"There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine, like children do. It is not in just some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears our presence automatically liberates others." ...from the movie Coach Carter.
I see the same world as you do, but not the same way. I do not see the world as separate from me, I am the world and it is me, nothing is separate from me and I am not separated from anything. Being as such I fear nothing as everything that happens to me is my own manifestation of what is or is not. It is only when I see this life as separate from me that I see fear and suffering, I see right and wrong, success and failures. Hence I keep reminding myself the fact that I am present in the moment in time and space at one with the whole and the whole at one within me. I am not claiming to be able to accomplish this every minute of the day or even every day of the week and sometimes I forget and l lose myself for such a long period in time that I find it hard to even remember who I truly am. Then I find myself drifting, lost in the illusion of space and time, often spending my time looking for my way back home. In most of my dreams the same scenario keeps repeating itself, I find myself looking for my way back home and in most I never did and I find myself waking up feeling like I am still lost or on the way somewhere trying to get home.
These dreams become so regular and it still does so much so that I learned something from it in order not to be too absorbed into frustration and despair by enjoying the journey of being lost itself instead of being worried about getting home. I find myself in all kinds of new environment and sometimes familiar ones with familiar faces and sometimes I would that dejavu feeling of I have been in this scene before and I wondered how I would find my way home from this scenario. No matter the outcome,I would wake up often in pain in my chest from either my high blood pressure or gastric attack . This is usually the result of the exertion that I had in running the gauntlet to get home, not running to escape from anything in particular but simply just to get home. Perhaps because I have no place to truly call my home in life is why I never find my way home or perhaps because I never truly come to a complete acceptance of my believe and faith in any one God or religion, or perhaps it is just because I enjoy the journey so much that I do not wish it to end just yet no matter how tedious or monotonous, painful or exuberant it may seem to be; my mind loves to explore.
I woke up from my latest dream which happened just before I sat to make this post telling a close friend of mine in the dream that, "I want to go home!," and the dream ended with the same routine of me finding my way home and waking up with a chest pain and aches all over. So I did what I normally would do I sat in meditation controlling my breath and moving my energy to where it is needed. I have somewhat mastered these situations to a stage where the pains would subside almost immediately as soon as I start to breath more consciously paying attention towards where the pains were most intense. which usually would be in the center of my chest just above the abdomen or the solar plexus area and the back of the neck just below my skull. I visualize releasing the blocked energies around these areas by gently breathing onto them until they are totally relaxed and the blood flowing smoothly and with it the pains gone. I realie too that taking a pill or two of Panadol and drinking a good amount of Maylox or Gaviscon would have solved the problem just as well, well to each his own, I am a drug addict of the different kind if I wish to indulge myself every now and then. Everything is in moderation as they say and the more natural the healing power is the more sustainable and longer the impact would last. It is through my mind that I heal my body or at least maintain it and keep it in order. The five basic elements kept pretty much in good balance and the supply of energy producing food is well regulated and the waste product kept a close eye on.
My simple self developed rules in keeping body and mind in good shape has got me thus far although I have often professed that I am neither the mind nor the body, these are still my tools, my instruments, my mode of expression and transportation while in this realm of existence and thus I keep them in good form as best I can. It is in this form of mind and body that I intend to liberate my soul from the bonds of suffering and ignorance; this is my goal my mission in life. As it is I have wasted much of my time in being dependent upon the external stimulation and attachments neglecting to search deeper within for answers to the mysteries of life, death and rebirth, or afterlife as the case may be. Questions of fear and attachments, pain and pleasure, wisdom and ignorance, these are the unanswered issues that needs to still be dealt with and realized not just understood intellectually but manifested in my daily activities, in my relationship and in my spiritual growth. How far or how near am I from being liberated from the bonds of this Mayavic existence?
In order for the light within me to shine forth I have to become enlightened. This Blog kept for many years of my journey towards attaining the enlightenment of the Buddha, Sages and the Patriarchs/Matriarchs is my way of sharing with the world of what it takes to become a beacon for those lost in darkness.
#enlightenment #buddha, #liberation #lifedeathrebirth
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