There is saying in Malay, Air di cincang takkan terputus. or in English, no matter how much you chop up the water you can never split it in half, it will reconnect itself. I believe in this saying, the fact that my twin brother and will one day in our lives find peace and reconciliation at least before any one of us dies unexpectedly; it happens. We came into this world within half an hour of each other and he came out first and I became the seventh and the youngest in my family. I was given up for adoption to my mother's younger brother to be raised as his own son. My uncle was a Buddhist and had raised me as one while my brother was raised a Muslim by my immediate family. We were saperated at birth, this was primarily the cause of our not seeing eye to eye as we grew into adulthood. Forgiveness and reconciliation and unconditional acceptance in a relationship is a tough virtue to practice especially when the conflict has taken for so long to be resolved. This was what I felt when visiting my twin brother in Kuala Terengganu. Although born hardly half an hour apart, my brother and I never saw eye to eye and has always been at logger head with one another throughout our entire 70 years of life.It has been one my if not our conundrum that had haunted me often carrying with it sadness and a sense of loss..
I have grown up with this mirror image of myself which is almost the opposite in character as well as outlook in life and I have made the major error of comparing ourselves instead of cherishing our differences. However ihave also been emulating his stronger traits whenever I needed time to evaluate myself, not all of his ways are to my liking but most are worth emulating especially in ways of how one deals with life's more challenging situations; how would have my brother dealt with such an event or situation? I will not go into details of our past experiences as it is what it is a thing of the past, but I look forward to our relationship with greater hope for a healing process to develop and that we can become one whole and powerful individuals in facing our future from henceforth. As my daughter told me, one of the things my brother mentioned to her was that to let bygone be bygone and the two of us will look ahead to a better more healthy relationship. I am very glad that we visited and stayed with my twin brother and his wife last weekend, it was a significant change in both our lives for the better.
Exactly a week ago today we went to the mosque for the Friday prayed and i felt the bond between us being sealed as two souls that had occupied the same womb. I may not be as pious as he is but my heart felt like we it had been somewhat healed from the yearn for the love that I never felt for the past 70 years as brothers. It is a blessing and I hope and pray that nothing will stand in its way ever again as we head into our matured age. May Allah make us whole and complete again as we once were while in our mother's womb. It is with hope that i look into the future and the past while left behind will always be a great lesson for both of us in how we look at each other and from the opposite side of the mirror.
Friday, May 03, 2019
Wednesday, May 01, 2019
Kuala Terengganu Revisited.
Kuala Terengganu, the capital city of Terengganu has change tremendously since i last visited it, it has evolved into a crowded but beautiful city with lots of its charms and beauties still can be experienced. My eldest brother asked that we drove along the river mouth or Kuala area so my daughter can see what was happening a sight which included the new drawbridge built across the Terengganu Rive mouth. It was too dark to see as the lighting was not ready yet but i enjoyed the sight and the unsightly as we wound our way through the narrow streets. I kept commenting to myself about how most cities like to built but they fail to maintain once they have built, garbage from the night's market was strewn haphazardly along the sidewalks like some attitudes never change. I grew up as a teen ager in this town for twelve years of my life, I was converted to Islam in this town. Getting my foreskin nipped at the Hospital was one of the most painful experience hard to forget. My teenage school buddies were among the most intelligent and gifted as today amny holds high ranking positions in the government and local industries. Our teachers including my eldest brother, were those who had returned from Kirby and Brmsford Lodge in England and thus we were fortunate to have had them as our role models. Among them were arists like the late Redza Piyadasa and Ibrhim Isamil, Chew Teng beng and Yeo Jin Leng and Christopher Lai, among others whose works are among the sought after in the Malaysian Art market, whose reputation as art teachers is well accepted by the locals and international art community.
The vast open sea and the stretches of sandy beaches, the thick rain forest of the hinterland and swaths of rice fields was my source of inspiration growing up as a teenager in the small town of Kuala Terengganu during the sixties and early seventies. Today it has joined the rat race among the other cities in the country with traffic as heavy and buildings sprouting all over; it has lost the nostalgic laid back fishing village ambiance of old. Hardly see a kite in the skies nor a fighting fish in the homes, the children have joined the high tech video dimension of existence.
The vast open sea and the stretches of sandy beaches, the thick rain forest of the hinterland and swaths of rice fields was my source of inspiration growing up as a teenager in the small town of Kuala Terengganu during the sixties and early seventies. Today it has joined the rat race among the other cities in the country with traffic as heavy and buildings sprouting all over; it has lost the nostalgic laid back fishing village ambiance of old. Hardly see a kite in the skies nor a fighting fish in the homes, the children have joined the high tech video dimension of existence.
Monday, April 29, 2019
The South China Sea- here I come.
Yesterday morning at sunrise I was floating on my back swayed by the waves on the East Coast where I stayed atmy twin brother's house by the sea in Marang, Terengganu. I drove with my daughter leaving Penang at ten on Thursday night,we rented a car online and I was very impressed at how easy it all seems and all depending upon mutual trust and respect for the users. My daughter insisted that we wahed and vacuumed the car when we left it back at the parking lot; I was impressed that my daughter has learned much about life in this dayb and age, she is a survivor. She took care of all the strategics and logistics and my copilot It was fun driving a relatively new car that drives smoothly and most important well lit; i enjoyed my Kancil having driven that little car ten times back and forth across the mountain ranges of the Titiwangsa, the spine of the Malay Peninsular,that diivides the East from the West Coasts; I miss my Kancil. I kept telling myself its alright to enjoy the small compensation to make up for the age,at least from the Safety perspective. So the latest Viva gets my rating as a safe and comfortable car to drive long or shrt distances, there I did a commercial! My way of saying thanks from both my daughter and ; it was like driving an upgraded Kancil.
It took eight hours to reach Kuala Terengganu, from Georgetown, Penang at a decent speed, I drive decent. Driving through the East West Highway from the town of Grik, in theState of Perak located just at the edge of where the the East West begins heading towards the East Coast States of Kelantan and Terengganu along with the State of Pahang has some of the most beautiful sandy beaches there is, facing the South China Sea. The Malay folks are charming and
take pride in their cultural heritage in Arts and Craftsmanship. They make good food in their own style and are famous for their own fish products of Keropok. I hope I can see a little bit more before time cuts short my mental and physical will to drive for eight hours through the night across the thick forest of the Titiwangsa Range. I am grateful to Allah for the safe journey, Alhambullilah! I enjoyed well still do enjoy driving especially driving a car you are most comfortable with, your own. I would sing or zikr or i would entertain nasty thoughts, my mind kept me entertained as i drive, then every now and then I would take a deep breath and let it out and do a litlle meditatio on the road; I am the car and the car is a part of who I am, we become one just like good horse rider becomes one with his mount. Meditate on the road and at nothing in particular but just forms and emptiness zipping by you, you just follow the lines and stay between the lines no matter what cause its darkness all around you otherwise. Mindfulness Driving I call it. We all do this all those who enjoy long drives through the dark.
When you drive eight hours straight through the night you are sitting in meditation, doing Zazen or sitting meditation focused on your breath and watching the mind body works in-sync, watching the breath rise and fall, trying your damnedest not to fall asleep on the wheels. One of the ways of being in spiritual solitary,like seeking a cave or a quiet hut is to drive alone in the night and watch your mind for two or three hours at a time while asking yourself the ultimate question; why do I keep doing this to myself? and the answer would always returns to, this is who I am, at the moment, enjoying one of my practices in life, being comfortably alone yet exhilarating in my mind and body as it involves danger and risk to the car and me. I do not invite death but I know death is not too far away from me and I have lived a life worth taking; surrender my self to the universe and the unseen and my faith in my what I am capable of; I cannot say I am not afraid but if death lurks around the next bend, I will have to embrace it willingly, this is the risk I take upon myself, body, mind and spirit.
I you are looking for laid back place where the beaches stretches as far as your eyes can see and the sea is still green, visit the East Coast States of Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang, lots of sunshine and good food no doubt and a spiritually uplifting experience you will have whether you like it or not when you wake up to the call to prayer from the mosques around you to start your day as the sun rises from across the horizon of the South China Sea, revealing in blazing colors, the Isand of Kapas ,you meditate on it. As the gentle warm sea breeze blows through you, you surrender to that state of peace in mind body and spirit...and this too will pass!
.
.
It took eight hours to reach Kuala Terengganu, from Georgetown, Penang at a decent speed, I drive decent. Driving through the East West Highway from the town of Grik, in theState of Perak located just at the edge of where the the East West begins heading towards the East Coast States of Kelantan and Terengganu along with the State of Pahang has some of the most beautiful sandy beaches there is, facing the South China Sea. The Malay folks are charming and
take pride in their cultural heritage in Arts and Craftsmanship. They make good food in their own style and are famous for their own fish products of Keropok. I hope I can see a little bit more before time cuts short my mental and physical will to drive for eight hours through the night across the thick forest of the Titiwangsa Range. I am grateful to Allah for the safe journey, Alhambullilah! I enjoyed well still do enjoy driving especially driving a car you are most comfortable with, your own. I would sing or zikr or i would entertain nasty thoughts, my mind kept me entertained as i drive, then every now and then I would take a deep breath and let it out and do a litlle meditatio on the road; I am the car and the car is a part of who I am, we become one just like good horse rider becomes one with his mount. Meditate on the road and at nothing in particular but just forms and emptiness zipping by you, you just follow the lines and stay between the lines no matter what cause its darkness all around you otherwise. Mindfulness Driving I call it. We all do this all those who enjoy long drives through the dark.
When you drive eight hours straight through the night you are sitting in meditation, doing Zazen or sitting meditation focused on your breath and watching the mind body works in-sync, watching the breath rise and fall, trying your damnedest not to fall asleep on the wheels. One of the ways of being in spiritual solitary,like seeking a cave or a quiet hut is to drive alone in the night and watch your mind for two or three hours at a time while asking yourself the ultimate question; why do I keep doing this to myself? and the answer would always returns to, this is who I am, at the moment, enjoying one of my practices in life, being comfortably alone yet exhilarating in my mind and body as it involves danger and risk to the car and me. I do not invite death but I know death is not too far away from me and I have lived a life worth taking; surrender my self to the universe and the unseen and my faith in my what I am capable of; I cannot say I am not afraid but if death lurks around the next bend, I will have to embrace it willingly, this is the risk I take upon myself, body, mind and spirit.
I you are looking for laid back place where the beaches stretches as far as your eyes can see and the sea is still green, visit the East Coast States of Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang, lots of sunshine and good food no doubt and a spiritually uplifting experience you will have whether you like it or not when you wake up to the call to prayer from the mosques around you to start your day as the sun rises from across the horizon of the South China Sea, revealing in blazing colors, the Isand of Kapas ,you meditate on it. As the gentle warm sea breeze blows through you, you surrender to that state of peace in mind body and spirit...and this too will pass!
.
.
Monday, April 22, 2019
If not Now-When?- Dedicated to those who died in the Sri Lankan Bombings
How does one keep on perusing a course of action in life that would ultimately become synchronized with the core of your being who you are. You belief system, your faith,your habitual tendencies and so on. How does one become fully assimilated into one's practice in life after having lived for seven decades and experiencing as much as the mind could gather of knowledge and wisdom or trials and errors of right and wrong such that it becomes a part and parcel of one's so called identity or personality. This is who I am I say, but who am I who keeps evolving into something that i never thought I could be when there is a change in the course of all these triggered by some unforeseen event or occurrence shifting my consciousness into some new paradigm, some new direction or course of action? All I can say is to keep on going with the flow, adapting and accepting what is and moving on to the next event as they arises. Nothing is fixed in concrete or carved in stones as life is ever evolving, metamorphosing, however it is still up to me to adapt with wisdom and intelligence, to take each and every changing steps with caution and determination.
Where is these leading me up to? Why the need to become so immersed into this self seeking, self, realization, this years of 'soul searching towards realizing the truth of what it is all about? It is because this is all that is of vital interest and importance for me; to make sense out of all the nonsense and embrace the right understanding of the meaning of my existence on this plane. I am endowed with this sense faculties that demands to be ultimately used to the best of my ability as a thinking entity; "I think, therefore I am." to quote Descarte, I believe he was partly right. However what happens when I stop thinking, which most spiritual practitioners ancient and modern yogi has been trying to achieve myself included. Perhaps many have succeeded in this quest during their lifetime, some for a moment in time while others throughout their lives or so them claim. The silencing of the mind is the cessation of thought formations, the pausing of the flow of life that enables for change to happen for better or worse. Just like when we shift the gear from one to another speed, there is a brief moment of neutrality, so does the mind when making a change of subject, there is pause in between.
In this state neutrality there is the possibility of catching a glimpse of what is, an insight into reality that is clear and lucid even if it is strictly personal in nature and brief in moment. This is my understanding, of what i have been striving to attain on my road towards my own salvation; if it benefits me in some small way it will help benefit others in the course of their lives, those who cross my path in one form or another. Many strive to attain the "Creative spirit" or creative mind, seeking to find the originality and the genuine, but few has taken the mantle to do so without giving up. I do not intend to give up my quest, futile and idiotic as it may seem, I intend to untangle the tangle and enlighten my spirit before the end of my days. If I cannot attain enlightenment and libraton in this lifetime, I would deem my life as it is a total waste of space and time. I deserve to be thrown into the avichi hell.
Where is these leading me up to? Why the need to become so immersed into this self seeking, self, realization, this years of 'soul searching towards realizing the truth of what it is all about? It is because this is all that is of vital interest and importance for me; to make sense out of all the nonsense and embrace the right understanding of the meaning of my existence on this plane. I am endowed with this sense faculties that demands to be ultimately used to the best of my ability as a thinking entity; "I think, therefore I am." to quote Descarte, I believe he was partly right. However what happens when I stop thinking, which most spiritual practitioners ancient and modern yogi has been trying to achieve myself included. Perhaps many have succeeded in this quest during their lifetime, some for a moment in time while others throughout their lives or so them claim. The silencing of the mind is the cessation of thought formations, the pausing of the flow of life that enables for change to happen for better or worse. Just like when we shift the gear from one to another speed, there is a brief moment of neutrality, so does the mind when making a change of subject, there is pause in between.
In this state neutrality there is the possibility of catching a glimpse of what is, an insight into reality that is clear and lucid even if it is strictly personal in nature and brief in moment. This is my understanding, of what i have been striving to attain on my road towards my own salvation; if it benefits me in some small way it will help benefit others in the course of their lives, those who cross my path in one form or another. Many strive to attain the "Creative spirit" or creative mind, seeking to find the originality and the genuine, but few has taken the mantle to do so without giving up. I do not intend to give up my quest, futile and idiotic as it may seem, I intend to untangle the tangle and enlighten my spirit before the end of my days. If I cannot attain enlightenment and libraton in this lifetime, I would deem my life as it is a total waste of space and time. I deserve to be thrown into the avichi hell.
In
Buddhism, Avīci (Sanskrit and Pali for "without waves" – Chinese and
Japanese: 無間地獄, Wújiàn dìyù and 阿鼻地獄, Ābí dìyù) or Avichi is the lowest
level of the Naraka or "hell" realm, with the most suffering, into which the dead who have committed grave misdeeds may be reborn. Wikipedia.
The Buddha is said to have said that it is in this human form that one stand the best chances of attaining liberation, so no time to waste. The human race is entering into its darkest moments and there is rise in evil forces initiating chaos through brutality and murder. It is in need of answers more so than ever towards the understanding of the human factor. Yesterday, they bombed several religious buildings and hotels in Sri Lanka claiming over 160 lives and many wounded and we ares till reeling from the Christchurch New Zealand carnage. Evil is on the rise no matter who claims responsibility for the incident. The human mind is becoming infested with hate and ignorance if not greed that underlies all these incidents. It is more imperative for all those who are on the road towards awakening that we strive even harder to find the healing process for this illnesses.
Friday, April 19, 2019
Time to untangle the tangle.
It's Friday, soon I will hear the call to prayer from the Masjid Negeri or the State Mosque.I have made my pray to my Lord in my own way earlier before i sat to meditate and contemplate, then ,now writing a post on my Blog not knowing what to expect to come out from my subconscious and wakeful mind. Listening to the sound of flute from an American Indian, sounds like one is sitting somewhere in the Organ Pipe mountains in Southern most part of the Mainland United States, on the boarder between the US and Mexico where the Organ Pipe Mountain rage ends in the Sonora Desert of Southern Arizona: I was there and did that. The sound of the wind that blows through the the organ like spires of vertical pillars of rocks stacked one upon another, sounded like the sound of this flute in my ears.I have an affinity whatever that means with the Spirit of the American Indians,like blood brothers just as i feel I have the connection with the Japanese Artists in history and today.
Life is about making a story, playing a role, reaching in and reaching out to find the truth to what is or not what it should be, is this 'Reality itself?' Is this the of Ultimate and complete, Consciousness the realm of non-duality, the One with the Maker. Not so long as there is stil the witness, the observer- the mind. Mind has to cease to exist in any state or form from the state of consciousness of a soul. I use the word soul loosely to mean no further than that which, I am in the present state of learning and understanding, who am I?What precious little time I have left, I hereby am sharing with you my reader whoever or wherever you are, that you may touch my heart with your consciousness to help me on my journey to the end.
The Lord Krishna's flute was once asked by one of the Gopis, "What makes you so special, that the Lord touches you with his lips?" The flute replied, "Nothing special, I am but just a hollow reed through which I allow my Lord to blow his breath into the sound of eternal music." I am but an empty vessel into which I allow knowledge to pour into and be boiled to produce wisdom; I am only a Buddha's begging bowl seeking Right Understanding,Right Mindfulness and Right Consciousness of Being, who I am. In this present moment in space and time, writing this post, listening to an American Indian flute music... is this all there is to who I am? It is Friday and it is doubtful that i will go to the Friday Prayer and I have stopped going for qite a while now and yest it disqualifies me to be called a Muslim, I acept this. As i mentioned earlier, I did my prayers in my own way earlier this morning and later in the morning. I have strong faith that my Lord is listening to me and; all I can say I just have this feeling deep inside of me that I am forgiven. I am more of a spiritual than a religious person, I am an Eclectic, I pick and choose the best of all choices between what i would consider worthy or unworthy of being accepted as the truth for me.
Life is about making a story, playing a role, reaching in and reaching out to find the truth to what is or not what it should be, is this 'Reality itself?' Is this the of Ultimate and complete, Consciousness the realm of non-duality, the One with the Maker. Not so long as there is stil the witness, the observer- the mind. Mind has to cease to exist in any state or form from the state of consciousness of a soul. I use the word soul loosely to mean no further than that which, I am in the present state of learning and understanding, who am I?What precious little time I have left, I hereby am sharing with you my reader whoever or wherever you are, that you may touch my heart with your consciousness to help me on my journey to the end.
The Lord Krishna's flute was once asked by one of the Gopis, "What makes you so special, that the Lord touches you with his lips?" The flute replied, "Nothing special, I am but just a hollow reed through which I allow my Lord to blow his breath into the sound of eternal music." I am but an empty vessel into which I allow knowledge to pour into and be boiled to produce wisdom; I am only a Buddha's begging bowl seeking Right Understanding,Right Mindfulness and Right Consciousness of Being, who I am. In this present moment in space and time, writing this post, listening to an American Indian flute music... is this all there is to who I am? It is Friday and it is doubtful that i will go to the Friday Prayer and I have stopped going for qite a while now and yest it disqualifies me to be called a Muslim, I acept this. As i mentioned earlier, I did my prayers in my own way earlier this morning and later in the morning. I have strong faith that my Lord is listening to me and; all I can say I just have this feeling deep inside of me that I am forgiven. I am more of a spiritual than a religious person, I am an Eclectic, I pick and choose the best of all choices between what i would consider worthy or unworthy of being accepted as the truth for me.
Monday, April 15, 2019
You Are an Eclectic!!!
Eclecticism was a school of philosophy in Ancient Greece, or so I read one cold winter's day in the foothills of the the Rockies in a small potter's house about one kilometer down hill from Central City, Colorado. It was in the seventies and I was doing my college work which was primarily traveling all over the country and the world seeking knowledge I was a Street Artist; my studies was about how one lives the life of an artist on the street throughout one's ;ife. I called it "The Art of Living" (as an Artist). Along the way I got myself deeply involved with my darker nature and committed many errors or as they say in plain language; I fucked up many times in just as many ways. You name it chances are I did fucked it up too, that is or was my load to carry; karma sucks.
I woke up in the middle of the night with the ringing in my ears a voice shouting "You are and Eclectic!" It was the end of a dream of which I have not recollecction. What i remebered was sitting up and searching for my sketch pen and wrote on a small piece of paper the word EKLETIK and fell back to sleep,it was a cold winters night in the Rockies. The next morning i went downstairs to have my breakfeast with my host Mr. Angelo DeBenedetto an elderly Italian gentleman of about his seventies; you can Google him. I told Angelo of my dream and showed him the piece or paper i had written the word EKLEKTIK, Angelo What does it mean? Angelo started explaining to me what it meant and as I was listening to him but not really hearing what he was saying my eyes were captured by the glow of colorful light around the small antique wood statue of Kuan Yin, The Goddess of Mercy, Kanon, Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion. Angelo was quiet and was looking at me strange like and went on to explain how he got the little wooden statuette, as though I had asked him about it.
yes I was called an eclectic yelling at me in my dream loud enough to wake me up and write it down...in Later Angelo took me to meet his friends and fellow artist couple who were potters their house was located along the road in a small town called Black Hawk about a few kilometers downhill from Central City. I was treated as a special guest and offered to borrow a book on the Wisdom of the Ages, The Book of Secrets, a large hardcover book that said in the prologue only 87 copies were printed and i was holding one of them. In it among the colorful original paintings of ancient mysteries and their symbols, printed on rich glossy prints I saw Isis in all her Glory, I saw Krishna in all His Glory and I saw Zeus and Homer, Plato and Apollo, I saw many sects and symbols of man in history. I had the thick and heavy black book with me for a few days while I was staying at Angelo's Studio. I was introduced to Hermetic ism from the book and latter pursued its understanding, the teachings of Thoth- Trimester. My mind feasted upon all the images and symbols through the ages creating episodes and stories abut each, making sense out of nonsense; the Book was God sent.
I woke up in the middle of the night with the ringing in my ears a voice shouting "You are and Eclectic!" It was the end of a dream of which I have not recollecction. What i remebered was sitting up and searching for my sketch pen and wrote on a small piece of paper the word EKLETIK and fell back to sleep,it was a cold winters night in the Rockies. The next morning i went downstairs to have my breakfeast with my host Mr. Angelo DeBenedetto an elderly Italian gentleman of about his seventies; you can Google him. I told Angelo of my dream and showed him the piece or paper i had written the word EKLEKTIK, Angelo What does it mean? Angelo started explaining to me what it meant and as I was listening to him but not really hearing what he was saying my eyes were captured by the glow of colorful light around the small antique wood statue of Kuan Yin, The Goddess of Mercy, Kanon, Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion. Angelo was quiet and was looking at me strange like and went on to explain how he got the little wooden statuette, as though I had asked him about it.
eclectic
/ɪˈklɛktɪk/
adjective
- 1.deriving ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources."universities offering an eclectic mix of courses"
synonyms: wide-ranging, wide, broad, broad-ranging, broad-based, extensive, comprehensive, encyclopedic, general, universal, varied, diverse, diversified, catholic, liberal, cross-disciplinary, interdisciplinary, multidisciplinary, all-embracing, non-exclusive, inclusive, indiscriminate, many-sided, multifaceted, multifarious, heterogeneous, miscellaneous, assorted More - 2.Philosophydenoting or belonging to a class of ancient philosophers who did not belong to or found any recognized school of thought but selected doctrines from various schools of thought.
noun
1.
a person who derives ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sourceyes I was called an eclectic yelling at me in my dream loud enough to wake me up and write it down...in Later Angelo took me to meet his friends and fellow artist couple who were potters their house was located along the road in a small town called Black Hawk about a few kilometers downhill from Central City. I was treated as a special guest and offered to borrow a book on the Wisdom of the Ages, The Book of Secrets, a large hardcover book that said in the prologue only 87 copies were printed and i was holding one of them. In it among the colorful original paintings of ancient mysteries and their symbols, printed on rich glossy prints I saw Isis in all her Glory, I saw Krishna in all His Glory and I saw Zeus and Homer, Plato and Apollo, I saw many sects and symbols of man in history. I had the thick and heavy black book with me for a few days while I was staying at Angelo's Studio. I was introduced to Hermetic ism from the book and latter pursued its understanding, the teachings of Thoth- Trimester. My mind feasted upon all the images and symbols through the ages creating episodes and stories abut each, making sense out of nonsense; the Book was God sent.
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Lao Tzu.
Am I going insane or am I just slip sliding into the sea of mediocrity at an old age,merely existing till my time is up, at least in this physical form. Am i fulfilling my aspirations, my wishes and desires after all these seventy years almost; or is it all merely an illusion ? Have I squandered my life to being just another entity among billions of entities eating, sleeping and shitting while I am paraded towards my final resting ground like a heard of cattle headed for the slaughterhouse. Christopher Hitchens is dead and buried after adamantly maintained that there is no such a thing as God, while in Yemen hundreds of thousands have given up their lives in the name of the God they believe. I have my own Jihad to perform and it is in awakening to the Truth of Religion at least one that I feel most spiritually correct. I expect no miracles but surely would welcome any if it helps me to better understand but in essence I cannot declare if there is or there is no God, but my gut feeling says, there is. Gut feelings are the closest feeling one can have towards any unknown, not easily explainable phenomena in life.
God or whatever you may address it by name,is like the Tao. "The Tao that can be easily explained is not the Tao." Perhaps it would take a little more than our ten percent capability of using our brain, in order to have a better insight into the Nature of the Divine. We have yet to tap into a drop in the ocean of consciousness of our own self understanding; God is the rest of the ocean. I realize that it would take more than human intelligence to crack the nut, it would take more than, having grat insights or consciousness awakenings, in order that I might catch a glimpse of reality as it is, but I feel int in me that I am not as free a spirit as I think. I have no right to go claiming if there is there is not a God, the Divine is a very personal feeling one can have but cannot be shared. Sharing means you have to justify your feelings and no amount of justification can explain what one feels about God; it is only felt by me. Most religions I find worship the symbol, the Name, the Container, loosing sight of the content, the essence. We make perfect sense preaching but not in practice.
For as long as my mind is on this subject let me say that the search for God or the Divinity is innate in our human nature as the sciences is more and more revealing that we are a form with a collective consciousness , we may have individual feelings but our thoughts are a part and parcel of the Whole of our species. Hence according to the teachings of the Buddha, ultimately there is no self or as in Islam one achieves 'Fana'... emptiness? Only when one does not exist is God or Allah truly One, not two. In essence it is my understanding that death is the ending of one's material thought of to be a self, I, me mine, this physical form these thoughts and memories these, visions and dreams. Death is the cleansing of the empty mirror that has been what i have come to accept to be me with all its ramifications of such an acceptance. Cleaning my lenses is my way of self purification or spiritual purification while still in this material or physical realm of existence. I am an entity, walking along this path along with my fellow man, I am a soul among souls, breathing in and out, we walk fully conscious of who or what or where we are at this juncture in our lives.
"A Man who justifies, does not convince, not even to himself!"
Lao Tzu.
God or whatever you may address it by name,is like the Tao. "The Tao that can be easily explained is not the Tao." Perhaps it would take a little more than our ten percent capability of using our brain, in order to have a better insight into the Nature of the Divine. We have yet to tap into a drop in the ocean of consciousness of our own self understanding; God is the rest of the ocean. I realize that it would take more than human intelligence to crack the nut, it would take more than, having grat insights or consciousness awakenings, in order that I might catch a glimpse of reality as it is, but I feel int in me that I am not as free a spirit as I think. I have no right to go claiming if there is there is not a God, the Divine is a very personal feeling one can have but cannot be shared. Sharing means you have to justify your feelings and no amount of justification can explain what one feels about God; it is only felt by me. Most religions I find worship the symbol, the Name, the Container, loosing sight of the content, the essence. We make perfect sense preaching but not in practice.
For as long as my mind is on this subject let me say that the search for God or the Divinity is innate in our human nature as the sciences is more and more revealing that we are a form with a collective consciousness , we may have individual feelings but our thoughts are a part and parcel of the Whole of our species. Hence according to the teachings of the Buddha, ultimately there is no self or as in Islam one achieves 'Fana'... emptiness? Only when one does not exist is God or Allah truly One, not two. In essence it is my understanding that death is the ending of one's material thought of to be a self, I, me mine, this physical form these thoughts and memories these, visions and dreams. Death is the cleansing of the empty mirror that has been what i have come to accept to be me with all its ramifications of such an acceptance. Cleaning my lenses is my way of self purification or spiritual purification while still in this material or physical realm of existence. I am an entity, walking along this path along with my fellow man, I am a soul among souls, breathing in and out, we walk fully conscious of who or what or where we are at this juncture in our lives.
"A Man who justifies, does not convince, not even to himself!"
Lao Tzu.
Thursday, April 11, 2019
How to title a Painting?
I presented my friend Lee Khai a few pieces of my almost completed art works and he chose two out of six and advice me to stay with this style for my upcoming solo exhibition which will take place a the Gallery Seni Mutiara or better known as Su Khaw's Gallery, located on Armenian Stree or is it Aceh street? Lee has the eyes and sensitivity for the Fine Art and has been a prominent collector in the Georgetown area. He is also the Chairman of the Penang State Art Gallery; Lee knows Art better than artists themselves. It has been my privilege to have met and became very close to this man to call him my brother., his beautiful wife my sister; the one person I could share my feelings with those that runs deeper than normal. Anne has the gift of a Kind and compassionate listener, like Kuan Yin; my Kuan Yin. Then there was also my friend and fellow artist, Saparel Salleh, an excellent jungle landscape artist with a very keen eyes upon colors of the forest and flowing creeks and streams and exotic sunshine cascading through green fond and leaves larger than life; looking at his works you can tell he spends much of his time in the jungle. I have known him for many years now and this was the first time i ever got close to him; I almost put my fist through his jaw at one time in the past.
Just before Shaparel walked into the house i was letting it off my chest of how i felt about this guy an d why to Anne and my daughter, I felt lighter immediately as I said hello to him and shook his hand. I seems like all that ranting I did was indeed a 'letting it out of my chest'. The rest of the night went through like a charm for everyone and we had a very relaxing conversation about all the mundane subjects that came to mind and we discussed my works. The dinner was something I haven't had in very long time called Oppo in Indonesian cooked by Lee's maid and her husband who prepared a Western Style stew and had a chocolate cake for desert baked by Anne and slices of ripe mangoes and Chiku fruits to wash the mouth with. All in all I can say that the saying, "Ask and Ye shall be given," is true. I had asked for his help and Lee has again answered me most graciously with dignity and class. This is why I call him my brother; Van Gogh had Theo, I have Lee Khai.
I am writing this as a fond memory of my life and times among these good Christians and Muslims, my relationship towards others and they towards me, how we gain mutual respects and trusts as time passes if and when we try to accept our limitations and work towards reconciliation like true brothers in life and spirit: I am still learning. I have some twenty paintings to be ready for my show and I have only got two accepted! With friends like these who needs enemies? Ha! For a few hours the pain and suffering of humanity around the world seemed non existent...all an illusion a fleeting cloud that comes and goes. Illusory as it is the hours spent chatting with Lee and wife and Shaparel and my daughter with an occasional join in by the Indonesian husband and wife was a positive state of illusion. It is a learning as well as healing process that I go through, humanity goes through in the evolution towards basic Right Understanding of Who am I? What is reality? How am I connected to The Whole?
Tat Tvam Asi - I am that!
Just before Shaparel walked into the house i was letting it off my chest of how i felt about this guy an d why to Anne and my daughter, I felt lighter immediately as I said hello to him and shook his hand. I seems like all that ranting I did was indeed a 'letting it out of my chest'. The rest of the night went through like a charm for everyone and we had a very relaxing conversation about all the mundane subjects that came to mind and we discussed my works. The dinner was something I haven't had in very long time called Oppo in Indonesian cooked by Lee's maid and her husband who prepared a Western Style stew and had a chocolate cake for desert baked by Anne and slices of ripe mangoes and Chiku fruits to wash the mouth with. All in all I can say that the saying, "Ask and Ye shall be given," is true. I had asked for his help and Lee has again answered me most graciously with dignity and class. This is why I call him my brother; Van Gogh had Theo, I have Lee Khai.
I am writing this as a fond memory of my life and times among these good Christians and Muslims, my relationship towards others and they towards me, how we gain mutual respects and trusts as time passes if and when we try to accept our limitations and work towards reconciliation like true brothers in life and spirit: I am still learning. I have some twenty paintings to be ready for my show and I have only got two accepted! With friends like these who needs enemies? Ha! For a few hours the pain and suffering of humanity around the world seemed non existent...all an illusion a fleeting cloud that comes and goes. Illusory as it is the hours spent chatting with Lee and wife and Shaparel and my daughter with an occasional join in by the Indonesian husband and wife was a positive state of illusion. It is a learning as well as healing process that I go through, humanity goes through in the evolution towards basic Right Understanding of Who am I? What is reality? How am I connected to The Whole?
Tat Tvam Asi - I am that!
Monday, April 08, 2019
Take a cat nap-while they fix your plumbing.
Like a cat,one must learn to take a nap, like a bee one must nkow when to stop and smell the roses; resting is an art worth cultivating especially when one is getting into the seventies club. Find a place and lay down to sleep the physical body into total deep relaxation, letting it all sink into the ground or the void to sound more profound.Watch every muscles and sinews relax from the tightness of holding back tensions especially around the lower back and the shoulders and neck area. The death posture it is called in Hatha Yoga-
"Corpse Pose: The Death at the End of Your Practice. While the most widely used name for this pose is Savasana (Sava is the Sanskrit term for corpse and asana the Sanskrit term for posture), it's also known as Mritasana, or death posture " -Wikipedia.
This is the rest that animals like cats adapt to in the course of a day especially after a play or chasing for food, they rest, dogs do it, cows do it you name it they do it; resting. Taking time off to realign the physical body through breathing and letting the gravity do the rest. It is like going to sleep but no quite or even more so, bring the body to consciously shut down; in a blissfull state of a lightness of being. All you are doing off course is simply resting you body and mind, but I find it by prolonging this practice with bar attention I wake up with more energy and vigor to take on the next action or chores. As an artist i find it most helpful being able to refresh, revitalize and recharge my energy but taking a short cap nap.
"Corpse Pose: The Death at the End of Your Practice. While the most widely used name for this pose is Savasana (Sava is the Sanskrit term for corpse and asana the Sanskrit term for posture), it's also known as Mritasana, or death posture " -Wikipedia.
This is the rest that animals like cats adapt to in the course of a day especially after a play or chasing for food, they rest, dogs do it, cows do it you name it they do it; resting. Taking time off to realign the physical body through breathing and letting the gravity do the rest. It is like going to sleep but no quite or even more so, bring the body to consciously shut down; in a blissfull state of a lightness of being. All you are doing off course is simply resting you body and mind, but I find it by prolonging this practice with bar attention I wake up with more energy and vigor to take on the next action or chores. As an artist i find it most helpful being able to refresh, revitalize and recharge my energy but taking a short cap nap.
Saturday, April 06, 2019
To Mooji Baba - Namaste andThank You!
Why the need for something to happen,,why do i project an expectation into my future moments, why the wanting to escape this moment where I am at?This my second effort as my first effort was magically wiped out! But it is OK, I have nothing better to do at the moment other than go to bed, I slept this afternoon. The voice and image of Mooji appeared in my consciousness asking these questions as I sat on the steps of the RECSAM Hall, in Gelugor, this is where one of my best friend's daughter will be getting married tomorrow; I was there just to hang out with the guys, giving some moral support to the father of the bride.
We smoked a s few joints and drank a little Ketum, to celebrate the occasion among men. I got lost a few times driving home, I found myself not recognizing where I was and It was quite a challenge to keep myself from pulling off the road to realign myself to where I was but icould not stop and nor could i slow down as I was on main three lane Green Lane Avenue heading towards Scotland Road, I was on track i realized.I watched my loosing its focus on the moment and drifting off ; falling asleep. I had to make an effort to bring my mind to concentrate on the driving. I was not afraid of loosing it, I enjoyed watching it, a part of me was experiencing some new feelings, new emotions that is more deeper: I can observe my thinking mind! I can step aside from the busy traffic that the mind is generating from within and without, I am the master of my thoughts and consiousness1! Oh! I forgot to buy the cat food!
Being awakened can happen in a split second and will last for a long as keep getting deeper into your practices and it may take more than pure meditation and concentration, at least not the likes of me; I think too much.I am addicted to thinking and my mind is ever ready to accommodate and nothing passes my mind in the day that does not become a subject, a topic a oint to ponder upon at the end of the day. When you sit and meditate, if you meditate, all these things and happenings and the interaction between the material and corporeal dimensions comes to surface. The mind is kept busy by every single image and event that it has encountered in a single day, every single moment; it becomes a critical observer, analyzing, demanding answers and it turn into an intellectual mind and, scientific mind, it becomes s Spiritual mind, it becomes a Divine Mind;
No Mind is Divine Mind,
No Mind is Buddha's Mind,
No Mind , NO Buddha.
Awakening is moment in time when one stops expecting something to happen next, there is no next! There is only the mere and now, this moment this time and space and all else are fleeting thoughts like clouds appearing and disappearing in and empty sky. Even a flash of lightning can be made to stretch a little longer if one wills it so, try it.So with a moment of awakening, one tries to make it last a little longer each and every time it arises. In the meantime," Eat when you are hungry and sleep when you are sleepy, sit and watch the grass grow!" Do nothing, expect nothing, even the hope to become nothing! If your balls itch, scratch them, don't feel embarrassed about doing what comes natural and if you need to fart, please don't hold it back! Let it rip and enjoy that release of pressure in the stomach and chest area, nothing is worse than stale air trapped in the belly, it is like having bad or stale Chi floating around looking for the wrong places to get into. That is why after you have settled down to 'Sit' in meditation, the first breath you take is to exhale as forcefully as you can the bad air in you system out, empty the tummy of stale gasses especially when you just woke up after a long sleep. It would help if you take a few moments to gently massage you belly, make time if you really care for your body put that alarm clock an hour earlier to wake you up. It's the hour you prepare your mind and body to face the day.
There is nothing after this, there is only this!
We smoked a s few joints and drank a little Ketum, to celebrate the occasion among men. I got lost a few times driving home, I found myself not recognizing where I was and It was quite a challenge to keep myself from pulling off the road to realign myself to where I was but icould not stop and nor could i slow down as I was on main three lane Green Lane Avenue heading towards Scotland Road, I was on track i realized.I watched my loosing its focus on the moment and drifting off ; falling asleep. I had to make an effort to bring my mind to concentrate on the driving. I was not afraid of loosing it, I enjoyed watching it, a part of me was experiencing some new feelings, new emotions that is more deeper: I can observe my thinking mind! I can step aside from the busy traffic that the mind is generating from within and without, I am the master of my thoughts and consiousness1! Oh! I forgot to buy the cat food!
Being awakened can happen in a split second and will last for a long as keep getting deeper into your practices and it may take more than pure meditation and concentration, at least not the likes of me; I think too much.I am addicted to thinking and my mind is ever ready to accommodate and nothing passes my mind in the day that does not become a subject, a topic a oint to ponder upon at the end of the day. When you sit and meditate, if you meditate, all these things and happenings and the interaction between the material and corporeal dimensions comes to surface. The mind is kept busy by every single image and event that it has encountered in a single day, every single moment; it becomes a critical observer, analyzing, demanding answers and it turn into an intellectual mind and, scientific mind, it becomes s Spiritual mind, it becomes a Divine Mind;
No Mind is Divine Mind,
No Mind is Buddha's Mind,
No Mind , NO Buddha.
Awakening is moment in time when one stops expecting something to happen next, there is no next! There is only the mere and now, this moment this time and space and all else are fleeting thoughts like clouds appearing and disappearing in and empty sky. Even a flash of lightning can be made to stretch a little longer if one wills it so, try it.So with a moment of awakening, one tries to make it last a little longer each and every time it arises. In the meantime," Eat when you are hungry and sleep when you are sleepy, sit and watch the grass grow!" Do nothing, expect nothing, even the hope to become nothing! If your balls itch, scratch them, don't feel embarrassed about doing what comes natural and if you need to fart, please don't hold it back! Let it rip and enjoy that release of pressure in the stomach and chest area, nothing is worse than stale air trapped in the belly, it is like having bad or stale Chi floating around looking for the wrong places to get into. That is why after you have settled down to 'Sit' in meditation, the first breath you take is to exhale as forcefully as you can the bad air in you system out, empty the tummy of stale gasses especially when you just woke up after a long sleep. It would help if you take a few moments to gently massage you belly, make time if you really care for your body put that alarm clock an hour earlier to wake you up. It's the hour you prepare your mind and body to face the day.
There is nothing after this, there is only this!
Sunday, March 31, 2019
Read at your own peril.
So, just stop caring, however if you have to care, care to know about who you truly are. Take care of number one as they say in the US. You can take it to mean any which way you like for yourself but it simply means to mind your own 'self'. It is imperative that once you have understood of yourself, of who you are, all else is taken care of. Be;ieve it or not that is what i realized a few moment ago and I thought that it is well worth sharing, yes, ironic this is an act of caring in itself, but how else can i see myself other than through making it manifested in words as a thought , an idea that is worth to think about. I am so into caring about the well being of others, what they feel, what they suffer from, the fate of the world, humanity and not the mention the animals and the environment, it can be very taxing and vexing' so, stop caring(without) start caring (within).
How to remove from the influences and distractions that is manifesting every nano second of my physical existence? What with the Internet and You Tube and all the rest of the sources that is promoting these inexhaustible inputs? How do i create a pause? How do I even delete? How do i silence the mind? How do I become absolutely detached from what I am exposed to? It is said that meditation on 'Bare Attention', is one way towards liberating one's mind from being attached to the external phenomena, perhaps there is a way and all it takes is collecting your mind to an attention of just a single thought in this moment. In this very moment in time I stop and ask myself , who am I? and what is all these? I take a deep breath very slowly and hold it for a few seconds (eight or six counts) then i let it out slowly counting eight or six counts and hold it for another similar count and then I le it out...and I keep this on for as long as I am not forcefully distracted from the exercise, like there is an itch in my crotch or someone calls.
Eckhart Tole in one of his talks or perhaps his book, "The Power of Now', mentioned about creating a space of silence in between your thoughts or perhaps your breath and to find in this silence the connection to the whole of your being-ness. Your original Buddha Nature, your 'Ruh ul kudus'. The longer your pause becomes the closer you get to become connected to your inner being, this is the essence of meditation on breathing is about. In doing Zazen or sitting meditation, one's attention is on the breathing of in and out, there is nothing in between but just silence. When a thought enters the consciousness, it is simply watched without any form of attachment -with bare attention. It is said in the Diamond Sutra of the Sixth Zen Patriach, Hui Neng that thoughts are like clouds in and empty sky, and Zen Master Dogen,, founder of the Soto Zen school was said to have said that thoughts are like clouds, you know not when they will appear or disappear. I know my thoughts are fleeting and yet any single thought can trigger a lengthy discussion if an when it catches my attention; which never fails to happen. The intention is to be aware and not be attached to these rising thoughts, become a witness with bare attention not supporting nor rejecting, no likes or dislikes. Watch how they came into being, how long they stayed and what makes them disappear.
This is one way I have found for myself the nature of caring for others and how to care for myself. How futile it seems all these while that I was thinking so much about the negativity that is burning around me at all levels and dimensions of my existence and not being able to find any meaningful answers. The question pops up in my mind every now and then, "Is this all there is to it?" "Is this," as Ed Brown, the Zen Teacher in San Francisco once I heard said. "The peak of Mystic Mountain?" As a Muslim, if I can even claim myself as one, I accept wholeheartedly that the All Mighty has His plan and His plan includes each and every dimensions of this existence and what we understood as the Universe. Having any lower perception about my life at this moment is same as regressing into the dark and ignorant state of my past. Caring about myself means to fully understand who I am in relationship to the rest of the 'WHOLE'. With this understanding I feel I might be able to find the Love and Peace I seek, the Forgiveness and Compassion that I hold towards all living creature, towards all of nature and towards even my enemies.
At the age of seventy I still think like a child of seven.
"Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care." Don't know who said this but it makes sense.
How to remove from the influences and distractions that is manifesting every nano second of my physical existence? What with the Internet and You Tube and all the rest of the sources that is promoting these inexhaustible inputs? How do i create a pause? How do I even delete? How do i silence the mind? How do I become absolutely detached from what I am exposed to? It is said that meditation on 'Bare Attention', is one way towards liberating one's mind from being attached to the external phenomena, perhaps there is a way and all it takes is collecting your mind to an attention of just a single thought in this moment. In this very moment in time I stop and ask myself , who am I? and what is all these? I take a deep breath very slowly and hold it for a few seconds (eight or six counts) then i let it out slowly counting eight or six counts and hold it for another similar count and then I le it out...and I keep this on for as long as I am not forcefully distracted from the exercise, like there is an itch in my crotch or someone calls.
Eckhart Tole in one of his talks or perhaps his book, "The Power of Now', mentioned about creating a space of silence in between your thoughts or perhaps your breath and to find in this silence the connection to the whole of your being-ness. Your original Buddha Nature, your 'Ruh ul kudus'. The longer your pause becomes the closer you get to become connected to your inner being, this is the essence of meditation on breathing is about. In doing Zazen or sitting meditation, one's attention is on the breathing of in and out, there is nothing in between but just silence. When a thought enters the consciousness, it is simply watched without any form of attachment -with bare attention. It is said in the Diamond Sutra of the Sixth Zen Patriach, Hui Neng that thoughts are like clouds in and empty sky, and Zen Master Dogen,, founder of the Soto Zen school was said to have said that thoughts are like clouds, you know not when they will appear or disappear. I know my thoughts are fleeting and yet any single thought can trigger a lengthy discussion if an when it catches my attention; which never fails to happen. The intention is to be aware and not be attached to these rising thoughts, become a witness with bare attention not supporting nor rejecting, no likes or dislikes. Watch how they came into being, how long they stayed and what makes them disappear.
This is one way I have found for myself the nature of caring for others and how to care for myself. How futile it seems all these while that I was thinking so much about the negativity that is burning around me at all levels and dimensions of my existence and not being able to find any meaningful answers. The question pops up in my mind every now and then, "Is this all there is to it?" "Is this," as Ed Brown, the Zen Teacher in San Francisco once I heard said. "The peak of Mystic Mountain?" As a Muslim, if I can even claim myself as one, I accept wholeheartedly that the All Mighty has His plan and His plan includes each and every dimensions of this existence and what we understood as the Universe. Having any lower perception about my life at this moment is same as regressing into the dark and ignorant state of my past. Caring about myself means to fully understand who I am in relationship to the rest of the 'WHOLE'. With this understanding I feel I might be able to find the Love and Peace I seek, the Forgiveness and Compassion that I hold towards all living creature, towards all of nature and towards even my enemies.
At the age of seventy I still think like a child of seven.
"Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care." Don't know who said this but it makes sense.
Tuesday, March 26, 2019
The lesson in New Zealand -Kiwi is not just a fruit.
The aftermath of the new Zealand shooting was counter to what was expected of the killer and those that condone his actions, it created martyrdom out of those who perished. It is to date another historical blemish in the hist ry of man and his faith, his beliefs and his virtues. One man can create such a havoc all in the name of hatred and ideologies and the res of the Nation if not the world is put on halt with a whole lot of spiritual reflections is thrown into the the already dark days of religions. For those who have lost their loved ones it will remain forever a scar that will forever remain as the most brutal times of their lives and for those who are still reeling from unanswered questions as to why or how and what has become of humanity, the incident is yet another addition.
Through this act of wanton need to kill those that are of a different color of skin, faith or religion, through the need to fulfill a vision of supremacy and gain recognition in the eyes of like beings, many such similar murders and terrorists acts has become a part of our humanity. What had happened was supposed to have brought cheers and condemnation from the supporters of religious violence and those that abhor such acts. It is hoped and prayed for that his incident would hail in a more tolerant and genuine care from the rest of humanity for religious faith. It is only through patience and perseverance and an indomitable desire to end this cycle of terrorism that humanity must come together and say, "Enough is enough!" It is time for humanity to collectively shout it out that violence and terrorism was buried a long time ago in history as a means to problem solving We have migrated from the Dark Ages a few hundred years ago when we claimed ourselves having achieved an age of Renaissance.
It is indeed sadly mystifying that man is bound and determined to repeat the past especially those ho very wealth and fame depends on the misery of others. The sales of armaments is today one of the largest if not the largest industry in the so called advanced countries. War is a lucrative business! Instead of focusing the advancement of technology to better the world today most technologies are catered towards updating weapons of mass destruction and precision killings. Instead of creating a loving and caring young adults, we create zombie like soldiers whose only mission in life is to follow orders and to seek and destroy; it has become a worldwide game at who is best at killing. If all the money and human resources spent over war were to have been put into use over caring for the Planet humanity would have less desire for a heaven in the after life, heaven is already here. Ironically religious believe and faith would not be an issue in paradise for is sustainable and provided for, but this is not to be and so what is the solution to this dilemma that plagues humanity and not to mention this very Planet itself?
Through this act of wanton need to kill those that are of a different color of skin, faith or religion, through the need to fulfill a vision of supremacy and gain recognition in the eyes of like beings, many such similar murders and terrorists acts has become a part of our humanity. What had happened was supposed to have brought cheers and condemnation from the supporters of religious violence and those that abhor such acts. It is hoped and prayed for that his incident would hail in a more tolerant and genuine care from the rest of humanity for religious faith. It is only through patience and perseverance and an indomitable desire to end this cycle of terrorism that humanity must come together and say, "Enough is enough!" It is time for humanity to collectively shout it out that violence and terrorism was buried a long time ago in history as a means to problem solving We have migrated from the Dark Ages a few hundred years ago when we claimed ourselves having achieved an age of Renaissance.
It is indeed sadly mystifying that man is bound and determined to repeat the past especially those ho very wealth and fame depends on the misery of others. The sales of armaments is today one of the largest if not the largest industry in the so called advanced countries. War is a lucrative business! Instead of focusing the advancement of technology to better the world today most technologies are catered towards updating weapons of mass destruction and precision killings. Instead of creating a loving and caring young adults, we create zombie like soldiers whose only mission in life is to follow orders and to seek and destroy; it has become a worldwide game at who is best at killing. If all the money and human resources spent over war were to have been put into use over caring for the Planet humanity would have less desire for a heaven in the after life, heaven is already here. Ironically religious believe and faith would not be an issue in paradise for is sustainable and provided for, but this is not to be and so what is the solution to this dilemma that plagues humanity and not to mention this very Planet itself?
Saturday, March 23, 2019
Meditation on Awareness.
An eighty odd year old Chinese, Apek ran into my car hind side just as i crossed the curb going through a green light on Penang Road this morning on my way to sending my daughter to work, thank you that no serious damage was done and the old man was all smiles and apologetic. When I asked him why he started going when the light was still green he said he just couldn't see. I can understand his feelings and took his number to contact if he needs some assistance in paying for the damage on his motorcycle: yes shit happens! My daughter later as we drove away said that's what happens when you think negative thoughts and I was earlier while we passed a Colonial bungalow type government building I was told belonged to the UMNO people from way back when, I started off on why the building should become the site for The Penang Malays Art Gallery. and with this i dragged on all along Hutton lane about my poor relationship with uncle Rashid, yada, yada ...and as we drove the lights ...kaboom! Shit happens to the best of us for all our good intentions and purpose.
An 80 year old Apek, old Chinaman woke me up to the present reality ...and my daughter has a lesson in driving, like what do you do, never say you are sorry, never accuse the other party for any wrong doing, but first address the person, "Are you hurt!, the rest will take care of its own. Do not linger around too long as the crowd will grow and you are lost explaining to ten other guys wearing green vests with their walkie talkies blaring around you, you will end up feeling like a criminal and probably say to yourself,"Where is the trafic cop when I need him?" I have had a few serious auto mobile accidents that could have ended my life, the scars left behind ar w whole lot deeper than the physical trauma and I feel sorry for my old Chinaman friend and thankful at the same time for his gift towards my spiritual growth ...shit happens! You just have to learn to live with it, expect when most unexpected, the unexpected... in short "Be Prepared", as the old Boys Scout Moto reads, be mindful, be awar.
Astaghfirullah, Forgive me Lord for my transgressions of the past present and future, forgive this lost soul seeking his way home to You.
Alhamdullilah! Thank You Lord, for the Grace and Blessing you have been giving me, sheltering me from harm and forgiving even the worst moments of my life; You were always there, this is why I am who I am, my journey in this lifetime is almost over and I am most grateful and thankful for every moment in time and space that I have experienced it was all with Your Blessings; I am your servant, and in this moment in time, while it is raining heavily outside, which we most needed and prayed for, I thank you, Alhamdullilah! The sound of thunder heralds this moment as a witness, here I am before You, my Lord,; I am a lost soul, seeking onlly to return to my Maker and it is with hope that my sharing this moments with my readers, is my way of giving back what I have been blessed with or cursed as an ongoing lesson -Zen and the Art of Living, I used to call it at one time or another...Way of the Cheeseburger Buddha.
In the silence between you can hear the rain approaching from one direction like the sound of a train and the then it passes over and the sound into one complete whole it is like yet another thermostat and slowly it pitters away into another completes silence again...listen to the rythm of the falling rain like you miss it so
much and that you are thank ful for it being here. If you are fully aware you start to see the rythm of the Universe, the ebbs and flows the push and pull; realm of the dual thinking mind. If one can quiet the mind even for a single moment, you are on the way becoming an enlightened being. Easier said than done especially if you spend half your days watching and listening to You Tube, people like me has a whole lot of accumulated junk on my back and I simply have to delete as much as possible especially the old files that serves no purpose anymore I got to catch up to my housekeeping chore and clean up as much as I can, have a garage sale for unwanted dramas and dreams, so my practice has been to seek that silence in between and try to prolong it as much as I possibly can; it is called meditation on awareness..
An 80 year old Apek, old Chinaman woke me up to the present reality ...and my daughter has a lesson in driving, like what do you do, never say you are sorry, never accuse the other party for any wrong doing, but first address the person, "Are you hurt!, the rest will take care of its own. Do not linger around too long as the crowd will grow and you are lost explaining to ten other guys wearing green vests with their walkie talkies blaring around you, you will end up feeling like a criminal and probably say to yourself,"Where is the trafic cop when I need him?" I have had a few serious auto mobile accidents that could have ended my life, the scars left behind ar w whole lot deeper than the physical trauma and I feel sorry for my old Chinaman friend and thankful at the same time for his gift towards my spiritual growth ...shit happens! You just have to learn to live with it, expect when most unexpected, the unexpected... in short "Be Prepared", as the old Boys Scout Moto reads, be mindful, be awar.
Astaghfirullah, Forgive me Lord for my transgressions of the past present and future, forgive this lost soul seeking his way home to You.
Alhamdullilah! Thank You Lord, for the Grace and Blessing you have been giving me, sheltering me from harm and forgiving even the worst moments of my life; You were always there, this is why I am who I am, my journey in this lifetime is almost over and I am most grateful and thankful for every moment in time and space that I have experienced it was all with Your Blessings; I am your servant, and in this moment in time, while it is raining heavily outside, which we most needed and prayed for, I thank you, Alhamdullilah! The sound of thunder heralds this moment as a witness, here I am before You, my Lord,; I am a lost soul, seeking onlly to return to my Maker and it is with hope that my sharing this moments with my readers, is my way of giving back what I have been blessed with or cursed as an ongoing lesson -Zen and the Art of Living, I used to call it at one time or another...Way of the Cheeseburger Buddha.
In the silence between you can hear the rain approaching from one direction like the sound of a train and the then it passes over and the sound into one complete whole it is like yet another thermostat and slowly it pitters away into another completes silence again...listen to the rythm of the falling rain like you miss it so
much and that you are thank ful for it being here. If you are fully aware you start to see the rythm of the Universe, the ebbs and flows the push and pull; realm of the dual thinking mind. If one can quiet the mind even for a single moment, you are on the way becoming an enlightened being. Easier said than done especially if you spend half your days watching and listening to You Tube, people like me has a whole lot of accumulated junk on my back and I simply have to delete as much as possible especially the old files that serves no purpose anymore I got to catch up to my housekeeping chore and clean up as much as I can, have a garage sale for unwanted dramas and dreams, so my practice has been to seek that silence in between and try to prolong it as much as I possibly can; it is called meditation on awareness..
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Alan Watts - Shooting an arrow into emptiness.
Alan Watts, the Roshi, the Hippie Zen Master who lived on a Houseboat anchored at the Sausalito slit, perhaps still there, The Embarcadero or something like that. In the annals of the Western Zen . Allan Watts is up there among the great teachers of religions and life. Very few can tie the knot of knowledge and wisdom between East and West better then Alan Watts among others. D.T. Suzuki and Sunryu Suzuki Roshi, all the rest of the great teachers that came after are merely walking in their footsteps, like the walking dead following a leader, a teaching a way that has suddenly appeared without thorough investigation as to the meaning behind the meaning and the truth that is being shared; all through the years since when I first stumbled upon one or two of his books, "The Way of Zen" and "This is It!," I was hooked I was then working as a librarian at the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay,sometime in 1970-80s. I also found Hokusai and his complete mangga, comic books. IN this one corner way in the back there was a reading corner and it was surrounded with the books by J.Krishnamurti, and Osho, and Huxley and books G.I.Guirdjief.and Ouspenske, Yoga texts and the Bhagavad Gita I found the Tao Te Ching and the Lessons from the "Shirt Wearer of the Tribe."
The discovery I made in this little corner of the library had launched me out into the world traveling as an Art Student from one country to another for the next few semesters. The rewards may come late or never, but the feeling of knowing this to be true is already the beginning of the awakening of the spirit. My spirit took to its wings and spent the next three years in college just traveling where I felt like; it was called Directed Independent Studies, a pioneer program out of the University of Wisconsin, Madison. I was one of the few chosen to do the program from UWGB at the time. The idea was to help students make it out there and give them an extensive experience on being an Artist on the street. It was almost like a tradition when I return to the University from everyone of my trips, everyone I met at the counter windows and their cubicles, I got a 'Wlecome Back Sam!' where di you go this time? Along the corridors, "Hey Sammy! Welcome back man! Staying for long this time?" I touched many lives and they touched mine and most were out of Love and Compassion. Then shit happens too, so you win some and loose some as they say back in Wisconsin.
"The Way of Zen," was instrumental in my creating the name Cheeseburger Buddha, I was reading the book while eating a cheeseburger at Mc Donald's, while wearing the uniform of J&J Security in the sunny sunny winter's day on the East side of Green Bay. Outside the street was covered with snow, brilliant white piled up against the windows. A small voice whispered in my ear, "You are nothing but a Cheeseburger Buddha." This was in the late 70s and early eighties and I was offered a chance to go to college and I accepted and I walked away with a degree in Fine Arts after five years; I enjoyed school life so much that they said I was becoming a permanent student. I graduated with a cum laude, on a self designed program - The University Without Walls,,,my letter of proposal was entitled, "Art in Quest of the Universality. " I could have called it in Search of the One true Lord of Creation or something similar but it might have hit a religious wall, so I settled for this vague and naive vision. I hated education until I became a student at UWGB, Wisconsin. This was where I met Alan Watts through his works.
The discovery I made in this little corner of the library had launched me out into the world traveling as an Art Student from one country to another for the next few semesters. The rewards may come late or never, but the feeling of knowing this to be true is already the beginning of the awakening of the spirit. My spirit took to its wings and spent the next three years in college just traveling where I felt like; it was called Directed Independent Studies, a pioneer program out of the University of Wisconsin, Madison. I was one of the few chosen to do the program from UWGB at the time. The idea was to help students make it out there and give them an extensive experience on being an Artist on the street. It was almost like a tradition when I return to the University from everyone of my trips, everyone I met at the counter windows and their cubicles, I got a 'Wlecome Back Sam!' where di you go this time? Along the corridors, "Hey Sammy! Welcome back man! Staying for long this time?" I touched many lives and they touched mine and most were out of Love and Compassion. Then shit happens too, so you win some and loose some as they say back in Wisconsin.
"The Way of Zen," was instrumental in my creating the name Cheeseburger Buddha, I was reading the book while eating a cheeseburger at Mc Donald's, while wearing the uniform of J&J Security in the sunny sunny winter's day on the East side of Green Bay. Outside the street was covered with snow, brilliant white piled up against the windows. A small voice whispered in my ear, "You are nothing but a Cheeseburger Buddha." This was in the late 70s and early eighties and I was offered a chance to go to college and I accepted and I walked away with a degree in Fine Arts after five years; I enjoyed school life so much that they said I was becoming a permanent student. I graduated with a cum laude, on a self designed program - The University Without Walls,,,my letter of proposal was entitled, "Art in Quest of the Universality. " I could have called it in Search of the One true Lord of Creation or something similar but it might have hit a religious wall, so I settled for this vague and naive vision. I hated education until I became a student at UWGB, Wisconsin. This was where I met Alan Watts through his works.
Tribute to Katagiri $RRoshi -Ho JO San.
I try not to hang around too long in one space or time or even energy, my mind will not allow it and I don't mind it; not even in a state of Samadhi or Satori, not that i have any worth mentioning of late. Change keeps the mind active and alive, renewal and rediscovering of one's inner possibilities and potentials are the things that keeps your spirit alive even if they are all fantasies, to have a challenge in life at every level of your existence, to stay the course and keep on trudging towards that is truth, is ultimate reality and this is who you are, life is truly not worth living. To die not knowing some concrete to the question about life, is life wasted. Life has no purpose, until you give it one.
"What is you original intention, Shamsul, San?" Katagiri Roshi asked me one day while were having tea together at the San Francisco Zen Center. This was during a seen day Sesshin led by Katagiri Soshi. Before i could answer he continued. " Stick to your orginal mind." I bowed low to him and the meeting was over.
Jikai Dainin Katagiri (片桐 大忍 Katagiri Dainin, January 19, 1928 – March 1, 1990), also known as Hojo-san Katagiri, was a Sōtō Zen roshi and the founding abbot of Minnesota Zen Meditation Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where he served from 1972 until his death from cancer in 1990. Before becoming first abbot of the Minnesota Zen Meditation Center, Katagiri had worked at the Zenshuji Soto Zen Mission in Los Angeles and had also been of great service to Shunryu Suzuki at the San Francisco Zen Center, particularly from 1969 until Suzuki's death in 1971. Katagiri was important in helping bring Zen Buddhism from Japan to the United States during its formative years—especially to the American Midwest. He is also the credited author of several books compiled from his talks.
Ho Jo San told me of his former life as a soldier and we swapped stories back an forth like how I grew up from a swamp where mud skippers make their homes beneath your floor...he enjoyed swapping wild stories about both our homes; he was a friend and a teacher .Only a Buddha knows a Buddha, said the Buddha. Two years has been my limit of stating in one place or one relationship, at a time and that ended when I married my late wife Nancy. Before the everything happened in a cycle of two years more or less so I noticed. I could not hold on to a life for more then two years or so it seemed. I may not know what my original mind or intention is but I know that I am here and now making this post entry, in this space and time, I must say I have enjoyed my ride so far despite all the bumps along the way; if anything I would I would have to say, it would still be to know who I truly am, to discover my own Buddha Nature.
"What is you original intention, Shamsul, San?" Katagiri Roshi asked me one day while were having tea together at the San Francisco Zen Center. This was during a seen day Sesshin led by Katagiri Soshi. Before i could answer he continued. " Stick to your orginal mind." I bowed low to him and the meeting was over.
Jikai Dainin Katagiri (片桐 大忍 Katagiri Dainin, January 19, 1928 – March 1, 1990), also known as Hojo-san Katagiri, was a Sōtō Zen roshi and the founding abbot of Minnesota Zen Meditation Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where he served from 1972 until his death from cancer in 1990. Before becoming first abbot of the Minnesota Zen Meditation Center, Katagiri had worked at the Zenshuji Soto Zen Mission in Los Angeles and had also been of great service to Shunryu Suzuki at the San Francisco Zen Center, particularly from 1969 until Suzuki's death in 1971. Katagiri was important in helping bring Zen Buddhism from Japan to the United States during its formative years—especially to the American Midwest. He is also the credited author of several books compiled from his talks.
Ho Jo San told me of his former life as a soldier and we swapped stories back an forth like how I grew up from a swamp where mud skippers make their homes beneath your floor...he enjoyed swapping wild stories about both our homes; he was a friend and a teacher .Only a Buddha knows a Buddha, said the Buddha. Two years has been my limit of stating in one place or one relationship, at a time and that ended when I married my late wife Nancy. Before the everything happened in a cycle of two years more or less so I noticed. I could not hold on to a life for more then two years or so it seemed. I may not know what my original mind or intention is but I know that I am here and now making this post entry, in this space and time, I must say I have enjoyed my ride so far despite all the bumps along the way; if anything I would I would have to say, it would still be to know who I truly am, to discover my own Buddha Nature.
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Turning lead into gold.
And in the Name of the Most Giving and Merciful...Lord of Creation and Lord of the Here and Now...The Cherisher of Life, the Lord of Power that gives strength and energy for my very existence...astarghfilrula, ...Al Ghafur ur Rahim... the Ultimate Forgiver... in Him I put my faith and unto Him I surrender my will...what keeps me alive and there is none but Allah hu Akhbar...All Praise be unto Him. Every breath I take and every step I make He is with me closer than my own jugular vein, for His Temple is within me, His breath is what keeps me alive and His Will is that which keeps me going in pursuit of a higher and clearer understanding of what this is al about. This life of almost seventy years that has slipped me by what have I learned? What do I know? How far or how near am I to the truth if there such an idea, again at the very least I hope to get to know me better and what are my potentials and how I can exit this life with my mead held high and not succumb to mediocrity.
The words of one of my teachers form the past once said,
“From the age of 6 I had a mania for drawing the shapes of things. When I was 50 I had published a universe of designs. But all I have done before the the age of 70 is not worth bothering with. At 75 I'll have learned something of the pattern of nature, of animals, of plants, of trees, birds, fish and insects. When I am 80 you will see real progress. At 90 I shall have cut my way deeply into the mystery of life itself. At 100, I shall be a marvelous artist. At 110, everything I create; a dot, a line, will jump to life as never before. To all of you who are going to live as long as I do, I promise to keep my word. I am writing this in my old age. I used to call myself Hokusai, but today I sign my self 'The Old Man Mad About Drawing.”
―
The words of one of my teachers form the past once said,
“From the age of 6 I had a mania for drawing the shapes of things. When I was 50 I had published a universe of designs. But all I have done before the the age of 70 is not worth bothering with. At 75 I'll have learned something of the pattern of nature, of animals, of plants, of trees, birds, fish and insects. When I am 80 you will see real progress. At 90 I shall have cut my way deeply into the mystery of life itself. At 100, I shall be a marvelous artist. At 110, everything I create; a dot, a line, will jump to life as never before. To all of you who are going to live as long as I do, I promise to keep my word. I am writing this in my old age. I used to call myself Hokusai, but today I sign my self 'The Old Man Mad About Drawing.”
―
Monday, March 18, 2019
Minding the mind.= Again.
After years of self observations and inner engineering done, I have come to the conclusion that it was all in understanding of the workings of the human mind as I used to refer to it as Humind. For a long time perhaps still I have used humind @yahoo.com and my first Solo Exhibition upon returning to Georgetown was titled HUMIND and it was sponsored by the Muzeum Gallery Tuanku Fauziah at USM. The venue was at the AMRO-Bank on Beach Street; it was the best show I had in Penang thanks to my friend and Mentor, Hasnul Jamal Saidon who was then the Director of the Gallery,(MGTF). This is how my mind works if /when i write, not all the time but more now than ever before; my mind is an enigma. The laws of probabilities, the laws of possibillities, causalities and karma itself is of no consequence where my mind is concern, it simply is obnoxious.
I am not my mind, my mind is my tool, my instrument my gauge among other things for my existence on this plane, as a human being, a member of the human species, the Homosappien; my mind is that which creates and destroys and preserving of life at the same time, my Matrix. My mind is not me, I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness, it is my birth right to be who or what I choose to be. I do not need a permission to be who I am, I place no man above or below me in status but i reserve my freedom to choose as i see fit in being who I am as non negotiable. Rich or poor wise or a fool, brave or a coward, I am who I am, pain pleasure is just the opposite side of a coin, living and dying is part and parcel of my evolution towards a higher more challenging plane and more exciting less violent and boring; I deserve better for myself. I have to Love myself better and allow for the ability to be free from taking myself for granted; I am no ordinary man, my mind is not ordinary mind. I may not be a neuro surgeon or a rocket scientist, a quantum physicist or a mathematician, but I have caught into glimpses of realities that are beyond all these, some calls it transcendent realities.
The Buddha would have said, "All is as it should be." ...it is all perfect and complete, each moment in time and space is meant to be just so no how you may feel that you have deviated from the original plan, you are part of the original plan. You are to play your role as best you can no matter how tedious and insignificant a life you live or vibrant and full of flavor kind, A carpenter finds satisfaction and joy in carpentering, while a banker loves his easy chair and Mercedes, an artist paints his heart out and the Buddha teaches the Dharma to the world; we all play our part to perfection.
Stop the whining and groaning about the terrible things in life and how unfair it all seems,just enjoy your moment from time to time feel that what you do and who you are matters; you are the Universe, a wise Hindu once said, claim your right and privilege as such, no recourse, no questions asked. No need to keep punishing myself cause someone else says that I am wrong or that I am on the wrong path.
To know the mind it takes more than the mind, it takes the silencing of the mind, it takes what it takes to bring the mind to a standstill where no thoughts whatsoever passes through the consciousness; it takes some form of meditation, some form of practice, like carpentering, fishing or counting other people's money; to get to know the workings of my mind i have experimented throughout my life, I have put to the test of what worse a man can commit and what best he can do to serve humanity or become a good if not perfect man. I am a student of Jedu Krishnamurti's thoughts and ideas about the human mind, it was he who declared that " You are the Universe!"
I am not my mind, my mind is my tool, my instrument my gauge among other things for my existence on this plane, as a human being, a member of the human species, the Homosappien; my mind is that which creates and destroys and preserving of life at the same time, my Matrix. My mind is not me, I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness, it is my birth right to be who or what I choose to be. I do not need a permission to be who I am, I place no man above or below me in status but i reserve my freedom to choose as i see fit in being who I am as non negotiable. Rich or poor wise or a fool, brave or a coward, I am who I am, pain pleasure is just the opposite side of a coin, living and dying is part and parcel of my evolution towards a higher more challenging plane and more exciting less violent and boring; I deserve better for myself. I have to Love myself better and allow for the ability to be free from taking myself for granted; I am no ordinary man, my mind is not ordinary mind. I may not be a neuro surgeon or a rocket scientist, a quantum physicist or a mathematician, but I have caught into glimpses of realities that are beyond all these, some calls it transcendent realities.
The Buddha would have said, "All is as it should be." ...it is all perfect and complete, each moment in time and space is meant to be just so no how you may feel that you have deviated from the original plan, you are part of the original plan. You are to play your role as best you can no matter how tedious and insignificant a life you live or vibrant and full of flavor kind, A carpenter finds satisfaction and joy in carpentering, while a banker loves his easy chair and Mercedes, an artist paints his heart out and the Buddha teaches the Dharma to the world; we all play our part to perfection.
Stop the whining and groaning about the terrible things in life and how unfair it all seems,just enjoy your moment from time to time feel that what you do and who you are matters; you are the Universe, a wise Hindu once said, claim your right and privilege as such, no recourse, no questions asked. No need to keep punishing myself cause someone else says that I am wrong or that I am on the wrong path.
To know the mind it takes more than the mind, it takes the silencing of the mind, it takes what it takes to bring the mind to a standstill where no thoughts whatsoever passes through the consciousness; it takes some form of meditation, some form of practice, like carpentering, fishing or counting other people's money; to get to know the workings of my mind i have experimented throughout my life, I have put to the test of what worse a man can commit and what best he can do to serve humanity or become a good if not perfect man. I am a student of Jedu Krishnamurti's thoughts and ideas about the human mind, it was he who declared that " You are the Universe!"
Sunday, March 17, 2019
Just letting it all hang out...
It is not easy to simply overlook at the fact that all over the world humanity is falling apart at the seams albeit due to religious animosity, national and territorial rights or economic squeeze, among others that is plaguing us, not to mention how nature is taking a toll on top of it all. One has to be completely blind, deaf and dumb to be impervious to what is happening to us despite all our so called achievements in the fields of the sciences and technology. It is sad and more so when we see that there is little or no chance of upsetting the balance of the negative state of affairs into a more positive one when all one sees is fuel being added to an already raging flames of hatred and discontentment.It is as though there is end to violence and decadence, chaos and discord among nations as well as neighbors. We are living in denial of these foreboding events of our times.
The killing of Muslims while they were at the mosque praying the Friday prayer in Christchurch, New Zealand and followed by the attack on Muslims in India where over 600 homes were destroyed are but the latest among the tragedies that is playing itself out as part of our human history, which will go down as the dark days for mankind. The spread of chaos and discontentment among nations and religious is denominations is rife as everyone is up in arms to claim their rights and privileges often at the expense of others who are seen as the cause of their problems, there is no compromising nor tolerance as each claim for rights and superiority. As I have often said human lives is valued at the cost of a bullet and everyone is out to defend their cause albeit, democracy or religion, a system or simply an idea. It seems we are at our worse with the advent of the Internet that should by right bring us closer together towards understanding and working closer together in settling any and all our disputes like civilized people.
I feel deeply disturbed by so much suffering that is being wrought by man against man and as an artist i find it hard to create what it is that i want to share with those who view my works. I had always wanted to express what is serene and peaceful, such that when viewed my works could evoke cool comfort to the soul, an expression that can calm the human mind and spirit rather than evoke more disturbing and torturous feelings of animosity and pain. I feel like I am in the dark night of my soul looking for answers and wondering what can I do as an artist to help heal those around me. I feel like I am loosing my own sanity thinking so much of what has become of this planet I am leaving behind in the not too distant future; what legacy can I leave behind me for my children and theirs.
As it is, it is the children who are out on the streets carrying placards, decrying the state of the Planet as the climate change becomes more and more a reality. It is their voice that is loudest from all around the Globe demanding that their parents become more serious over what is happening around us. What is happening to those of us who are still alive after all these years having lived and benefited from what the planet had to offer us. Why are we leaving it up to the children to do our battle for us in cleaning up after the mess we leave behind? At my age i wish I have the time and strength yet to do my little bit for the sake of at the very least in cleaning up the garbage that is being washed ashore along some coastal areas as i have done before while living on the East Coast of the Malay Peninsular. Most of our garbage will end up in the sea and washed up by the tides especially during the monsoon season along the South China Sea. At the end of the monsoon one finds heaps of garbage washed ashore from God knows where and it was the best time to do some house cleaning there. This is where school children should be put to task in collecting these trash as it would wake them up to the reality of an environmental consciousness.
to be contd.
The killing of Muslims while they were at the mosque praying the Friday prayer in Christchurch, New Zealand and followed by the attack on Muslims in India where over 600 homes were destroyed are but the latest among the tragedies that is playing itself out as part of our human history, which will go down as the dark days for mankind. The spread of chaos and discontentment among nations and religious is denominations is rife as everyone is up in arms to claim their rights and privileges often at the expense of others who are seen as the cause of their problems, there is no compromising nor tolerance as each claim for rights and superiority. As I have often said human lives is valued at the cost of a bullet and everyone is out to defend their cause albeit, democracy or religion, a system or simply an idea. It seems we are at our worse with the advent of the Internet that should by right bring us closer together towards understanding and working closer together in settling any and all our disputes like civilized people.
I feel deeply disturbed by so much suffering that is being wrought by man against man and as an artist i find it hard to create what it is that i want to share with those who view my works. I had always wanted to express what is serene and peaceful, such that when viewed my works could evoke cool comfort to the soul, an expression that can calm the human mind and spirit rather than evoke more disturbing and torturous feelings of animosity and pain. I feel like I am in the dark night of my soul looking for answers and wondering what can I do as an artist to help heal those around me. I feel like I am loosing my own sanity thinking so much of what has become of this planet I am leaving behind in the not too distant future; what legacy can I leave behind me for my children and theirs.
As it is, it is the children who are out on the streets carrying placards, decrying the state of the Planet as the climate change becomes more and more a reality. It is their voice that is loudest from all around the Globe demanding that their parents become more serious over what is happening around us. What is happening to those of us who are still alive after all these years having lived and benefited from what the planet had to offer us. Why are we leaving it up to the children to do our battle for us in cleaning up after the mess we leave behind? At my age i wish I have the time and strength yet to do my little bit for the sake of at the very least in cleaning up the garbage that is being washed ashore along some coastal areas as i have done before while living on the East Coast of the Malay Peninsular. Most of our garbage will end up in the sea and washed up by the tides especially during the monsoon season along the South China Sea. At the end of the monsoon one finds heaps of garbage washed ashore from God knows where and it was the best time to do some house cleaning there. This is where school children should be put to task in collecting these trash as it would wake them up to the reality of an environmental consciousness.
to be contd.
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
Wedding in Islam should be moderate.
One of my cousins had a wedding held for his daughter and it was held at a "Wedding Center" at InCity Shopping Complex. was it? Anyway there were five weddings happening at The lifts were kept busy and on one of my trips going up to the third floor A gentleman all dressed like and Ustaz walked in and started fiddling with the buttons. He never even casted an eye at me and so I said when the doors shut," The Prophet of Allah said that even a simple smile is a gift. Assalamualaikum .He looked at me and took my hands into his and by then the lift stopped and we both walked out. Later at the "Angkat Nikah" ceremony where the bride and bridegroom tie their knots, I noticed that the Ustaz in the elevator was also the Khadi. After the ceremony as he was walking away I stopped him and apologized, he smiled we meet again! he said..
I once listened to a rant from a Malay Ustaz Imam on You Tube all about all these fanfare and dowries stuff is against Islam, Nothing written in the Quran or Hadith, all these big feasts and having fun is not Islamic. This guy was spitting brimstone and fire about it. Wow! I thought to myself there goes Salleh's Catering business, my cousin will suffer another mild stroke, if the Malays were to all in all makes it a Fatwa that no more extravagant weddings are to be held...hmm. I think weddings and funerals are two of the most quality times that Muslims should celebrate other than the Major events like the Ramadan ; they bring the community together whether to celebrate or commemorate. I love going to weddings especially Malay weddings, not only because of the food, but also to be gawking at lovely ladies in their best dress. Perhaps herein lies the problem as to why big weddings should be declared, Haram!
It would be a sad day indeed if it comes to pass that the Religious Department issues a fatwa that limits weddings to the bare essentials like the days of the Prophet (PBUH) and the predominantly Desert Bedouin. It would mean allot of jobs being put out of business, I once asked my friend Ah Huat, the Auto Air condition Mechanic, why do the Chinese burn paper money for their ancestors. He said although it is really meaningless and a waste, it helps to keep allot of people employed. Anyway no wedding can match that of the former Prime Minister's daughter to a Kazakhstan man, I never found out what status he had but the wedding was very extravagant all around. Perhaps another reason why Islam would prohibit big weddings.
I once listened to a rant from a Malay Ustaz Imam on You Tube all about all these fanfare and dowries stuff is against Islam, Nothing written in the Quran or Hadith, all these big feasts and having fun is not Islamic. This guy was spitting brimstone and fire about it. Wow! I thought to myself there goes Salleh's Catering business, my cousin will suffer another mild stroke, if the Malays were to all in all makes it a Fatwa that no more extravagant weddings are to be held...hmm. I think weddings and funerals are two of the most quality times that Muslims should celebrate other than the Major events like the Ramadan ; they bring the community together whether to celebrate or commemorate. I love going to weddings especially Malay weddings, not only because of the food, but also to be gawking at lovely ladies in their best dress. Perhaps herein lies the problem as to why big weddings should be declared, Haram!
It would be a sad day indeed if it comes to pass that the Religious Department issues a fatwa that limits weddings to the bare essentials like the days of the Prophet (PBUH) and the predominantly Desert Bedouin. It would mean allot of jobs being put out of business, I once asked my friend Ah Huat, the Auto Air condition Mechanic, why do the Chinese burn paper money for their ancestors. He said although it is really meaningless and a waste, it helps to keep allot of people employed. Anyway no wedding can match that of the former Prime Minister's daughter to a Kazakhstan man, I never found out what status he had but the wedding was very extravagant all around. Perhaps another reason why Islam would prohibit big weddings.
Thursday, March 07, 2019
Another Journey in the making.
When you are paying the rent for your apartment that is more than the monthly salary of the security guard of the complex, you deserve a peace of mind where your living quarters is concern. But not where I am at, Living at the top most floor of the 12 story building my daughter and I had to deal with a leaky water tank at the top most level of the building which causes the paint job on ceiling of our apartment to start flaking and drop on to the living room floor including all the table, couch and TV area and so forth. It ends up I had to sweep the floor five or six time a day just to be able to walk to our bedrooms without too much chalky paint material sticking at the bottom of our feet. This is the second time that this happens as it also happened for a few months last year.I must say it sucks but I made it my practice not to loose my cool and handled it while it lasted with a sense of patience and acceptance. It is not fair for my daughter to have to deal with this while the landloard just left for a vacation in Japan.
It is time for me however to take my leave of this place and seek God on the road again, at 70 it will be a challenge no doubt but it ia what makes me happy most, the freedom to be myself again not having to care for or answer to anyone other than me. My daughter is somewhat pretty stable no, with a great job and a beautiful apartment and a cat; leaving her now will not be a big worry. My son too is doing very well at his job and so not much to worry there too, yes I have been a worry wart these past few years over my children' well being and I think I have done more than enough and before It becomes too much for all concern, it is a great time to see the what else life has in store for me. I feel quite well physically and if I take it slow and easy i might be able to cover some distance and seek out some new places.
I will carrying some art materials with me to do some sketching and water colors along the way, I hope it will be like the old days. I will try to keep this Blog running if and when I can find an excess to Internet. I hope everyone who knows me will accept my decision to be a wanderer as I have always been most of my life in the past, it is my way of staying active and alive, Heavens forbid if i meet my end on the road, so be it, I completely am ready to accept whatever the circumstances may be. Life is not worth living if one has no dream to fulfill and merely exist just to occupy space and one's feet nailed to the floor. It is even worse when you are being judged for being less than who you are and you are not pulling your weight, by your own children; it means you have dallied too long in one place. You have become a familiar character and as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Before I become comfortably dependent upon this arrangement of my present state of being, it is best for me to make myself scarce and go for broke on this perhaps my last journey of self discovery...Who am I...truly.
"When man can “wish without worrying,” every desire will be instantly fulfilled...fear must be erased from the consciousness. It is man’s only enemy – fear of lack, fear of failure, fear of sickness, fear of loss and a feeling of insecurity on some plane -
we must substitute faith for fear, for fear is only inverted faith; it is faith in evil instead of good. The object of the game of life is to see clearly one’s good and to obliterate all mental pictures of evil. This must be done by impressing the subconscious mind with a realization of good. "= Florence Scovel Shinn.
It is time for me however to take my leave of this place and seek God on the road again, at 70 it will be a challenge no doubt but it ia what makes me happy most, the freedom to be myself again not having to care for or answer to anyone other than me. My daughter is somewhat pretty stable no, with a great job and a beautiful apartment and a cat; leaving her now will not be a big worry. My son too is doing very well at his job and so not much to worry there too, yes I have been a worry wart these past few years over my children' well being and I think I have done more than enough and before It becomes too much for all concern, it is a great time to see the what else life has in store for me. I feel quite well physically and if I take it slow and easy i might be able to cover some distance and seek out some new places.
I will carrying some art materials with me to do some sketching and water colors along the way, I hope it will be like the old days. I will try to keep this Blog running if and when I can find an excess to Internet. I hope everyone who knows me will accept my decision to be a wanderer as I have always been most of my life in the past, it is my way of staying active and alive, Heavens forbid if i meet my end on the road, so be it, I completely am ready to accept whatever the circumstances may be. Life is not worth living if one has no dream to fulfill and merely exist just to occupy space and one's feet nailed to the floor. It is even worse when you are being judged for being less than who you are and you are not pulling your weight, by your own children; it means you have dallied too long in one place. You have become a familiar character and as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Before I become comfortably dependent upon this arrangement of my present state of being, it is best for me to make myself scarce and go for broke on this perhaps my last journey of self discovery...Who am I...truly.
"When man can “wish without worrying,” every desire will be instantly fulfilled...fear must be erased from the consciousness. It is man’s only enemy – fear of lack, fear of failure, fear of sickness, fear of loss and a feeling of insecurity on some plane -
we must substitute faith for fear, for fear is only inverted faith; it is faith in evil instead of good. The object of the game of life is to see clearly one’s good and to obliterate all mental pictures of evil. This must be done by impressing the subconscious mind with a realization of good. "= Florence Scovel Shinn.
Wednesday, March 06, 2019
'Wish You Were Here."- a Tribute.
As I listen to Pink Floyd's"Wish you were Here" for the countless time, the music still trans port into s sublime sense of feeling, almost spiritual, it is like listening to cry of my soul in anguish and ecstasy both at the same time. The first time I listened to the album i had just arrived back from a trip to the South West states of New Mexico, Arizona and Colorado to the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay. It was at the, students apartments where three Thai foreign students were staying at together. I was so tired and beaten after the long drive through all three states in what was a 1965 Chevy Impala that all smashed up on the passenger side from a freak accident while I was driving on Highway 666 between Galkup and Durango in the dead od night headed for Denver, Colorado. I had laid down on their living room floor with large earphones lugged to my ears and my head spinning gently from a few shots od Brandy, I was introduced to Pink Floyd and I passed out while the music still went on in my head.
A Few years later when I returned to Malaysia doing the same school projects during my final semester sometime in 1979-80, I was able to visit my twin brother in Kucing, Sarawak on the Island of Borneo, The first thing he did was to play his recently purchased album of "Wish You Were Here", for my benefit. I smiled to myself within me and enjoyed the music while playing around with his daughter on the carpet floor; my twin and I rarely gets along and so moments like these were special.for me at least. Some music have a life of their own that can carry one along for a very long time; like a good Jake's Pizza on Main Street Downtown Green Bay, the taste never left your consciousness. What were the chances that my twin brother would have chosen this same particular album when in our entire life we had never sit and share any good music in the same room together. It is said that music can transport one to greater heights of ecstasy or even spiritual rapture; this album always does it for me.
A Few years later when I returned to Malaysia doing the same school projects during my final semester sometime in 1979-80, I was able to visit my twin brother in Kucing, Sarawak on the Island of Borneo, The first thing he did was to play his recently purchased album of "Wish You Were Here", for my benefit. I smiled to myself within me and enjoyed the music while playing around with his daughter on the carpet floor; my twin and I rarely gets along and so moments like these were special.for me at least. Some music have a life of their own that can carry one along for a very long time; like a good Jake's Pizza on Main Street Downtown Green Bay, the taste never left your consciousness. What were the chances that my twin brother would have chosen this same particular album when in our entire life we had never sit and share any good music in the same room together. It is said that music can transport one to greater heights of ecstasy or even spiritual rapture; this album always does it for me.
Monday, March 04, 2019
Which you prefer- Oak or Bamboo
"Remember the growth of a believer is not like a mushroom - but like an oak, which increases slowly indeed - but surely. Many suns, showers and frost pass upon it before it comes to perfection And in winter when it seems to be dead - it is gathering strength at the roost. Be humble, watchful and diligent in the means and endeavor to look through it all and fixed your eyes upon the Lord of Creation and all shall be well." - John Newton.
Someone posted the above quote on Face Book and I though it seems to hit a chord in me and so i am reflecting upon it to see how far or how near i am in keeping my original intention in focus. I must admit the the past few weeks has been sluggish as far getting much done that is worth mentioning and the living environment is again not so conducive for any deep contemplation or meditation; the ceiling is flaking off like snow due to a leak in the water tank above me. So I am kept busy sweeping and dusting and a little worried about my health having to breath the dust, but it is all taken care of by the Landlord although it takes time. I also have not been physically active and spend most of my time on the PC entertaining Face Book friends, people i hardly know but got to know better after all the postings back and forth. I enjoy getting a little involved with what is going on around me just to keep my mind a little occupied with the day to day activities of life out there. I realize that i cannot stay in my self made cave detached from the world and humanity.
I spend many hours listening to talks and debates on the You Tube especially on the subject of Spirituality, Science and Religion, it is like listening to college lectures; the beauty of the Internet. When I am really bogged down I would watch a movie or two, God I can sit and watch movies all day if i want to, but i choose to read novels as i also enjoy reading, and then there is Furby, the cat who thinks I am her servant and closest friend, but she keeps me company even as I am writing this down. The little things in life that we do to keep our mind occupied rather than allow it to wander off thinking of unhealthy thoughts or simply fall half asleep in a stupor allowing for depression to creep in. It is these minor day to day vexations that one has to be very mindful of in order to stay on course while on this journey, they can rob you of your accumulated achievements or make for regression.
There is always room to educate and revitalize the mind through further studies and deeper observations of one's day to day life while at the same time maintaining one;s course of action and activities giving it your utmost attention and best effort, The most vexing and taxing venture in living is in dealing with other humans regardless of who the are, the closer they are related to you, the harder. The sense of responsibility and commitment towards my daughter has kept me gong on in this my present moment, keeping myself in the confines of this apartment. There is not much to complain really in as far as comfort is concern, it is very quiet being on the top most floor with only one neighbor next door who is hardly around and when home keeps herself locked up. My daughter works most of the day and so i have the whole place to myself, and what more can I ask for. However i fell the yearn to wander again, to travel the county like I did in the past. my strength and if I may I say, wisdom comes from meeting great mind and while experiencing hardships and awakening experiences while on the road. I have much yet to learn I feel inside me of what the road and the path has to offer in as far as my inner development and spiritual growth is concern. BUt I do feel an inner sense of peace and tranquility like when in the middle of a hurricane.
Yes I have to be like the oak tree and brave the weather and accept my timely growth in inner and outer being, especially in the dead of winter when everything is in a chill factor I have to keep alive and growing. I have to keep watchful eye on my progress and digress as life happens and act accordingly.for my own health and well being.
"Solitude for me is a fount of healing which makes my life worth living. Talking is often a torment for me and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words." - C.Jung.
Someone posted the above quote on Face Book and I though it seems to hit a chord in me and so i am reflecting upon it to see how far or how near i am in keeping my original intention in focus. I must admit the the past few weeks has been sluggish as far getting much done that is worth mentioning and the living environment is again not so conducive for any deep contemplation or meditation; the ceiling is flaking off like snow due to a leak in the water tank above me. So I am kept busy sweeping and dusting and a little worried about my health having to breath the dust, but it is all taken care of by the Landlord although it takes time. I also have not been physically active and spend most of my time on the PC entertaining Face Book friends, people i hardly know but got to know better after all the postings back and forth. I enjoy getting a little involved with what is going on around me just to keep my mind a little occupied with the day to day activities of life out there. I realize that i cannot stay in my self made cave detached from the world and humanity.
I spend many hours listening to talks and debates on the You Tube especially on the subject of Spirituality, Science and Religion, it is like listening to college lectures; the beauty of the Internet. When I am really bogged down I would watch a movie or two, God I can sit and watch movies all day if i want to, but i choose to read novels as i also enjoy reading, and then there is Furby, the cat who thinks I am her servant and closest friend, but she keeps me company even as I am writing this down. The little things in life that we do to keep our mind occupied rather than allow it to wander off thinking of unhealthy thoughts or simply fall half asleep in a stupor allowing for depression to creep in. It is these minor day to day vexations that one has to be very mindful of in order to stay on course while on this journey, they can rob you of your accumulated achievements or make for regression.
There is always room to educate and revitalize the mind through further studies and deeper observations of one's day to day life while at the same time maintaining one;s course of action and activities giving it your utmost attention and best effort, The most vexing and taxing venture in living is in dealing with other humans regardless of who the are, the closer they are related to you, the harder. The sense of responsibility and commitment towards my daughter has kept me gong on in this my present moment, keeping myself in the confines of this apartment. There is not much to complain really in as far as comfort is concern, it is very quiet being on the top most floor with only one neighbor next door who is hardly around and when home keeps herself locked up. My daughter works most of the day and so i have the whole place to myself, and what more can I ask for. However i fell the yearn to wander again, to travel the county like I did in the past. my strength and if I may I say, wisdom comes from meeting great mind and while experiencing hardships and awakening experiences while on the road. I have much yet to learn I feel inside me of what the road and the path has to offer in as far as my inner development and spiritual growth is concern. BUt I do feel an inner sense of peace and tranquility like when in the middle of a hurricane.
Yes I have to be like the oak tree and brave the weather and accept my timely growth in inner and outer being, especially in the dead of winter when everything is in a chill factor I have to keep alive and growing. I have to keep watchful eye on my progress and digress as life happens and act accordingly.for my own health and well being.
"Solitude for me is a fount of healing which makes my life worth living. Talking is often a torment for me and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words." - C.Jung.
Saturday, March 02, 2019
If you do not believe-does it hurt God?
Does God exist and till this day the great minds of the intellectual and religious, the scientific and philosophical are hard at it ,each trying to out proof the other. The likes of the late Christopher Hitchen is most probably right now still adamant of his atheistic stand making his justification before whatever that he is experiencing and off course he is not convincing, not to anything nor to himself either. When you have spent just about half your life justifying something, you end up with not being convinced whether you are right or wrong. To be truly committed to your belief or faith or whatever standing you have, you need not justify once you start to justify it means you are not positive yourself of what it is that you stand for anymore.Atheist like Hitchen, Dawkins. and a host other scientific minded nonbelievers who appear on You Tube videos giving their spill about their take on religion often sounds knowledgeable and fluent about what they talk about. They can kill an opponent point for point and this is simply because of repetition. When you have been doing something often enough you are bound to become good at it and gets better all the time. Sometimes they quote themselves word for word from one talk to another like they have ran out of ideas and the audience if they had been following these individuals often enough would recoil at the tedium of it all; oh no! not this same old line of argument again! Off curse the latest usage of the same ideas has become perfected in their delivery that will send the audience applauding to the ceiling; it is all showmanship when all is said and debated.
God has no problem whether you believe in His existence or not, does He? Do you think it would bother the All Seeing Omnipotent, Lord of Creation if you decide that he does not exist when the rest of the billions have some faith in Him in one form or another. And what have you got to loose if you harbor some small sense of humility and acknowledge that there is by chance a Being greater than life that you can turn to when all else is not functioning accordingly. As a Muslim, I always as often as I can remember, to ask my Lord to protect me against my own ego, my own desires, my own ignorance and so forth. Perhaps He listens and comply, perhaps He is too busy elsewhere, but I know for sure that on my own I could not have survived these seventy years without taking my own life or worse; taking the life of another. As a Buddhist practitioner, I would like to abide by the laws of Karma, that I reap what i sow and keep evolving till I learn better and overcome all my karmic consequences and attain self liberation. I do not see anything right or wrong in how I choose my path towards my own salvation, whatever that entails, I believe in an Oft forgiving, Merciful Lord of Love and Compassion and not a wrathful deity out to punish one every chance He Gets. Nope if a man decides he does not believe in God, it does not hurt God in any way.
God has no problem whether you believe in His existence or not, does He? Do you think it would bother the All Seeing Omnipotent, Lord of Creation if you decide that he does not exist when the rest of the billions have some faith in Him in one form or another. And what have you got to loose if you harbor some small sense of humility and acknowledge that there is by chance a Being greater than life that you can turn to when all else is not functioning accordingly. As a Muslim, I always as often as I can remember, to ask my Lord to protect me against my own ego, my own desires, my own ignorance and so forth. Perhaps He listens and comply, perhaps He is too busy elsewhere, but I know for sure that on my own I could not have survived these seventy years without taking my own life or worse; taking the life of another. As a Buddhist practitioner, I would like to abide by the laws of Karma, that I reap what i sow and keep evolving till I learn better and overcome all my karmic consequences and attain self liberation. I do not see anything right or wrong in how I choose my path towards my own salvation, whatever that entails, I believe in an Oft forgiving, Merciful Lord of Love and Compassion and not a wrathful deity out to punish one every chance He Gets. Nope if a man decides he does not believe in God, it does not hurt God in any way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
