Removing my Ego

The Bhagavad Gita and the Battlefield Within

There are books that we read once and place back upon the shelf. Then there are books that patiently wait for us to become ready.

The Bhagavad Gita belongs to the latter.

Many years ago, while house-sitting for my son in Dubai, I watched the entire television adaptation of the Mahabharata. I was captivated by its sweeping story of kings, warriors, loyalty, betrayal, and destiny. Yet, if I am honest, the deepest jewel within that epic escaped me. I admired the Bhagavad Gita without truly understanding it.

Only recently, through a series of lectures by Sunyamurti and BK Usha on YouTube, did I begin to appreciate the extraordinary wisdom hidden within that dialogue between Krishna and Arjuna. It was as though a familiar door had quietly opened onto an entirely new landscape.

Perhaps that is the nature of wisdom. It does not reveal itself according to our schedule. It reveals itself when we have become ready to receive it.

The battlefield of Kurukshetra has traditionally been understood as the place where two branches of the same family fought for a kingdom. Yet the more I reflect upon the Gita, the more I wonder whether that battlefield is also within each of us.

Every day we stand between fear and courage.

Between attachment and surrender.

Between anger and compassion.

Between the voice of the ego and the quiet wisdom of the heart.

Arjuna's hesitation before the battle is not weakness. It is the moment when the old answers no longer satisfy the deepest questions. In many ways, every sincere spiritual search begins there.

Looking back over my own life, I can see that I have walked through many such battlefields. Whether travelling across America, working aboard a fishing boat in Alaska, living in Japan, farming in Kedah, practising Zen, rediscovering Islam, or simply sitting quietly with a sketchbook, the outer circumstances continually changed. Yet the real journey was always inward.

Without realizing it, I had been asking the same question all along:

Who am I?

The Bhagavad Gita never asks us to abandon the world. Instead, it invites us to understand our place within it.

One of its most profound teachings is that we are entitled to our actions but not to the fruits of those actions. At first glance this appears almost impossible. We naturally hope our efforts will be rewarded. Yet Krishna points toward a deeper freedom: to act wholeheartedly without allowing our peace to depend upon success or failure.

Looking back, I see that many of the happiest moments of my own life came when I forgot about recognition altogether. Sketching in solitude. Writing in journals no one else might ever read. Giving away paintings. Sharing conversations. Teaching what little I had learned. Those moments were complete in themselves.

Perhaps that is Karma Yoga in its simplest expression.

Another teaching that resonates deeply is the distinction between the changing personality and the witnessing Self. Every tradition seems to point toward this same mystery.

Zen speaks of our Original Nature.

The Tao speaks of returning to the Source.

The Sufis speak of polishing the mirror of the heart.

The Qur'an reminds us that, "Wherever you turn, there is the Face of God."

Different languages.

Different cultures.

Yet perhaps they are all pointing toward the same moon.

As I grow older, I have begun to appreciate another quiet lesson of the Gita. Life gradually loosens our attachment to the identities we once believed defined us. Artist. Father. Husband. Traveller. Student. Teacher.

These roles are precious, yet they are not the whole of who we are.

Something has remained present through every season of life. It was there in childhood. It travelled with me across oceans. It remained after moments of joy and sorrow alike. It observes without growing old.

Perhaps this is what Krishna was pointing toward.

The Bhagavad Gita is often described as a book about war. I have come to see it as a book about peace—not the peace that comes from conquering others, but the peace that arises when we no longer need to conquer ourselves.

Its battlefield is our own heart.

Its victory is understanding.

Its kingdom is inner freedom.

Whether we call this Yoga, Awakening, Self-realization, or simply coming home, the invitation remains the same today as it did thousands of years ago.

The battle is within.

So too is the victory.

Wallahu A'lam.

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