Another Journey in the making.

When you are paying the rent for your apartment that is more than the monthly salary of the security guard  of the complex, you deserve a peace of mind where your living quarters is concern. But not where I am at,  Living at the top most floor of the 12 story building my daughter and I had to deal with a leaky water tank at the top most level of the building which causes the paint job on ceiling of our apartment to start flaking and drop on to the living room floor including all the table, couch and TV area and so forth. It ends up I had to sweep the floor five or six time a day just to be able to walk to our bedrooms without too much chalky paint material sticking at the bottom of our feet. This is the second time that this happens as it also happened for a few months last year.I must say it sucks but I made it my practice not to loose my cool and handled it while it lasted with a sense of patience and acceptance. It is not fair for my daughter to have to deal with this while the landloard just left for a vacation in Japan.

It is time for me however to take my leave of this place and seek God on the road again, at 70 it will be a challenge no doubt but it ia what makes me happy most, the freedom to be myself again not having to care for or answer to anyone other than me. My daughter is somewhat pretty stable no, with a great job and a beautiful apartment and a cat; leaving her now will not be a big worry. My son too is doing very well at his job and so not much to worry there too, yes I have been a worry wart these past few years over my children' well being and I think I have done more than enough and before It becomes too much for all concern, it is a great time to see the what else life has in store for me. I feel quite well physically and if I take it slow and easy i might be able to cover some distance and seek out some new places. 

I will carrying some art materials with me to do some sketching and water colors along the way, I hope it will be like the old days. I will try to keep this Blog running if and when I can find an excess to Internet. I hope everyone who knows me will accept my decision to be a wanderer as I have always been most of my life in the past, it is my way of staying active and alive, Heavens forbid if i meet my end on the road, so be it, I completely am ready to accept whatever the circumstances may be. Life is not worth living if one has no dream to fulfill and merely exist just to occupy space and one's feet nailed to the floor. It is even worse when you are being judged for being less than who you are and you are not pulling your weight, by your own children; it means you have dallied too long in one place. You have become a familiar character and as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Before  I become comfortably dependent upon this arrangement of my present state of being, it is best for me to make myself scarce and go for broke on this perhaps my last journey of self discovery...Who am I...truly.  

"When man can “wish without worrying,” every desire will be instantly fulfilled...fear must be erased from the consciousness. It is man’s only enemy – fear of lack, fear of failure, fear of sickness, fear of loss and a feeling of insecurity on some plane -
we must substitute faith for fear, for fear is only inverted faith; it is faith in evil instead of good. The object of the game of life is to see clearly one’s good and to obliterate all mental pictures of evil. This must be done by impressing the subconscious mind with a realization of good. "= Florence Scovel Shinn.