I am making this entry while eating my breakfast of friend
rice and fried fish crackers or fritters, locally known as keropok ikan which
was prepared by Fadliy’d wife, Ayu. No one home or so it seems and so I am left
to my devices I have woken up and performed my Fajr or subuh prayer of two
rakaats or prostrations and whispered to my Lord for my redemptions and my
gratefulness on my second and last sujud or prostration as I was informed
earlier in my life that this is the best time and moment to have a good chat
with The Lord of Mercy. I never miss to ask for forgiveness for my sins of the
past present and future while also expressing my gratitude for having been
blessed with His Infinite Compassion in seeing me through my difficult times as
well as my good times. I also ask for His protection against and taking refuge
from such thing as falling from His grace and incurring His wrath, from my own
egotistical tendencies and His ‘Tests’ of my faith in Him. When I felt like it
was okay to do so time wise, as I was of the understanding that one should not
stretch too long at this posture while in prayer. I would also ask that all my
children wherever they are and in whatever situation they may find themselves in,
that they be in His Guided Mercy.
The dawn prayer is usually followed by a short sitting
meditation or Zazen which often ends up into an inner contemplation of events occurred
the night or day before and sometimes a personal dialogue with my Maker, asking
why and why not. This is followed by about an hours worth of Yoga like
stretching exercises beginning from the seated position and ending with a stand
up to a ‘Suria Namaskar or salutations to the sun, a Hatha Yoga series of
exercises and if I am at home I would work t in front of the mirror with dumbbells
and followed by my bamboo staff. Yes, I do this almost every morning as much as
I could and am not just writing to impress myself or anyone else for that
matter; it helps to start the day.
I was at the hospital yesterday evening during the visiting
hours and found her alone as her two children had left to find a cheap hotel
and also to do their laundry and catch up with some rest. I sat with my niece
and had a good chat while also feeding her the medication and later her dinner.
I spent almost two hours listening and answering her questions about the
mundane stories of my life but I could see that she was happy my being by her
side. She broke down and cried when she mentioned about her youngest daughter
and I felt for her anguish at having to go through such a painful event in her
life; she is 43. She informed me that in the last four days of her being at the
ward five people had passed away and two in the bed next to her; not good!
The only thing that was being done to her it seems was the
drawing of her blood about six times a day until they could not find w here to
draw it from after so many piercing. After prodding an attending nurse we were
told that her CAT scan would be done on the 20th. Of the month which
means that she has to wait for another week before any significant thing would
be carried out as far as her healing is concern. Where do I even begin to scream
at the inefficiency of the manner in which the hospital is managed. Should I begin
with how bad the mosquito infestation is or the inattentiveness of the staff to
the needs of the patients? How about the security guards who are apt to be more
rude and aggressive than their counterparts guarding the bank?
“No you cannot go in ,
the doctor is with the patient now!”
“Yeah? But I am the one who is going to care for the patient
she is my wife, I should know what the doctor has to say, knowing this I can
better care for her. My wife is not going to tell me if she has cancer or very
ill or what is truly wrong with her.”
I cannot start and will refrain from making my comments.
Suffice to say, keep a healthy life and avoid being hospitalized at all cost.
To be contd.
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