A Stake in the Chest

 

                                   I Love to Walk! Into the wild of Ulu Terengganu in the 60s.

---

A Stake in the Chest

—from the Kapas Memoirs

It was just a short walk to the cinema—barely fifteen minutes under the soft blaze of the late afternoon sun—but by the time we reached the mall, I felt as if a stake had been driven into my chest.

Not metaphorically. Not poetically.
Literally.
A sharp, dragging pain, like something deep within me, was struggling to keep pace with the outside world.

I didn’t tell my children right away. I didn’t want to dampen the lightness of our day. We were going to watch the latest Jurassic Park—a simple pleasure, a rare outing, and I still cherish every moment I get to share with them.

But somewhere between the cool hush of the theater and the thunder of dinosaurs on the screen, I realized I had entered another threshold of being. My body was trying to tell me something. Something sacred. Something final, perhaps—but not necessarily in a fearful way.

---

Listening to the Heart

I’ve suspected for some time now that what I’m experiencing is angina. The heat aggravates it. So does any sudden exertion. But in stillness—in the cool dim corners of the house, or during zikir when the breath slows and the soul rises—I feel the pain dissolve like a mist.

I’ve taken the steps.
Blood tests. Diet. Meditation.
Garlic in almost every meal. Tuna sandwiches when I remember to eat. Water laced with lemon slices, drunk slowly like medicine. I avoid the worst heat of the day. I sit more. I listen more. I give thanks more often.

Perhaps this is what the heart truly needs: not just medicine, but meaning.

---

A Slower Rhythm

I used to walk for miles without thinking. In the Andes. In Alaska. In Penang. Along the muddy banks of Terengganu.

Now I measure my walks not in distance, but in breath.
And perhaps that’s alright.

Perhaps this slowing down is not defeat, but invitation—a shift from doing to being.
The heart says:
Carry less. Breathe deeper. Trust more.

---

A Message for the Reader

I share this not for sympathy, but as a reminder—maybe to myself, maybe to you.

Don’t wait until your body whispers in pain. Don’t ignore the signals.
Hydrate. Rest. Say no to stress. Eat mindfully.
Sit with your breath. Let silence speak.

The heart may ache, but it still loves.
And as long as it loves, we must listen.

#HeartHealth #AgingGracefully #MindfulLiving #SpiritualHealing #AnginaAwareness #ZikirAndStillness #SacredBody #ListeningToTheBody #HealingWithNature #KapasMemoirs #GratitudeInPain #SlowDownLiveDeeply