The Woman, the Fish, and the Basin
— A True Account of Spiritual Initiation and Return
It began with a circle.
I was still a teenager in Terengganu, a student of Silat Seni Gayung Malaysia, seated in the center of a quiet bedroom while the television hummed from the adjacent room. My teacher, Tengku Azmel, a wise man and state religious director, held my hand. Around us sat ten others in silence. The peturun — the initiation — was about to begin.
After reciting verses from the Qur’an — Al-Fatihah, Surah Al-Ikhlas, and salawat upon the Prophet, I was told to quiet my mind. My teacher began to stroke my arm gently while whispering under his breath. Then, slowly, the others began tapping the tiled floor with their palms. A rhythm. A pulse. A gathering wave.
The sound grew louder, the circle drew tighter. And then —
SNAP.
A piercing static overtook everything. No more drumming. No more television. Only silence.
And darkness.
There was no floor beneath me. No gravity.
I floated — or was suspended — in a vast emptiness.
My neck stiffened. My head shook violently, left to right. I couldn’t stop it. My arms stretched out involuntarily, as though pulled by unseen hands. My body moved on its own, like a current passing through me.
Then, a voice:
"Assalamu’alaikum... Who is this?"
And I answered:
"I am Hasbol."
A name I had never spoken before. A name I’ve never shared with anyone — until now.
The Return
As the energy settled, the shaking subsided.
I saw her.
An elderly woman dressed in white, walking up from the beach, holding — no, almost dragging — two large fish, like ikan terubuk. She reminded me of my grandmother. She didn’t speak. She simply came, carrying the ocean’s gift.
Then I asked for water.
I heard someone whisper:
"How are we going to get him water?"
And in that moment, I saw it — a blue plastic basin, tucked behind a door.
I told the group.
They found it, filled it, and brought it to me. I washed myself.
And just like that —
I was myself again.
But something had changed.
The name Hasbol lingered. Out of curiosity, I Googled it recently, not expecting anything. But I found this:
“Cheerful and bright, a person of action and communication… Curious, intuitive, diplomatic. Creative and drawn to connection… A soul born for exchange and discovery.”
It felt like a mirror held up to my life.
Was it a spirit? A forgotten name? A deeper self I had yet to know?
I don’t claim to understand. I only know what I've lived.
And that night, my body shook, my soul spoke, and an old woman brought fish from the sea.
#Peturun #SilatGayung #Subud #KundaliniAwakening #SpiritualInitiation #Hasbol #MalayMysticism #AncestralVisions #TheWomanInWhite #InnerJourney #TrueStory #RitualHealing #IkanTerubuk #SpineRemembers #TheReturn
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