Mantras poojas, or Buddhist chants at a Zen Temple try listening to the verses from the Quran too. It might not make you a Muslim, but it might open your senses towards a whole new dimension of what is out there or in here . An awesome voice of the Muezzin as he calls out to the universe to perform the obligation to the All Mighty of your daily solat can move your being in more than one way; it touches the deepest part of your heart, your soul. Or it can just be an obnoxious noise especially the fajr call shakes you out of bed every morning at the wee hours; it depends on who is listening off course. In Penang where there is more non Muslims that Muslims living in close quarters, one wonders what the other feels about it.
I am just sharing my latest indulgent into my spiritual practice which is the discovery of a true moment of prayer and being in touch with your divine nature, or your original state of being before all is; who am I before my parents conceived me. Of late my journey has led me a full circle; I am a Muslim and will do all i can to become worthy as one. For most of my life i have doubts and i was driven by anger to refuse God, but I started my search for Him through living my life to the fullest in all its sense sometimes without fear or shame for no apparent reason but simply out of to drive myself away from my Lord; there is no God, only Allah, No God only Allah. and Mohammad is His messenger. Holding this with true unflinching faith after all said and done, makes you a MUslim...it must come your inner 'self' deep from the inner sanctum of your heart where the Holy of Holies reside; it must come from- You. I whispered this into Karim's ears when he was handed to me after they had cut his umbilical chord and my wife though exhausted had the look of relieve and satisfaction; my wife needed a baby in her life in order for her to go through her healing process as a woman. The birth of our son transformed our lives, we became parents.
Nancy and I made a vow from then on that we live for the children, that their welfare comes first and we would make every effort make it work between us, our lives as individuals with personal dreams and hang ups are over. At least i had kept repeating this mantra to myself all the years married to my wife; you have to keep it together Bahari no matter what, bite the bullets and take the next step forward; raising our two children over the years in San Francisco, where they were both born, then to Sendai, Japan where they enter their preschool years and last in Malaysia where we lost our, Nancy; she died in The US, in a Nursing Home, in Illinois.
I am relating this event or episode in from my past because I enjoy looking back at my past, where i made it and where i failed, where I was serious or when i was stupid. I try to spare the stupidities as it does not serve any purpose other than to brag that I was indeed bad, I don't need to remind myself anymore but i like to share the more charming and positive light of the experiences; turning the negative into positive. I write primarily to help make sense of what was and has been, I enjoy exploring deeper into my mind and its capabilities other than being obnoxious all the time. Yes it all boils down to knowing how my mind functions and how my body reacts, to bring into alignment both mind and body, (Yoga) and how to become absorbed into the Divine through faith alone; that there is no God, only Allah and Muhammad is His messenger.
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