Lao Tzu.

 Am I going insane or am I just slip sliding into the sea of mediocrity at an old age,merely existing till my time is up, at least in this physical form. Am i fulfilling my aspirations, my wishes and desires after all these seventy years almost; or is it all merely an illusion ? Have I squandered my life to being just another entity among billions of entities eating, sleeping and shitting while I am paraded towards my final  resting ground like a heard of cattle headed for the slaughterhouse. Christopher Hitchens is dead and buried after adamantly maintained that there is no such a thing as God, while in Yemen hundreds of thousands have given up their lives in the name of the God they believe. I have my own Jihad to perform and it is in awakening to the Truth of Religion at least one that I feel most spiritually correct. I expect no miracles but surely would welcome any if it helps me to better understand but in essence I cannot declare if there is or there is no God, but my gut feeling says, there is. Gut feelings are the closest feeling one can have towards any unknown, not easily explainable phenomena in life. 

God or whatever you may address it by name,is like the Tao. "The Tao that can be easily explained is not the Tao." Perhaps it would take a little more than our ten percent capability of using our brain, in order to have a better insight into the Nature of the Divine. We have yet to tap into a drop in the ocean of consciousness of our own self understanding; God is the rest of the ocean. I realize that it would take more than human intelligence to crack the nut, it would take more than, having grat insights or consciousness awakenings,   in order that I might catch a glimpse of reality as it is, but I feel int in me that I am not as free a spirit as I think. I have no right to go claiming if there is there is not a God, the Divine is a very personal feeling one can have but cannot be shared. Sharing means you have to justify your feelings and no amount of justification can explain what one feels about God; it is only felt by me. Most religions I find worship the symbol, the Name, the Container, loosing sight of the content, the essence. We make perfect sense preaching but not in practice. 

For as long as my mind is on this subject let me say that the search for God or the Divinity is innate in our human nature as the sciences is more and more revealing that we are a form with a collective consciousness , we may have individual feelings but our thoughts are a part and parcel of the Whole of our species. Hence according to the teachings of the Buddha, ultimately there is no self or as in Islam one achieves 'Fana'... emptiness? Only when one does not exist is God or Allah truly One, not two. In essence it is my understanding that death is the ending of one's material thought of to be a self, I, me mine, this physical form these thoughts and memories these, visions and dreams. Death is the cleansing of the empty mirror that has been what i have come to accept to be me with all its ramifications of such an acceptance. Cleaning my lenses is my way of self purification or spiritual purification while still in this material or physical realm of existence. I am an entity, walking along this path along with my fellow man, I am a soul among souls, breathing in and out, we walk fully conscious of who or what or where we are at this juncture in our lives.

"A Man who justifies, does not convince, not even to himself!"
Lao Tzu.