At the moment while I am writing this post my cat is stuck on the roof below my grills and I am at a lost on how to get him back up without him dropping twelve floors down. It has happened several times before where I simply dragged him out by the scruff of his neck but he has since grown in size and is having a hard time fitting in between the grills. I can feel he is scared out of his wits, what am I to do? And all the anger and frustrations stats to well up inside as the mind feels sorry for itself having to deal with the situation; the food of the ego to feel present. So just for now I choose to do nothing and let it go till new ideas of a change in the situation arises. I am in the meantime busy with my upcoming art exhibition next month. Thoughts of how what to that is needed and so on is whirling in my head, to frame, to hang to transport and where to get the funds! All I feel is I am tired! Physically, mentally and emotionally tired...and I got the whole day to worry about the cat...

                   Bochi, the one one always getting stuck on the roof.

Problems, adversities, issues, challenges will keep popping up when you least expect and so the saying expect the unexpected...it may not be good, still expect the unexpected, or I rather like the Boys Scouts' motto which says, "Be Prepared". Deal with a situation with calm and awareness, refuse to listen to the moan and groan of the ego self,  the small "I" and it will moan and groan. Let it, until it has no more to complain by merely observing its rise and fall and how or what makes the changes. There and will always be moments and episodes in one's life that will challenge all that you have practiced and bring you down to your knees, but they are all illusions they are there to shake your resolve and awaken you from your slumber.  I am telling myself these things more so than anything else, my on going catharsis and in this case in the present moment; what do I do? and the answer is still ,nothing! I do nothing as there is nothing that I can do except  continue painting my "Crow" painting and keep writing my thoughts down as I go along. I shall have some lunch before my gastric acts up on my empty stomach, it's almost 3;pm and have not eaten much since morning I'm cruising for a bruising as they say out West. 

I have had two cats fallen from the twelve to the ground floor and one, Furby the Mama cat survived with hardly a scratch but the experience of picking them off the floor below was not what I would like to keep repeating. Cats has nine lives they say, however they forgot to add 'some cats' to the line.

                                              Furby

As I feel like I am running out of things worth sharing on to the Blog, I have decided to take a break from making any more postings. I hope that in time I will find my life changes a little more exciting if not challenging worth reading other than cats jumping off the roof. Perhaps i will take a year off and see what gives. 

                                         

  

I have to wake up from giving up. - Happy 73rd. or 37th Birthday Bahari!!!

I woke up at 4;15 am. and sat on the bed addressing my Lord and Creator for forgiveness and Blessings on this my 73rd. birthday. I do this ritual between me and God just about every morning as soon as the 'Subuh' or morning call to prayer is heard from the State Mosque. I ask myself where have the 73 years been and answered that it has brought me here in this moment in space and time. I am grateful for the bonus of the number of years I have been blessed with and the relatively good health that I still am enjoying. Many of  my peers have left for the Happy Hunting Ground reminding me that I too am approaching that age where the end of this physical existence can happen at any time and pray that when it happens I will be able to exit this stage with grace and dignity intact, Insha'Allah, God willing. I will not dwell on the past as this long and tedious  Blog has done that, but I will look forward to what the future holds with greater zeal and zest and enthusiasm for if there be anything I have learned thus far it is that, life is too precious to be taken in vain. The best of times and the worse of times was upon pondering, seems to be as they should be or as they were meant to be. Call it fate, call it destiny or simply call it just living life; I did  and still am living life to the fullest whatever that criterion may be. I have long stopped comparing to others especially my twin brother and mu cousin who is a week older than me, and yes they are both successful in life in more than one way. Age is just a number as many a wise man would point out, however ageing is a process that transcends numbers if one live fully awaken to the moments in time of one's life. These entries I have been making in this Blog which numbers to date some 2400 entries thus far is but a speck of dust made in the entry in the Book of Life or the Loh Mahfuz as known in Islam. I am no larger in shape or appearance where the Universe is concern even if my ego would want to think otherwise. So the question still haunts me perhaps to my grave; Who Am I?

I have been neglecting making my posts of late, like skipping some pages from my diary. and this is not because I have lost interest in keeping up with this ongoing journal of my life, nay, it is partly because of the development happening in my spiritual practice. The latest twist and turns that has taken place in my meditation and self observation pursuit over the last few months which in part has taken the 'silence' mode. In the effort to silence the mind it is imperative that I avoid anything and everything that triggers thoughts and thinking. However I find myself failing at this attempt miserably as I am being drawn to watch more NETFLIX and listen to more YOU TUBE videos among others and visit more friends and relatives than I have in the past! However all is not lost, I believe I have been able to become more and more detached from most of these activities as I find myself more and more removed from them even as I am involved in their presence and as I used to call this in the past it is detached - involvement or as the Taoist would call it WuWei,- inactive action. I am writing this in fulfilling my commitment towards a promise made years ago to keep and ongoing Blog when it all began at my friend Fadzly Mubin's suggestion while I was living in the East Coast State of Kuala Terengganu sometime in 2004? I say detached involvement not simply of parroting what others are saying on You Tube or writing in books but I am saying it as a part of a personal self discovery observation in my self in my day to day self analysis of how my mind works and yes I am finding it possible as what was suggested by J.Krishnamurti that one can observe the mind's working as closely and even in my dreams.

It is interesting to find that as much as you try to silence the chattering mind the more it chatters and the subject is endless and as giving up is not an option one learns to accept and deal with it with skillful means. One learns to accept and adapt, to observe and evolve towards filtering and lessening the amount of traffic that flows through knowing the flow can never be stopped by any attempt or force; it will only stop on its own volition through right understanding and loving kindness, yes the human mind is a highly sensitive entity that can be coaxed into settling down and eventually silence; perhaps more so than anything any man has to deal with in his life. The sad feeling is how many do really pay attention to such an obvious task as this taming of the mind in this day and age? The answer really is , it does not really matter, or perhaps more than I expect as the proliferation of knowledge today is boundless and as the saying goes at the very tip of the fingers. Next to breathing, thinking is of paramount importance for man to understand and come to terms with and allot has been talked about and written on this matter readily available in books and You Tube.

Hence, I must say that at the age of 73 I am still trying to understand how my mind works and how to find the peace and tranquility that  most of us seek to embrace. It is said that it might take a lifetime or it might happen allot faster if one can make a retreat into a cave in the mountains somewhere, but this is all still mental formations and projections that I still have to deal with. Surrendering the ego personality takes some doing as th ego is a formidable entity that will always demand attention and recognition and the ego can only be coax into giving up itself willingly or better yet be allowed to act in times of need without fear or favor towards achieving a goal; i.e. the ultimate absolute freedom from the small, thinking mind; the primary tool of expression for the ego. This is the mind that is always in need and often having low self esteem Not that it matters anymore, but I love my ego and without having been egotistical in the past I would not end up here where I am making this entry. At 73 I can still express myself, my thoughts and feelings, my guilt and shame, my success and achievements. I just gave a back massage to a 64 year old friend at the fisherman's jetty where I spent the evening, I hope it helps him to wake up from giving up.( in despair and defeat). I have also set out at the initial stage of writing this Blog in order to master the art of the written form, the ability to express myself in words albeit therapeutic or otherwise     - I wanted to become a great writer. Have I accomplished this? It remains to be seen. It is my egotistical desire to be able to send a sonic boom across the universe at the moment of my physical death to announce like the historical Buddha,  that "Behold I have Awakened and the Universe Awakens with Me!...I am no more."   #happyhuntingground,#physicalexistence,#lohmahfuz,#thebookoflife,#youtube,#jkrishnamurti,#wuwei,#chatteringmind,#historicalbuddha    

   

   

      

I need to take a Break from making serious observation of myself; I think too much - Part one.

 So let's us take a trip back when to take a retreat from the present state of mind...San Francisco! Specially for those who are familiar with life in The Bay Area.

  " I am stuck in the middle, my friend,,,!" - Joshua Bowes, while living on Haight and Ashbury right on the corner facing the ADVARK recycled clothing store, used to be behind The Gap. This is for the benefit of those who were my fellow travelers on this path of self discovery, self dissolution, self annihilation; the middle way. Those who are familiar with the Haight/Ashbury colorful cultural/historical background, the Birthplace of the Flower Children! Located on the outskirt of the Golden Gate Park, it was the place where a whole lot of cultural cum spiritual changes took place and perhaps still does. I used to live for a few yeas in this area of the San Fracisco Golden

                                    With Josh and his Indonesian Buddy  taken in his kitchen .

Gate Park, we used to live on Stanyan and Carl, my late wife Nancy and our infant son, Karim. Our apartment was right at the top of the road and parking was always a challenge. I still have the note that was left underneath my windshield wiper, saying to the effect that had rolled off and made a complete U-Turn where it was parked in

someone's driveway. The Lord must have been watching over us that no accident had taken place. And why am I telling all these? I am sharing a piece of my life while living with my family in the San Francisco Bay Area where in all I spent ten Years of my life from being a Zen student/ Organic Farm worker to running an Industrial yard on the SF Water Front area as the Yard Superintendent for H&H Ship and Environmental Service, This company is long gone and the whole area where I had spent six years of my life with the Office at 20, China Basin right next to the O'Shagnessy draw bridge on Third Street.

Anyhow, the whole area has been turned into the Present San Francisco Giants Ball pARK.! I was working at a site where major changes was about to happen it was a privilege, an honor to be present on one of the SF Landmarks, the Water Front. Stretching from the Presidio all the way to Hunter's Point, this was where I worked as a Yard Boss. I was in charge of the Underground  Fuel Tank Dispossal  facility and the general management of the whole Yard area. It was one of the most toxic and messy job that I have ever held and I spent six years of my life making sense out of non-sense, keeping safe what was potentially the most hazardous environment to work in. I needed a job and I was just (kicked) out of the Zen Monastery at Green Gulch Farm and was sleeping underneath Joshua's kitchen table till I got on my feet or face becoming a homeless in the Streets of SF.

 

The highlight of my life living in the SF Bay Area was working for H&H Ship and Environmental Services, a Hazardous Waste Management and Ship servicing Company located off third Street on the Water Front Area of The SF Bay. I loved my life, not an easy one but it a many of its time where I grew to know myself better, my weaknesses and and my strength. Here I found and lost Love and I lost my self esteem and any pride that I have for myself and found that I had to raise two beautiful children while my late wife taught English as a second language out of UC Berkeley, Ca. It was in the Bay Area that I was able to let off much of anger at life thanks to my friends and loved ones, I Love San Francisco and will always feel blessed having tasted Her beauty and her wealth of humanity, of love for one and another, I learned my lessons after ten years of living in this beautiful City, Two of my children were born in the City, one at the Davies Medical Center and the other at the one on Army and Mission Street, can't remember the name now.  #sanfrancisco,#haightashbury,#goldengatepark,

It's all a matter of Justifying to myself....

One who justifies, does not convince,

Not even to himself...Lao Tzu, ( the Old Boy at the Gate).

All my life I have been justifying to myself, my reason for existing in the time and space I occupy in this physical form, with these same old thoughts of right and wrong and I am not convinced as just yet if I have the answers...or any idea even of my original nature of who or what I am; this is my spiritual conundrum. After having written so much thus far I am beginning to feel the time has come to cease trying to put my lengthy justifications in words, cease telling my stories to a mindless audience not out there, except in my own imagination and to trying to convince this act of catharsis will unveil a revelation or two as to what if there is any meaning to this , my personal existence. Please do not ask me like who is asking, do not take these cheap Zen trip shots but come with answers that can help liberate this soul from its present sate and move on to a higher level of consciousness. I invite you to walk with me through this passage in time of ours. With the 'I' no longer in the equation and the "I am" is non existent, words have become useless, they have become irrelevant, redundant while in the effort to reveal what is beyond or transcendent of words, I cannot bring myself to reveal what is happening in 'My' absence. ..I am No More. The supreme state is without a form or emptiness, a being or non being-ness, it is the complete perfect state of wholesomeness of presence...a Peace of which words has no means to express, however express to the best of my ability I have to just for documentation sake, for me and my children and theirs if there be any. Who or what was my father, Shamsul Bahari@Nanda Sena s/o Simone Bartholomuze @ Abdul Mutalib Bin Abdullah, who was my Grandfather? and his...? There's my mother and my grandmother and their side of the family equation...who am I, you too will one day ask yourself...I hope you do, and sooner than later.

By "skillful means", the Buddha taught the Middle Way and by skillful means I have to make my delivery of how the 'I'got here after all these years and then some! By the mastery of self over the ego and by seeing the real and the unreal and making choices of letting go, of abandoning of all hope and expectations, surrendering fully to the unutterable supreme state of Being; the Supreme Consciousness; God, Allah, Krishna, Shiva, Buddha, Christ, Yahweh, Elohim, The Tao and so forth...I am developing hernia from sitting too long and eating cold food and so on! 

What is a hernia? A hernia occurs when an internal organ or other body part protrudes through the wall of muscle or tissue that normally contains it. Most hernias occur within the abdominal cavity, between the chest and the hips.27 Sept 2018

The body has its ways and means of drawing my attention to it through more than just tooth aches and chest pains, hence every time one denies being the mind or the body, remember one is liable to get a hernia. It is not what I look forward to dealing with at the moment, however deal with it I have to, it is part of the practice of skillful means and an important one whether one 'is' the body or not. 

"Absolute perfection is in the here and now,

Not in some future, far or near,

The secret is in action, here and now."   ...Nisargadata Maharaj. 

And he said, to avoid taking a spiritual path...it is like letting go of the Divine and the Sacred...the religious crutch the dropping off of all assumptions and concepts, of imagination and meditation. It is like drop all spiritual security blanket and veils of ignorance, stand out in the light of Truth...of Supreme Consciousness...of, of Peace and Tranquility, the abode of non - being, where form and emptiness are relative, where only action prevails from moment to moment, from breath to breath...these words are for my own personal benefit and would make very little sense to others, these are what I am thinking to my self, the I is still here in the now and still attached to the body and mind believe system.

"There is nothing to be done, nothing to give up,

Just look and remember, whatever you perceive is not you,

not yours." ...Sri Nisargadata Maharaj.

This is when I reach out into the Silence Mode, a mental- lockdown, this when I close my eyes and take a long deep breath and obliterate all thoughts from my mind...Silence! I am in between two thoughts, the space that is a pause of silence where a thought is coming into birth while another is dying... fading away. In this silence there is change or shift in the mind where new thoughts arises more positive healing thoughts thoughts that are the fruit of long practices of Love and Compassion for self and others rather than past toxic thoughts that hang around one's neck like a dead Albatross. I seek refuge in the Silence whenever my mind takes on unnecessary warp drives. I have a mind that is overactive and I am in a sense addicted to thinking, imagining, replaying, I have a mind that sees the worse in the worse and the best, my mind is corrupted and it has very little respect for the laws of man or nature; yes I have a very warped mind in all it aspects. I aught to have been lobotomized or sent to the mental home at an early age, but I was lucky not to. 

Letting go is not as easy as getting attached to. In the subconscious  mind there stores of past memories, skeletons in the closets and painful events that have scarred the soul in its infancy and while growing up, it is  a miracle for one to be able to silence the mind once and for all without going insane in the process. I have failed. All these years of trying to unravel the mysteries of life through the understanding of who I am, I have failed in finding anything that has truly any meaning to the answers. I am an intellectual fool trying to untangle the tangle of life itself through thoughts and words. I have to fully embrace 'Silence." I have to seriously take this path to the next level if I am to stay on this 'road to find out', Only through being one with the truth am I going to be able to overcome all doubts and fears manifested by my mind, and the 'Truth shall set you Free." The truth of who or what I am...who am I? #laotzu,#srinisargadatamaharaj,#allah,#krishna,#christ,thesupremeconsciousness,#themiddleway  

 

 

It is Time to Ramble! -On Faith or Fortune.

 This day and age there many wannabe crusaders for their religious faith and some have gathered fans who follow and praise their efforts with enthusiasm in videos made for You Tube and other media forms. There are many authentic Gurus and Teachers self claimed or otherwise who spread positive and healing messages through their podcasts and video presentations such as Sadhguru Jagidev, Mooji, Ekart Tolle and not to mention personages such as the Dalai Lama and the recently demised Rev. Thich Naght Hahn and one of my favorite Swami Sarvapriyananda of the New York Vedanta Society. Then there are those whose thoughts and ideas are relayed posthumously by videos put together by their adepts and fans, like Alan Watts, J.Krishnamurti and the great Hindu saints like Sri Ramana Maharshi, Sri Ramakrishna, Papaji and Nisargatdata Maharaj to name a few. Most of these past and present 'Teachers' so far as I know have rarely if not ever condemn another man's faith or religion in order to promote their own, their teachings are inclusive of other faiths and tolerant towards any differences that may exist between their thoughts and views.

Religious faith is the most personal of human traits and no matter one's faith and belief, it is one's own understanding and perception of that faith. For someone else to make any judgment or commendations or even comments upon one's faith is like allowing for another to pull one by the nose this way or that according to what they perceive to be the truth; this is a weakness of one's faith in what one believe to be the truth. Truth, like reality is not fathomable by the average mind and by nature it is relative and in accordance to one's own personal understanding of the nature of things albeit spiritual or material. An awakened or enlightened mind will behold truth and reality in a more in-depth manner than an average mind clouded by the conditioning of the world of Maya or Illusory world. It is those who are limited in their perception or lacking in a complete transcendent view of the whole that creates a negative stir in spiritual development of humanity, armed with a limited knowledge of the truth, knwledge picked up here and there randomly, they become sanctimonious in their views and accusations towards other faiths. One such individual I came upon in YouTube is Robert Spencer whose views of Islam and especially of the Prophet of Allah is like a vendetta almost as though the Prophet Muhammad had done him wrong in some some unforgiving way. This man thrives upon his lambasting of the Muslim Messenger of God like he knew the Man personally and even in the end writes books questioning the Prophet's very existence in history. One wonders what drives a man to such hatred if it is not fame and fortune or perhaps of being a Zionist Jew.

There are many others like him who seek fame and fortune through their ability to spin and sell thoughts and ideas that feeds the spiritually needy, those who have difficulty in doing their own research and come to their own self realized conclusion and those who needs a punching bag or a boogie man to expunge their own devils or ignorance. You Tube channel has many such characters who overnight has become unshakable authorities on the rights and wrong of religions albeit Judaism, Christianity or Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism and many others. These I call minions of the Ungodly or the slaves of the Antichrist/ Dajaal and Satan as they seek to run a wedge through between religions and faiths with their twisting and spinning of false flags to gather a following on the Internet. The devil has his job cut out with these people carrying out their active sowing of seeds of doubts and disbelieve among those who are weak and ill informed of their own faith. My word of advice to those who are easily swayed by such minions is to do one's own footwork and research like one's own life depends on it. Wake up! Do not be easily fooled by those who claim to know the truth simply because they are able to quote a verse or two and cite an authority here and there all of which today is readily available at the finger tips if one is diligent enough to look for in the Internet. Taking quotes and information out of context is a favorite mode of operation by those wannabe our modern day evangelists and that may be for any religious cause, Islam, Christian and the rest. Accusing the Prophet of Islam of polygamy in the times of 'jahiliah' or ignorance of the Arab Beduins is fine but what about the modern day Mormon and the likes of, "Thye Prophet' Warren Buffet?

When you attack any faith or religion it is like you are attacking humanity itself. You are not doing anyone any favor but yourself, not the faith you are in and most of all not God. The Prophet of Islam is said to have said that, be aware that the finger that is pointing with accusation at another has four other fingers pointing right back at himself. It is my intuition that the motive behind most of these religious or spiritual attacks is caused by cultural as well as belief systems that sees religions as a threat towards their own collective existence, like the Nazism or the White Supremacists, or the Jewish Zionists Movement, or Al Qaeda for that matter and a host of other groups that is anti-religious faith, each looking for ways and means to disrupt and if not dismantle the human spiritual unity through religions. No religion is perfect as no man is just so, however throughout the ages man has come to depend upon religious faith and dogma to keep humanity from a  mass psychosis and chaos. The fear of hell and retribution in the afterlife. rightfully so or otherwise has kept many a civilization from tearing itself apart. Unfortunately if not fearfully so, man today are becoming immune towards this fear or as the Buddhist calls it karmic retribution. Greed, Hate and Ignorance has practically overruled such fear and sanctioned the right to free will and enterprise' do as thou will! 

Humanity is in dire need of a healing process through whatever means and not negative thoughts and ideas simply to create a divisive environment of conflict between existing religions, the days of the Jihad and Crusade are buried in history or should be so. Any thought of creating a schism between faith aught to be dismiss as an attempt to add on to humanity's ills and ailments and this is evil. Even if one has no knowledge or believe in the existence of evil in its manifested form such as revealed by religions throughout the world, evil still exist as what Carl Jung would call.The Shadow in human psychic identity and the Native Americans warn us of the Trickster and Buddhism warn us of Mara and the religion of the Book warn us of the Anti Christ or Dajaal. To deny of these negative energies in whatever forms they may manifest in our lives is like denying that man has any soul or consciousness, incapable of discerning between right and wrong, good and evil, even after eating of the fruit from the tree of knowledge in Genesis, man is still blind to ever see the truth of his existence and much less to recognize the Divine in himself. Man will end as food and fodder for the enemies of his Creator; the Antichrist and Satan, (i.e. if one is a believer or one has faith.) As it is written with every episode of the X-Files, "The Truth Is Out There!" And as it is revealed with every spiritual practice, "The Truth is Within You!" You claim to have free will, the choice is yours to seek, within or without. #antichrist,#dajaal,#whitesupremacist,# robertspencer,#zionistjew,#xfiles,sadguru,#swamisarvapriyananda,#nisargadatamaharaj,#papaji,#theshadow,#thetrickster,#isis        

 

Food Shortage =Soylent Green Syndrome?

i Received a message from my friend Jerry Sule from Green Bay, Wisconsin, a video posted by Ultra Dante, Another Food Processing Plant erupts in flames in Wisconsin. Believe we are approaching 100 such coincidences since 2021, the article went on to add. 

Ultra Dante 

@RealDante12

·

20 Jun

Another Food Processing Plant Erupts In Flames, this time in Wisconsin. Is this another conspiracy theory or is it a real case to be concern about now that Jerry has posted the video in my mind. I used to work for a meat packing house in Green Bay and later in Milwaukee after I was fired from the Green Bay Meats and Cold Storage for a total of over 3 years, that's another painful reminder of my life story but quite an interesting event none the less. Now who and why would anyone or group would want to run around torching our food production plants especially in this day and age when we are facing a global shortage of food? If this be true, if thus far 98 food related production plants has been razed to the ground all over the United States, then it is a case for concern as some of these Plants are major producers, however if it is a coincidental occurrences we can sleep better and hope the number of losses will not exceed the fear factor. Thank you Jerry Sule for updating the latest case for concern to my consciousness.

Are we approaching the 'Soylent Green' scenario where food shortage is concern?

soylent (uncountable) An undesirable, lackluster, and artificial foodstuff, as a substitute for real meat.

It comes in various colors, the best of which is the titular Soylent Green. The company bills their new green variety as more nutritious, having been manufactured from oceanic plankton, but by the end we know the truth. Soylent Green is people!16 Feb 2022

The definition of soylent green is the food that 40 million hungry people in New York survived on in the award-winning science fiction movie Soylent Green.

I am just playing around with this macabre idea as a possibility as I am much concern about the lack of importance given to our food supply not half as much as our war supplies. No doubt food prices are sky rocketing in my country for whatever reason and yet most people are still accepting the fact as though this trend will make a U-turn on its own sometime in the near future. I have always been an advocate for the food production in agriculture and Malaysia has fall prey to vast tracts of land being turned into palm oil plantations which is considered a lucrative venture however only to the few. Rubber and other plantations has also been focused upon as a source of economic income and these too has claimed vast tracts of agriculture land. The growing of food such as fruits and vegetables has taken a back stage to  these crops and Malaysia imports most of her food from neighboring countries.

We are running short on chickens and beef too and not too many people are keen on being involved in these activities where raising chickens and cattle, goats and pigs are not the calling of today's youth. So we will sit and wait till all hell breaks loose and the food shortages will become a reality and cannibalism as in the movie, Soylent Green becomes a reality. I do pray not to be around when this happens but my children if they too are not too deep in the sleep of denial hopefully will wake up to the reality that is slowly but surely enfolding the country as a whole. We are in this country of Malaysia governed by a failed system whereby corruption is at its highest and the people are too wrapped up into their own self serving modes as to realize the iceberg is not too far off from the ship. We will always rest assured that we got all that we need as far as resources is concern and will never run out of food. Incidentally, we are also at the top there when it comes to food wastage! 

Where war and violence has failed perhaps hunger might do the trick, When humanity finds that food and water is in very short supply there wil be hell to pay and even the fear of God will not the chaos and anarchy that will be unleashed upon humanity. Who stands to benefit from such a catastrophe? Your guess is as good as mine and at the end of the day the few will sleep soundly in their protective bunkers while the rest of man will be at each other's throats! Pray that this too is just another doomsday conspiracy theory to be taken with a grain of salt. There are still numerous food related Plants still in good running state and loosing a few more will most probably not be that much of a concern, #ultradante,#wisconsinfoodplant,#soylentgreen,#  

 

Contemplation on Death..

  In light of loosing a teacher or two of my spiritual practice over the years, I have have had my own bouts with impending feeling of death approaching around the corner. Yesterday I spent a good deal of my time alone facing what seemed like a panic attack with death as the main source of aggravation. I tried to fall asleep after taking some painkillers but to no avail and I tried to walk it off as a physical exercise still not effective, then I sat on my bed and meditated and as my mind quieted down but the fearful feeling of death still on my mind, I began to pray to the Lord, Allah (SWT), God, Brahman, Jehovah, Elohim... The Great Spirit, surrendering my heart and soul in the event that I am about the exhale my last breath; I totally surrendered my whole being I said unto His hands for safe keeping. ...Innallilahi, wainnalillahi rajiun...from You I came to You I return, Aamin! What followed, I felt the fear and 'panic attack receding, physical and mental and I found peace as I laid back and fell asleep. after a short while I woke up from my nap felt much better like a nightmare has been lifted from my consciousness.

The body is still up to par with the rhythm of the flow of life, rising and falling with every shifts in the dimensions and energies flowing with the least of obstruction or hindrances. This body of mine has seen many a rough ride as so this mind that have lived through for the past seventy odd years is still getting its mileage in. Although I welcome my physical death, I value every minute and every breath I take like it is my last. I 'd like to expire with grace like the old oak tree that had survived numerous freezing cold winters of Wisconsin. I'like to die with the grace and dignity of the homeless man sleeping under the overpass in a cardboard box. I'd like to die knowingly that the moment of my death is Now! at this moment...I am aware that I am dead. I feel in my heart, that I will die twice in this lifetime and the first one has already taken place, an event that had changed the course my life. The event had involved my Teacher and friend DSennis Junpo Kelly and it took place in the small town of Corte Madeira, in Main County, Ca. The event has been told several times in the past in this Blog, a time in my life when I was on the verge of ending up as a homeless n the streets of San Francisco. A time when I entered the Zen Buddhist Practice at Green Gulch Farm. On the night of the New Year's Eve sometime in 1983-4, I came to face to face with death, the doctor in Marin County Hospital called it pleurisy.

I fear the unknown more than death itself, like what really happens and how does one cope the whole process of transition from one state or dimension into another, what will my consciousness be like or am I truly;No  More! Gone, gone, gone beyond the concept of the word gone...!! Will it be transmigration from one spirit realm to another as processed by the laws of Karma. Is it heaven or hell according to the religions of the Faith, of Islam or Christianity or Judaism abiding according to the laws of Moses and Jesus and Mohammad from the Lord. The Lord thy God is a Jealous God, have ye no God other then He. The Historical Buddha was not a God but his teachings had made allot of sense to me for my spiritual growth. Has humanity followed His Way even in the most very basic of understanding, we would have seen less suffering in this world of ours. The Four Noble Truth  is of the essence in Buddha's teachings, the Path toward the Liberation of sentient beings from suffering; life is suffering. Know this to be true, accept it as the goal in life to seek the truth of this life and what is the cause of suffering. Why even the most richest most successful and the most spiritually free faces suffering of one nature or other. Hence the historical Buddha who was a Prince by the name of Gautama, took upon himself to unravel this mystery of life, death and rebirth, 

Ignorance is the main cause of suffering, it is the cause of all fears in man for ignorance is a blinder like those placed on a horse pulling a carriage, ignorance keeps the mind imprisoned. Not knowing is one thing, not wanting to know is something else; the truth, the Real, the infinite possibilities, is a whole different matter. The refusal to know what is real and what is the point of beginning of our dual thinking mind that have led us here in this world of Maya, of illusions and delusions; we are trapped within out own self created net or box, the black and white box, the good and bad box, the right and wrong box. Getting out of this box is our jihad in this life, the Buddha Shakyamuni took it upon Himself to walk this Path towards self discovery asking the simple question of .Who Am I? Liberation from this realm of existence is through fully awakening to the answer.The Buddha is said to have said,"Suffering is, none who suffers, Enlightenment is, but none who attain it."      

 

Tribute to a friend and teacher - Dennis Junpo Kelly.

 Found out that my first Zen Teacher, Junpo Dennis Kelly had passed away sometime on May 12th. 2021, Dennis was born the 14th. of April 1942. I met Dennis through his mother Mrs. Rosella Kelly of Green Bay Wisconsin. We were both members of the Print Making Club at the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay. She must have been in her sixties back then and me in my thirties and she was a very outspoken and tough no nonsense elderly lady who one evening changed the direction of my life. I know I have written of this episode of my life a few times at least in the past postings of this lengthy blog, but it is worth it today to share again this event in light of discovering the passing away of my first Zen Teacher, Dennis Junpo Kelly. Dennis was the eldest of Rosella's children and the most controversial in character. 

Jun Po Denis Kelly began his Buddhist practice at Zen Center San Francisco in the early ’70s, later becoming a student of Eido Shimano Roshi in New York and subsequently a monk. He received his Zen Master recognition in 1992. Interested in bringing his Zen lineage (Rinzai tradition) into American culture without the Japanese cultural bindings, Jun Po left the monastery and founded the lay Buddhist Hollow Bones order, of which he is abbot. A yoga instructor as well, he traces his lineage to BKS Iyengar and Pattabhi Jois. He established the Hollow Bones seven-day Zen retreats for the Mankind Project.

Latest information I had of Mrs. Kelly is;-

Rosella R Kelly, aged 97,lives in 119 Union St Apt 107, River Falls, WI 

Although the exact date has now become a blur in my consciousness, however the episode that took place between Rosella and I is always still vivid in my mind. We were both standing side by side cleaning our copper plates, polishing them till the shine which was part of the printmaking process. While wrapped in what I was doing I felt an elbow jabbed into my side from my elderly neighbor who said out of the blue, "Sam, I think it is time for you to move on from this place and situation you are in! You can go and join my son Dennis in New York where he has just been ordained as a Zen priest. I understood and accepted her insight into my life's situation back then where I was becoming an alcoholic and a drug addict abusing my relationship to a very fine lady who was a member of the University faculty. I agreed and in the same evening decided to make preparations to leave for New York.

My destination was to be; 

Location
Location	223 Beecher Lake Road, Livingston Manor, New York 12758-6000
Country	United States
Architecture
Founder	Soen Nakagawa Roshi & Eido Tai Shimano Roshi
Completed	July 4, 1976
Website
http://www.daibosatsu.org

Dai Bosatsu Zendo Kongo-ji zendo

Dai Bosatsu Zendo Kongo-ji, or International Dai Bosatsu Zendo Kongo-ji, is a Rinzai monastery and retreat center located in the Catskill Mountains of upstate New York. Maintained by the Zen Studies Society, Dai Bosatsu Zendo Kongo-ji 

However this plan did not fan out because later that night I had a call from Rosella informing me of the change of my destination. Instead of New York I was to go to San Francisco because her son Dennis had decided to open his own Zendo or meditation hall in the West Coast instead of the East. Thus with yet another stroke from her my future was changed and I headed for the West Coast to meet her son Dennis, the ordained Rinzai Zen Monk. Dennis who was deeply involved with the Flower Power People at one time and had spen three years of his life at the San Quantin State Penitentiary for drug trafficking and who later explored Sri Lanka and India in search of truth and reality through Yoga and other meditation practices and returned to the US to join the Zen Buddhist school in New York.

When I first laid my eyes on Dennis he impressed me immediately as one who had that air of determination and commitment and willing to take on any challenge in pursuit of whatever he had laid his mind to accomplish. His appearance alone was awesome to behold especially when he was he was dressed up in the simple Japanese outfit of loose pants and the cross over top. Dennis was ball of energy it seems and was always in motion doing something and making things happen according to his plan. With the help of his younger brother Patrick we set up the Kanzeon Zen-Yoga Center at 20, Magnolia Blvd. in Corte Madeira. The Zendo was made out of two abandoned classrooms that Dennis had rented and converted into his scholl for the teaching of Zen meditation and his Hatha Yoga or as he called it Guerrilla Yoga classes. Dennis was a student of the Ashtanga Yoga, with BKS Ieyengar a famous Yoga teacher for his strenuous yoga techniques. 

Ashtanga Yoga is an eight-limbed path towards achieving the state of Yoga, also known as Samadhi. The definition of Ashtanga Yoga is found in the Yoga Sutras of Patañjali, an ancient text on the theory and practice of Yoga thought to have been compiled in about 200 CE by Sage Patañjali

Dennis was also a Shakuhachi player or was practicing to become one as the flute is known to be a difficult instrument to master.

A shakuhachi is a Japanese and ancient Chinese longitudinal, end-blown flute that is made of bamboo. The bamboo end-blown flute now known as the 'shakuhachi' was developed in Japan in the 16th century and is called the fuke shakuhachi. Wikipedia

Although our relationship was brief due to unforseen circumstances I held a great respect towards my teacher and friend and will forever hold him in high esteem as an accomplished individual who was able to turn his life from crime to spirituality serving many who in his later life benefited from his teachings. Rest in peace my friend.

#junpokelly,#daibosatsuzendo,#

 

In Loving Memory of Thich Naht Hahn, -Thay

 Peace! Peace! Peace! Ommm Shanti, Shanti, Shanti...Shalom! Asalamualaikum, Peace be with you! 

I call out to my self through the voices of others, teachers, gurus, Roshis and Rishis, mentors and guides, the old fisherman and the voice of the computer nerd; they all call out to me to share their take on life and I listen and I watch and I learn and I assimilate and I put to the test, I put it to practice and in the end it all does not really matter as I come to the conclusion of this my final phase of the journey; I am still groping in the dark for answers. Do I hear the calls, do I read the signs, take heed the warnings? The journey has been about this issues of what have I learned and or have to unlearn letting go of that which has become obsolete in my vocabulary of everyday life and move on. Thoughts and ideas, dreams and visions, imaginations and perceptions, these are my tools of expression in sharing and being a part of this realm of existence, the physical external realm of manifestations; I am not these. ...I am transcendent, I am detached from being identified with any form of thought and bodily actions, I am merely the watcher, the witness the observer and I pay attention to these phenomena with bare attention., detached/unattached involvement..wu wei., like plucking the lotus without wetting my fingers...

It is easier said than done, this spiritual act of detachment from the physical world, it takes  a whole lot of understanding the nature of consciousness itself and it is no piece of cake. It is a lifelong journey for most and only a handful gets the blessing or Grace to become awakened in one lifetime or within this  lifetime before the curtain is drawn. In a manner of speaking living this life is a gamble and those whose learn the ropes and rules of game gets ahead and some gets it into their head and exploit this Grace, this Gift and  squander it, enough is never enough...I'm guilty of this as the next man if not more so;Greed! Desire of more and more and never finding the point of satisfaction where enough is more than enough, greed is a very deep rooted karmic illness along with hate and ignorance. I am aware of my weaknesses and my human errors, my transgressions if not for them I would not be where I am at today. I played my fiddle and sang my songs and I ate when hungry and slept when sleepy and otherwise I sit and watch the grass grow, this too is who I am....and breathing in, I know I am breathing in...breathing out, I know that I am breathing out...stop breathing I know I am dead...this too is part of who I am...playing yet another role in my ongoing dream and knowing that it is time to quit...take a break! Go Lay down and take a nap... Ommm Shanti, Shanti, hi.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who was one of the world's most influential Zen masters, spreading messages of mindfulness, compassion and nonviolence, died on Saturday at his home in the Tu Hieu Temple in Hue, Vietnam. He was 95. The death was announced by Plum Village, his organization of monasteries.29 Jan 2022

A prolific author, poet, teacher and peace activist, Thich Nhat Hanh was exiled from Vietnam after opposing the war in the 1960s and became a leading voice in a movement he called “engaged Buddhism,” the application of Buddhist principles to political and social reform.

Thich Nhat Hanh dismissed the idea of death. “Birth and death are only notions,” he wrote in his book “No Death, No Fear.” “They are not real.”

He added: “The Buddha taught that there is no birth; there is no death; there is no coming; there is no going; there is no same; there is no different; there is no permanent self; there is no annihilation. We only think there is.”

And he said: “Do not try to find the solution with your thinking mind. Nonthinking is the secret of success. And that is why the time when we are not working, that time can be very productive, if we know how to focus on the moment.”

I was twice at a Vipassana  retreat with the late Rev.  Thich Naht Hanh when he visited Green Gulch Farm Zen Community sometime in the 80s. We sat and talked one on one on several occasions and mostly talking about the fate of the Vietnamese refugees who landed along the East Coast of the Malay Peninsula and particularly those camped at the Island of Bidong off the coast of Terengganu. 

When I rang the 'Big Bell' while there were over 70 people sitting in meditation inside the meditation hall, Thay decided that I be elected as the 'bell master', during the lecture periods where I kept time of 15 mins and ring the bell so everyone with the focus back to their breath, stops their wandering  mind and become present in the moment. It was a form of punishment for ringing the wrong bell at the wrong time during a Vipassan retreat. When I apologized to Thay when having a one on one meeting, he said to not worry too much about what the consequences of my actions would be, but to keep being who I am as I am.

I truly enjoyed the Mindfulness walking trips we often took with the small Vietnamese monk in his saffron robes leading the path from the Green Dragon Zendo area to the Beach at Muir Beach. The sound of flip flops as feet moved over wet muddy path was the only sound that filled the air and one feels like  we were truly in Buddha land. His teaching were simple and his insight into spiritual matters reaches far deep into the essence of what is Engaged/Active Buddhism. Thich Naht Hahn embodied the Bodhisatva virtue of the infinite wisdom and compassion, that of Mnajushri and Avalokiteshvara Bodhisatva,Mahasatva, with the ability to deliver his teachings with skillful means of the Bodhisatva Samanthabadra and he has attained the status of a chakravati

In Buddhism, a chakravarti is the secular counterpart of a buddha. The term applies to temporal as well as spiritual kingship and leadership, particularly in Buddhism and Jainism

#thichnahthanh,#buddhism,#bodhisatva,#vaipassana