Friday, May 03, 2019

Healing - My relationship with my Twin Brother.

There is saying in Malay, Air di cincang takkan terputus. or in English, no matter how much you chop up the water you can never split it in half, it will reconnect itself. I believe in this saying, the fact that my twin brother and will one day in our lives find peace and reconciliation at least before any one of us dies unexpectedly; it happens. We came into this world within half an hour of each other and he came out first and I became the seventh and the youngest in my family. I was given up for adoption to my mother's younger brother to be raised as his own son. My uncle was a Buddhist and had raised me as one while my brother was raised a Muslim by my immediate family. We were saperated at birth, this was primarily the cause of our not seeing eye to eye as we grew into adulthood. Forgiveness and reconciliation and unconditional acceptance in a relationship is a tough virtue to practice especially when the conflict has taken for so long to be resolved. This was what I felt when visiting my twin brother in Kuala Terengganu. Although born hardly half an hour apart, my brother and I never saw eye to eye and has always been at logger head with one another throughout our entire 70 years of life.It  has been one my if not our conundrum that had haunted me often carrying with it sadness and a sense of loss..

 
I have grown up with this mirror image of myself which is almost the opposite in character as well as outlook in life and I have made the major error of comparing ourselves instead of  cherishing our differences. However ihave also been emulating his stronger traits whenever I needed time to evaluate myself, not all of his ways are to my liking but most are worth emulating especially in ways of how one deals with life's more challenging situations; how would have my brother dealt with such an event or situation? I will not go into details of our  past experiences as it is what it is a thing of the past, but I look forward  to our relationship with greater hope for a healing process to develop and that we can become one whole and powerful individuals in facing our future from henceforth. As my daughter told me, one of the things my brother mentioned to her was that to let bygone be bygone and the two of us will look ahead to a better more healthy relationship. I am very glad that we visited and stayed with my twin brother and his wife last weekend, it was a significant change in both our lives  for the better. 

Exactly a week ago today we went to the mosque for the Friday prayed and i felt the bond between us being sealed as two souls that had occupied the same womb. I may not be as pious as he is but my heart felt like we it had been somewhat healed from the yearn for the love that I never felt for the past 70 years as brothers. It is a blessing and I hope and pray that nothing will stand in its way ever again as we head into our matured age. May Allah make us whole and complete again as we once were while in our mother's womb. It is with hope that i look into the future and the past while left behind will always be a great lesson for both of us in how we look at each other and from the opposite side of the mirror.


























 

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