A Brief take on Death in Islam.

Two brothers whose job was to give the final ablution or bath to the dead according to Muslim ways in preparation for burial were themselves buried last Friday. They inherited their vocation handed down by their father and had been doing this most of their lives. They were in their fifties. The younger brother died sometime in the early morning and the elder brother washed his body to be buried that same morning and a littler in the evening the elder brother followed sooth and was buried the same evening. To die on a Friday is an auspicious sign for Muslims as Friday, like Sunday to the Christians, is a Holy day. These days preparation for the deceased is done at the Hospital if one dies at the hospital and if one dies at home than the deceased is taken care of by these religiously trained and equipped men and women. In islam, the deceased is put into the ground soonest possible unless there is a delay while waiting for family and relatives living far away to arrive and pay their last respects.

After the deceased is laid in the ground and covered over with earth, a religious imam or ustaz will performa short recitation of the verses from the Quran related the the event. At the end of the recitation the deceased will receive instructions of his or state of being dead and usually in Malay. That he is presently dead and in the realm of the grave or 'alam barzakh,'

" Barzakh designates a place between hell and heaven, where the soul resides after death, and experiences his own heaven or hell, until the resurrection on Qiyamah (Judgement Day).^[4] Barzakh may, according to Ghazali, also be the place for those, who go neither to hell or to heaven, resembling to the Christian concept of limbo.^[5]"

He will be told of being 'interviewed' by two angels,

Munkar and Nakir (Arabic: منكر و نكير‎) (English translation: "The Denied and The Denier") in Islamic eschatology, are angels who test the faith of the dead in their graves.

and thus begins his journey in the afterlife.

Note:

Kiraman Katibin. In Islamic tradition the two kiraman katibin (Arabic: كراماً كاتبين‎ "honourable scribes"), are two angels called Raqib and Atid, believed by Muslims to record a person's actions. ... The Book in which the angels are writing is the cumulative record of a given person's deeds.

Hence it is imperative that a Muslim, upon death has to be aware of his faith in the All Mighty and if he is able to surrender himself reciting the article of faith such as,

Innalillahi wainnalillahi rojiun

"The Messenger of God said: 'When a child of the servant died, God says to the angels: "Have you taken the fruits of his work." They reply: "Yes." So He says: "What did My servant say?" They reply: "He praised you and mentioned that to You is the return." So God says: "Build a house in Paradise for My servant, and name it 'the house of praise.'" [Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1021, Book 10, Hadith 57] ^[4]

he would not face any difficulty while in the the realm of the grave. I believe that Islam has laid out a plan for life in this world and the next. It may seem complex, yet it is simple when fully understood. it is a matter of one's practice in life and the faith one holds in God's Grace and Deliverance that will see through when a man passes on from one dimension into another. It is a test of how well tuned is the mind is with regard to the transition between life and death. A weak mind or and ignorant mind will falter and ends up in a confused state not able to discern what it is going through and thus falls into delusions. Whereas a mind that has been well versed and knowledgeable will walk without doubt towards its final destination.   

   







  

Where i came from there i will return.

After  reading and listening to so much different thoughts on mind and how to cope and live with it, I have come to the conclusion that the mind is like a lady, you can't live with her and you can't live without her. She is all you got and sometimes she can be too much to deal with. Don't get me wrong I adore women, perhaps too much and the cause of alot of my straying and transgressions, but all in all i am blessed to have known so many women in the most blissful ways. So with the women ans so with my mind, I am trying to make the truce with all these years of looking for answers, I am still lost for answers. I believe if the Good Lord does not want something to happen it would not and if he does it is for a reason and that reason is why I keep on writing as I can to set the matter of the mind straight; God's greatest gift to man is pure and unadulterated mind.

I believe the unadulterated mind was before Adam took a bite of the Apple in the Garden. By defying God's decree Adam was split into two, the Good and the Bad, the right and the wrong, the light and the dark; the Dual thinking mind. It got  worse as it went down to His children, Cain and Abel and the rest is ancient history or Biblical History. This is my limited understanding of the Genesis, it is a very crude and limited interpretation, but it is how i see it for now, how the mind i have today become what it is. It is like a split soul, a soul seeking to unite and become whole again. In the spirit of Yin and Yang, i need my counterpart to become well balanced in nature. However, I have been pretty much at loggerhead with my mind, pretty much the result of too much studying and listening to all the words of wisdom that I come across about my mind. 

Back at the Zen Monastery they are still asking questions like,"Who is asking? Who  wants to know?" and at the Tibetans are saying there is no such thing as 'Self', in fact the I is non existent. The Hindus are positive of the existence of the Atman, the ultimate soul, and they are all right in their own interpretations, it is up to me to make the final analysis and accept an understanding most conducive to own faith and belief. My soul is at stake and I have from the beginning of my journey accepted the fact that I am a servant of my Lord and Creator looking my way towards becoming one with Him, returning to my origination where I started from.

Innalillahi, wa innalillahi rojiun! 
From Him I come to Him T will return.   

At 8;30 this morning someone had posted a link 15 minutes Manifestation; the Editor? The balance between th right and left brain functions? Have i stumbled upon part of the answers to my questions? Hmmm.

"If the two makes peace with each other in the house, they will say to the mountain. " Move away!" and it will move away."
The Gospel of St. Thomas.

" Ask without hidden motives and be enveloped by your answer."
(Ask without the judgement, ask without the ego.).
"Be enveloped by what your desire."-
Hidden Teachings of the Bible - That explains Manifestation, Consciousness, & Oneness.

The first Step is the last..

How does one keep on getting motivated to write of paint or sing without giving up of feeling that it is all over, the end, no more to express and no new ideas or insights to share. Well one do not try to, motivation comes from doing something and as one keeps on ding it it becomes a motivation to do more and better, like a piece of art, you have to start doing it and the longer you put it off from starting the longer and harder you will find to create something. it does not matt really what it is that you have in mind to do but the moment your hand raise that paint brush or your finger touches the keyboard,, you are on your way as creative energy start to flow whenever there is conduit for it to do so. You can meditate and contemplate all you want but you have to make that initial move to act, to make things happen and with no hopes or expectations you just proceed to do so and the rest the mind will take over as the mind too is not happy not being able to be creative.

The key to healing one's body and mind it is said is in keep both in action or motion as much as possible and this is being studied and proven by neurologists and psychiatrists alike through the ages. The ind and body synchronicity is what keeps us in good health and spirit. No matter how bored or tired or fedup we are with our state of being, we can make a change by simply allowing for our body and mind to express itself in whatever form we are most comfortable with albeit art of music, gardening or hand gliding, it does not matter so long as it is done to keep the blood circulating better in the body and the mind occupied with whatever challenges tha arises from the activity, sometimes just taking a walk to nowhere can become a form of healing that is needed. Do not be afraid to leave your comfort zone and face what it is out there, this is one way to avoid your mind and body from atrophy.

atrophy

ˈatrəfi/

verb

1. 1.

   (of body tissue or an organ) waste away, especially as a result of the degeneration of cells, or become vestigial during evolution.

   "the calf muscles will atrophy"

   synonyms:

   waste away, waste, become emaciated, wither, shrivel, shrivel up, shrink, become shrunken, dry up, decay, wilt; More
2. 2.

   gradually decline in effectiveness or vigour due to underuse or neglect.

   "the imagination can atrophy from lack of use"

   synonyms:

   peter out, taper off, tail off, dwindle, deteriorate, decline, wane, fade, fade away, fade out, give in, give up, give way, crumble, disintegrate, collapse, slump, go downhill, draw to a close, subside; More

   
As I witness a few of my peers, some younger than me passes away i asked for their reasons and most i discovered has practically given up on their body and mind maintenance especially the inner engineering as Satguru Jagjit calls it. Most has given in to the idea of growing old is about spending time in the quiet of the the home and the family or at the coffee shops and the mosques and temples; which is okay too. But growing old to me is more than just accepting what is coming at the end of our days, it is making every effort and last attempts at digging out and uprooting all there is within you and express it out especially if it is all worth sharing. The most inspiring video on YouTube I have watched related to this is an old Chinese man dancing alongside his daughter with so much fluidity and charm that it woke up in me the spirit to emulate such a soul in my late age. So I kept up with my Sitting meditation and yoga stretches, my staff or Gayong stick exercises and my writing, my cooking and my sketching whenever i get the chance to, which I do most of the time. The most difficult thing is what the question asked in the beginning, like, how does one find that motivation to do it, to make the start.

"The Journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."
Lao Tzu. 

When your past catches up with you.

 I woke up from one of the most vivid and heart rendering dream of my life as it affected my first love, my childhood love and perhaps is still till this day. I had many dreams of  our relationship and i always felt sadness and a sense of loss when the dream is over. This morning I dreamt of being caught hiding in her room by the entire family or so it seemed, more like Romeo and Juliet kind of situation we had between us back then. I was not good enough for her and one of the reasons give to my face was that i was not of pure Malay blood. Ironic it was that she too was not as she was an adopted child, and the family that adopted her had her by force from her real parents who were back then was influential and wealthy. Being one of the most beautiful young lady I had the impression that she would be married off to a wealthy person. Fate would have it that she remained unmarried till today.

Skipping all the details, when we finally broke off i told her that i would marry the first lady that agrees to be my wife and I did at the age of twenty five. We pretty much lost contact since then except for my occasional visit to her house on festive days or there be a death in their family out of respect and friendship. perhaps it is pride that keeps us apart or perhaps there are unseen hands at work to keep us seperated. This is why the dream i had this morning was so vivid and strange as it involved the entire family that i knew of from the youngest ot the oldest. We were caught together in her room by a child named Lilly, one of her nieces, who is today married to a Swiss gentleman. I used to carry her around when she was a child some fifty years ago. In the dream she was screaming that i was in the room, I was hiding practically under the bed. I could hold her small hand in mine trying to quiet her and even pinched her fingers to shut her up but she persisted which brought everyone into the room looking for me. Needless to say I was scared shitless as I saw legs of young adults massing around the bed. My girlfriend even tried to cover me up with the sheet hanging down from the bed but to no avail.

I gave up, in today's parlance I would have said .fuck this, and got up and dashed down a wide and tall stairway by sliding down the handrails as fast as I could. Than as I was trying to escape I was swiped off my feet by the patriarch of the family, her adopted mother. She was already old at the time and in the dream she was the same old lady everyone feared for many reasons. She grabbed a hold of me and wrapped her hands around my head with my face buried in her bosom and I was lying on top of her not able to move. Then I felt her blowing hot air on to the top of my head as she was reciting something to herself, uttering at times my child, my child, in Malay offcourse. One of the older sisters came to my feet and started stroking them saying comfort words that made me felt safe rather than scared. Voices standing by could be heard saying like theirs is an unconditional love and so forth and i felt sadness wrapped my being. I felt forgiven and I woke up with a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes to the morning or subuh prayer from the loud speaker of the State Mosque near my home.

I skipped allot of details to my dream as it is not worth sharing unless one knows the characters involved, but the gist of it is that my relationship to my childhood Love still haunts me big time anf my subconscious mind is telling me to resolve it as it is the key perhaps to my happiness after all these years. I often am caught in a melancholic episode and knows not why, sometimes i feel like this is the reason as my heart was once shattered and never got repaired. I prayed to the All Mighty after sitting up from my dream asking for forgiveness in this episode of my past and i also asked for guidence and help to make things right before i die. If possible i would like to be joined in matrimony with my childhood love so that we can become whole again even if we are now turning seventy. or is it just another dream within dreams?

, 

Stubborn old me!

There is a stubbornness in me that has always been the cause of my irrationality in the past and i used to have an explosive temper they say, my family relatives and friends. I was prone to being anger driven, I was a very angry young adult and it kept on into my later age. It got me into trouble every now and then but sometimes it also got me out of them. My weaknesses, my faults, my bad, I have had my fair share of the negative forces of my inner being that had cause grieve on the external relationships with others. I have committed many transgressions due to my inability to control my emotions. This i also regret for having allowed it to dominate my actions within and without. However I am also grateful for having had the opportunity to taste life form both sides of the divide, I feel blessed. by the Grace of the All Mighty that these experiences also helps to enrich my journey. I accept and acknowledge the fact that if I had been any different, my story would not be worth all the time spent on it. Stubborn as I am I am still abiding in the realm of consciousness that seeks itself, to merge with the All and become One with the Lord of Creations; this is my destination.

My journey has hardly began,  I am still groping in the dark seeking the help of others like me or better than I am, I am walking with my open heart towards the Throne of Consciousness Itself. My lower back still aches off and on and I still worry about my car dying out on me, same old same old, in the meantime. The cat is stuck on top of the awning grill and has problem getting down, one miss step she could end up twelve floors bellow, have been up there since last night, the drama continues. There are countless windows of experiences and projections that one can tap into at any given moment, they are like clouds that comes and goes, appear and disappear leaving no trace behind, these are what has been keeping us asleep accepting the illusion as the real. We crave for the ease and denies the hardship, we we are constantly comparing virtues one against another, I am more virtuous than you, I am more holier than than you; walk the path with caution stubborn or otherwise.

If you take a few dives along the way it is only to collect some manure for the compost pile, grist for the mill, litmus test of your inherent nature in coping with external vexations. You flare up, you get riled up you take a swing here and there!? What or how do you manage your emotions in times of dire need? Do you count one to ten or do you say Hail Marys, or do you simply takes it as it comes, observe and let it pass, let it all arises and simply watch with no attachment, psychologically or spiritually; let It reveals Itself. Patience is a very tough virtue to develop and meditation is one path the can lead to better understanding of the nature of your mind. Through meditation you reveal your innate nature, one that is sitting and facing your Divinity.  

It is about Life and Karma they say..

In one of my conversations with my Mind was while looking overlooking the whole panoramic view of a major pa out my window of Georgetown, stretching all the way to the sea and the hills to my right and the city enter to my right. I observed what my thoughts were as i watched, first though that came was, I cannot tell whether it is haze or rain in the distant anymore.. It is extra foggy out there this morning. I said to myself I hope that it is raining over there, rain is good, rain is purifying and even if it floods ever now and then it is part of the general purification, nature's wake up call to say," Hey! enough is enough! " As this was running through me i suddenly realized that I was being negative, or feeling negative energies creeping into the equation. I said out loud, to myself really,"Hey buddy why can't we quit this negativity, this craving for more pain and more inconveniences, what's wrong with projecting positive and colorful images, something worth sharing with the rest of the world?I was addressing my own Mind, I am talking to myself!" No answer.

Regrets? I will never forgive myself for not being able to sit by my wife's grave and tell her how sorry I am for having let her go with the children back to the United State to be taken care of by the American Medical Doctors as her mother had requested, and could not follow them because of the US Immigration policy back then. I regret having brought her and my children to a country that i thought was going to be our home. I regret having failed to accept the futility that had taken my wife's life. I regret that i had failed as a man in taking care of her needs within and without. I had left it up to the people and the environment to shape them, to be their teachers. I have the feeling that I have not done too bad with my adult children now and for the late wife, it is  a very long story and one best buried with her. I Love and Adore my wife in my own way one of the promises I made to her before she left for her mom was that, I would make the children grow up okay. I have tried to stop justifying my actions a long time ago, but every now and then it hits me like a ton of bricks from nowhere...WHAM! Hi, remember me? So where does this originate from Mind? What triggered it off? Why this now? Any significance the miss and anniversary or something? Thank you anyway! 

I guess anything goes and at any moment things change, the dramas change the episodes adds on, the mirror images pops up everywhere asking the same question, who am I? A vicious circle like the dog catching its tail, and this too is alright, at least having a better understanding and it makes it a little easier to carry on. What would I give to be complete oblivious to my pains and sorrows, what would i give to feel the sense of lightness of being, sense of peace and equanimity? Must i have to keep picking myself up from every stumble that I have made from my past actions? Karma! So this is it, it is all about Karmic consequences and I am long overdue to face mine. Lay it on me, tell me something that I don't already know, something that make it still worthwhile to look into this experiment we have about life. 

to be contd.    

Rambling on...

"These three alone stands, Faith Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love"...Rumi. Was it Rumi, or was it Mooji, can't tell the difference anymore, too many people talking and saying things that is meant to wake you up and what you find is they are putting you to sleep even further. Like, here's a pillow and the remote control, just lay back and chill; tomorrow is another day and another dollar. The Way of the salary man, honorable and disciplined, one           upmanship, who could make better and corner the market,  The way of the sleep walkers filing along into cubicles like trained cockroaches and at the end of the day all file out and head for wife and kids and it is alright too cause that is just the way it is for all of us, we are stuck in a rut and we have to pry our way out of it and head on into something worthwhile to live for. Some higher ideal, some spiritual satisfaction, some realization of who or what one is in the scheme of things. How does I fit into all this and for what purpose?

I used to ask these questions time and again putting them in varied ways so as to see if any makes sense, like what is truth or reality or would Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theressa or the Dalai Lama for that matter go to a Muslim Hell when they die? Like why create the devil in the first place? Yes, questions that just about every man in his right mind would be asking and demanding an explanation simply his souls is on the line. The question of Hope and Faith and the question of Love and Compassion, it is all up there for those looking for answers, The blind will pass by this life with never a thought of such issues and they are the blessed for they are free from doubt and expectations. For those who had embark upon this journey of looking in and looking out, it will always be an ongoing quest for Right Understanding of the workings of Universe itself in relation to the workings of the Spirit or Soul. The essence of that which is the sustainer of it all, the Lord of Power, The Source, The
Infinite and Ultimate Consciousness Itself; call It by what name you may. I will always say this to myself because I believe a man is entitled to his faith and belief in life; this sacrosanct in the annals of man.

Yes I am and have always been asking the questions of Faith and religions, philosophical as well as scientific aspects of my life, to look for answer or answers to the basic reality about my existence, it is not a fad or a joke or an obsession or a way to gain attention, but it could be all of these too and then some. I have taken a hold of a burning ball of fire in my hands that is my 'koan' my 'jihad', my journey on this Planet. This is my way of making my pilgrimage towards the Throne of my Lord; I call it my Way. If praying five times a day is of help to me I would try ten a day and if i am in the mosque and it helps me i would camp in it. Perhaps i  am lazy, the worse of all illness to inflict man, then have committed a sin of being lazy towards carrying out my precepts. I pray for my salvation with every breath i take, yes I am aware of my shortcomings and at the very least learn to accept and ask for the Lord's Grace and Compassion. I am on my way home, I am my sacred path towards that from which I had come, the owner of it all, I am performing the final stages of my pilgrimage, I am winding down and like a coin spinning slowly before it drops; I am going home.  I would like to know why I was spinning around like this even if to find  a single truth just before i drop dead to the floor. Some may say this is naive foolishness or might as well be fishing instead of wasting time thinking so much, and this may be true too.
At my age i cannot to dwell too much anymore on the whys and the why nots, I am immersed into this journey and it is a big rut that i can only step out of by my own self realization.






    

Discussions with my Mind - 3

As the Mahatma Gandhi is said to have said,"My life is an experiment," and so is mine ever since I read this quote it stuck to me, I am experimenting with my life and my blog is part of the ongoing record i keep over the years like an autobiography just for posterity. It is also a process of self healing through introspections and meditations,  mindfulness observations and simple bare attention. It all started off with this naive need to understand who I am when i was in my thirties and discovering a whole lot of writers and teachers who helped to guide me along the way; i created who I am through my travels and my experiences, my relationships and through my passion for the truth and my thirst for knowledge and wisdom. Naive as it may sound, these factors were embedded in my mind from a very early age. I was born and raised in a community where it was and still is a multi-racial, multi-religious environment. I was very sensitive in my perceptions and has always been an artist since i was child. My mind as a child was filled with images and thoughts and beliefs that were born from ignorance and delusions so much so that sometimes i feel how come it has not exploded yet.

For it being so resilient and still sharp as it seems, I am honored to have had it as my close companion, my shadow. We may keep on stepping on each other's toes but i believe we will get there, where ever there is. "Ihdinas siratal mustaqim," or through the straight and narrow path towards the Throne of the Lord, or to achieving complete enlightenment or simply to just awaken from this sleepy  zombie state of existence. What a waste it would be to finally come to an end and not know why and for what in the first place. To die in ignorance is not an option in my experiment, I hope to find the conclusion as to what I was alive in the first place. It is not a demand with arrogance but a wish to accomplish something I have set out to do. Before i finally close my eyes I would like to be able to write my conclusive chapter, my final entry.  

It is the most difficult thing in life to wash away all the sins and transgressions one has committed in the past, they will ride your back till you break. And this I have to accept as i know i carry a heavy burden on my back. I sometimes feel like a human garbage truck on the way to the dumpsite called Nirvana. I create my life story as i go along. I am like the sculpture of a man hammering and chiseling his way free from the block of granite at his thighs. It impressed me till today of such a powerful image of achieving liberation. I am the artist who paints what God wants him to paint,  

I created an image whereby God and me had a Man to man talk before He decided to send me down to join the rest of humanity. He said to me, "Here is your canvas, go and paint me your life. Make it as exciting as you want or as boring, we will talk about it when we meet again." I was born to be an artist and have proven myself so in more than one ways. But what is it, really, Being and artist? Answering for myself, being an artist means to have the courage to dive deep into your heart and uncover that which is what it takes to become creative. I use my talent as a tool for my self discovery purposes, I observe myself through my creative or sometimes destructive processes; art is a meditation to me, just as this writing is. The main purpose in producing artworks is to communicate, to share, to come to an understanding of one another. As an artist I feel the need to follow through with my chosen path and while in the process share my experiences with others for what it is worth. This basically is how I feel about being and artist, than again, today we have all kinds of artist, most talented in what they do, sometimes you get your mind blown away just looking at the great works done from all over the world and you think to yourself, glad i stuck to my style.

I like to look at myself as an artist of life,or i live the artist's life and it is an ongoing project that i am working on; myself. I have enjoyed my life pretty much the good and the not so, well what can I say it is all part and parcel of an education of the lessons in life, like, don't talk about what you never experience for yourself, it will always sound fake. Telling the truth and not the whole truth about one self is another form of shirking from the commitment towards being up and open in this experiment. Telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth should will always be the way, even if it causes pain and discomfort; truth is painful. I stopped seeking for answers now as I found that they are and will always be within me, I am the answer to all that is and that will ever be; I am the Whole, I am complete and perfect, strong and powerful, loving and compassionate, harmonious and happy! and I can do what i Will to do. InshAllah! So i stopped looking. I stopped looking just not too long ago, just a week or two I think, that's when i started talking to my mind, having this one on one discussions about the what and the whys of us being what we are and what can be done is much 
about it.

Start noticing how many negative thoughts passe through your consciousness at any give time and you will start to notice the fact that your mind ad you better get to know one another more closely. it sounds weird but look further into it and you will find it makes for life to be simpler to understand and more productively so. To create a monumental piece of work, one has to practically sell your soul to the devil; I don't have the desire nor the guts to make it so and for what? However my passion as a an artist will always be a ball of flame in my tummy, I burn inside in order to generate more intense energy to my forge in order that i may melt my ego into submission, only to learn that it is a futile and oxymoron kind of approach. I lack egotistical tendency that an artist carrie as his personal credit, the ego when applied in good taste will promote  better confidence, if and when needed.  

To be Contd.   

      



.

Discussions with my Mind - 2

As I was saying, how come Mind, that we together have neglected out duty towards this body that house us? Our Home, our sanctuary, wherein as they say lies the temple of the Living God. How come it is slowly falling apart? Off course it is not too bad compared to many under similar circumstances, but still how can we do better Mind and Spirit, if I my call myself as such for the sake of communication. Where the body is concern we have already established that Breath is the essence and the spine holds up the Universe, shortness of breath can cause you to death and all that. We have established the fact that through proper breathing one can manage the flow of energy all through the body and this has been pretty much the practice on a daily basis. What I am wondering, Mind, is how can we take the next step forward towards freedom and the light of wisdom, how can we claim that which is inherently ours? To hold the Light in your hands at your breast, the light will cast away all shadows, they said, what is this light Mind?

I know I am getting overly excited in sharing what i feel with you Mind and yes i do get carried away sometimes, high drama and all. Talking nonsense about God and Creation and so forth, like I am some self righteous Guru, preaching what everyone knows already and don't know how to quit; trapped in the loop of ignorance. How do we step out of this looP? Analogy of the car, yes Mind, I understand its wisdom and am mindful to take care of my vehicle, like making sure it runs good and there is gas in the tank. To treat it with care and dignity making sure that everything is in alignment and well balanced. Good supply of energy from the battery and maximum level of engine oil and water for the cooling system. And failing to observe these simple requirement can jeopardize your vehicle, your mode of getting from here to there with ease; same goes to the body and then some. Thank you, I will be more mindful in matters concerning the body as I would the car.  

Does the mind has any authority over the workings of the physical body that it can raise the standard of performance to a greater height? For instance the flow of blood to all parts of the body or the way the brain cells functions or simply how does the heal itself when it is in pain. I realize that these questions are simplistic and the answers are apparent, but for the sake of clarification and better understanding, how does or can the Mind manage the workings of the body to its fullest potential. At least having lived for almost seventy years, I really hope to see that my body and mind and me have not lived in vain. We have put to use all our resources for the benefit of making life a little more meaningful and there is a purpose to it all. 

At one of my 'Dokusan' with the late Dainin Katagiri Roshi abbot,St Paul Zen Center in Minnesota,  he asked me what my intentions were  and I told him that to discover my true being, who am I? Be yourself he said, you are already there. 

My discussions with my mind.-1

After all these years of kidding myself, I have come to realize that i am in love with ,my mind. After all it is the only one I have and it really has not been too bad to me considering the things i have done good and bad the dreams I have been able to fulfill and the fact that i am not living on the Gaza Strip as a Palestinian kid. Drinking "Heaven and Earth" Jasmine tea from the bottle and listening to Kitaro on the earphones, what more can one ask for? Off course a whole lot more and should by our divine right if one wants to look at it from the mind's perspective, what you reach for is far greater than that you can ever imagine but the veil of ignorance hides this from you and so yes, to be satisfied with that which you have is a virtue, but it is also a fictitious understanding that you have' a product of the mind.  

So i officially declaring myself a schizoid. I talk to my mind as another entity, apart from myself and at present I am trying to make up become well acquainted with my mind. I am terribly sorry to have disappointed all those who read my Blog for having wasted your time and intelligence following a journey into a blind alley. I am talking to my mind admitting that the mind and I should become good friends, get to know one another and stop being at logger head and shutting down one another for no good reason. No set rules but just simple common sense for the good of both parties like a win win situation. All it takes is simple step getting closer to understanding ourselves and  each other, I heard me saying this morning, who are you and who am I? How come there is you and there is me? For as long as i can remember there has always been you by my side and yet i have always feared and doubted you and why I cannot understand and so i keep asking myself, Who am I? What is this that is a part of me projecting itself in thoughts formations, sometimes rational and good and sometimes otherwise, and often times I feel like I have no control over it?

All through my years of rambling, telling how it is  and how it was, my ups and downs, my trials and tribulations, all of these have come to one simple conclusion; know thy mind and not know thyself first. All those who have understood their minds, raise your hands! Not me i must admit and i intend to make it my practice henceforth towards becoming closely attached to my mind. I will sit before my mind like disciple before a teacher and learn all there is to learn about the mind, how it works and why it works the way it does. I will tell the mind what i think and how i think and how we can come together create same thoughts for the benefit of of the rest rest of humanity.got to have a reason for doing something, a virtue would be nice, afterall it is and has always been a spiritual quest. It is about understanding of one's Dharma position in life,the platform that you stand on in order to become one with the whole of humanity if not the Universe itself. WOW! Thats is when the mind gets going, or was it me?  

What is the Dharma position you ask. The very unconditional principle that you stand by as you project who you are to the 
Universe, that which is out there, the sights the the taste the touch the smell...you name it. How does the mind relate itself to all it perceives, all that it absorbs from the thoughts and mental formations of countless souls that have inhabit this Planet? How does the mind relate to human relationships and the day to day, walk of life with all the psycho emotional tags attached to most of them? If all these as they say is mind created, why? Why create hardships and miseries? Why the harping on to negative vibes and issues rather than focussing upon positive an d creative ones. Why can't it be that mind become more productive and less destructive, become more supportive instead of creating mental blocks towards every making life a little more simple and easy going. Age is catching up, the old principle of impermanence, time is of the essence, if not not now when? 

So lets have a good chat mind, you and me, I too will have to think for the sake of this communication, otherwise nothing will make any sense. One has to make it as simple as possible like I ask mind, why does a human mind bent on doomsday and destruction, chaos and mayhem, what makes mind attracted to negative side of nature, human or otherwise. Alright I will not get carried away, lets us take a closer look,Mind, henceforth I will capitalize your name, Mind just so we are on equal platform all the way through; an even playing field. What of the body? We are both not doing too good at caring for it are? This body, this physical form, it is what keeps us together, don't you think so Mind? What do we do about this body going to pieces slowly but surely? The Body, should be our primary concern if we are to survive this life with much ease and less effort, like go with the flow as the old ones used to say. We cannot stop decay and degeneration, we cannot stop the scourge of time, but together we can maintain,  conserve and preserve what is left, instead of over indulging ourselves in all forms of habit that are contrary to otherwise.

To be Contd.   

  

Hello Darkness My old Friend.

A part of me woke up thinking this is it with the Internet and the whole load of collecting more garbage for the outside or even writing more non sense to make make sense. Yes i woke up with a better feeling about getting myself refigured and calibrated, like it is time for a major change. Off course the mind went into a hyper gear of thoughts and ideas to suggest with and soon i find myself bogged down again with the same old routine of mental juggling with old recipes and never ending what ifs. Yes, the mind, as I trudge along towards giving up my attachments and clinging on to, the more the mind stirs with even greater zest to invest itself into my being claiming a strangle hold on my conscious efforts to change for the better. Understanding the working of the mind is more than a lifelong effort, it is as the Muslim understands it to be a Jihad, a fight to the death in defence of one's faith or one's life and honor, only this fight is an inner fight between the higher consciousness and the dual thinking mind; the Ego or Nafs.

The mind is not something you just can give up on, it is ever with you every second of your day, hammering away with tenacity, bombarding you with thoughts and ideas, perceptions and impulses, feelings and dreams; it is your shadow. You cannot remove your shadow except by being engulfed in the light, fully enlightened. The shadow appears every time the light is blocked by a solid form; the I or the you. For so long as you are present thoughts will form and the mind is at work. When there is no I or me to identify with there is no thought formations, for there is none to acknowledge it, no mirror or no block. Remove the I and the equation is incomplete and the mind is silent. Talking about it is one thing, getting to accomplishing it another story. This is why throughout human history very few attain to enlightenment or become completely awakened, most of us walk in the shadows of our mental scapes.

What's wrong with it? Mind feeds on our emotions like a parasite and gives us a migraine to begin with. Mind projects more than what is there and creates unnecessary confusion leading to being trapped into delusions, but most of us has accepted this ever since we started to think. Mind enjoys dwelling more on the negative side of life than the positive, it exaggerates an event more than it really is. You feel a pain in your chest and you think it is a heart attack; mind think of the worse of any given scenario when something unwanted happens and sometime even before it happens. Most of us has been so used to it that we take such thing for granted, it is just the way we are; it is just who I am.

This acceptance is universal as most of humanity has become insensitive towards the workings of the human mind, most of us are embedded into the matrix of the collective mental state when command and control, violence and ignorance are a common theme for our existence and we gave up asking why. Why is life so full of pain and suffering for the most of humanity, why do we put up with ourselves for allowing what is happening to us go unchecked. We make feeble efforts for the most part and live merely to survive life rather than to embrace it with unconditional joy. We live in denial of our shortcomings, our fragility, and our ignorance; we live in the shadow of that which dictates our emotions and actions, we are living at the mercy of our own mental projections.

By making these observations about my self and how i perceive my mind working every minute of the day, it is my intention to find a middle way of how to make my mind become more understandable and more positive in its projections towards every experience I encounter, every challenge i face and every motion I take. This has helped me in dealing with lessening my anger and other issues that I had in the past. I am able to better control my emotions and I feel I am looking at a brighter day everytime I wake up in the morning. Be as it may, I am still struggling to keep this harmonious state of being from slipping away everytime I become careless or negligent, or simply too lazy to keep up with my practice especially in meditation and contemplation..The shadow gets stronger and I am still lost in the darkness of my own ignorance, I am still lost in my own lack of faith and understanding of who I truly am, 

Mind o mind when can we stop being stupid?! When can we reveal that which is inherently what is the truth of our original nature, our divinity, our ultimate formless spirit of being an enlightened being devoid of delusions and doubts, fear and sorrow; a creature of light. What would give the utmost meaning to my life than to become free from this bondage of being lost in my own self created darkness.      



     

      

Hearing or Listening Meditation.

A leap of faith,is all it boils down to. As you walk up close to the abyss and looking ahead at what lies ahead as emptiness of just space, you make your choice to step beyond or cling on to who or what you think you truly are. I is not relevant of what you have accumulated your entire life, what thoughts and ideas, what belief and systems you have learned, it is time to let your heart speak for itself, jump! Embrace your fate, your destiny your whatever and have your one pointed faith in it albeit God or Buddha, in a belief system or an ideology. in a You Tube Guru or a Michio Kaku. They all will have an explanation from each their own perspective and intelligence, their insights and wisdom, but you have to dance with the demon within, you have to come to your own conclusion as to where you stand at in the matter of faith before you can let go.

Fear will always be the key. We do all that we do in order to avoid fear, to avoid paranoia, delusions and most of all our own ignorance; we stand forever on thin ice when it comes the matters of the soul. Our conditioned mind is not going to give in into our effort to silence it without an all out struggle and thus it is by skilful means that we can try to coax our dual thinking mind into acceptance and become the tool for liberation than an obstruction of  this effort. Unveiling all the truths that is hidden from our perceptions is the key towards mental dissolution, meditation is the most effective practice to achieve this. I will never tire of saying this, no matter what you may know or have learned it is in the practice of sitting meditation that you will find your answers slowly but surely; learn to quiet the mind.

I always marvel at my elder sister who is never seen without her 'tasbeh' or prayer beads, and i often wondered what verse or if it is simply Allah! Allah!, the she is chanting in her heart. I am sure more than a few billion of the faithful all around the world are doing the same in their own ways as their faith and religions dictates, the Tibetans chanting Om Mun Padme Hum and the hindu chanting silently Ram Ram, and the Buddhist Namo Amida Buddha or Nam Myoho renge kyo and so forth, whatever the prayer are for they are a very strong form of meditation that lessen the mental intrusions of the mind. It is a form of hypnotic endeavor, but still is effective in bringing the mind to a focussed state instead of allowing for too much mental activities. Where breathing exercises fails to bring the mind into silence, chanting with prayer beads helps, However i feel that learning to develop a strong feel of one's breath and the proper movement of one's inner energies is the best 'soulution'.; it is the most natural healing process for the human mind. 

When chanting it is best to know and understand what is being chanted, know the meaning of every word and what it stands for or you are merely doing something mechanically and would defeat the purpose. I used to enjoy chanting with my  fellow students at Green Gulch Farm, especially the Mak Hanya Harimita Shingyo or better know as the Wisdom beyond Wisdom Heart Sutra. I enjoyed the sound of it as I chanted in Sino Japanese and more so when I chanted it in English where I realized the meaning of what i was saying, and it made a whole lot of sense. The Maha Prajna Paramita Hridaya Sutra is the sutra that is adopted by the Soto Zen School of Buddhism and it is at the Heart of Zazen Practice or sitting meditation. The chantng does not only bring the mind to a collected center of focus but also helps to practitioner to feel the vibes and energy flow while doing so, it is like feeling the motion of sound waves and the silence in between. When the chant came to an end i always felt a sense of lightness of being; empty. Even for a moment of split second, this feeling felt is still felt today when my mind dwells on healing myself inside out.

One day a group of tibetan monks came to visit Green Gulch and performed a chanting sounds form the throat that they were famous for. I stood just outside the door to the Zendo and listened with all my heart as the sounds permeated my mind and body like flows of water. My body and mind was frozen in time and space and i felt like I was floating in a lake aimlessly with my head turned up to the skies until no more sound penetrated my being, just silence.

Tibetan Buddhist chanting is a subgenre of throat singing, mainly practiced bymonks of Tibet, including Qinghai (Khokhonor) province Tibetan plateau area,Tibetan monks of Nepal, Bhutan, India and various locations in the Himalayan region. Most often the chants hold to the lower pitches possible in throat singing.

Overtone singing - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overtone_singing

  
Today listening to various sounds and music on YouTube can help one find this moment, your choice of verses and your ability to stay focussed, is who you are; be in this state of presence, in the here and now; the perfume of this presence is, Peace and Tranquility. A wholesomeness of Being without attachment or clinging. 

The Man said you do not exist...

Alan Wallace is a  Buddhist scholar and practitioner of the highest order of skilful means in words thoughts and deeds that I have come to so far  , observed and listen to on You Tube since a week or so ago. I like his charismatic and crystal clear delivery of the Buddha Dharma especially the Tibetan lineage of Buddhism. Listen to him if you get a chance to he is worth listening to if you too are on the trip to find out. I would recommend many other that have helped see through my daystill now and I am ever grateful to these contemporary Teachers of the Human Mind - HUMIND. I seem to have so much faith in what others teaches me that I forgot to have faith in myself, in who I am and where I have been, my darkest days and brightest nights, my  journey into foreign lands and lives for over 24 years of my life.: I sometimes forget who I am even in this present state how can I ever remember my past lives? 

Then again I am no Buddha and doubtful to become one in this lifetime, just in name only I call myself, The Cheeseburger Buddha. I had an epiphany of sorts, a mini Satori, you may say while taking a break at McDonald's in Green Bay Wisconsin one winter night. I was the security guard in charge of keeping the place in one piece when the High school Basketball teams starts coming after their games. Imagine this colored Malaysian guy in a monkey suit of a security guard uniform having to deal with a bunch of kids who just lost a Ball game! Bur, I was on my break, so with a large double cheeseburger in one hand and an Alan Watts book - The Way of Zen, in the other I sat enjoying myself with the background noise of kidss crying at one another in between gobbling a burger down< I was sweating from the layers of cloths and the place was heated up to the max. Outside the bay window piles of snow against the walls and there i sat finding myself in such a state of dichotomy or duality in every aspect that my mind stopped in its track! I looked at the book in my left hand and said, "Buddhas don't eat meat!"

And the little bug in my head said, "You are the Cheeseburger Buddha and you will be spreading the Way of the Rambling Mind." Not that i had any idea that I would end up this far and stuck with myself as the CB2. I could swear that heard Alan Watts laughing from his grave in the background instead of the noise of twenty teenagers throwing words at each other, just no punches yet. Seating from inside out while it is cold outside and sitting there with my monkey suit on, the Uniform of J$J Security with large shiny badge an all. That my first introduction ot Zen Buddhism and it was sometime in 1979-80. So if if the question ever arises , why the Cheese Burger Buddha, now yo have it in a nutshell. Oh by the way, one summer solstice my Dharma brothers and I climbed up to Alan Watts's memorial site at Green Gulch Farm and toasted a bottle of Sake to the old boy. Next to his marker is also that of Chris, I think he was seventeen, murdered in an alley in San Francisco by a mugger they said. Chris was the son of the man who wrote the book Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, or so I was told.

What don't I like about Alan Wallace? My perception purely, non, somewhat judgmental, perhaps, but genuinely pure of intentions of one man of faith to another.. To say I don't like is too heavy as it is really of significance except for this blog entry purposes, a story to foreclose. Over confidence in manner of delivery, eyes shifting too much, details! He is among the best in his field today but i prefer the way Mooji Baba delivers his stories or even Satguru, The Mystique, they embody skillful means of oral delivery of the Dharma in their own ways and I say in the delivery and not what they have to say. Thanks to You Tube today a person can study human nature up close and personal, on the positive side one is bombarded with knowledge from that of the ancients to today's scientific discoveries, at your fingertips, no more excuses for ignorance. Instead of squatting on a chair, perhaps Mr. Wallace can himself better with his physical body too, a humble perception and suggestion. Give TED Talk!

Go! Japan Soccer team!

After watching the Japanese being narrowly defeated by the Belgium soccer team at the World Cup in Russia, I realized why I have had a lasting love for the Japanese culture and its people, The manner in which the team exited the field after loosing the game was typical Japanese, like bowing to the crowd in appreciation for being hosted by the Russians and they went so far as to clean up the locker room and leaving a note in Russian to say thank you in Russian; this is what Japan is all about and teaches the rest of the world in good manners and intercultural relationship. It would well for the rest of the world to emulate the Japanese when it comes to etiquette and manners, a sense of respect for your fellow man no matter who or where you are.

Having lived for three years in the city of Sendai  in Japan I had the opportunity to taste the Japanese ways in my day to day experience with them. For three years i was the Baby sitter to my two preschool children who attended a prestigious kindergarten in the Sendai area, Mukayama Yochien, in Miyagi Prefecture and in this capacity I was exposed to all the Oka sans or mothers who were a frequent group at the school grounds. I was most probably frowned upon by the salary men, the fathers who were hardly around except on weekends or special events at the school. One learns very quickly about a culture when in the company of rich and dotting mothers, more concerned about their children than their own individual and personal happiness. It seemed they imparted discipline to their children at a very early age through unconditional love and it makes an impact on them as these children like my own are now young adults and showed great potential to become well rounded in the pursuit of happiness; I keep in touch with a few over the years.

So , Yea! to the Japanese team and their show of high moral standards in the eyes of the world as this event has gone viral in itself. Since WW2 and the japanese occupation of Malaya there has been a sympathetic relationship between the two countries and the Japanese seemed to favour the Malays in approach, the Chinese were never favoured by the Japanese even back in their history. The newly elected PM was invited to give his views over what happened in Malaysia and was also awarded a large loan to counter the financial disaster this country is facing. Here is to Katsushika Hokusai and Miyamoto Musashi and to Takanohanna the former Great Sumo Yokuzuna, my favorite. If these names are meaningless and a waste o time reading about, skip it, these are just my mind reminders of the good old Japan years of my life.   

Rambling on - what else can I do?

" To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation and enlightenment." - Eckhart Tolle

They say it better and their words confirm my own self discovery, my understanding on the workings of the mind; or so it seems for now. As I said before the mind is a trickster and anything is possible; it created the fields of possibilities. There is always a pinch of doubtfulness in as far as dealing with the mind is concern, it keeps it safe not to fall into the mental traps that the mind is capable of setting when and where it is least expected; the humind is as unpredictable as Maya itself and Mara, the ultimate ego nature of the mind is not an easy opponent to defeat. Wise words are wise words, direct observations are direct observations, skillful means are not impeccable. To accept the Being and thinker as inseparable whole is also an option  In Buddhism, as I have come to understand, man has to deal with deep rooted karma that has been from beginningless time that needs to be be addressed and reconciled with once and for all as part of a prerequisite of becoming enlightened. Letting go of or becoming free from these karmas born through body, speech and mind, give the word enlighten a n added meaning; to become light as in weightless. It also gives the word gravity and grave an added dimension as gravity pulls us down or weigh us down, physically and mentally or emotionally.

An enlightened mind would have ceased this futile activity that I have indulged in for the past ten years ever since i started this Blog with the intention of getting to know my true nature - Who or what am I? I am far from being an enlightened being and as a matter of fact am very weighed down by untold karmic consequences of my past actions in this life alone, only a miracle can make it all go away, or a Divine Grace. as a Muslim I say only Allah's infinite Compassion and Mercy can erase my sins; I am indeed sinner, Ineed  absolute absolution of my soul," this Being that is underneath the Thinker..." I am aware of the Buddhist principle of Anatta or no-self and am convinced that it is a truth, the historical Buddha was right in claiming the "I am no more." when He attained to Pari Nirvana. the non-returning of an absolutely enlightened soul, never to return. The Buddha shakyamuni, laid His life on the line, gave up everything in order to attain the the Ultimate Truth to our human existence and His self discovery led to the spinning of the Dharma Wheel of our realm of existence. 

Hence to realize oneself as the Being beneath the Thinker is a journey of more than one lifetime according to Buddhism, it is the culmination of our entire cyclic existence as evolving towards the purity of the Being itself; the Atman or the soul call it by what name you like. In Christianity, the Christ died to redeem our sins and so to become free from one's mortal sins accept with faith in Christ. For a Muslim, only the All Mighty can make liberate you from your sins big and small, so it is the wise who follows the Lord's commandments with ever begging for His Mercy and Compassion, know that he is the only One and you do not exist in essence. "From You I come, to You i return." a verse you utter with your last breath; if you are fortunate to be able to do so. This much I have come to understand of the nature of Being; the rest are complex details that most cannot even begin to imagine what it takes in order to touch the feet of the Master; it is said that which we seek is closer to us than our jugular vein and yet is hidden from us through our ignorance and mental deficiency; we see the veils than what lies beyond, the impermanent not the eternal, the mental formations, not the ultimate consciousness itself.

Yes they say it better, I have been saying on my own words for a very long time now and despite it all is still not convinced if I am who I am.

Do you know your mind?I bet you have no idea!

Sit back and let Hans Zimmer's theme from the T last Samurai takes you into yet another space, time and dimension of your mind projected experience comes into manifestation. Let the mind do its own thing expressing itself through the fingers on to the keyboard, just become the moment; become at home. Be here Now, has been the crying call of the ancient sages as well as modern philosophers and scientists alike, this is where your belong. home..omm. 

I find that fighting the mind and its incessant need to ramble is a futile effort too and every minute of silence in between the thoughts going on in my mind is a gift for taking a sneak look at what lies within. Prolonging this moments of silence is the one aim of meditation practices just as it is with every sports and dancing or singing and so forth; when fully absorbed into what is being experienced the effort results in originality; your own. From within you create your own environment, your own space and time and your own product. Everything you do becomes an original; you. The human mind or humind, is a very flexible and accommodating tool of my personal manifestation and expression when I have learned to understand and accept its complexity as this blogging testifies itself. This act of sharing my mind with others is like watching my mind at play with itself, just rambling on with whatever comes to it. 

Perhaps I am wasting my time and dragging others who are interested in reading with me, perhaps I am trying to impress with how much I know or how ignorant I am in trying to explain how my mind works; it is. I am beginning to find how interesting the workings of my mind is,in all its negative and positive virtues. Primarily i find that in allowing my mind its free will to flow on without any resistance from me the 'watcher' or observer, the mind is able to work itself out more fluidly and through greater awareness, I find I am in a more meditative or focussed state, for lack of better words , in executing whatever it is that i am doing at the moment in time; call it having faith in the mind. 

So let Hans Zimmer floats in your senses and let the fingers tap on the keyboards and this is all I am doing, allowing my mind its own course. With every breath I take and with every moment of wakefulness that that comes in between my breath, I watch my mind to see if it is on the 'right track', doing what it most enjoys doing albeit eating or drinking, chatting or singing or sharing itself through this post in my Blog. I find that in the process of rambling on like this I have come learn better of how the humind works; for myself. It is like watching another entity sometimes even though I am still aware that it is all my consciousness itself the mind the observer the environment the space and time; being in the Now, at home...omm. It all seems so simple you say, try it, watch you mind, every thought every feeling, perception and impulses, watch with bare attention. 

Xian Tzu

2 hrs · 

Zen Master Huangbo Xiyun (d. 850), trans. Thomas Cleary

All Buddhas and ordinary people are just one mind... This mind is beyond all measurements, names, oppositions: this very being is it; as soon as you stir your mind you turn away from it.

It's just that ordinary people cling to forms and seek outwardly. The more you see Buddhahood, the more you lose it. If you employ Buddha to seek Buddha, if you try to grasp mind by mind, you will never succeed all your life. You do not realize that if you cease thought and forget cogitation, Buddha will spotaneously appear.

Just recognize the original mind in perception and cognition, remembering that the original mind is not IN perception and cognition, yet not apart from perception and cognition. Just don't produce views and opinions on top of perceptions and cognitions, don't stir thoughts on perceptions and cognitions, don't seek mind outside perception and cognition, don't abandon perception and cognition to grasp for truth. Not identifying, not rejecting, not dwelling, not sticking, you will be free in all ways, and everywhere is the site of enlightenment.

  

As I was saying...this article was posted on my fb two hours after I have made this blog entry. ..Coincidence?