Sketches done from Dr. OOi's "Little India" B&W Photos.

The "Little India" is a hrd cover photography book put together from the photos of Dr. Ooi, a medical doctor whose hobby was taking picture. Most of the pictures were of Inidans and Indian Muslims who had migrated to Malaysia and settled down on the Island of Penang. Thes migrant workers who mostly were plantation workers  and ordinary labors working on road building and rubber plantations.

The lifestyle of the Indian migrants became a part of the Penang,or more accurately Georgetown Heritage scene  coexisting alongside those of the Malays and the Chinese settlers. They made up part of  the heritage fabric of the Island's mixed mixed ethnic group of people.  

The Chetiars were money lenders, junk yard operators,  were among the most common sight of  the are in Goergetown called Little India -h hence the Title of Dr. Ooi's photography book. It is a historical recollection of the sixties and the seventies of the Island's life.

Dr. Ooi Chen Gee; physician/ photographer.

Growing up Penang every Indian we see we call them Mamak. Mamak Bubur, the Bubur seller, Mamak nasi kandak, mamak roti, mamak apom . Mamak's shop, kedai mamak, mamak's Dr. Ooi was great at captuirng the conmtrast of light and dark.

The cauldron that is in the picture was commonly used for large amount of food like for weddings and other functions . Today they are being replaced by aluminium pots which are lighter and easier to wash.

Makamk bubur is the guy who sells a kind of sweet desert in the form of a broth. Like green peas or oats or barley. This  vendor was very popular around the Penang Road, what used to be know as Simpang enam Round about. which is now the KOMTAR area.

Both are Chetiars. they like to dress in white and carries an umbrella almost like a symbol. Today they some of the most wealthiest men in Penang and their presence acts as a balance in the economic structure between the Chinese and the rest of the community. 

Art Is still Alive in Children.- it almost died in me...

To color with the creative innocence of a child lost in her world in hues and tones, bright and dark, This is how I have tired to approach my Art. Sadly enough I had lost this childhood trait and now have become tight ass when I do art. 

The sight of children sitting in all sorts of position along the corridors of the Penang State Art Gallery attending its 50th Anniversary was worth my trip there.

Although having art competitions is not the best of methods in getting children to be interested in art  it was a necessary tool as it draws students who has the potential from schools around the Georgetown area..Most had their mothers or teachers with them...most of the adults were coaching the childre, can't blame them if the prize is worth the effort.

A Child who got tired of his mom's coaching.

The real artist! The Malaysian Van Gogh!

When I was in my elementary school era I was a child prodigy where art was concern, I believe this simply because in all my primary school years  from standard one to standard six no one walked up the sage on Parent's Day at the end of the year but me.  

 The school used to keep me back after school till eight at night so i can paint a mural  or two on  a piece of long brown wrapping paper about six to seven feet long and by three feet wide. These were for the Parent's day Exhibition on the walls of the school. I remember being asked to draw the statue of captain Francis Light larger than life and all around him things like the penang ferry and tamples and Mosques and such. Everytime i walk up the wooden steps of the Main of the School I would look up and see my work frmaed and hanging on the wall above me.

I was a student at the Francis Light Primary School  located on Perak Road, at the junction of Anson road in Georgetown, There still is the Chinese shrine built under a very large Rain tree which still stand shading the Temple. I used to enjoy the  strong smell of incense bllowing from the temple altars thick smoke which practically covered the whole area around the temple in a shroud of mist early in the mornings when I arrived at the junction  

Where Art was a Blessing, Arithmatic was a torture that I had to endure as i was severely punished for every multiplication table that I did not know and I did not know most. The punishment included the removal of my pants and parading bare naked to the head master's office to be caned.   

 As a child i cannot say that I had a good school life, but on looking back i was  a top scorer in my classes so much so that i was made to go through the express class, I bypassed standard two and jumped to standard three. In the whole school I was among the first and seconds  in the class as general merit went and also the entire school in my Intelligence tests and sometimes in English not to mention Art. I remember so well walking up the school stage every end of the year to receive the prizes that i had won in front of all the students.

 I hardly had any Malays friend and because of my upbringing was  as a Buddhist, I felt ostracised by the Malays. I often felt guilty and left out and hung with the Chinese and Indian kids instead. One of the places we used to hand out was the Penang Buddhist Temple nearby of Anson Road. In my home back then I grew up with an entire family of Muslims, I often went to the mosque on Fridays following my friends and cousins and on Saturdays and Sundays I attended the pali scholl at the Mahindrama Buddhist Temple on Kampar Road in the Air Itam green Lane area. 

 The Mahindrama is one of the oldest Buddhist Temple in Penang if not Malaysia itself. and inside the walls were filled with Buddhist Motifs from Sri Lanka which my Grand Father was commissioned to do. These frescoes of the life of the Buddha from beginning till the end my grandfather was instrumental in creating them. Even thought I was very young and often scared and confused about what is the right and the wrong practice was for me i felt no fear in being in the mosque or the temple. Iwas at home especially in the temple where i was often lost inot my grandfathers paintings all over the ceiling of the main Buddha hall!

I felt the dilemma of my dichotomy in religious practice was most challenging and painful then I was taken back by my parents at the age of 12 from my uncle who had adopted me and the rest of my aunts and uncles and cousins and th whole gang of merry makers who to hung out with while growing up in the Sungai Pinang, Kampung Selut area. I Terengganu while i went through my teenage years at the Sultan Sulaiman Seondary School, I was fully converted to Islam in the most painful way a boy could imagine I along with my tiwn brother were circumsaed and what an ordeal that was, but i oficcially became a Muslim. 

Art was  again my strength while in school and English and i had my twin brother to compete with which I hated most. It was the reason that we never truly get along till today. Everything we did was seen as a competition and in later years even our relationships with the girls was also affected. I had a few great Art teachers the likes of Mr. C.K.Lai, Encik Ibrahim Yusof and Mr. Redza Piyadasa, But my favorite was the Peace Corp couple from Iowa in the United States. A Mr. Michael Jane Kelly and his wife. Mr. Kelly slapped me the first day we met because i imittated his drawl Iowan  accent while he was teaching.

 I got slapped in the face by just about every male teacher in the school by the time I graduated

 from my secondary school (High School). Yea definitely school sucked for me. How do you go to school where your eldest brother was the disciplinary teacher and your twin brother was there before you and you were the intruder in their lives. I survived and  might I add not without trying times
Seeing these children's creative energy at work it took me back my years of being where they were at.
And this too will Pass...

I think I need a new car.

My Kancil has been fixed to the tune of another six hundred odd Ringgit and when I listened to the excuses given as to why and hows i found myself incapable of being angry and instead i sided the mechanic and consoled him telling how to patient and so forth in his work and business, My friends and relatives told me to trade in the old girl and get a new one as it is costing me too much is repairs alone but I have my heart in this little car and all she needed is a face lift. The fact that i did not raise hell over what i felt as an unfair charge and execution of work taking such a long time and so on , bothered me and became the subject that rose immediately to surface when i attempt to sit and meditate. I see it at last as part of the healing process to my mind that would normally would have said f..k you and drove away not paying for the repair service that has now cost me RM1500 in two and half months! But when the guy was driving me on the test drive to convince me that the car is fixed i saw how ragged he looked from over work and felt the tension in him from having to deal with his employees and his customers. A young Malay struggling to hold it all together in this predominantly Chinese society, it is not easy and so i cut him some slack and swallowed my anger and practiced compassion instead. He most probably is bragging about how he had turned a potentially bad situation with an irate customer and made a profit on top of it to his employees, but that is why he is the boss and he will learn.
Meditation is part of thinking, otherwise you would not meditate. When you start meditating, sitting quietly, closing your eyes, it is the activity of thought. Because you want to achieve or feel good in that position doing something. So thought has brought this about through desire  The origin of meditation is the movement of thought.Why do I meditate? When you are agitated, nervous, anxious, crowded with numerable problems, by sitting you hope to find relief, to find some form of freedom from these vexations of everyday life trials and tribulations. As every new episode introduced into your experience  becomes another force to deal with in your mind you are subjected to a whole lot of pressures in one form or another in order that there is no residues of unwanted experience, unfinished or unresolved still lingering after the event is over with. You find yourself sitting with these episodes trying to find answers as t why or how you failed or could have done any different, this is the nature of the mind.

" I would like to see if we could come to the place that is totally beyond the concepts.
'Not difficult' and 'worth every moment'.
The conceptual realm causes so much trouble and the main glue to this conceptual realm is the unqualified 'I" feeling.
If you want to find out anything at all in this realm find out what the 'I'is.
Most spiritual effort is to create the shift of perspective.from the limited realm of personhood into the state of presence.
The state of presence is synonymous with the sense "I Am".
                                                                                             Mooji., "Is everything Predetermined?
                                                                                                            You Tube.

On Dropping off your Excess Baggage.

After having a glimpse of what is the cause of being subject tot negative thoughts while meditating one goes about how to, back to square one of the subject of meditation. As it is meditating is one of the ways to handle thought formations or the lack of it. How to slow down if not eliminate thoughts from the mind ll together if it is possible at all and this is becoming a subject that is being  tried and tested by a growing number of people all over the world and all walks of life. The significance of meditation can never be overrated as it is something that is inherent in all of us and it is only a matter of if we are aware of doing it or not. It is perhaps only through being able be in a meditative state that one can achieve insight and thus break the bondage of being trapped in darkness or ignorance. Insight can be akin to an awakening experience or as the Japanese Zen tradition would have it attaining to a state called 'Satori'. Blink! A light bulb in your head goes on and you find your answers out of the blue when and where you least expected, so to speak.
To arrive at this state the mind has to stop or pause from any form of thought or thinking. There is a silence in between two thoughts just like when the thermostat kicks is and the burring sound of the refrigerator or air  conditioner goes silent. The atmosphere in the whole room changes, your mental perceptions changes, unless off course you are an overly loud or very deep sleeper where no amount of distractions can affect you. A great many of us today are like this, people who walk around day in day out oblivious to the changes in the environment around them util it is too late and it hits them in a hard often negative ways and they are awaken wondering what hit them or why.

"Is it possible to be a light to oneself, not the light of another? Because our brain have been trained and evolved and accepted authority. Not only the outward authority of the law which is necessary, but the authority , the psychological  authority...the so called spiritual authority. We have become slaves to the authority. So we are controlled, shaped, connived, by those who say " We know, we have attained, we will tell you what to do, follow us', 'We will lead you to heaven, save you from your sins.'...such a mind committed, can never be free. Without freedom you can never find out what truth is."...J.Krishnamurti

Hence it is right back to square one, getting to know your prison, (poison) and being liberated from it before anything else can happen so as you can start functioning from a less darker zone than where you are at, at present. And to go about that you have to find a method, any method that sets you free and meditation is one of them and it comes in all shapes and sizes if you can see it as such whatever it is that you are most comfortable with as your daily activity, or you can simply find the time and place to simply sit ad do nothing; nothing doing accomplishing everything at your mental level.
When you have found your method or your form of meditation, something you do that will hold your mind or attention from going astray like sketching or drawing or simply cycling or walking, you start to work on your key weaknesses such as fear, sorrow, pain and misfortune, anything and everything that keeps you awake at night and haunt you throughout your life and you start to recognize them and eliminate them one by one as a part of who you are that you can do without, like dropping off your excess baggage. You are on you route toward being enlightened, unburdened by ideas and concepts, authority and conditioning, being free from who you think you are and becoming whatever that you truly aught to be, an enlightened being, a being of light with the Lightness of Being.

How do i return to Light? - Enlightenment.

I can only dispel the darkness through insight. How do i see that the thought is the creator of this darkness. The self is creating the darkness which constantly creating division actually there is no division between light and darkness, can you put away this sense of division. Can my mind put away the division Can I listen in my darkness. What is my mind yapping about? Well it has to do with what I discovered in my sitting yesterday morning, bout how how the moment i decided to 'sit', my mind sets about dealing with all the most recent negative events or episodes in y life and this would occupy almost the entire period of my meditation. How do i get out of this negative habit? How do I keep my mid from being influenced and monopolized by negatives thought patterns that would descend upon me one after another? Am I addicted to the negative or the darker side of my being? Or is this basically due to my external interactions through reading, observing, allowing myself to indulge in conversations having to do with negativity in their nature. The Media, the Internet, the chats in the coffee shops, the overhearing of tit bits from the tables across from me all covers very little if no positive news lately but is filled with horrors happening and about to happen. Or is my mind actually creating all these scenarios including this back pains and the lack of energy to perform better?
I have long accepted the fact that we as humans are a product of thought, as we think so we are and what our world has become. Yes, i listen to J. Krishnamurti and the rest of the them too much maybe and hav become ingrained with their teachings. I agree with most of what they have observed in their course of studies and contemplation but i am still inhibited by my own self created mental restrictions which by their understanding would be due to my conditioning. How I grew up and what or who had nailed it into me of what life is all about, lke what am I to like or dislike, is good or bad for me and so forth. It has taken me years of my life to be free from these conditioning, but my mind somehow has its own rate of what it wants to let go and what it holds on to after all these years. I realize sadly enough that my mind has a greater control over what i think than myself the thinker. How this has come about is what most of the modern day philosophers and psychologists are trying to unravel.
On this subject matter to my knowledge thus far only J. Krishnamurti had delved into and came up with a viable explanation and in his many talks all over the world and discussions held between himself and various other great minds of the sciences and humanities the subject of thought and the human agenda has been thoroughly investigated and put to the grind and it would not be far from the truth to say that what Krishnamurti had realized is today the framework of human consciousness. 'You are the World!" Krishnamurti had declared and he arrived at this statement after having pierced through the network of thought and its origin, its function and its influences on the human level. "We are what we think. All we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we create the world." The Buddha declared this some 2500 years ago. How do i dispel the illusion and manifest the truth in every action i take? How do i step out of the darkness and declare my Dharma position; in short how do i become liberated from the bonds of ignorance, (darkness, negativity)? This is what many of us are 'seeking' to accomplish and with 'Right Understanding' we hope that we can break this chain of ignorance and transcend this realm into the higher cal it what you may, the Divine, the Dharmakaya or whatever, but this realm or existence is definitely not what we want to be nor are we meant to be in permanently; there is too much suffering. There is too much inconsistencies and imbalance in our present state of being so much so that we are in need of a major realignment or our original state of being, that which was before we were even conceived, our original Buddha Nature as the Buddhist would have it.
“A fundamental conclusion of the new physics also acknowledges that the observer creates the reality. As observers, we are personally involved with the creation of our own reality. Physicists are being forced to admit that the universe is a “mental” construction. Pioneering physicist Sir James Jeans wrote: “The stream of knowledge is heading toward a non-mechanical reality; the universe begins to look more like a great thought than like a great machine. Mind no longer appears to be an accidental intruder into the realm of matter, we ought rather hail it as the creator and governor of the realm of matter. Get over it, and accept the inarguable conclusion. The universe is immaterial-mental and spiritual.”  – R.C. Henry, Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Johns Hopkins University ,  “The Mental Universe” ; Nature 436:29,2005) (source)

Saying Thank You.

Being thankful is in order this morning and so I bought five 'Roti Canai' for the crowd below, my way of saying thanks for being able to pray in the normal way again and not having to pee into a bottle in bed due to my lower back pains. The brisk walk to the coffee shop a block down was refreshing afters days of excruciating pains for every twist and turns I made and every step I take. I could even sing a John Lennon while taking my shower without any second thought, must be relieved even subconsciously Also received Rm500 from my friend Rashid at the Malay Art gallery who sold two of my mono prints which originally were priced at RM2500! but considering that they were sitting at the gallery for so long and one was even half eaten by termites and furthermore with me needing to pay for my Kancil, what can one say! Thanks!
I sat for a while this morning before the morning prayer and it felt good however one of the most interesting thing tht came to my notice was the fact how my mind clings on to and dwells upon every negative event or person that i encounter most recently or as an ongoing unresolved issue. The mind highlights the negative aspect of one's energies more so than the positive every time I sit in meditation and I have become so used to this that I thought nothing of it until this morning. This morning i decided No! Enough of these 'downers', I am in a great mood and deserve to be so after having gone through what i had and so it immediately shifted to something else as the silence that followed allowed for me to pay more attention towards how my body was healing itself. I listened to the sound of my breath going in and out steadily and i felt my body shifting as though it was realigning itself from way deep within me starting somewhere at the pit of my tummy. Soon my shoulders were dropping and my neck was back doing its routine of snapping and popping into place freeing energies up my spinal column.
Yes, I look forward towards a progressive healing and alignment of my entire being within and without in the near future and i hope to take my 'self' onto further positive states of being and consciousness now that I have exposed what has been out of place with my physical body. Yesterday's second trip to the 'Bone Setters' was fruitful in the fact that they also helped to put my left arm and shoulder into place and i experience no more pains like i used to where sometimes I could not lift up my arm to hang my cloth. The healing process I realize from my practice happens as a whole, it does not just happen to one part or aspect of your mind or body, it happens as a complete overhaul of the entire mind, body and spirit; this is true healing. From being healed you become more aware of your senses, that of physical such as the ease painless or less painful effort climbing the steps or the agility by which you feel when making any sudden move, to the feeling of humility and  compassion towards those less fortunate and are suffering as you did.
Healing also helps your faith in the higher order, in Allah, God or whatever else that you choose to call, if you are not an atheist. This faith in the power that has been a part of who you are and the source to your sense of power and well being. Alhamdullilah as the Muslim would immediately utter upon hearing that my lower back is healing or praise be unto Him as the Christian would do the same. Even if one is the worse of worshipers when it comes to the ritual performance of the mandatory aspect of worship, being grateful and thankful is in itself is a sign of great faith and to me is one of the most potent of our healing processes.

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”  ∞ Jim Morrison

I believe in the Miracle of the Collective Mind.

The past three days have been hell for me mentally, physically and emotionally and the worse of it all was the physical torture of a lower back pain. It happened so suddenly without warning and from the moment I realize what it was till this morning it has been a roller coaster ride of pain. Sharp searing pain the grips your waist like a vice and sometimes make it even hard to breath. Those who have gone through this malady will testify to how bad it can bring you down. I have had this attacks before and have thought that i have gotten used to it by now, but not so, not this time. This time it is different it is a whole lot of new elements of pain structures involve. There were times I thought i was going to go down with a stroke and perhaps half my lower part frozen for eternity and spend the rest of whatever is left of my life in a wheel chair. Join the OKU or orang kurang upaya, the handicap,.
Yesterday while sitting out the rain downstairs I had the opportunity to talk with a gentleman who had came to fix the air conditioner and for lack of things to talk about i told him of my debilitating back problem and by pure luck, (miracle?)  he had had a similar problem from  an accident. He told me of where he had his back fixed, a place called The Bone Setting, a Chinese family ran massage place which I later found out happened to be in just a small apartment transformed into a business place for therapeutic  massage. Soon I had two boys working on my back with vigor and precision while i was screaming with pain. From the moment I laid down on the massage bed I was told I had a terrible imbalance in my cervical area that my left leg is shorter than my right, that my thigh ball joint in my left leg had left its socket a  long time ago from the looks of things and that is why I am having problems on my left side including my left arm. It took two guys to pop it back in and it popped real loud that everyone in the room was surprised including my son Karim who accompanied me and my cousin Mohd Kalam to the place.
Last night was a night i would wish not even upon my worse enemy. It was a sleeping in one position and one only and this was achieved through sheer mind over pain. Off course my mind was having a field day and God was brought into the scene to help out whenever I could remember. Every short moments of falling asleep was filled with weird dreams, dreams that were out of this world most making no sense. The only time I can remember that was worse than this was when I had my Pleurisy attack while living in Corte Madeira, Marin County Ca. sometime in 1983. The episode is written somewhere in this Blog if anyone is interested just type 1986 SF Journal on the search box. I will not repeat the incident that also laid me flat on my back for quite sometime.
What I have learned from these last few days is that yes i think self healing works! It works in ways not as i would imagine but through the inter relationships of events and people in you life as you suffer your way through. The mind sets in motion the events and we can also say for some of us that God set a lesson for us to experience His power of 'Testing' and in this case he set in motion for me to learn yet another lesson in humility. Yes my mind if being put to the grind can help make things happen for better or for worse but it is not all totally in my control when it comes to how things are being played out. As someone said Man proposes God disposes.
So do I believe in miracles? Yes i definitely do and it may not be an instant miracle but a miracle of life it is. Life and its principle of interdependence is full of miracles if we are full of awareness to perceive them as they occur. For the past few days i have witnessed in my situation small miracles taking place towards the healing process of my ailment. How so many hands or Compassion, Love and Understanding had lent out their help towards making what would have been a very depressing and traumatic experience that would had led some to give up in despair has turned out to be an enlightening experience of people showing how they cared for me without doubt. My cousins and nephews and nieces, the workers for my cousin's catering business especially the ladies were more then concerned for my well being. My cousin sister and her husband in my book has more than exceeded the Bodhisatva criteria by a long shot.
How does it all amounted to self healing? Well self healing I learn is not just the mind providing miraculous curing medication out of the blue to heal every part of the body, it is the process by which the healing is set in motion and this is how the individual mind taps into the collective mind to help in the healing process. You have to be instrumental in setting in motion this process initially. Accepting then what comes as part of the process and abiding by the rules of nature and common sense you allow for things to happen towards getting healed.Only a mind free from egoic tendencies is capable of allowing for events to take their course allowing for help to happen. The individual mind in this case becomes subservient to the collective spirit. The collective mind or spirit works through Love and Compassion one has for others as you sow so shall you reap.

Do You believe in Self Healing?

It has been two days now since my lower back gave way and i am shifting around like a crab screaming inside with every shot of excruciating pain. It seems this is becoming an annual affair where i would get this lower back ache and this last one was out of the blue without any warning or trauma. I was standing by the trough waiting of dirty dishes when it hit me. A slight shift and i felt the searing hot pain barely perceptible in the beginning and them I knew what was coming and I had to grad a hold of the sink in front of me to avoid from making any sudden move, but too late and now i am an invalid. Off course the mind is having a field day of adding more to the aggravation by suggestions that it could be a whole lot worse than it seems, like a stroke in the process of happening as my left arm is also acting weird. Even as I am sitting here typing I can barely shift my body without being in pain, so I guess a visit to the hospital might be the next move.
Have not been to the doctor for god knows how many years now can barely remember when or where i last did. I just hate the hassle and like most stubborn idiots I don't really fancy having the state of my health spelled out to me "Sir, your cholesterol level is way up there and you got diabetes plus high blood pressure, further more you stand a great chance of getting a stroke at any moment if you persist in not taking care of yourself. You need a full medical check up, no two ways about it; do you have any medical insurance? Yes it seems just about every Tom, Dick and Mary who have passed 60 will face this similar medical junction and I am way pass that date. Call me stubborn or reckless, but I have insisted in my own self healing routine via my meditation and Yogic practices over the years and I strongly believe that a man can master his own physical well being if he is fully aware of it. I am a believer in the fact that the mind if trained can heal or at least maintain the well being of he body. Lame as it may sound i strongly believe in the power of auto suggestion that I had learned some forty years ago ever since i read about it in a book called The Master Key. It is based I learned latter on the principles of Raja Yoga, or Yoga of the Mind. That what you instruct the mind it will make it happen in time.
What's the sense of taking on any practice if at any slight aggravation or vexation one resorts to painkillers or worse. it is during these moments when your being is under 'attack' that you place bet on your long time believe and practice. It is now when all chips are down that you hold on to what you have been honing and sharpening as your toll for healing, otherwise you should have been enlisted among the physician's hundreds of files as a potential patient. Am i afraid of the doctor or the hospital? Absolutely not and i do have a very healthy respect for both. If i am asked if I have this or that, i will admit that chances are yes i have. High blood, diabetes, whatever else a sixty year old is expected to have, but i have also learned to understand my own body and its signals, its warnings as to the condition of its status. Like my car , The Kancil, which is now torn inside out for the second time by the same mechanics, I too am going through  a need for some major alignment. Perhaps more than just an oil change, perhaps a change is a gasket or two, some new spark plugs and timing belts replaced.
The mechanics who work on my body are in my head, they are the millions of cells that runs the whole system and controls the functions to the physical self. I talked to them, communicated my instructions, and placed my orders and through my long term observations they have not failed me. I have suffered a number ailments in the past and I have put my faith in this healing process and at 66 I am thankful that i am still kicking. As testified by this long ramblings, I can safely say that i practice what I preach over the years..
The edict that; I am Whole! Perfect, Strong, and Powerful, Loving, Compassionate, Harmonious and Happy and I can Do What I Will to Do...Insha'Allah ...so help me God, still is in my mind like, The Master Key.
I cannot help the wear and tear of my body especially when I am forgetful and become abusive of it, but i can still be mindful and bring my consciousness to bear on what is needed at the present moment to realign what is out of sync, to bring back balance where balancing is needed, to rejuvenate and activate, to discard waste where it needs to be cleansed. I am the custodian of my body, it is mt tool and equipment created for my being in this realm, this dimension and if I fail to understand how it functions I do not deserve to live up to my age with my senses still intact and doing what I enjoy doing. As my cousin Rahim used to remind me, I am living my bonus years as most people today are falling at much earlier age.
It is said that all that happens in one's life happens for a reason, good or otherwise, there is a lesson to be learned and in this circumstances it is best that you be totally present when it happens. Healing happens from breath to breath and from absolute awareness of what is happening. This is the beginning of knowing who you truly are and what you are capable of if you can understand the workings of your mind. You can heal yourself and if you fail you will die, so what else is there to worry about? The very least you can say to yourself, I did gave it a try and I did not flinch.
The doctor can wait for now.
   

The Salt Lick.

An hour's boat ride from where we camped at Sungai Kecil we reached the Sungai Besar or larger river on the Muda Dam. The trip was to visit the Salt lick somewhere further into the forest. A Salt Lick for those unfamiliar with the term is an area where salt and other forms of minerals are available through the natural occurrence in the earth such as hot springs. 

The area is not that large but it was littered with tell tale signs of wild animals having visited this place and this icluded elephant droppings. Because of the heavy rains the previous night most of the foot prints were washed out.

It would have been more exciting to have slept over for one night in the area as the animals comes down in the evenings and at nights.

The smell of sulphur fills the air and the water flowing in the stream is quite hot. We are in the volcanic are where the ground spews out sulphur and other gasses, this is a healing place.

It was exciting enough just to come by a pile of elephant turd to make you fill like they are there somewhere close by and it is best to be cautious.

The WWF had erected a 'macan' or observatory platform for their monitoring of the area.

Some pot holes where elephants or rhinos or tapirs had wallowed.

A few remnants of foot prints still visible despite the rain.

Chef in the Jungle!

Cook your own food or go hungry for the evening. So it is better that you have some basic skills especially in scaling fish and  preparing a curry dish as all your buddies are rice consumers and with rice is expected some form of curry.

So with hug flies busszing all around you threatening to enter your nose and ears you brave yourself gutting the fish and being weary that you do not shop off your ear while trying to swat off the flies.

The gentle rocking of the boat adds to the challenge not to chop off one of your fingers while busy preparing the fishes. This specie is found in the riv and is called Ikan Lampang. It has large scales a pain to remove and lots of  bones and so best fried.

It is great when you have the kitchen  all to yourself! Even if it is because no one else would be caught near it.

AH! Chow time! With some veggies picked right out of the forest!

And you eat alomst the same stuff right through the night.

What you are looking for is right there in front of you.

Humanity will survive only through getting to know its true nature that which collectively is the sum total of who we are and how we hold the responsibility towards the well being of the Planet. Until we come to know ourselves in connection to the whole we will never find will nor the energy to to safeguard our very environment and what is worse we will be the cause of the destruction of it all.

Humility means acknowledging how little we know about the universe; and humility comes from realizing that nature's beauty and mystery are worth infinitely more than our perverse obsession with illusory fame and fortune. Magick River.

We and our insatiable needs, our lack of  self control over our sense of greed and delusions. Whatever we endeavor to do we choose to do it out of self serving attitude like what is in it for me, like, got to take care El Numero Uno! Rarely do we act out of selflessness and compassion, rarely do we give without any strings attached. We make it a habit in taking more than we give.

Being able to breathe clean, fresh air and admire the distant hills every day may not get us into the Guinness Book of World Records or the Who's Who of the Banana Republics- but it will certainly get us closer to regaining heaven on earth.

Magick River

We found small fishes belly up floating down from this river as thought they were poisoned  somewhere up stream, however we could not be sure because it seems like only a few species were affected if it were caused by human poaching. Could it be that the water itself that is killing the fishes from being too  'sour' from rotting leaves and branches? It is a sad if not frightening thing to witness the falling apart of an ecosystem especially when it this deep in the forest. The government agencies that has anything to do with this issues is practically non existent or too far removed from what is happening.
"So stop midway through this frantic and futile feast of fools and look up at the ethereal clouds in the sky, and remember why we chose to be born on this exquisite and unique gem of a planet. Was it to puff ourselves up with toadish pompousness and amass a hoard of dragon's gold we could never bequeath to our grandchildren? Because our grandchildren would be too busy turning into cockroaches, rats, and other lifeforms that can survive or even thrive in ugly and polluted environments." Magick River

Scrambled eggs and baked beans for breakfast but it did not down to well with everyone who insist that a typical Malay breakfast aught to consist of some form of a rice dish, otherwise it will never be complete and so fried rice it was to go along with. It is wise to never leave watermelons sitting around out in the open when you are in the forest where elephants roam, like shark that can smell blood for miles out in the sea, elephants has a good taste for watermelons.
"Or did we come here to experience the separation of matter from spirit, and to learn how they can be harmoniously fused again? For this lesson would teach us that the outer reflects the inner. Where there is drought in the external reality, it means our souls are parched of feelings, love has dried up. Where there are landslides and flash floods, it means our integrity is decaying and our emotions are murky and raging out of control, bursting the banks of tranquility. And where the air is thick with greasy crud and black with factory soot, it means our thoughts are indecent (i.e., mechanical, pornographic) and our spirit is exhausted."

The main shack still in the making. while it is not a five star hotel it is good enough to shelter from the rain and the sun. To keep mosquitoes at bay do not be too lazy to sweep the yard and  burn the leaves to smoke away all the unwanted flying objects and creepy crawlers. It also helps to warn off larger animals from the general area at night.
"What will help is to reassess our management policies and national aspirations with complete truthfulness. We would immediately recognize that we have reached the point where national ego pride could ruin us and genuine humility just might save us."

Antares

Magick River

6 March 1999

Time in A Bottle....The Awakening.

Even in the wild where there was hardly any sound that was other than that found only in nature, no sounds of engines or motors, no yelling or screaming of human voices not even a barking of dogs, but only the Mawas and the birds high up in the trees, there is no escaping the mind. Thoughts of  my kids and how they were doing, thoughts of how poor I am financially and thoughts of how I have screwed up my life thus far still infested my mind. 

I sat looking at the grand display of light and colors and I wonder If I will ever be free from the attachments i have towards that which i have manifested in my life through  my actions of the past. Is there any chance of my mind being liberated from the thoughts of my being liberated from my mind and just be. 

And this too will pass like all else nothing is permanent no matter how beautiful it is just a fleeting moment in time and space and just to be present and be a aprt of the whole that is being displayed before me was all i could ask for. There was no one to share with and yet i felt the presence of All around me. I turned away in shame at how i felt a moment before, the feeling I just had about my mind not being liberated from thoughts and so forth. I turned away from the glory that God had set for my eyes only so that i did not add to it anythings else that would spoil its purity. I snapped the picture just to make sure that I will never forget the moment, how i felt the presence of  the Divine in Nature.

I realize i will never wake up to this very scene again, ever but I will never forget how it felt to be empty and become just a mirror looking out and looking into my my Soul. I can only express myself with a teardrop that flowed out of my eye and ran down my cheek; I felt the utmost loneliness and sadness in my Happiness of being awakened in the forest.

Where will come peace?

Three days it has been since i returned back to civilization after a couple of days spent in the heart of the Malaysian forest camped on the banks of the Sugai Kecil or smaller ricer in Ulu Muda a part of the Muda Dam area. It is fast drifting into days of 'same ol, same ol' where nothing has changed and the traffic outside my window seems getting heavier and more desperate. Georgetown has just been declared a City by the King and so everyone is excited for nothing as the GST is in motion and the nation felt its impact on their pockets. The mood in the country as a whole is at its all time low and if there is a civil war in the making it should start anytime now.

The most vociferous among all is the former Prime Minister, Tun Doctor Mahathir whose vehement and vocal attack on the status of the present PM Najib has been relentless. Now the Inspector General of Police has threatened to arrest the old timer while the IGP himself is being accused of telling lies to the nation about the murder case of the Mongolian lady. Oh it gets more and more exciting this garbage that is being strewn all over the country through politicians and religious pundits. It seems like there is no hope to an end to the saga of the Malaysian government as one episode falls upon another creating a scene like out of a TV serial while the common folks reels under the threat of economic melt down and racial upheaval. The irony would be that the loss is still theirs to bear while the rich and infamous laugh their ways out of the country or to the nearest off shore accounts. Tensions and acts of desperation's are beginning to manifest in the form of more and more violent crimes and theft, beatings and crimes of passion sometimes for no apparent reasons.
Malaysia is not a happy country anymore. Most or the people are angry if not disillusioned by what is transpiring in the administration of the country and how for a country that has practically anything and everything can slide down into a third world status country in such a short time is beyond them. Most are living hand to mouth and barely surviving the day while the rest are wondering when the keg will blow up after so much discord and diseases being fermenting for so long. Malaysia is no doubt like a time bomb waiting to unleash all that is being kept pressured within her and it is a matter of when. If Malaysians continue on living in denial, making belief that all is well when it is not, making excuses and and justifications while practicing self servitude I see very little hope for us all and when shit hits the fence there will be dire consequences to all, not only the poor and down trodden but the rich and the well to do as well.

As you move away from the object of your observation you begin to see the bigger picture and the bigger picture is not that pleasing these days.
There is no end to the call for the nation to wake up, to get real mad and to take it upon themselves to correct the wrong that is now becoming a malignant cancerous situation. It cannot be said enough that we as a nation should cry out foul! Surgically remove all the cancerous organs and replace them with more healthy and pure organs or we will be singing our last National Anthem before too long.