The Heart is a Lonely Hunter – 3/4/2008
Walking the Long Road with Grace.
Being without a car is a pain in the butt. What’s more frustrating is that there's still so much to be done in preparation for my upcoming shows. This morning, my cousin Ahmad Kalam dropped me off at the Penang Library, and by noon I managed to install all my works for the continuation of my one-man exhibition there.
I had set up my smaller prints and watercolors a few weeks ago, but last Sunday I had to borrow them temporarily for the Little Penang Street Market event. Fortunately, I managed to sell four pieces to my friend Lee Kai, who owns the Alpha Utara Gallery here in Penang. That sale brought a huge sigh of relief—at least next month’s budget is covered, including rent and the car payment.
I’ve been trying to minimize my basic needs as much as I can, although I’m still not great at saving—especially when it comes to food for my children. I remember my mother’s advice: “It’s alright to spend money on food. If you can afford it, eat well.”
But yes, my car is still at the mercy of Chinese mechanics and the insurance adjusters. I’m suffering while they wheel and deal over how much they can make from my misery. Damn them. Don’t ever get into an accident in this country—you’ll be picked apart like carrion while the vultures feast.
This is just me letting off some steam, because I’m not looking forward to walking from Scotland Road all the way to the closest bus stand, probably somewhere near Dato’ Kramat. I could call my cousin Md. Kalam again to pick me up—but I hate being a burden, even though he’s never said no.
I’m tired.
Yesterday brought a pleasant surprise. My daughter gave me a book on Sufi healing by Shaykh Hakim Moinuddin Chishti—a gift, she told me, from a friend of mine. This friend is a deeply religious man, always dressed in the white garb of a pious Muslim, his forehead marked with the callouses of prayer. He is far from an extremist, and I always enjoy our conversations on Islam. His lectures are thoughtful and enlightening, often reminding me of things I already know but need to hear again.
Strange how such well-learned and enthusiastic characters appear out of the blue—just when you need them most.
I’d like to share a passage from the book I’m currently reading. It’s the final khutbah (sermon) of Hazrat Khwaja Mu’inuddin Chishti, delivered a month before he passed away:
"Love all and hate none.
Mere talk of peace will avail you naught.
Mere talk of God and religion will not take you far.
Bring out all the latent powers of your being
and reveal the full magnificence of your immortal self.Be surcharged with peace and joy,
and scatter them wherever you are and wherever you go.
Be a blazing fire of truth,
a beauteous blossom of love,
and a soothing balm of peace.With your spiritual light, dispel the darkness of ignorance;
dissolve the clouds of discord and war,
and spread goodwill, peace, and harmony among people.Never seek any help, charity, or favors from anybody except God.
Never go to the courts of kings.
But never refuse to bless and help the needy and the poor,
the widow and the orphan, if they come to your door.This is your mission—to serve the people.
Carry it out dutifully and courageously,
so that I, as your Pir-o-Murshid,
may not be ashamed of any shortcomings on your part
before the Almighty God and our holy predecessors in the Sufi order
on the Day of Judgement."
That passage alone is enough to soften the soul and lighten the burden—even if only for a while.
#TheHeartIsALonelyHunter #ArtistLife #PenangArtScene #SurvivalThroughArt #SufiHealing #MuinuddinChishti #SpiritualGuidance #DailyStruggles #SoloExhibition #LittlePenangMarket #FaithInHardTimes #MalaysiaDiary #SoulfulReflections #GraceInUnexpectedPlaces #WalkingWithPurpose #BeingAnArtist
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