June 12, 2025 – Of Intuition, Insight, and Siratulrahim

 

                                         We are just weeds growing out of a borrowed space.

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June 12, 2025 – Of Intuition, Insight, and Siratulrahim

I found out yesterday that my twin brother is coming to Penang at the end of this month. He had called me the day before, but I only discovered it later. Despite the complicated feelings I've carried about our relationship, I decided to call him back. Something inside nudged me—a quiet voice beyond logic. I acted on it.

To my surprise, we had a beautiful conversation. Beneath the weight of past misunderstandings and long-standing emotional distance, I still felt compassion. I still held the respect of a brother. The call felt right. Meaningful. Timed.

I began to reflect: maybe the delay in my trip to Kapas had a reason after all. Maybe this unexpected reconnection was part of that unfolding purpose. 

                                  We may not walk the same path, but we came from the same womb

Was this intuition, or was it insight?

I now believe it was both.

The decision to make the call, despite lingering tension, came from intuition, that subtle nudge from deep within. The understanding afterwards, that the timing of it all was divinely orchestrated, was insight.

Later, my daughter, sharp as always, offered an honest reflection.
She reminded me that I often try to cut things off too cleanly when relationships turn toxic. And perhaps, she said, my discomfort with settling in Kapas is really about my twin brother, because it’s his neighborhood.
I almost agreed with her.

But I also noticed something inside me resisting that final cut. I hadn’t voiced it, not to her, not even to myself in full clarity.
That hesitance was not fear.
It was faith.

In Islam, siratulrahim—the sacred ties of kinship—is not something to discard lightly. Even when wounded, the bond between siblings remains a thread of divine fabric. It doesn’t mean we must suffer each other’s company or let history repeat itself. But it does mean we hold space for healing, for compassion, even from a distance.

The irony of it all—that my dream retreat on Pulau Kapas lies in his territory—doesn’t feel like a trap anymore.
Maybe it’s a test.
A test of clarity, forgiveness, and strength.

Perhaps the real retreat is not just in the waves of Kapas, but in finding peace within myself, even when old shadows reappear.

The heart whispers:

You don’t have to cut the cord to keep your balance.
You only need to find your center.

                                                We were here before time and will be here after.

 

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