"Remember the growth of a believer is not like a mushroom - but like an oak, which increases slowly indeed - but surely. Many suns, showers and frost pass upon it before it comes to perfection And in winter when it seems to be dead - it is gathering strength at the roost. Be humble, watchful and diligent in the means and endeavor to look through it all and fixed your eyes upon the Lord of Creation and all shall be well." - John Newton.
Someone posted the above quote on Face Book and I though it seems to hit a chord in me and so i am reflecting upon it to see how far or how near i am in keeping my original intention in focus. I must admit the the past few weeks has been sluggish as far getting much done that is worth mentioning and the living environment is again not so conducive for any deep contemplation or meditation; the ceiling is flaking off like snow due to a leak in the water tank above me. So I am kept busy sweeping and dusting and a little worried about my health having to breath the dust, but it is all taken care of by the Landlord although it takes time. I also have not been physically active and spend most of my time on the PC entertaining Face Book friends, people i hardly know but got to know better after all the postings back and forth. I enjoy getting a little involved with what is going on around me just to keep my mind a little occupied with the day to day activities of life out there. I realize that i cannot stay in my self made cave detached from the world and humanity.
I spend many hours listening to talks and debates on the You Tube especially on the subject of Spirituality, Science and Religion, it is like listening to college lectures; the beauty of the Internet. When I am really bogged down I would watch a movie or two, God I can sit and watch movies all day if i want to, but i choose to read novels as i also enjoy reading, and then there is Furby, the cat who thinks I am her servant and closest friend, but she keeps me company even as I am writing this down. The little things in life that we do to keep our mind occupied rather than allow it to wander off thinking of unhealthy thoughts or simply fall half asleep in a stupor allowing for depression to creep in. It is these minor day to day vexations that one has to be very mindful of in order to stay on course while on this journey, they can rob you of your accumulated achievements or make for regression.
There is always room to educate and revitalize the mind through further studies and deeper observations of one's day to day life while at the same time maintaining one;s course of action and activities giving it your utmost attention and best effort, The most vexing and taxing venture in living is in dealing with other humans regardless of who the are, the closer they are related to you, the harder. The sense of responsibility and commitment towards my daughter has kept me gong on in this my present moment, keeping myself in the confines of this apartment. There is not much to complain really in as far as comfort is concern, it is very quiet being on the top most floor with only one neighbor next door who is hardly around and when home keeps herself locked up. My daughter works most of the day and so i have the whole place to myself, and what more can I ask for. However i fell the yearn to wander again, to travel the county like I did in the past. my strength and if I may I say, wisdom comes from meeting great mind and while experiencing hardships and awakening experiences while on the road. I have much yet to learn I feel inside me of what the road and the path has to offer in as far as my inner development and spiritual growth is concern. BUt I do feel an inner sense of peace and tranquility like when in the middle of a hurricane.
Yes I have to be like the oak tree and brave the weather and accept my timely growth in inner and outer being, especially in the dead of winter when everything is in a chill factor I have to keep alive and growing. I have to keep watchful eye on my progress and digress as life happens and act accordingly.for my own health and well being.
"Solitude for me is a fount of healing which makes my life worth living. Talking is often a torment for me and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words." - C.Jung.
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