Contemplation on Death..

  In light of loosing a teacher or two of my spiritual practice over the years, I have have had my own bouts with impending feeling of death approaching around the corner. Yesterday I spent a good deal of my time alone facing what seemed like a panic attack with death as the main source of aggravation. I tried to fall asleep after taking some painkillers but to no avail and I tried to walk it off as a physical exercise still not effective, then I sat on my bed and meditated and as my mind quieted down but the fearful feeling of death still on my mind, I began to pray to the Lord, Allah (SWT), God, Brahman, Jehovah, Elohim... The Great Spirit, surrendering my heart and soul in the event that I am about the exhale my last breath; I totally surrendered my whole being I said unto His hands for safe keeping. ...Innallilahi, wainnalillahi rajiun...from You I came to You I return, Aamin! What followed, I felt the fear and 'panic attack receding, physical and mental and I found peace as I laid back and fell asleep. after a short while I woke up from my nap felt much better like a nightmare has been lifted from my consciousness.

The body is still up to par with the rhythm of the flow of life, rising and falling with every shifts in the dimensions and energies flowing with the least of obstruction or hindrances. This body of mine has seen many a rough ride as so this mind that have lived through for the past seventy odd years is still getting its mileage in. Although I welcome my physical death, I value every minute and every breath I take like it is my last. I 'd like to expire with grace like the old oak tree that had survived numerous freezing cold winters of Wisconsin. I'like to die with the grace and dignity of the homeless man sleeping under the overpass in a cardboard box. I'd like to die knowingly that the moment of my death is Now! at this moment...I am aware that I am dead. I feel in my heart, that I will die twice in this lifetime and the first one has already taken place, an event that had changed the course my life. The event had involved my Teacher and friend DSennis Junpo Kelly and it took place in the small town of Corte Madeira, in Main County, Ca. The event has been told several times in the past in this Blog, a time in my life when I was on the verge of ending up as a homeless n the streets of San Francisco. A time when I entered the Zen Buddhist Practice at Green Gulch Farm. On the night of the New Year's Eve sometime in 1983-4, I came to face to face with death, the doctor in Marin County Hospital called it pleurisy.

I fear the unknown more than death itself, like what really happens and how does one cope the whole process of transition from one state or dimension into another, what will my consciousness be like or am I truly;No  More! Gone, gone, gone beyond the concept of the word gone...!! Will it be transmigration from one spirit realm to another as processed by the laws of Karma. Is it heaven or hell according to the religions of the Faith, of Islam or Christianity or Judaism abiding according to the laws of Moses and Jesus and Mohammad from the Lord. The Lord thy God is a Jealous God, have ye no God other then He. The Historical Buddha was not a God but his teachings had made allot of sense to me for my spiritual growth. Has humanity followed His Way even in the most very basic of understanding, we would have seen less suffering in this world of ours. The Four Noble Truth  is of the essence in Buddha's teachings, the Path toward the Liberation of sentient beings from suffering; life is suffering. Know this to be true, accept it as the goal in life to seek the truth of this life and what is the cause of suffering. Why even the most richest most successful and the most spiritually free faces suffering of one nature or other. Hence the historical Buddha who was a Prince by the name of Gautama, took upon himself to unravel this mystery of life, death and rebirth, 

Ignorance is the main cause of suffering, it is the cause of all fears in man for ignorance is a blinder like those placed on a horse pulling a carriage, ignorance keeps the mind imprisoned. Not knowing is one thing, not wanting to know is something else; the truth, the Real, the infinite possibilities, is a whole different matter. The refusal to know what is real and what is the point of beginning of our dual thinking mind that have led us here in this world of Maya, of illusions and delusions; we are trapped within out own self created net or box, the black and white box, the good and bad box, the right and wrong box. Getting out of this box is our jihad in this life, the Buddha Shakyamuni took it upon Himself to walk this Path towards self discovery asking the simple question of .Who Am I? Liberation from this realm of existence is through fully awakening to the answer.The Buddha is said to have said,"Suffering is, none who suffers, Enlightenment is, but none who attain it."