Rambling on...

My religious spiritual and moral track record has been deplorable and I have much to account for before my Maker. All I have is the faith in Him for his compassionate mercy as He is oft Forgiving and Merciful, I hold this to be my Truth as i lived my life through good and bad , thick and thin. I was allowed to explore and experiment with my life, in order that I might come to a right understanding of the whole matter; my life. While living in the United States for twenty one years of my adult life I forgot God existed and became unholy. It has taken me over thirty years to arrive in this moment in the time of my life, to admit my errors and seek repentance and forgiveness. I have led a most exciting life full of  bad judgements and poor mistakes, but exciting none the less as it had led me to many parts of the world and i have met many interesting souls along the way. People who allowed me to be who i was then and shared their lives with me, I can never recount all the great moments in my life while living in the US. I have much to regret in my relationships but I will not rob the good from the bad and salt to insults. I gave as much as I took and it all worked out for all as it was best that i walked away when it was time to end a relationship. I was not prepared to be tied down by any single event in my life for too long; it was an unwritten rule.

Good or bad i detached myself from one lifestyle, environment or a relationship and move on to the next often with not an idea what or where i was headed. I thought that i was destined to wander from one life into another for the purpose of experiencing and learning from each circumstances and environment. I lived in Wisconsin for 8 years mostly in Green Bay where the winter is about the  coldest in the who of the United States. I lived for two years in the Aleutian Chain off Alaska in the the Bering Sea of The Pacific Northwest and then I lived for ten years in the Bay Area of San Francisco. All these places became my experimental grounds for survival and spiritual awakening. I found many 'Helpers' along the way whose kindness and love i could never repay; they kept me alive and my gratefulness goes out to all of them and may they find it in their hearts to forgive me for my transgressions towards them. They were my Teachers and Gurus, they helped me find my way..

Where did the idea of life being an experiment came from? I read it in the Life of Mahatma Gandhi book and it got stuck in my mind and this was when I was in College at UWGB, in Wisconsin. I started becoming more absorbed into spiritualism when I took a class on Comparative Religion under an elderly Professor named Mr. Elmer Havens who became a mentor and close friend with. Mr. Havens talked me into looking deeper into spirituality that I might find the answers to what i was looking for and thus began my journey of self discovery - Who am I? Thanks to my professor who popped the question into my head way back when in his little office one warm winter afternoon.Next door to his office was the office of another poffessor who had a strong into my life as a student, His class was called Interpersonal Communications, Mr. Jack Frisch was a part Native American and had a very  good sense of the ways of cultural understanding.I was invited to give three lectures throughout the semester for this class of some 90 students. It helped to build my self confidence not to be afraid to stand before an audience and present my thoughts and ideas. 

It is often said that life has no meaning,  I simply say that it is true, until you give it one. You can make life one hell of an experience or one hell of a long tedious and boring trip; the choice is yours. To make life a little more exciting one has to make drastic or radical moves, accept challenges and take a step forward when others retreat, to thread like a fool where angels would not dare. To take a leap of faith every now and then to be able to perform miracles when need be. To play it safe and within the comfort zone is not fully living, it is the making of wrong choices that lessons are learned about what is right or wrong. To walk a safe and comfortable path will lead you to the end allot faster, or so it seems, but traveling the road less taken can become a way for the seeker as it opens many doors and exposes one to a greater sense of being than one would normally believe. There is as the saying goes a whole lot of world to see and a great deal of stuff to learn if one is willing to embark upon a journey of self discovery, it is a journey of a lifetime to those who are awaken to its calling. Highs and the lows as we go through life are just the bumpy rides as we move forward towards our self seeking goals. There are small paths and highways and there are many rivers to cross, many mountains to climb,at the end of the day you might just find yourself; who you truly are; if not such Is, Life.