There is enough thought formations, projections, dreams and imaginations that I am feeding myself from the YouTube and the rest of the Internet aps. that I do not feel my own thoughts anymore, what or who am I? How did I got into this mess? After 75 years of living and breathing i am still at a lost as to what i am talking about, All I have come to know on this day of my Birthdate is that I am still like a lost child feeling scared of what lies ahead and not know where to escape; karma is chasing me like a shadow. One slip of my emotion or my lapse in consciousness and I am liable to find myself in a sinkhole that just appeared beneath me. I am walking on thin ice and slippery slopes, and I am like a rogue elephant rampaging through the same forest year in year out for the past 75 years, and what glorious years some of it were. It is my Birthday today and there were two of us struggling to leave our mother's womb first and I must have gave in as my twin Brother beat it to me and thus I was born number seven, the youngest in the family.
The Captain had the nasty habit of scratching his nuts in public, rumor had it.
I attended Francis Light primary School from standard one to six and hated most my time in school but it was also a time of immense challenge for me to have to make many choices and to begin with I was adopted at birth and was raised twelve years of my life as a Buddhist. I attended the Pali classes every weekend of those years at the Mahindrama Buddhist Temple here in Georgetown located off Air Itam road at Kampar Road. This is one of the oldest Hinayana Buddhist Sri Lankan Temple in South East Asia. My grand father was commissioned to paint the inner and outer facade of the temple walls and ceilings depicting the life of Shakyamuni Buddha. In the main hall lies a twenty feet long Sleeping Buddha looked down upon by the Sitting Buddha equally huge, at least for me when I was four of vie years old. I sat there mesmerized by it all and yet i overcome the childish fears by reminding myself that my grandfather had a hand in creating this illusion, I felt at home after a while just as i felt at home sitting in the mosque back then.
When I look at this picture i took at the fire site of my cousin sister's apartment in KL, it reminds me not to be too sure of of myself when it comes to trying to unravel the mysteries of life if not existence itself, for even the words of God is not safe from destruction if and when it was time. My cousin has passed away and may she find peace, Insha'Allah and we called her Non short from Norliah. What I am reminded of is, "The Impermanence," of it all, one of the causes of suffering as the Buddha taught. Most of us live in denial of this fact assuming that we live forever if we can attain to the level of an Atma Brahman, the Infinite Complete and perfect embodiment of a Spiritual Being.; we are not and far from it we are living in pure ignorance and accepting our fate as though it belongs to us; we are dream walkers a very few of us are awaken in one cycle of our existence, this why a truly awakened Buddha is a rare specie these day and age.
A Piece I did while living in Dubai. It was for a friend's living room and consisted of twelve? small canvasses hung together from the ceiling. The use of small canvasses was to make it easy for the owner to take it with him when he moves. I thought it was a clever idea back then as most of the people I knew in Dubai were Pilots and they moved around more so than most and they had money to splurge.
Oh Well what can I say! Every dog has its day?
Over the seventy five years there were times when the life of pain and suffering seemed just another illusion, there is no pain nor pleasure as there is only pain or pleasure, you are it. If you can dwell in both pain and pleasure in a single moment, you are free from pain and pleasure, this is how you turn and transform your karma from negative into positive from minus into plus. Karma has its claws in you when you are attached to your thoughts and ideas dreams and fantasies to be real. This is known among the awakened as creating karma to remove karma. If you have lost me, don't worry i am not sure of what I am trying to understand here myself. This is what happens when I need to empty the cache of accumulated irrelevant mental formations, I am an addict to information good and bad and I spend hours watching You Tube and Facebook while listening to Maher Zain sing about the Al Quran.
It is my birthday after all why not? I can dream if I want to and I can project what I want to and when I want to...I feel i have earned the rites of passage somewhere along the road of my life. "Insha'Allah, Insha'Allah, Insha'Allah... I will find my Way... " to the tune of Maher Zain's song.
A family that watched the Hockey game together ...Happy Birthday Dad!
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