Stubborn old me!

There is a stubbornness in me that has always been the cause of my irrationality in the past and i used to have an explosive temper they say, my family relatives and friends. I was prone to being anger driven, I was a very angry young adult and it kept on into my later age. It got me into trouble every now and then but sometimes it also got me out of them. My weaknesses, my faults, my bad, I have had my fair share of the negative forces of my inner being that had cause grieve on the external relationships with others. I have committed many transgressions due to my inability to control my emotions. This i also regret for having allowed it to dominate my actions within and without. However I am also grateful for having had the opportunity to taste life form both sides of the divide, I feel blessed. by the Grace of the All Mighty that these experiences also helps to enrich my journey. I accept and acknowledge the fact that if I had been any different, my story would not be worth all the time spent on it. Stubborn as I am I am still abiding in the realm of consciousness that seeks itself, to merge with the All and become One with the Lord of Creations; this is my destination.

My journey has hardly began,  I am still groping in the dark seeking the help of others like me or better than I am, I am walking with my open heart towards the Throne of Consciousness Itself. My lower back still aches off and on and I still worry about my car dying out on me, same old same old, in the meantime. The cat is stuck on top of the awning grill and has problem getting down, one miss step she could end up twelve floors bellow, have been up there since last night, the drama continues. There are countless windows of experiences and projections that one can tap into at any given moment, they are like clouds that comes and goes, appear and disappear leaving no trace behind, these are what has been keeping us asleep accepting the illusion as the real. We crave for the ease and denies the hardship, we we are constantly comparing virtues one against another, I am more virtuous than you, I am more holier than than you; walk the path with caution stubborn or otherwise.

If you take a few dives along the way it is only to collect some manure for the compost pile, grist for the mill, litmus test of your inherent nature in coping with external vexations. You flare up, you get riled up you take a swing here and there!? What or how do you manage your emotions in times of dire need? Do you count one to ten or do you say Hail Marys, or do you simply takes it as it comes, observe and let it pass, let it all arises and simply watch with no attachment, psychologically or spiritually; let It reveals Itself. Patience is a very tough virtue to develop and meditation is one path the can lead to better understanding of the nature of your mind. Through meditation you reveal your innate nature, one that is sitting and facing your Divinity.