may address it by name,is like the Tao. "The Tao that can be easily explained is not the Tao." Perhaps it would take a little more than our ten percent capability of using our brain, in order to have a better insight into the Nature of the Divine. We have yet to tap into a drop in the ocean of consciousness of our own self understanding; God is the rest of the ocean. I realize that it would take more than human intelligence to crack the nut, it would take more than, having grat insights or consciousness awakenings,   in order that I might catch a glimpse of reality as it is, but I feel int in me that I am not as free a spirit as I think. I have no right to go claiming if there is there is not a God, the Divine is a very personal feeling one can have but cannot be shared. Sharing means you have to justify your feelings and no amount of justification can explain what one feels about God; it is only felt by me. Most religions I find worship the symbol, the Name, the Container, loosing sight of the content, the essence. We make perfect sense preaching but not in practice. 

For as long as my mind is on this subject let me say that the search for God or the Divinity is innate in our human nature as the sciences is more and more revealing that we are a form with a collective consciousness , we may have individual feelings but our thoughts are a part and parcel of the Whole of our species. Hence according to the teachings of the Buddha, ultimately there is no self or as in Islam one achieves 'Fana'... emptiness? Only when one does not exist is God or Allah truly One, not two. In essence it is my understanding that death is the ending of one's material thought of to be a self, I, me mine, this physical form these thoughts and memories these, visions and dreams. Death is the cleansing of the empty mirror that has been what i have come to accept to be me with all its ramifications of such an acceptance. Cleaning my lenses is my way of self purification or spiritual purification while still in this material or physical realm of existence. I am an entity, walking along this path along with my fellow man, I am a soul among souls, breathing in and out, we walk fully conscious of who or what or where we are at this juncture in our lives.

"A Man who justifies, does not convince, not even to himself!"
Lao Tzu.














Thursday, April 11, 2019

How to title a Painting?

I presented my friend Lee Khai a few pieces of my almost completed art works and he chose two out of six and advice me to stay with this style for my upcoming solo exhibition which will take place a the Gallery Seni Mutiara or better known as Su Khaw's Gallery, located on Armenian Stree or is it Aceh street? Lee has the eyes and sensitivity for the Fine Art and has been a prominent collector in the Georgetown area. He is also the Chairman of the Penang State Art Gallery; Lee knows Art better than artists themselves. It has been my privilege to have met and became very close to this man to call him my brother., his beautiful wife my sister; the one person I could share my feelings with those that runs deeper than normal. Anne has the gift of a Kind and compassionate listener, like Kuan Yin; my Kuan Yin. Then there was also my friend and fellow artist, Saparel Salleh, an excellent jungle landscape artist with a very keen eyes upon colors of the forest and flowing creeks and streams and exotic sunshine cascading through green fond and leaves larger than life; looking at his works you can tell he spends much of his time in the jungle. I have known him for many years now and this was the first time i ever got close to him; I almost put my fist through his jaw at one time in the past. 

Just before Shaparel walked into the house i was letting it off my chest of how i felt about this guy an d why to Anne and my daughter, I felt lighter immediately as I said hello to him and shook his hand. I seems like all that ranting I did was indeed a 'letting it out of my chest'. The rest of the night went through like a charm for everyone and we had a very relaxing conversation about all the mundane subjects that came to mind and we discussed my works. The dinner was something I haven't had in very long time called Oppo in Indonesian cooked by Lee's maid and her husband who prepared a Western Style stew and had a chocolate cake for desert baked by Anne and slices of ripe mangoes and Chiku fruits to wash the mouth with. All in all I can say that the saying, "Ask and Ye shall be given," is true. I had asked for his help and Lee has again answered me most graciously with dignity and class. This is why I call him my brother; Van Gogh had Theo, I have Lee Khai.

I am writing this as a fond memory of my life and times among these  good Christians and Muslims, my relationship towards others and they towards me, how we gain mutual respects and trusts as time passes if and when we try to accept our limitations and work towards reconciliation like true brothers in life and spirit: I am still learning. I have some twenty paintings to be ready for my show and I have only got two accepted! With friends like these who needs enemies? Ha! For a few hours the pain and suffering of humanity around the world seemed non existent...all an  illusion a fleeting cloud that comes and goes. Illusory as it is the hours spent chatting with Lee and wife and Shaparel and my daughter with an occasional join in by the Indonesian husband and wife was a positive state of illusion. It is a learning as well as healing process that I go through, humanity goes through in the evolution towards basic Right Understanding of Who am I? What is reality? How am I connected to The Whole? 

Tat Tvam Asi - I am that!













Monday, April 08, 2019

Take a cat nap-while they fix your plumbing.

Like a cat,one must learn to take a nap, like a bee one must nkow when to stop and smell the roses; resting is an art worth cultivating especially when one is getting into the seventies club. Find a place and lay down to sleep the physical body into total deep relaxation, letting it all sink into the ground or the void to sound more profound.Watch every muscles and sinews relax from the tightness of holding back tensions especially around the lower back and the shoulders and neck area. The death posture it is called in Hatha Yoga-
"Corpse Pose: The Death at the End of Your Practice. While the most widely used name for this pose is Savasana (Sava is the Sanskrit term for corpse and asana the Sanskrit term for posture), it's also known as Mritasana, or death posture " -Wikipedia.
 
This is the rest that animals like cats adapt to in the course of a day especially after a play or chasing for food, they rest, dogs do it, cows do it you name it they do it; resting. Taking time off to realign the physical body through breathing and letting the gravity do the rest. It is like going to sleep but no quite or even more so, bring the body to consciously shut down; in a blissfull state of  a lightness of being. All you are doing off course is simply resting you body and mind, but I find it by prolonging this practice with bar attention I wake up with more energy and vigor to take on the next action or chores. As an artist i find it most helpful being able to refresh, revitalize and recharge my energy but taking a short cap nap.





  

Saturday, April 06, 2019

To Mooji Baba - Namaste andThank You!

Why the need for something to happen,,why do i project an expectation into my future moments, why the wanting to escape this moment where I am at?This my second effort as my first effort was magically wiped out! But it is OK, I have nothing better to do at the moment other than go to bed, I  slept this afternoon. The voice and image of Mooji appeared in my consciousness asking these questions as I sat on the steps of the RECSAM Hall, in Gelugor, this is where one of my best friend's daughter will be getting married tomorrow; I was there just to hang out with the guys, giving some moral support to the father of the bride. 

We smoked a s few joints and drank a little Ketum, to celebrate the occasion among men. I got lost a few times driving home, I found myself not recognizing where I was and  It was quite a challenge to keep myself from pulling off the road to realign myself to where I was but icould not stop and nor could i slow down as I was on main three lane Green Lane Avenue heading towards Scotland Road, I was on track i realized.I watched my loosing its focus on the moment and drifting off ; falling asleep. I had to make an effort to bring my mind to concentrate on the driving. I was not afraid of loosing it, I enjoyed watching it, a part of me was experiencing some new feelings, new  emotions that is more deeper: I can observe my thinking mind! I can step aside  from the busy traffic that the mind is generating from within and without, I am the master of my thoughts and consiousness1! Oh! I forgot to buy the cat food! 

Being awakened can happen in a  split second and will last for a long as keep getting deeper into your practices and it may take more than pure meditation and concentration, at least not the likes of me; I think too much.I am addicted to thinking and my mind is ever ready to accommodate and nothing passes my mind in the day that does not become a subject, a topic a oint to ponder upon at the end of the day.   When you sit and meditate, if you meditate, all these things and happenings and the interaction between the material and corporeal dimensions comes to surface. The mind is kept busy by every single image and event that it has encountered in a single day, every single moment; it becomes a critical observer, analyzing, demanding answers and it turn into an intellectual mind and, scientific mind, it becomes s Spiritual mind, it becomes a Divine Mind; 
No Mind is Divine Mind, 
No Mind is Buddha's Mind, 
No Mind , NO Buddha.

Awakening is moment in time when one stops expecting something to happen next, there is no next! There is only the mere and now, this moment this time and space and all else are fleeting thoughts like clouds appearing and disappearing in and empty sky. Even a flash of lightning can be made to stretch a little longer if one wills it so, try it.So with a moment of awakening, one tries to make it last a little longer each and every time it arises. In the meantime," Eat when you are hungry and sleep when you are sleepy, sit and watch the grass grow!" Do nothing, expect nothing, even the hope to become nothing! If your balls itch, scratch them, don't feel embarrassed about doing  what comes natural and if you need to fart, please don't hold it back! Let it rip and enjoy that release of pressure in the stomach and chest area, nothing is worse than stale air trapped in the belly, it is like having bad or stale Chi floating around looking for the wrong places to get into. That is why after you have settled down to 'Sit' in meditation, the first breath you take is to exhale as forcefully as you can the bad air in you system out, empty the tummy of stale gasses especially when you just woke up after a long sleep. It would help if you take  a few moments to gently massage you belly, make time if you really care for your body put that alarm clock an hour earlier to wake you up. It's the hour you prepare your mind and body to face the day.

There is nothing after this, there is only this!