I find the healing in writing...

 After many years thanks to Face Book I was able to get in touch with an old friend, a beautiful lady full of vigor and joyfulness to be with. Elyze Stewart was one of the members living at 191 Haight Street, in San Francisco where I met my late wife Nancy who was also a resident there. I was introduced to the small community of residents through my Zen buddy David Carlson who was also staying at the old Georgian apartment building with many rooms on the corner of Octavia and Haight. I was then living on Army Street at the junction of Mission and Army. I was renting a section of a room of what used to be a Sears Roebuck Building that was abandoned and converted into apartments for artists studios. I shared a room with another artist by the name of Rory something can't remember his last name. Together we had show at the place which was part of the San Francisco Open Studio Exhibition. It was in this building that I experienced the Loma Prieta Earthquake of 1998.

San Francisco earthquake of 1989, also called Loma Prieta earthquake, major earthquake that struck the San Francisco Bay Area, California, U.S., on October 17, 1989, and caused 63 deaths, nearly 3,800 injuries, and an estimated $6 billion in property damage. It was the strongest earthquake to hit the area since the San Francisco earthquake of 1906.  

The earthquake significantly damaged the transportation system of the Bay Area. The collapse of the Cypress Street Viaduct (Nimitz Freeway) caused most of the earthquake-related deaths. The San Francisco–Oakland Bay Bridge was also damaged when a span of the top deck collapsed. In the aftermath, all bridges in the area underwent seismic retrofitting to make them more resistant to earthquake

Remarkably, the earthquake struck just before the start of the third game of the 1989 World Series, which was to be played in San Francisco’s Candlestick Park between the two Bay Area baseball teams, the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland Athletics. The disaster’s occurrence during a major live television broadcast meant that news of the earthquake, as well as aerial views provided by the Goodyear blimp, reached a large audience. The baseball championship, which was suspended for 10 days, would come to be known as the “Earthquake Series.”

I had just got home from work where I was working as a produce buyer for a company called Del Tomaso. I was tired and had just plopped myself into bed when I heard loud popping sounds like gunfire coming from around me.I got up as fast I could and headed for the door of my room and as I was about to step out something dropped right in front of me from the ceiling with a loud pop. I looked down and noticed that there was a small fracture in the concrete floor like it was gouged out from a powerful impact and looking up at the ceiling I noticed the pipes hanging from the ceiling were undulating like a snake moving up and down away from where I stood. I realized that the popping sounds were made by the  nail hooks that were holding the pipes up to the ceiling and they were pushed out violently as the pipe bounces up and down. I quickly moved to the main door frame and stood in the doorway and then the it all went dark. Some came and held on to me apologizing for doing so and what we heard was like the sound of a locomotive bearing down towards the building outside and then silence. A child was crying in the room next to mine and phone rang somewhere. The lights came on a few minutes after I heard the lady who was clinging on to me said, "That's my phone!" She took off and returned a few minutes later to tell me that her friend who was in Tokyo, Japan, had called her wondering if she was okay and that a section of the Bay Bridge had collapsed and that the marina was on fire and all these came from the News that the Good Year Blimp was transmitting, The Blimp was covering the Baseball World Series when the quake hit.

Instead of taking my nap I took a walk all the way to 191, Haight Street, taking the Mission Dolores Street just to see how much damage was wrought by the quake and to see how my friends were doing. It was not to bad as far as damages but some cars were still sounding off the alarm making it all seem like all hell had broken loose. I had been visiting my friend David Carlson every chance I had  as he was fun to hang out with and it so happened that it was also his birthday the day before and I took with me one of my Litho prints of a mask of Yamantaka, one of the three Demon Protectors of the Dharma in the Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism to give it to him as a birthday present. It was when I met Nancy who was sitting in the living room looking worn out and down in the dumps. This was how I actually saw her when I first laid my eyes on my later to become wife. I was in need of someone in my life and as I was looking at her I heard my mother's voice in my head saying,"You always look for the beautiful women in the past, here try someone who you consider otherwise and see if you can find the beauty inside of her'.'I say this with all sincerity and truth as i can still see my late wife as when I first decided that I was going to have a relationship with her. It was not love at first sight, it was more of compassion at first intention; I will draw out the beauty from within this woman.

Perhaps it was an egotistical and narcissistic to view a person, but it was how I felt at the time and I have kept this feeling inside of me till now; never shared this with anyone out of my love and respect for my late wife for she turned into an angel and a mother to my children until illness claimed her life prematurely.

 Perhaps she too had perceived me with the same mixed feelings when she first laid her eyes on me, I never did found out, but we were married at the Green Dragon Zen Temple about a year later with her carrying my son inside and delivering him ten days later. The Devil is in the details as mentioned in my earlier posting quoted from the novel ''The Game of Thrones." so I will not delve too much deeper into what my relationship was like with my late wife and I would consider it water under the bridge. All I need to say is that I loved her and that I feel that I had succeeded in bringing out of her the inner beauty that I felt was trapped within as when we first met at 191, Haight Street, in San Francisco.

Even though it is considered counter productive to keep looking back at one's past according to most spiritual schools, I still find it to be a catharsis toward the healing and liberating of my splintered soul. In writing all I can record of my past especially in my relationships with others, I find solace and peace in knowing that I was only human and was never perfect, but I did my best to be present and fully committed at whatever situation I was in. I was and still am aware of my imperfections, my weaknesses and my errors as a man, However I had lived to the best of my ability a productive life. Through my reflections of what has been or could have, I find no regrets albeit for the better or worse as I in my old old age have learned that it was all charted as my destiny, my path, my consciousness that have manifested along the way to get me here, where I am. So, instead of feeling sorry and regretful, instead pf feeling remorse, I have turned it all, good and bad, right and wrong as ' grist for the mill, my compost pile out of which I grow new and wholesome thoughts and feelings about who I am. If I am asked why I spend so much of my time writing about my self, this would be one of if not the answer. #lomaprietaearthquake #1989worldseries #earthquakeseries # 

The purpose of my life as it is...

"There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine, like children do. It is not in just some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears our presence automatically liberates others." ...from the movie  Coach Carter.

I see the same world as you do, but not the same way. I do not see the world as separate from me, I am the world and it is me, nothing is separate from me and I am not separated from anything. Being as such I fear nothing as everything that happens to me is my own manifestation of what is or is not. It is only when I see this life as separate from me that I see fear and suffering, I see right and wrong, success and failures. Hence I keep reminding myself the fact that I am present in the moment in time and space at one with the whole and the whole at one within me. I am not claiming to be able to accomplish this every minute of the day or even every day of the week and sometimes I forget and l lose myself for such a long period in time that I find it hard to even remember who I truly am. Then I find myself drifting, lost in the illusion of space and time, often spending my time looking for my way back home. In most of my dreams the same scenario keeps repeating itself, I find myself looking for my way back home and in most I never did and I find myself waking up feeling like I am still lost or on the way somewhere trying to get home.

These dreams become so regular and it still does so much so that I learned something from it in order not to be too absorbed into frustration and despair by enjoying the journey of being lost itself instead of being worried about getting home. I find myself in all kinds of new environment and sometimes familiar ones with familiar faces and sometimes I would that dejavu feeling of I have been in this scene before and I wondered how I would find my way home from this scenario. No matter the outcome,I would wake up often in pain in my chest from either my high blood pressure or gastric attack . This is usually the result of the exertion that I had in running the gauntlet to get home, not running to escape from anything in particular but simply just to get home. Perhaps because I have no place to truly call my home in life is why I never find my way home or perhaps because I never truly come to a complete acceptance of my believe and faith in any one God or religion, or perhaps it is just because I enjoy the journey so much that I do not wish it to end just yet no matter how tedious or monotonous, painful or exuberant it may seem to be; my mind loves to explore.  

I woke up from my latest dream which happened just before I sat to make this post telling a close friend of mine in the dream that, "I want to go home!," and the dream ended with the same routine of me finding my way home and waking up with a chest pain and aches all over. So I did what I normally would do I sat in meditation controlling my breath and moving my energy to where it is needed. I have somewhat mastered these situations to a stage where the pains would subside almost immediately as soon as I start to breath more consciously paying attention towards where the pains were most  intense. which usually would be in the center of my chest just above the abdomen or the solar plexus area and the back of the neck just below my skull. I visualize releasing the blocked energies around these areas by gently breathing onto them until they are totally relaxed and the blood flowing smoothly and with it the pains gone. I realie too that taking a pill or two of Panadol and drinking a good amount of Maylox or Gaviscon would have solved the problem just as well, well to each his own, I am a drug addict of the different kind if I wish to indulge myself every now and then. Everything is in moderation as they say and the more natural the healing power is the more sustainable and longer the impact would last. It is through my mind that I heal my body or at least maintain it and keep it in order.  The five basic elements kept pretty much in good balance and the supply of energy producing food is well regulated and the waste  product kept a close eye on. 

My simple self developed rules in keeping body and mind in good shape has got me thus far although I have often professed that I am neither the mind nor the body, these are still my tools, my instruments, my mode of expression and transportation while in this realm of existence and thus I keep them in good form as best I can. It is in this form of mind and body that I intend to liberate my soul from the bonds of suffering and ignorance; this is my goal my mission in life. As it is I have wasted much of my time in being dependent upon the external stimulation and attachments neglecting to search deeper within for answers to the mysteries of life, death and rebirth, or afterlife as the case may be. Questions of fear and attachments, pain and pleasure, wisdom and ignorance, these are the unanswered issues that needs to still be dealt with and realized not just understood intellectually but manifested in my daily activities, in my relationship and in my spiritual growth. How far or how near am I from being liberated from the bonds of this Mayavic existence?

In order for the light within me to shine forth I have to become enlightened. This Blog kept for many years of my journey towards attaining the enlightenment of the Buddha, Sages and the Patriarchs/Matriarchs is my way of sharing with the world of what it takes to become a beacon for those lost in darkness. 

#enlightenment #buddha, #liberation #lifedeathrebirth

    

Rambling on.....

A young man announced on fb that he is ready to commit suicide, end it all as life has become too strenuous and over burdening for him. He lost his job one after another and suffers from displaced disc on his lower back which causes him constant pain. He once worked with my son and daughter, Karim and Marissa and we have met a few times. He is an intelligent and hard working young man We are indeed facing a pandemic and its is not only the virus that will bring us to our knees but the manner in which we as a collective whole manage to bring this pandemic under control is taking its toll as well. It is never certain for how long we will have to endure the pandemic and it will take a great amount perseverance and patience that we do not over react or succumb to pressures into committing foolish acts upon ourselves that would bring only regret and more suffering to ourselves as well as to others especially our loved ones. Humanity holds its strength in unity, in collective spirit, and in our collective consciousness. However most of humanity are oblivious to these nature inherent within us and more often than not most of us become victims to segregation and divisiveness through the exploitation by those in power. We have become food and fodder for the ruling minority who through our human history has made their intention to keep us being divided and thus conquered.

I feel sorry if not fear for the younger generation of my society, my country for  see only uncertainty and turmoil that lies ahead in the wake of this pandemic and it is in my opinion what is truly being intended to happen by those who had set these events in motion. Yes, I strongly believe that what is being unleashed into the human population is not a natural occurring event,m it was a premeditated scheme that perhaps had gone awry and out of control. The culprits are hiding their heads in the sand in the meantime while world is being set ablaze and human suffering is taking its toll like an aftermath of a tsunami. There is little of what can be done to stop this lava flow of a killer virus from making its way through every nook and cranny of this planet to wherever humans are found and contacts are made, for over time contacts is bound to happen as the virus is never going to disappear and as time wears on it seems further mutations are happening for the virus to become more rampant and virile. Man is facing his own self created nightmare in the form of an unseen  killer enemy and as such he cannot anyone or party to blame except himself. Is this the legacy that this generation will leave behind for those yet to come?

So how does one face all these crap shooting out from every hole in the ground and from the skies, we don't have to. We are free from all these if we know who we truly are and that it is in our nature to be able to just wade through all these mug and grime without getting our feet wet. We are by nature not even here in essence we are merely projecting what our minds are manifesting from all the crap that we are being exposed and fed with throughout our life here on this planet; we believe what we see, eat and shit. We assume everything that is happening to us to be real and that we are suffering on account of us being exposed to them. Depending on the level of your understanding of the nature of your consciousness, of which most of humanity are oblivious to, we are not affected by the exposure to what is from out there so much as the fact that we are attached to them. Our mind is such that whatever transpires before us is accepted to be undeniably real. However for those whose mind is awakened from this deep state of sleep, it is clear that we are not touched by nor affected in any way by what goes on around us if we chose not to allow it to be so. We are more like a lotus leaf or the leaf of the elephant ears, where the raindrops slides off the surface of our skin without soaking it wet.  In one of His sayings the Buddha is said to have said, " Live life as though you are plucking a lotus without wetting your fingers." I am and always will be a witness, a watcher, living on the fringe of life whether I am aware of this or not, I have always felt this separateness between who I truly am and what is before me. I am even not my body, nor am I this mind that is putting forth these thoughts. In moments of my total wakefulness or awakening, I realized I am formless and have no beginning or an end, that I am undoubtedly completely whole and unchanged. Yes, it mayseem far out to most who have not felt these feelings in their whole span of so called living, but to those who has touched or being touched by a moment of spiritual awakening, for lack of better words, it is never the same.

During my two years having spent at the Zen Buddhist monastery in California I had experienced a few moments that was not easily put in words to make any sense out of, I seldom talk of them at least not openly for I feel it sounds even ridiculous even for me to swallow. But experienced them I did and often there was at lest one person there to bear witness to what was happening. Hence , if I were to see a one thousand petaled white lotus flower were to manifest itself out of a rack of white China bowls that I had just complete washing, it is of no surprise to me except t bow in reverence and acknowledge the divine within me manifesting itself. If i had witness a night of darkness turned into a flood of light emerging like that of a full moon all around me at the edge of a forest, it did not stir any fear in me but simply a sense of awe and wonder and perform I performed my salutations to the Divine within me for emerging at the moment when I was on the verge of giving in to fear and fright. This is the firs time I am exposing my personal spiritual experiences and am still feeling not right about it, awkward maybe, but it is as good a time as any seeing that the demons are having a field day bamboozling the unwary and the simple minded. Nothing special, just lessons and how I authenticate them to myself.

   

       

There's time to be planting and time to be reaping...

 It is time for lessons to be learned and the few basic principles of life to be awakened to, there's always blessings to be grateful for and remembering this is the most fundamental of all principles; just being thankful to be alive and well is a good place to start. Then there is the sense of compassion, empathy or even just simple caring towards all sentient beings on the face of this planet no matter what size shape or color, to share Loving Kindness as our primary approach to every being; this simply means, there is no hatred. Having a charitable heart is paramount to each and everyone of us if we are to consider ourselves as human beings created in the image of The Maker. A charitable heart would mean that there is no coveting, no hoarding, no possessing of what is not rightfully ours, in short, no greed.  The Pandemic has afford most of us to reflect, to rehash, reevaluate, and reconcile in some cases with who we take ourselves to be. Having lived life for the past seventy odd years staying well within the comfort zone and in keeping with the herd mentality, thinking within the confines of what is considered to be rational to the norm, having to abide by the pandemic guidelines such as lock downs and social distancing, has brought to surface some new perspectives as to what I am all about, and what humans are capable of.

Our so called normal habits is now being turned topsy turvy, our sleeping hours has been rearranged, we even eat at different times and home cooked food is becoming a rarity cause there is a delivery service for just anything you want under the sun. Life as we know it will never be the same anymore for most of us and this is what the COVID19 pandemic has wrought upon humanity going on two years now. Our personal relationships has been put on hold as we are forced to observe social distancing and our joy of travelling and exploring is curtailed due to no border crossings and so what are we to do? I have chosen to continue on doing what I have been dong and that is looking less and less out there and going deeper into myself, it seems like the best opportunity has been presented for those who are on the journey of self discovery. I do my house chores as best i can and with better aptitude and much more awareness, even singing while doing the dishes instead of swearing at my kids for not cleaning up after themselves like I use to. Do the laundry and so on without any negative thoughts or complaints, work on an acrylic painting off and on, keep writing this Blog no matter if it is read by anyone or not; the point is to keep on doing for no apparent reason or excuse and most importantly to do it whole heartedly.

This is one form of practice in the effort to bring the mind to a more focused and less scattered state. The monkey mind as it is called is never tired of imposing itself upon you with stories of the past, present and future so much so that you find no room for you to think of what you need to think of. Like if you are an artist you will not find any inspiration to create anything that is original, coming out of your inner nature. It becomes a struggle to create anything out of the ordinary as the moment you hold the brush thoughts will flood your consciousness from out of nowhere and harass you from being spontaneous or fluid in your expression, This is where one puts practice into motion by reverting back to the saying stop!, if one remembers, or chant a verse or two besieging the power that be to intervene. Yes, there are times when the monkey mind has so much hold on you that you may need to call on your Maker to help you out and do it you have to. Personally I find that I keep forgetting how useless I am when my mind gets the better of me with thoughts and memories and especially thoughts of self aggrandizement and narc ism, when I do something a little out of the ordinary and the ego inflates. I would drift off from my immediate attention to what I am doing and loose the sense of freedom and fluidity that I had found. Under normal circumstances I would naturally lose my composure or even get annoyed or angry and give in to even being destructive than creative. When this happens I can see how my works would take a dive for the worse, like my painting would become dark and chaotic, or meaningless; dead.

Sometime in the late eighties while living in San Francisco I was working at a facility where Underground Fuel Tanks were brought in from all over the Western seaboard of the United States to be disposed off when their warranty expired. These tanks that were at one time used for the storage of all kinds of fuel, from petroleum products to farm products and various other chemicals varied in sizes. They were as large as 38 thousand gallons fuel tanks to a one hundred gallon steel drums. The whole purpose of the operation was to cut them open and clean the insides of sludge and rust before disposing them off to a recycling facility. I was in charge of the whole operation, I was the 'Yard Boss' as they called me and my job was to make sure that no one gets killed while cutting up a 12 thousand or 20 thousand gallon fuel tank that used to contain unleaded fuel that was dug out of a gas station somewhere in town. These steel tanks would have about a quarter of an inch thick plates on average depending on the sizes of the tanks and in order to clean up the insides they will have to be cut open using an acetylene torch. For safety's purposes the tanks were steamed to purge the insides of any residue of fuel or gasses and this would take an average of two to three house of running super hot steam through the tanks until no flammable fuel residue was detected. This would be finally confirm by a 'flame test' whereby the flame from the cutting torch is introduced to the steam exiting from the tank. If the tank is free of any flammable gas there would be no flame exiting from the tank hole where the steam was emitted and if there be flame shooting out with the steam, the tank was still 'hot', not ready to be cut, more steaming time was needed. Needles to say, Underground Tank cutting and disposal is a very dangerous job and demands strict attention to safety regulations.

Now the reason I am telling this episode in my life is because I enjoyed cutting the tanks even though it was my job to do so and we had a tank cutter whose job it was simply to do this. However I was very intrigued by the process whereby an acetylene torch with a handle three feet in length was used to cut a three quarter inch steel plate posted too much of a challenge for me not to take it on myself. The first instant the flame from the torch penetrates the steel plate which is about three feet from you is the most crucial as it could mean life and death; the flame could ignite any remaining residue of fuel or gas trapped inside the tank and the tank could blow up. It is like lighting a fuse to a dynamite only there is no fuse in this case. This danger was not what attracted me as crazy as I was I was not suicidal and I do take calculated risks of and when I felt there was no danger that threatened my life. What fascinated me about the tank cutting was the process itself. I had never handled an acetylene torch before I took on the job, however after learning the basics of it, I was hooked to watching the flame cut through the steel plate through my goggles. It was like watching a molten lava flow as the tip of the flame seared through the quarter inch steel plate like a hot knife through a piece of butter. The trick was to hold your concentration focused at the very point where the flame met the steel. That was the essence of meditation in action.

For almost six years of working at H&H Ship and Environmental Services on the water front of downtown San Francisco I must have cut a few thousand steel tanks of various sizes. Although I had a few close calls I was never seriously hurt and I felt myself alive and in control of what I was doing. On an average I would spend three hours or so non stop cutting up tanks for disposal. I was at the peak of my capability in carrying out my duties as a 'Yard Superintendent', my job title, I was in charge and I felt in charge. While running the yard operations for the number of years the company never had a fatal accident of any kind. One week to the day I was hired as a sweeper to the company a man had died a gruesome death when a six thousand gallon underground fuel tank he was cutting had exploded and sent his body into the air landing 75 yards from where he was standing; I took on his job. I had just been asked to leave the Zen Buddhist monastery at Green Gulch Farm in Marin County, California and the Zen Mind Beginner's Mind of Shunryu Suzuki was still very much a part of me after two years of serious practice ad soul searching. I had been able to put the Zen practice into practical manifestation taking on what was one of the most hazardous if not deadly dangerous job and turned into a profitable business for my employers.

#undergroundfueltanks #h&hshipservices #Zenmindbeginnersmind #shuryusuzukiroshi #greengulchfarm #zencenter

    

    

It is not about the needle...

 Sometimes I feel like my consciousness projects answers to my questions or doubts about what has been bothering me but could not find concrete explanation as to why I have these doubts. I am talking about getting vaccinated for the prevention of the COVID19 virus which everyone is being jubilant about getting the shots on my face book account. It is as though in getting these two shots means one has done one's duty towards the nation and humanity at large and that like them everyone should make every effort to get the same shots soonest possible. In my earlier posting on this matter I might have already mentioned how I went for my appointed time toget the first shot but was decline due to my blood pressure spiking to way above the danger level and so I am supposed to set up for another appointment in two weeks time from the date f my first appointment after getting the proper treatment needed to stabilize my blood pressure. The fact that I was not able to be inoculated the first time triggered a question in my mind even deeper as to the wisdom of getting myself doing so. I have decided since not to pursue this anymore as I had previously bee deciding against it after a whole lot of studying about the efficacy of getting vaccinated for the Corona Virus prevention.

I have listened to, read and discussed with as many sources and people on the issue and personally found that in getting vaccinated today it would really boils down to me being turned into a guinea pig for an experimental drug that is yet to be fully legalized by the USDA no less and the World Health Organization too has yet to fully endorse in black and white over the efficacy of any of the prevail lent drugs being promoted, nor the insurance companies or the medical practitioners associations has put their full confidence into the validity of these drugs. Thanks again to the Internet and the availability of numerous thoughts and discussions both pros and cons, I am able to come to my own conclusion as to where I stand on the matter at present. The worse case scenario that I have come to witness in Malaysia is the fact that government agencies and ministers responsible for making the decisions and passing the laws over the need for vaccination are in the same doubtful state as I am and even worse yet is the fact that these ministers are in cahoot with the manufacturers of these vaccines for their personal financial gains. As there is no check and balance in the Malaysian government today due to the martial law being imposed by the King of the country on advise by the Prime Minister, the cabinet has been put on hold form making any deliberation over matters pertaining to the nation as a whole. Malaysia is still one of the most corrupted nation on earth and sadly enough claiming itself to be a predominantly Muslim country, this is like being slapped in the face for Islam is strict when it comes to usury and corruptions of any kind especially when it involves the nation. The trust level I and perhaps 90% of the people in this country is at its all time lowest and so when a minister or two makes a decision the I should get vaccinated based on their say so, well I would rather be arrested then allowing myself to be taken for a ride.

I will not go into details as to who said what where the wisdom of getting vaccinated or not, however I would seriously advice those who have doubts to keep looking into what is being discussed on the Internet and to do it intelligently and come to your own decision based on what your gut feelings tells you; or off course you can join the herd and get it over with.

A Headline in one of the local News Papers Today:(Malaysiakini)

Man lodges police report over 'empty' Covid-19 vaccine syringe

A Face Book friend messaged;

AstraZeneca shots used in Malaysia, valid for travels to EU countries.

He just had his shots. Not that it would make much difference but I reminded him that he did not have the shots simply cause it would allow him t go to Europe. It is to me about more than just my body, it is not jst a matter of principle either, I feel it to be a matter of simple common sense that involves the other two reasons. At my age travelling to Europe is no more thing to hope for and anywhere else for that matter, The hassle that is involved in taking any trip anywhere today is so ridiculous especially at the airports makes travelling much less to be desired for than it used to be. Now with this added mandatory requirement like the proof that you had your vaccines, overseas travels is well best forgotten for yours truly; I have had enough travels in my days.

#vaccines #astrazeneca #worldhealthorganization #

 

Living in times of Pandemic- Population Control?

"Where the needs of the world and your talents cross, there lies your vocation. "- Aristotle.

David Rockefeller: "We are on the verge of a global transformation.  All we need is the right major crisis."

Bill Maher: "I'm pro-choice, I'm for assisted suicide, I'm for regular suicide, I'm for whatever gets the freeway moving — that's what I'm for.  It's too crowded, the planet is too crowded and we need to promote death."

Prince Philip: "In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."

Mikhail Gorbachev: "The ecological crisis, in short, is the population crisis.  Cut the population by 90% and there aren't enough people left to do a great deal of ecological damage."

Henry A.  Kissinger: "Depopulation should be the highest priority of foreign policy towards the Third World, because the U.S. economy will require large and increasing amounts of minerals from abroad, especially from less developed countries."

George Soros: "I admit that I have always harbored an exaggerated view of self-importance―to put it bluntly, I fancied myself as some kind of god or an economic reformer like Keynes or, even better, a scientist like Einstein."

The above quotes are just to remind me of those who hold sway to the running of this planet, the narcissistic mentality of destruction.

I keep finding myself drifting into melancholic moods and time and again approaching the point of depression and I cannot understand why. I have all that a man at my age could have asked for and then some, food, lodging, computer, watched over by two great kids as I watch over them and every morning waking up to the sounds of cat,birds and the green hills around me, now what more do I need? Yet i get these feelings inside of a sense of sadness that creeps up on me when least expected and rain on my parade on the best of days. However as i keep looking for answers to each and every little detail to this phenomena I am beginning to see the cause and the solution that is needed to heal this malady. Firstly not to take it too seriously, life is not to be tkae too seriously. My past and my future is not to be taken too seriously, the state of the world and humanity at large is not to be taken too seriously; nothing is to be taken as a cancer case. If anything is worth taking with a little seriousness is death, the ultimate goal in life; to die with consciousness, with pride and dignity intact and with the Love of The Lord in my Heart. If i can accomplish this I would consider my life well lived.

I visualize peace and tranquility to be in the image of the back view of a person sitting in meditation facing a rising or setting sun. I see the celar blue empty sky as the vastness of this feeling of peace and tranquility, all encompassing, complete and perfect, not wanting or needing. I hear the hum of the mantra Om within permeating without  like the humming of a generator creating energy that sustains the universe; these are among the perceptions I would have when I sit and visualize what peace and tranquility is. As fleeting and impermanent as these moments of realizations may come and go, I keep trying to prolong them as best I can keeping the intrusion of the thinking mind,(the thinker) into disrupting and upsetting these peaceful and healing moments. 

This morning I received another memes on my messenger from my friend and senior in high school mentioned earlier in my previous post, Adnan Othman and this time it was about Sholat or prayer according the Prophet in the times of a pandemic. I could have avoided this bit of information had I ignored the message till later after I had made my Blog posting but I watched the video and read the message and now am stuck with recollecting my thoughts on the matter. Islam encourages man to pray collectively in congregations and to observe closely the protocols involved in performing these prayers like the Friday prayers. On top of the cleanliness of one's cloths and performing the ablutions before entering the mosque, one is to stand next to fellow worshipers as close as shoulder to shoulder thus leaving no space or gap in between and this called the 'Saf'. In the spiritual sense it is said this is to ensure that 'shaitan', the devil cannot squeeze himself into the space in between two worshipers. Somewhere in the Quran I believe it is reminded that Satan is everywhere in all shapes and forms even in your blood as viruses,perhaps. Its intention is to disrupt and deviate one's consciousness from the worship of God to drifting into the illusory realm of this material existence. I the performance of the sholat one is expected to be in absolute attention and awareness of being in presence before the Lord and this absolute consciousness is what is called Kushuk or absorption, becoming merged into the Lord's Presence, becoming one with God. In essence when one is in prayer one ceases to exist as a personal entity, only the Divine is present until when one gives the final Salam or Peace salutation as an indication of the departing or taking leave from the Presence.

COVID19 social distancing requirement has thrown the Muslim Ummah a curve ball when performing their congregational prayers, especially of Fridays and this is what the video sent by messenger to me was all about. The prophet of Allah had allot to say on this matter and not all are being observed by today's Imams and religious leaders for fear of the law, or of losing their jobs more so than the pandemic.itself. As a matter of fact even Satan does not create a fear among modern day Ulama and Imams than the Pandemic and its fallout effect. I am positive that most of our modern day Ulama are fully aware of the power of collective consciousness and thus why the performance of congregational prayers is made mandatory for Friday Prayers. Being barred from performing this by the government if one were to look from the spiritual is indeed not a wise move. No doubt there will be risks of close proximity and contacts but if the practice of cleanliness as demanded by the religious laws is fully and conscientiously carried out by all, as should be, then the chances are there should be no problem in this issue. However, people are people and not all are as conscientious and the Devil is always in the details as said earlier, anything can happen.

#ulama #imams #satan #allah #quran #pandemic #davidrockefeller #billmaher #princephilip #mikhailgorbachev #henrikissinger  

 

Rambling on...

“The stream of knowledge is heading toward a non-mechanical reality; the universe begins to look more like a great thought than like a great machine. Mind no longer appears to be an accidental intruder into the realm of matter, we ought rather hail it as the creator and governor of the realm of matter. Get over it, and accept the inarguable conclusion. The universe is immaterial-mental and spiritual.” – R.C. Henry, Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Johns Hopkins University , “The Mental Universe” ; Nature 436:29,2005)"

The day I decided to leave my immediate family sometime in 1970 while living and working in Kuala Terengganu, on the East Coast of he Malay Peninsular, was the day I felt I became a man. I felt like i had unburdened myself of a heavy load of family confine, and expectations, not playing by the rules and various other accusations upon my character which I must admit were mostly true. I was a stubborn, headstrong, easy to explode in anger and incorrigible in just about every worse ways. It was a blessing for all when I left my family and returned to Penang where I was born and raised as a child by my uncle who hyad adopted me since my birth. I felt free from all the heavy judgments being imposed upon me by family and friends alike and I felt like I grew wings and took to the skies. Hence began my life of inner and outer exploration inthe human consciousness, like what it is that makes me tick, what is it the allows me to be bullied or to be the bully, what is it about God or no God, what is it about love and sex! 

22 odd years of my life had passed when I arrived in Georgetown Penang sometime in 1971 and soon got a job with Hagemeyer Trading Company, an old Dutch owned firm for import and export of assorted goods from all over the world. I was hired as a prerequisite that the government had impost upon all private companies to do a fair practice of hiring and firing. I was among the two Malays hired as recommended by a friend from my village. The job threw me among the competitive business world of the Chinese where rivalries occurs as a matter of fact even among employees working for the same company. There were mistrust among all the departments which are all run by Chinese and I became a ping pong ball to be thrown around when the going gets tough. But I survived the ordeal for two years more or less until I met and married my wife who was from the United States on a student exchange program. Two months into our relationship and we had a child on the way and so we got married and started a whole new episode in my life as a father at the age of 25. I was a proud father of a beautiful son whose mother was a Westerner, which at the time was quite an special to say the least. 

Life was not easy for us being married and having a child but living in two different parts of the country where my wife had worked in Shah Alam  and I was employed in Georgetown, Penang. My son, Nazri J. Bahari was born at the Asunta Hospital in Shah Alam, Kuala Lumpur sometime in the morning of the 8th. of April and I was not there to be with both mother and child as the birth was premature. The due date was off by two weeks if I am not mistaken and so I was not prepared when I received the call that same morning from the hospital telling me that I was a father of a baby boy. I was working when I received the call and with a mixture of excitement and trepidation I make all haste to travel to KL that same morning. And so loaded with two suitcases full of baby's stuff which my wife had put together in preparation for the event, I set out on my journey for Asunta Hospital.

It just so happened that on the very same day it was a Memorial day for the Chinese to visit the graves of their ancestors and so there was a wgole lot of traveling happening all over the country and which meant that I was stuck with no transportation to get to my destination. The plane, the train, the taxis the buses were all fully booked except for one texi which would only take me up to the town of Ipoh which was half way to KL.I left Penang late in the afternoon and arrived Ipoh sometime in the evening. Left by the roadside in the rain with two suitcase I felt warm tears flowing down my face, I was scared as it was getting dark and all around me was quiet. I stood under  a street light for quite some tie until a car pulled up and asked me where I was headed.  The driver was an Indian gentleman who told me to get in and we set on our way to KL. He was not much of a talker which I was glad but he told me that I would have to put up with his cassette playing a prayer chant to Lord Ganesha which he plays every time he drove long distance he told me it kept him centered. I had no problem as I am used to listening to Hindu prayers as most of my friends at the time were Indians..

We arrived at the Hospital almost twelve hours later after I received the call announcing my son's arrival into this world and when I was led to my wife's room I saw her on the bed with tears popping out of her eyes and a big smile on her face on seeing me. In all my excitement I never even got to properly thank the gentleman who drove me there from out of the blue and till this day I feel a sense of gratitude whenever I see the image of Lord Ganesha, the savior of those in need while on the road and the protector of children, like Saint Christopher. Yes, I believe I was being watched over and assisted by the higher powers in my times of need and I strongly do. Albeit God or the Universe, or Allah or the Tao or the myriads o Chinese and Indian deities, I know and I feel like there is a helper watching over me, to assist me through my difficult times. The trade off is simply that I keep up with my spiritual practice no matter how little or significant it may be, that I do not forget who I truly am. Till this day I often find myself being aided in one way or another especially when I find myself on the verge of despair or giving up hope. 

I find the need for divine help in whatever form, to be more relevant today for us as a specie as we face an ever increasing hardship in our daily lives. Even if our spiritual understanding has lifted us to the highest level of a state of non-duality or absolute consciousness where nothing else really matters as all are a part and parcel of our divinity, at the level of our present realm of existence, I believe we are still interdependent upon each other in order that we may serve and be served if and when needed to be. To the awakened minds this life may be an illusion or even non-existent, but to a Bodhisattva this life is a field of servitude where helping others become free from suffering of any form is the Dharma practice. We call them angels, we call them friendly spirits, we call them deities and some we even call Gods, but by whatever name they are called, these are our spiritual guides and assistants, our Dharma friends and invisible playmates. They need us as much as we need them but it is up to us to be resonant to the inter- connection of this relationship. All I had left while standing in the drizzling rain under the street lamp with two suitcases full of baby stuff on that fateful twilight time in the town of Ipoh, was a prayer and it was answered.   

And Rambling On...

 " The devil is n the details they say,

A book this size has allot of devils, any one of which will bite you if you don't watch..." - Acknowledgement to the novel, " A Game of Thrones" or 'A Song of Ice and Fire' by George R.R. Martin.

"Daenerys Stormborn, daughter of dragons, bride of dragons, mother of dragons...don't you see me..?" The first of the four novel series  came to an end as Daenerys stood in the flames of her husband, the Great Khal Drogo's funeral pyre and later surviving to step out reborn and untouched accompanied by three baby dragons, as the Dragon Queen. I finished reading the novel a few days ago and after having seen the whole series twice back to back, the does justice to the Movie and the movie does a great deal of justice in manifesting the Book. I cannot tell whether having seen the series and then reading the book was better or vice versa. A Game of Thrones is no doubt in my mind rank alongside Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Harry Potter and such similar genre of fictions today. At my age I am blessed to have been present while all these great fictions becomes alive on the cinema screen and the fact that I love to read is more than a blessing. Now I have to wait for my son Karim to place an order for the next one. The novel was bought for him to read but I don't think it is ever going to happen not during this pandemic at least.

As have been warned I will not go into too much details of how I feel about the story as a whole, too many devils, however I will share a little about the power of reading. Reading like art or a dance, is a powerful mode of meditation as it capture your mind into taking a trip of fantasy or otherwise as your interest might choose. For as long as the story runs and your mind is stuck with it you are focused and your mind is not as scattered as it would normally be as when you are simply drifting. The more absorbed you find yourself immersed in the story the more focused is your mind and then you start to identify with a character or two from the tales and this takes your mind to a whole different level of that of visualizations, or taking on an identity that was created by someone else of someone else. To become lost finally into the story as though it was your own story will finally make you realize what the power of reading can do to you; It triggers your imagination and your power to visualize and promotes your creativity; you become one with the illusion created for your entertainment, you become attach with the story, it becomes a reality for you and when you wake up from this created reality you find yourself drifting with no anchor to latch on to and this is your life, my life. Life is an illusion and we live in a world of Maya, the unreal manifested world a product of the collective mind of collective dreams and visions, of collective fears and sorrows, we exist in the realm of a fabricated consciousness. When they say we exist within a matrix, it is not far from the truth, the only way the human consciousness has been able to evolve is towards a collective whole in body mind and spirit and this may not happen in the most ideal way but it will happen one way or another; mankind will evolve into a single entity, the unity of one, the power of One, the single celled amoeba or we will become God.

If 'the devils were to be found in the details,' a story will have no end, 70 odd years is a drop in the bucket where tales are being kept in the human consciousness. What happened today and yesterday and what will happen or is yet to happen it is all contained in the story and can be just another boring episode or a life altering event, it does not matter, it is still a part of the whole story. The question is how willing are you to dive deep into your bucket and draw out the ancient twisted karma of your evolving existence and air them out to be dissolve into the void once and for all. The only way to remove the devils from your system is to send a virus much more potent that can wipe them out of the system. The details are what holds together the whole story if the story is to be real or truthful, genuine and sincere, so the devils has a role to play in any given tale that is told. This is perhaps why most people loves to hear the details of an event or a story as it is the details that devilish acts are found and makes for amore exciting if not intriguing and captivating read. When you are hooked to a story, you live that narative and the more convincing it is for you the more real it becomes; it becomes your reality.

I would like to remind myself sometime the fact that wehn I say 'you' in my writing I alkso mean me, I am addressing myself, it is a converstation I am having with myself, perhaps my mental self, my mind and I; who am I? Beyond the thinker and the story teller, beyond the writer and the artist, the father and the brother...who am I? My stories are one of my path towards self liberation, towards staying wide awake at every mile of my journey from cradle to my grave, my stories helps me to map out my journey towards self understanding and awareness of who I truly Am in the scheme of things in this realm of my existence.; to see the real from the unreal. to transcend beyond fear and ignorance and to become enlightened from the suffering of my existence and while at the same time leave behind some stories on the details of how I got to be here in this moment in time, of the COVID lock down era, with not much to do but tell my stories as it comes to my mind.

If you are reading this then I am telling you my stories and I hope i can keep you  entertained for while, see if we can swap stories about ourselves. Who we are and where we were or where we want to be, how far or how near are we to where it is we want to be. Most importantly, whoever or wherever we want to be, we need to have a good sense of humor about it. Cannot take it too seriously and inflate your ego along the way, a story has to be told straight from the heart where the 'thinker' is not present. When the thinking mind is present the story telling becomes less potent for lack of better words, you cannot think of a story to tell a story' story telling simply happens and it keeps on happening fo as long as you allow your mind to proceed in doing what it loves to do; telling stories. Who is 'the thinker?' You ask. Call him your shadow, your ego or the other side of the moon, you. that is the thinker. He is the choreographer and the producer, why he is the director of this series, he is who you think you are, He,the thinker is your general manager who is wheeling and dealing for you so as to make life more bearable and eventful than it normally would. But the thinker is of the past as thoughts is of the past, thoughts are memories, experiences, dreams and imagination, thoughts are conditioned by time and the thinker is limited by time; it takes time to think. We all carry him around with us, the thinker and perhaps until we come fully understand the significance of having your shadow as your companion I feel it is best to hang on to it as a back up plan. Just learning how it works is a small step towards self realization.

Embracing both Light and Dark I walk the middle path a path that that is neither extreme nor too leisurely, not too tight nor too loose, at least i tryas best I could and not often succeeding in my efforts. Sometimes in moments like this I take deep breath and exhale and remind myself of who I am and who the thinker is and where we stand while in ur Dharma position before Gods and Man alike. I am not the mid nor am I the body, this the ancient has already worked it out and the question they left you with is to find out for yourself your true divine nature or are you willing to be reborn again as a toad. A bit extreme! I know and this is when I turn my senses to "Ecstatic India A Spiritual Journey" on You Tube. This is where East meets West in the Spiritual/ Techno music to stimulate my mind from the devilishness of drifting into details, a change of course, or perception of stepping out of the groove or the rut. I tell myself often to just,Stop! Keep Silence! Freeze! Whenever i remember I would pull my hand brakes and freeze the motion of my vehicle that I often find was drifting  and getting me nowhere. Followed by a few long deep breaths and I am back on the track that I prefer to be an at this moment in time, being ith you as I make this posting.

For the first time in a long time I stood facing the morning sun like i normally do every morning, for the first time I felt how truly grateful that I have been bathed in solar rays and that my very survival depends on it continuing to be present. I felt grateful that on top of supplying vitamin D to my body I am also being showered deep within my heart with the heat of pure energy, I felt the healing process and am eternally grateful to my source of energy the Shams or the Sun, I was born in August and the sun is my solar extension. It has always been my practice to kep my physical form get soaked in the sunshine at least once a day especially in the morning while doing your Chi Gung or TaiChi, your walking meditation or Yoga stretches, just say stop! STOP! and immediately simply step back and notice what happens, holding on to this state of being motionless in words, thoughts and deed what do you find? I have no vision of how Allah or God would look like and really do not even want to entertain it, but for me the times when I attain to this level of silence in my consciousness and before i start to drift off from this state of almost blissfulness, Allah comes to my mind and I would remind myself by reciting Astarghfirrullah or May the Lord forgive me, I remind myself not to fall into the trappings of my ego or my nafs, I am a Muslim and my faith is in the One and only ONE! Then I am no more, only the Divine Presence manifest itself within and without these moments that words only gets in the way in trying to describe.

  

 

  

Rambling on...

"Sometimes Faith will make you look stupid until it starts to rain!" This morning I received two messages one from my young brother Jerry Sule, the Plunbmer of Green Bay, Wisconsin and the other was from an elder brother who was once the Scout Troop Captain of my secondary school which was the Sultan Sulaiman Secondary, School in Kuala Terengganu. He was and still is a Malay and Malaysian Icon singer from his school days where together with a few friends they formed the first Rock Group in the State and his name is Adnan Othman and chances are if you ask any Malay old timers and new ones alike, who this guy is, they would tell you. Adnan likes to send me 'Doa's or Muslim prayers and this morning for the first time it occurred to me to really pray word for words as it was sent and feel it in my heart and this is how I should send my prayers, where all is covered as should be covered. Yes, Sometimes Faith will make you look stupid until it starts to rain...I do not know who quoted this but it posted on facebook first time look at it this morning. With a little bit of faith you might still be able to move that mountain the stands before you.

Jerry Sule was about sixteen or seventeen when I first hung out at his home down in the basement along with two other brothers John and Joe, their parents and sister lives upstairs. Their dad was a computer salesman selling for IBM and this was in the 70s-early 80s in Green Bay, Wisconsin; the Packers Country. The City of Green Bay are the proud owners of their own ball team and Vincent Lombardi and Bart Starr were the icons that were a part of everyone''s consciousness when football times comes around. Jerry Sule when he was about seventeen took a trip with me driving an old Chevy Impala from Green Bay, all the way south to the Southern tip of New Mexico. It was in winter and we left Green Bay with a trunk full f canned food and a two man tent and the idea was to drive all the way south to New Mexico and   into the Arizona and then cut back into Colorado and back to Green Bay, Wisconsin. And now Jerry in his early fifties with a few grand children. We keep in touch over the years through the Messenger and Face Book and chat over who has done what and where in the politics of the US. Jerry is very into politics and sometime it is hard to keep up with his thoughts and ideas. The recent events following the Presidential Election was a nightmare; Jerry is a diehard Republican and worships Donald Trump and Joey his elder brother is a staunch Democrat; I have to keep myself from getting stuck in the middle when there's chats going on between the brothers.

To wake up one morning and entertain two messages from two different characters in you life from two diverse location of east and west and to react to their postings spontaneously takes some mental juggling. It is if you care to indulge yourself in your relationship to others especially those closest to you, then you have the morning cut out for you. You just logged yourself into your computer and telling your stories while posting this Blog. This is how the mind functions when it has found its routine or habit that is most comfortable and safe it wants to indulge. As happens so often surely but slowly it will start to fall asleep while making this happen. The mind gets tired too, just like me, the mind has its limitations and can be brought to be still in silence through dedicate practice and mastery over the mental issues. Stories are told in order for the mind to keep on rambling and  the effort is to keep the ramble with a positive and creative vibe and output that hopefully will be of benefit to those who share in reading this. As for the writer himself it is a matter of justifying my existence in this realm of the Nirmanakaya of Shakyamuni Buddha, the Historical Buddha,; it is yet another Brick in the Wall...which this too shall pass. #greenay #wisconsin #packerscountry #newmexico #arizona

 

Still rambling...

  The life of Jetsun Milarepa is not unlike that of Miyamoto Musahshi, the historically considered to be the greatest samurai swordsman in all of Japan, Where Milarepa had Marpa for his teacher, Miyamoto had Takuan the priest as his.Miyamoto when in his younger days was a rouge of a swords fighter who was hot headed and had killed many due to his rambunctious character both as a youth and as a swordsman. The name Takezo kun struck terror and disgust among the local villagers as he was considered a killer, out of control, beyond reach, over the edge, kind of kid who lost it. Milarepa on the other hand used black magic to wipe out almost an entire wedding party held by his adopted parents his uncle who rbbed him of all and everything and driven his mother and him out of their home eventually, or something like that and this pissed Milarepa off badly. Revenge was in the form of magic, black magic and Milarepa found and practiced this art and upon mastering it called down death upon those who attended the wedding at his former home by his uncle and his family. It was aid that all hell broke loose and the roof came down upon the entire congregation and for this Milarepa had to found himself trapped in a karmic delusion of the worst kind; guilt.

The detail to Miyamoto Musashi's life story is still one of the most popular and well studied character of a warrior poet and artist who found redemption through selfless act as a master swordsman. Musashi was caught and tide up and hung from a big tree for a few days with no food or water. Came rain or shine Musashi hung there like a rag doll. Thus began the education of Miyamoto Musashi at the hands of Zen Master Takuan Osho. Milarepa was not punished as severely as Musashi was at least not immediately, Milarepa was tortured from the day he was accepted as a disciple of Marpa till the day he attained self liberation. Marpa was unmerciful in his effort to heal Milarepa and liberate his mind from being strangled by a sense guilt. Miyamoto Musashi too was put through similar rigorous spiritual exercizes and mental discipline by the monk Takuan Osho,  For more accurate details, if it interests you to enjoy more of these historical characters you may google it or go on You Tube; what a Miracle!

They are stories I picked up along the way throughout my life, at some point I took a great love and interest in the Japanese culture and history especially in the life of the Samurai warriors and theri code of Bushido and their Zen practice in the art of the Swordsman. I have a very high regard for the form and etiquette displayed by the master samurais especially when in audience facing their Lord. This to me is the most clearly manifested Zen practice while in daily life; Zen or meditation in Action. Even though it was just in movies like the series called "The Blind Swordsman" or The last Samurai, or as depicted in many Kurosawa's movies, the Samurai carry with him an air of deadly elegance. A man determined in his action that acts spontaneously  without any single thought in mind for his life was on line. To strike down an opponent without remorse or regret, nor out of anger or maliciousness, is the way of the Sword. As spoken in the Bhagavad Gita, there is no doing or a doer, there is just spontaneous action and similarly to die from a battle means that there is none who is stricken nor one who fell. The warrior's Way was a very noble path that belongs to the Shakya Clan of the Buddha's time and the Historical Buddha was said to be a great warrior himself when he was still a prince living is his father's palace.  

The Way I speak of is what I perceive as a practice a form of Yoga of the mind and body that a person has adopted to be his Way. His way of expression, of caring of sharing of giving of being in a wrath while existing on this plane of existence which the Buddhist cal the Nirmanakaya of Sahkyamuni Buddha. This is the realm of forms and emptiness coexisting, the realm of maya of illusions and of suffering. The Nirmanakaya is also the doorway towards the freedom from this cycle of Life, Death and Rebirth. It is n this human form that one can easily attain to liberation or the state of complete absorption into peace and tranquility. It is through this human form that one stands a great chance of crossing over onto the shore across from where you are, where life is suffering. The Way I understand is,  'No Way' and every which Way that works for each and everyone of us riding on this same train or sinking in the same boat; we are all looking for the Way! Bottom line iti is all about the Way of Survival, the Way to keep your head or mind above matter and water; it is the Middle Way.

Miyamoto Musashi left a legacy that to this day it has been well read and followed by many across the globe, it is called the Book of Five Rings. This is the book of Way of the Warrior, similar to the Art of War by the Chinese master Sun Tzu, The works manifests Musashi's awakened mind after all the years of his journey in seeking a Way for himself. It is a book of a warrior's strategy in facing the challenges in life of while in the heat of the battle and when off. For a warrior it will always be walking the rope or on thin ice and it is paramount that one be in a constant meditative state to sense the dangers from all around you at once, in a battle there is no room to second guess. I know this from my own experience while I was in the martial arts school and later went on to become an instructor when I was in my teenage years. One of the beauty I found in putting on a performance in public was that martial art was a dance movement that follows the similar rhythm of a dance steps, especially like doing the tango.

Then ego got involved and all discipline and commitment down the hatch and martial arts became just another memory in the cause of my life story. Suffice to say that I hold many fond memories of positive and negative events that happened while I was in my martial arts years. I might have written about this earlier can't remember, too many posts over the years and it has become like a broken down record repeating itself while stuck in a rut and cannot move on. But the man said,"The Show must go on!"   .    

 

   

 

And Rambling on in the meantime...

 " No matter how beautiful a song may be, 

It is only a tune to those who do not understand its meaning."

Jetsun Milarepa was a Tibetan Saint who spent his a good many years of his adult life meditating in the numerous caves in the Himalayas; to me he was a Bodhisattva of the personification of Action and Practice, The Bodhisattva Samantha Bhadra, Bodhisattva Maha Satva. In the pantheon of Boddhitsatvas there are three I could be mistaken, sometimes I feel like there are four in all if one includes the Maetreya Bodhisattva. Anyway, there's Manjushri Bodhisattva and then there is Avalokisteshvara Bhodisatva Lord Manjushri is said to be the personification of the Infinite Wisdom, He who knows it all, He who is impeccable in wisdom. Samathabadra Bodhisattva is the personification of Infinite Love and Compassion, She who offers help to all suffering beings who calls out to her, She of a thousand arms to serve humanity out of Pure Compassion, they call Her The Goddess Kuan Yin in China and Kanon in Japan. Milarepa I believe was an incarnation of The Bhodisatva Samantha Bhadra, He who works His butt off in order to serve humanity, He is the Hatha Yogi, He is the workaholic  who helps through work and discipline of strong Practice Mind of Complete Focus and Discriminating Mind in action.He is the Master Printer, the Master Carpenter, the Master Fisherman,,,or Fisher of Men.

These are nore or less of what  understood of the who and the what of the Bodhisattvas in the Northern Budhhist traditions. I am most assured that I am not even close in my knowledge and understanding on the subject but I did do a whole lot of reading of rare Buddhist text while I was practicing at the Tassajara Zen Mountain Center, located somewhere in the wilderness of the Carmel Valley, Big Sur area of Southern California. This is said to be be the best natural hot springs in the area. At night I would spend hours in the library where I found some rare and beautiful works of the Tibetan Buddhism, I was more than fascinated to say the least I was spiritually ecstatic and I submerged myself into Vajrayana Buddhism and this was where I met Jetsun Milarepa and His Teaher Marpa. For those interested in such stories it is today at your fingertip, just google it or browse You Tube and you will get to know this crazy hermit who is a very influencial and revered character in the Tibetan school of Buddhism.

The Song of Milarepa, The trials and tribulation of a mountain hermit, His was an extraordinary life of suffering. redemption and liberation. My knowledge of this Guru of the Ascetics is no more than what I read or viewed on You Tube, however his life story kept me in captivation ever since I first heard the name Milarepa. Why am I writing about this Tbetan Master at this time and age in my life, why not for lack of better thoughts the mind have in store like if you have to think why not think of something worthy to be shared by another; this is another manifestation of the Social Distancing Syndrome. The human mind will be going through a warp drive sooner than later; we will suffer from too much thinking, some a whole lot more than others as we live through this age of information, age of knowing, age of mental perceptions through forms and symbols that we are being bombarded from every form of media at our disposal, our mind is on the course towards self destruction. It sounds doom and gloom, it does not have to be if we learn how to 'Remove the Thinker', as they say. 

Sometime when I feel overly inundated by my monkey and its incessant thoughts, I remember to pray to my Lord and as a Muslim, I would recite Astasghfirullah hil Azim, forgive me O my Lord, You the Oft Forgiving and Most Merciful...AllahU Akhbar! And soon I am back in my own home, my heart, my soul, my Spirit... thoughts are fleeting dreams that I have accumulated like dust while walking these paths towards Your Majesty. I realize how corny it may sound to some, but it is the truth to me as I realize my own sanity depends on accepting this  as my reality in my spiritual quest. Oh by the way while writing this I am listening of my all time favorites, Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here in its original. Many stories could be told of this album, the times and places and people who happen to share these Pink Floyd moments, only they would know what it would feel like to listen to lyrics and make the connections in your own life...So Welcome, welcome to  the Machine!!! 

I was watching a video and this young man with long white hair was giving a sermon all dressed up for the show and he was saying things like why God prohibit from the eating of the fruit of knowledge, a question I too have asked in the past. My take on this matter is to look what has happened to us as a specie and where we are headed for; too much information sucks! And as The Pink would say, The Show Must Go On...are you still with me or have we parted ways for more titillating and mischievous thoughts instead? I am rambling just rambling away my thoughts of the past present and future whichever makes it to the screen as the story of my life goes and keeps on going till the next thought rises and takes control of the narrative.  

#jetsunmilarepa #pinkfloyd #tibetanbuddhism #treeofknowledge #wishyouwerehere #socialdistancingsyndrome

 

Will Malaysia survive COVID19-21?

 As the COVID days drift along and as life gets flipped upside down like turning the earth in your garden for a new growth, I keep a wary look upon how things are faring for those who are trying to stay afloat, to stay alive and not give way to despair; I wish there's things within my power to make a difference for you my loved ones. But miracles are as rare as the rising of the sun in the west or the cats growing horns and God is taking a vacation r so it seems. More and more prayers and words of wisdom are being posted on Face Book to keep the despondent anchored to their sanity and not lose their hopes. Words, mostly empty words plagiarized from ancient texts and long dead philosophers and saints being rehashed to awakened a dying spirit, perhaps it does work on some, but as a whole humanity is becoming disenchanted and the only thing that is keeping the spirits high is the Euro-2021 soccer matches. There aught to be a Soccer God that we can all worship during times like these and yes there already are deities like Cristiano Ronaldo, Mo Salah, the "Egyptian King,' of the Liverpool Team, and a few others. When Ronaldo removed the can of Coke soda from his press conference table it cost the soda company Billions in loss of revenue, now that is what demigods do.

No matter how we look at it, it is not a good prospect for those whose livelihood is self sustained. The small grocery shops, the roadside coffe shops the food stalls and the rest of such similar self operated small businesses are disappearing one by one at least here in my hometown and many of these owners are my friends. Where will it all lead to, it is anybody's guess and rest assured it will not be a positive end. What is happening all over the country is a sense of uncertainty, of no proper understanding or cohesion from which the general public can abide by. The fault sad to say lies in the political state of that the government of today is experiencing. There is practically no sense of leadership in the government and decisions are being made haphazardly without proper deliberation as in the parliament where pros and cons are being debated before a decision is being made. The King has declared a state of emergency for the nation as advice by the prime minister and this thus far has solve nothing if not exacerbates the condition even further. Marshal laws means the parliamentary system is being put on hold and this means there is no check and balances over the decisions being made and the laws being passed, the people are at the mercy of the powers that be. Much can be said on this matter, however suffice to say that saying the wrong things about the state we are in today can land one into unwanted predicament.

The pandemic itself to me is less of a problem than the manner in which the nation is being led to face it and perhaps this is a common factor in most developing countries where the political system s as fragile and and incompetent as ours is. In the meantime the peoples' suffering grows day to day as they run out of their hard earned resources and their future is bleak. No doubt we are all facing a common enemy and there is no sides that can be blamed as the virus knows no caste, color or creed and anyone and everyone is potentially susceptible to be sick. Most, if not all of the population are aware and are taking all the precautions needed to avoid being infected, however the lack of proper leadership and commitment by the authorities and agencies in carrying out mass emergency responses especially in the health and environmental issues throughout the county is much to be desired. The vaccine program that is being instituted is lacks any sense as it is not properly thought out on who is to receive it. I believe the younger and working generation should be given the priority to et vaccinated than the elderly for instance as common sense would dictate that these people are more mobile and come into contact with more people in their daily routine than the elderly. The older people should be made to stay home and avoid unnecessary travel instead of being given priority to receive vaccination over the younger generation.

In this country as in  most like it, the elder of the society cling on to their status at work and most out of fear of loosing their steady income and worry over their uncertain pension funds being available when they retire, are depriving the young of their job as well as experience opportunity. As such most decision made are catered towards self preservation of the older generation while the younger generation will have to wait their turn which might never come in time and most are forced to take on jobs that they were not qualified or trained to do while in colleges and universities. Most end up flipping burgers on the roadside or selling bundle cloths to stay afloat. The young are being marginalized due to the lack of opportunity to take on what they were educated and trained to do whic is reflective of those who occupy the seats in the government or the parliament. If you watch he parliament in session you will notice that ther is hardly a young face among the so called law makers and as such most thoughts and ideas remain archaic and bias towards keeping the status quo of those past their retirement age. Perhaps this is why the vaccination priority caters towards getting the elderly done first.