How do i return to Light? - Enlightenment.

I can only dispel the darkness through insight. How do i see that the thought is the creator of this darkness. The self is creating the darkness which constantly creating division actually there is no division between light and darkness, can you put away this sense of division. Can my mind put away the division Can I listen in my darkness. What is my mind yapping about? Well it has to do with what I discovered in my sitting yesterday morning, bout how how the moment i decided to 'sit', my mind sets about dealing with all the most recent negative events or episodes in y life and this would occupy almost the entire period of my meditation. How do i get out of this negative habit? How do I keep my mid from being influenced and monopolized by negatives thought patterns that would descend upon me one after another? Am I addicted to the negative or the darker side of my being? Or is this basically due to my external interactions through reading, observing, allowing myself to indulge in conversations having to do with negativity in their nature. The Media, the Internet, the chats in the coffee shops, the overhearing of tit bits from the tables across from me all covers very little if no positive news lately but is filled with horrors happening and about to happen. Or is my mind actually creating all these scenarios including this back pains and the lack of energy to perform better?
I have long accepted the fact that we as humans are a product of thought, as we think so we are and what our world has become. Yes, i listen to J. Krishnamurti and the rest of the them too much maybe and hav become ingrained with their teachings. I agree with most of what they have observed in their course of studies and contemplation but i am still inhibited by my own self created mental restrictions which by their understanding would be due to my conditioning. How I grew up and what or who had nailed it into me of what life is all about, lke what am I to like or dislike, is good or bad for me and so forth. It has taken me years of my life to be free from these conditioning, but my mind somehow has its own rate of what it wants to let go and what it holds on to after all these years. I realize sadly enough that my mind has a greater control over what i think than myself the thinker. How this has come about is what most of the modern day philosophers and psychologists are trying to unravel.
On this subject matter to my knowledge thus far only J. Krishnamurti had delved into and came up with a viable explanation and in his many talks all over the world and discussions held between himself and various other great minds of the sciences and humanities the subject of thought and the human agenda has been thoroughly investigated and put to the grind and it would not be far from the truth to say that what Krishnamurti had realized is today the framework of human consciousness. 'You are the World!" Krishnamurti had declared and he arrived at this statement after having pierced through the network of thought and its origin, its function and its influences on the human level. "We are what we think. All we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we create the world." The Buddha declared this some 2500 years ago. How do i dispel the illusion and manifest the truth in every action i take? How do i step out of the darkness and declare my Dharma position; in short how do i become liberated from the bonds of ignorance, (darkness, negativity)? This is what many of us are 'seeking' to accomplish and with 'Right Understanding' we hope that we can break this chain of ignorance and transcend this realm into the higher cal it what you may, the Divine, the Dharmakaya or whatever, but this realm or existence is definitely not what we want to be nor are we meant to be in permanently; there is too much suffering. There is too much inconsistencies and imbalance in our present state of being so much so that we are in need of a major realignment or our original state of being, that which was before we were even conceived, our original Buddha Nature as the Buddhist would have it.
“A fundamental conclusion of the new physics also acknowledges that the observer creates the reality. As observers, we are personally involved with the creation of our own reality. Physicists are being forced to admit that the universe is a “mental” construction. Pioneering physicist Sir James Jeans wrote: “The stream of knowledge is heading toward a non-mechanical reality; the universe begins to look more like a great thought than like a great machine. Mind no longer appears to be an accidental intruder into the realm of matter, we ought rather hail it as the creator and governor of the realm of matter. Get over it, and accept the inarguable conclusion. The universe is immaterial-mental and spiritual.”  – R.C. Henry, Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Johns Hopkins University ,  “The Mental Universe” ; Nature 436:29,2005) (source)