Georgetown Retro - water color -ink wash. -1964

The following water color and ink wash sketches were done from black and white pictures taken in 1964 of various street corners and roadside stalls in the area of Georgetown, Penang.

It is beginning to feel good doing these sketches as i get more and more into it.

This was the Penang i grew up wiht, it was not any better than it is today but sure as hell a whole cheaper and much more friendly.



Most people travel by busses to get around Georgetown and bus stops can be anywhere wherever there is a lamp post with a colored paint on it to signify the bus route.





Both these shops are still operating but much up graded from their past.





My sketching technique or style varies mostly depending on my mood and the tool I was using.





This scene of the Jelutong road was  taken in 1964, like the rest of these pictures, I was in secondary school thenand in 1964 I was studying at the Sek. Mengh. Sulatan Sulaiman, in Kuala Terengganu.



Which Way the Wind Blows?

Hopefully I do not end being bitter and write with any judgement or critical views of others as I progress on into the future with this long ramblings, if so i am sorry but as  J.Krishnamurti would have said, "I don't care what happens, that's my secret!" I have not really attained to that level of expression in my thoughts as yet but i am close, in all honesty I too had never cared too much about what happens in my life until i had my children! I told my late wife every now and then, 'Nancy, our life has passed, we now live for the well being of our children, we will do our best to give them the best in everything we can afford to." She agreed and I felt it gave her inner strength to excel in her work. My late wife entertained my children, I took care of their daily needs, just as she had 24 cats running all over the house, my wife and children loved cats!; I had to feed them and clean after their stinking mess! I allergic to cats!
If one enjoys telling stories of the past then my life in Terengganu after my return from being overseas along with my late wife and children would make for an interesting past time. We arrived from Sendai, Japan sometime in 1998, the year Anwar Ibrahim made the news and Mahathir was the villain. I was in Kijal, Kemaman when I learned of the events happening in the city where police was making arrests and the whole Nation up in an uproar over this accusations and that , I almost felt I was in a politcal twilight zone. I was visiting Raja Kamrin, a friend i was introduced to while working in Kerteh and it was late at night while driving home that Irealized that Malaysia was in pain, we need to evolve sooner than later or we will not survive as a peaceful nation, we will become another third world country with a terminal illness.
The first time in my adult life that i went to hear a 'Ceramah' or political rally was when Anwar Ibrahim on the eve of his arrest came to Kuala Terengganu and gave his 'Sermon on the Beach', at Batu Buruk in Kuala Terengganu. (the only place perhaps he was able to do this back then). I sat up on one on the neighbours concrete walls and was moved to raise my fist even after listening to the man I had always followed through reading in the papers while i was living overseas. I even bought and donated one of his books to the Sendai International Center Library along with Dr. Mahathir's book which I cannot remember anymore. The Japanese liked Dr. M,most did not know who Anwar was.
Due to my being at that rally my name was mud to my twin brother, more so to his wife who I don't think ever forgave me! He was questioned by his boss on why he had appeared in an illegal gathering and cheering on the political black sheep. My eldest brother called me to let me know on my twins displeasure; now would I have to show myself up front where the TV news would catch me? Duh! I was already on his shit list for various personal offences in the past which I will avoid getting into, but yes perhaps another time. So ther I was my first Malaysian political rally and wham! I am caught on camera and caused my twin brother to be transferred to another post? Was hr punished or was he rewarded, I could not fathom till this day, because I remember visiting him at his new facility and it was far better and he seemed to enjoy himself. But why did I felt like I did something wrong and carried the blame on my mind for a long time? Ego? My bad!
If I were to look back and recount all 'My bads' it would fill the book of life, I am no angel nor a saint, I am a man who has lived his life moment to moment and reflected upon each and every action of the past present and future, why? Simply because, "I don't care what happens..." Two or three days ago two ladies at the different sections of the Penang Bridge attempted to commit suicide but were saved from doing so, while a man doing his job below in the sea was thrown off his boat by a freak accident and was killed a week before, Yesterday a section of the New bridge fell and killed four? Mr. Lim, sir please be a little cautious at the signs given: and you want an undersea tunnel connecting the island to the mainland? Yes Sir Shit Happens! and it does just when we least expect it to, especially when we are losing consciousness or falling asleep, we are letting our safety guards down and entertaining our victories too early. When a society allows man to scarr the side of a beutiful hill for now apparent reason, then indeed we are falling off the stool, hence Sir, the wake up call. God said, "Sorry to rain on your parade, Sir." Leave a legacy behind, but don't let legacy leaves you in the process. Solve the water situation and drainange system and clean up the river by all power available within the Penang State budget, show the world that we are really environmetally fully conscious. We are aware of our priorities, that which we have promised the people to solve during th election campaigns; its Spring Cleaning Time, care for what we have and what we really need first, help the city and people to start the process of coming together 'through healing the land' as the Tao Te Ching said.

A converstation at the 'Pondok' by the sea on the subject of why there has been so many suicide attempts on the Penang Bridge lately;

 1st. " Aku ingat Jambatan ni suka makan orang la.."
 2nd " Pi- rah, hang ni, ajambatan mana ada makan orang plak, hang merepek La!"
1st.  " Hang tau apa tentang jambatam ni semua!"
2n.  " Tau?! Ni! kacang la , tau tau, racun la santau, silat la kuntau! Tau konunnn!"
3rd. " Stress kot!"

The rise in attempted suicides, the discarding of newly born, the rise in physical violence even between parents and children is a revealing state we are in as a collective spirit, as a nation under one sky. They are manifestations of our slow but sure demise as our societies fail one by one to evolve from one stage to the next without loosing the grip it has on what is, and what is not. I have! I have been swaying back and forth trying to figure out if my perpendicularity is still located perpendicularly., I am feeling my age especially when I am trying very hard not to fall asleep. But it is alright, I don't care what happens...

By God its Friday!

I am forced to listen to a sermon on the Internet from one of the cubicles belonging to one who is not even there himself, it is just left on as loud so everyone in the room has to listen to the ulama talking n0on stop over matter covering from heaven to earth. Locally the ulama' is quite well known fro his sense of humour and unique style, but anything even gospel truth can be overwhelming after you are forced upon it for too long. But... such is with Malays, the respect for an individual's privacy, and space.I should not complain even if it is an effort for me to have a clear head free from the subject of how and why one should pray. it is Friday and I have spent almost two hours sitting in the mosque praying meditating and listening to the Imam, now i am still subjected to the same topic. My cousin brother and I would be among the first to arrive every Friday at our local mosque and we would occupy the first line in the congregation. I like doing this simply because i love the peace and quiet before the crowd fills up. I also like the idea that I am facing God right up front when I pray, i also like to be abel to not notice anything or anyone else as i sat there doing my thing whether it be Zikhr -ul -Allah or simply talking to my Lord in silence; no eye contacts, no interpersonal communication in any form as i sat like in Zazen facing the wall in front of me.
After doing the two 'Rakats' sunat prayer i would sit in Zazen meditation emptying my mind from any form of thoughts whatsoever through simply listening, and slowly into watching my breath while doing the Zikhr or Allah - Hu...in and out. Then comes the time ti listen to the Bilal call out on the loud speakers the azan. Unfortunately at this mosque the Bilal is more of a wailer, like he enjoys listening to his own wailing, crying his heart out in pure pain and anguish, instead of sounding positive and strong in calling out in the name of the Lord. If i had the authority i would have him sent to be reviewed in his style or someone aught to tell him to chill and share a little of joy when he screams into the early morning hours or the afternoons. my bad perhaps i am a little sensitive over what goes on around me and despite my practices i could not block out these kinds of vexations. The beautiful thing about a Congregational Friday prayer is the fact that no one talks and there is often complete silence among all those who were present till it is all over; this is often an awesome experience deep within. Ask any good Muslim and he most probably would tell you  that the most irritating thing, the most distracting thing, that can happen to you while you are sitting and getting ready to meet your maker is the guy who comes along side of you and throws his personal belonging on to the prayer mat in front of him! Hand phone, (so we know what brand it is), watches, why more than one, note pads, reporter?, and everytning else that a man can afford to carry in his pockets  is there in a small pile in front of you, mind, analyse that!
I have great respect for my fellow Muslims who pray five times a day, as a matter of fact, I envy them greatly for I could not. I tried in the past but it has always been sporadic in my attempts and i was never one hundred percent into what i was doing making me feel like I was being a hypocrite. No experience is more obvious in terms of watching one's mind that when one stands before GOD and perform the solat. If one is  fully informed on the rites and rules of the performance of the solat it would be an impossible task for one like me, but the Lord is Most Forgiving and this is what I bank on in my religious life; that His mercy surpasses His wrath. I qualify this as my religious life because i am not overly religious where religions are concern; I am Spiritual.
I try to always be the first to answer the Fatiaha verse just as soon as the Imam finishes it...AAAminnn!! I listen with my breath as he reads and I follow the sound till it is gone and I answer with the same tone and the rest of the congregation would follow my lead. Is it an ego thing? Maybe. But it is something I have come to make it as a practice and I try to do this at every  mosque I pray in, the last mosque was in Kota Bharu, Kelantan. For one simple reason i find it more fluid if the answer comes as a connected line, a chorus rather than suffer the embarrassment in waiting five minutes before the answer comes because no one wants to lead.; there is seldom the spontaneity in the whole prayer.
"It is said even the angels in heaven raises their voice in answering to the call of the Azan and the reading of the  Al-Fatihah."
I asked one of my grand nieces (5-6 yrs old) who was all dressed up to go to her religious class,
" Na' Pi mana?Where are you going?"
" Class Ugama!" - To religious class.
" Agama apa? Hindu ke Cina ke?" (What religion? Hindu or Chinese?)
"Ugama Melayu la!" she said with a cheeky smile. (Malay religion.la).

 An experience that I had while in the mosque for the Friday prayer that I cannot forget happened in Kuala Terengganu, at Kam Telaga Batin, a Millitary base in the East Coast. My house was close by at the time, next to the present airport and my wife and children became adopted  by the Ustaz and his family, who was the Imam at the mosque.
So one Friday as always I was sitting in the second row and as the place filled up I noticed a very well dressed gentleman sitting up in the front row, did not think much of it, back into my own inner sanctuary for peace and silence. Then the Imam was giving the sermon and I notice this gentle sat with his legs practically out stretched and knees rocking up and down gently, and i thought to myself, how arrogant a man can be even before his God and the Imam he sits like he owns the world, dropped it.
Later I learned that the gentleman was then Defence Minister Najib Tun Razak. Masha'Aallah!! If it makes any difference now I apologise for my criticism of him at the time; I am sorry that I did not salam his hands before I left the mosque.! Had I known it was the Minister of Defence that was sitting there how would I have reacted? Another ego tripping question.

Sorry, I need my Ego!.

As one who aspires to become rich an ultimately famous before I kick the bucket I realized this morning upon waking up that i have been down in the dumps despite the minor accomplishments i have acquired along the way in my life. I have been unsure, uncertain and my confidence in myself has run the all time low; Why is this so! Never mind the story of the Sultan and the Sufi master Naseruddin on the ups and downs of life..
Time to look deeper yet into this rise and fall of my consciousness which seems to fall mostly than rise. Ever since I have read Eckhart Tolle's" The Power of Now" and his other book "The New Earth", I have been on a ego bashing trip upon myelf. I have been holding back, bowing, kow towing, bending over backwards, stooping and I have been creating fears of the unknown that wil pounce upon me if i entertain my egoic thoughts and La Di Da! I have become an ordinary coward in the face of hardships and challenges like I am going to loose it all, (not that i have much to anyhow). What is going on? Is this the repercussion of trying to disciminate the ego, that which I have held through thoughts and experiences to be me? That which has faced odds and overcome skirmishes through daring do and no holds barred, that was the me before i stumbled upon Buddha in the form of Tolle or Krishnamurti? Alan Watts, the American Zen master thrived on his ego while he set out to preach Buddhism to the American public and so did the likes of  Richard Baker  and the rest of them.
SO where am I going wrong? Why am I not as happy as i used to be even when I had not a penny in my pocket or a single wealthy friend to take shelter from? Why am i crawling on my belly looking for comfort like to my children wherever they are; never used to care much for such needs and was totally comfortable with it and most of all happy. But now it seems the opposite is manifesting, mentally, physically and spiritually i have never felt at my lowest; the nadir of my life. Text my son in Dubai last night just to hear something uplifting and got no reply, called my daughter in Cyberjaya and got no answer and so i set and meditated blaming my ego for wanting, needing some sort of injection into my well being and still failed, so went downstairs and worked on three water color sketching, it helped to keep my mind from getting the worse of itself and it worked for the duration, but went to sleep at 4 in the morning still feeling lacking.
Woke up late this morning and decided that enough is enough, I am who I am and my ego will have to be left alone for now if not given the boost that is much needed to counter the egoic mind driven nature of the external circumstances that has been trampling all over me in the  recent past; I need to stand tall and face the world that is edging to suck me into the life of mediocrity and insignificance, watching the life, the image that I have build fo myself crumble before at the mercy of bloated egos and shallow minds. So i say to myself, Bahari! Wake up! Stay awake! Do not let them fool you! Wealth, power and knowledge these are all relative, it is in how you dance with their illusions that matters. If I cannot destroy my egoic nature than I might as well become the ultimate Ego, live to the max like I have lived in the past when I was living in the United States, Japan and wherever else that I found myself to be in and survived with flying colors. Why do i return to this country to become a non-entity, insignificant and to be at teh mercy of those who thrive on acting out their egoic natures? NO! I am who I am, right or wrong is a sickness of my mind not a reality that i have to abide by after having survived for sixty odd years.

"My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier you'll be a general; if you become a monk you'll end up as the Pope.' Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. (Pablo Picasso) ."

 Pablo Picasso always reminded me of my grandfather who like Picasso was a Bohemian who lived life fully as an artist travelling the countries leaving a trail of drunkenness and who knows what else only my grandfather died a broken man because he bowed to the will of the society around him, (Muslim dominated): doing the right thing had killed my grandfather's will to live as who he was, a great artist. In essence my father met with the same fate; both men were castrated although my father stuck to having his ways for as long as he could afford it despite living among the mostly devout Muslims in Terenggnau. I am not defending their life styles for what it is worth but I am more concern with what their lives might have been had they followed their instinct for survival as artists instead of settling down and being absorbed into a society that was contrary to their nature through marriage.If I were to live by example I would not repeat what my ancestors had led themselves into i would rather die standing than on my knees. I have seen what dieing on my knees would accomplish through my father and grandfather's lives; both were disinherited in terms of their past and their children chose to adopt into the life styles of those who consider themselves to be above my own ancestry; the Singhalese lineage. My immediate family are still tossing and turning over how to eradicate their bloodlines from my grandfather's and father's side honoring the Malays they married. For thinking the way i do i am being ostracised from the family circle of my immediate kith and kin; Alhamdullilah!
So, here is the ego defending its own demise to the extreme, justifying what is and what not in an effort to stay afloat before making my exit from the mind dominated egoic, Mayavic existence. I feel the oncoming onslaught of suffering in my immediate future no doubt, financially, mentally, physically and spiritually, but i will henceforth trudge along with greater determination to survive as who I am and not what others deem me to be or should be. If my family, relatives and friends choose to disown me, frown upon my ways and belittle my sense of accomplishment, so be it, I have much less to loose or have to give up when it is time to do so; but I have and will live on my own terms and I will die with my own self fulfilled conscience; I will not compromise myself and die a hypocrite. Only Allah will decide my final countdown and to Him will i return to be judged, juried and executed at the 'End of Days'. Till then, I am who I am. My will is His Will, my actions are His and my faith is in Him and He is Great! His is the only Ego greater than mine.

MOU Signing Ceremony - Mgtf - USM



 Receiving letters of Appreciation for donation of Artworks to MGTF - USM, from Tan Sri Dato' Zulkefli A. Hasan, (Chariman of Board of Governors - USM). The Vice Chancelor, Prof. Dato' Omar Osman. is in Red. Over the years I found out that I have donated the amount of  RM93.000 worth of artworks to the Museum and gallery Tuanku Fauziah -USM. Not bad for one who never owned a studio in his art career.



 Posing for posterity.( Please do not wear your work cloaths today!). For one who has hardly RM20 in his wallet i felt important almost like i was special on the first of June. Perhaps another lesson that it is not the amount of money you have that matters but who you are and how you carry yourself in public.  





Introducing Artwork to Tan Sri Azman Hashim a gentleman who had just signed an MOU for the donation of RM10 million for the construction of a Sports facility at USM.



                                       With 3 Tan Sri -s and a Daato' viewing my painting. Carpe Diem!

In the audience with Encik Zulkarnaen, Tuan Syed Bakar and TC Liew



"Alam Ghaib" - The supernatural world.

Imagine how an almost discarded piece of plywood can be transformed into an RM80.000 painting!  It is all up to your imagination and the ability to use colors.

Started off iwht the use of Acrylic, drip, drip!





Itroducing the painting to Tan Sri Azman Hashim



Can you see the Jins and hantus lurking around on the painting. This piece of work was done at the MGTF museum aometimes late at night and it was kinda spooky sometimes like I was being watched as i worked. I ket talking to the invisible telling them to just watch and no trouble please.

My brother Lee and son being forced to pose at the MCAT exhibirion at the Penang State Art Museum, Georgetown, Penang.

Receiving the letter of Appreciation for donated works to MGTF - USM.

Ah, So!



At the summit of the Titiwangsa Mountain Range.

 Time to look within, dive deeper into the Now the 'actually' what is happening to..me...the Now me. I am beginning to realize how much my thoughts want to hang around me, be me in every moment of my  life; I have become a living thinking machine, a bio-computer a cyborg of some genetic engineering to allow me to function from multi-dimensional leaps of quantum faith I am a walking zombie and I don't know it , acting accordingly just like the rest of the zombie race. All because I made an all out effort  not tot think, (too much). Most of what I've just written made as much sense to me as it would to you who read them, but it carries deeper meanings than I can explain, Sometimes I feel the ending of my life approaches quite near and at these times and moments when I am in the right place at the right time I am able to write it all as it happens and is happening. I owe it to myself to keep track as close as possible as to how far or how hear i am my journey's end; I would like to leave me behind a legacy in the form of a rambling of a'  mind dominated entity; the journey of complete awareness, effortless mindless awareness of being where I am at at this moment in time.
Yesterday evening I learned the lesson about being able to destroy before being able to create, non-attachment to anything and everything is as equally important, I learned this after I reworked on one of my "Space Art Series", which I was struggling with for many months now. I am happy with what  I finished wit, it is now hanging over my bed. The pains of not having a camera is killing me! Carpe Diem!! The moment is lost in terms of visual values as i should have been recording my progress all along on camera at the very least. But...shit happens and who is to blame but myself for the lack of awareness in misplacing the camera my son bought me in Dubai! My bad! So now that I look back and reflect upon the shit that has happened i am beginning to see myself drifting ever deeper into the clinging on to, the need to, have this or that for things to happen and I am hard on myself on shit like these. I carry the cross of every thought I make and they ride on my back fro m the day I started to think. My tediously boring Blogging is my testimony to my long journey towards understanding of who I am and what makes it happen for me.I write like an addict who needs to expel his demons through words, thoughts and ideas in an effort to make sense out of non-sense; my life has been an experiment involving many lives for better of for worse; I loved every single creature I have met along my sixty odd years of my life even those I had hated at one time or another, I have accepted all my sins and am blessed to have met them and am meeting and will continue on meeting till the day I die.
Relationship is what makes life for us I have come to fully accept this as a deep rooted cause of suffering among the human race; I fail to communicate! Through  a healthy and creative, caring and conscious sense of openness towards all beings in return I find peace within for on every face that I see is a face of Hope and Faith in the One Collective Consciousness : call It what you may; I call It, Allah(S).By writing this at the moment I am confirming my faith to the witness of many who stumble upon my blog; this is one of my primary purpose in writing this on going blog. I find my peace in my Lord the Great, the Al-Mighty, the Compassionate and Merciful. As of this moment I renounce everything that is consumed or ingested that i know to be against the Syariat of Allah: I quit all my bad habits. I will make very effort to become e true Muslim; I will prepare to meet death. If I die let me Lord, die with my faith in You.
I am still who I am in my own space and time but I am no more, as who I think I am. I will go on making mistakes and feeling sorry for myself and give in to my old negative habits but I I will act out the rest of my life with the realization  that this is who I am! Take it or leave it, only God matters. I surrender my will to Him, He is the Actor I am merely a puppet on His string, I will dance to His tune and promote Him for salvation of one's (soul?)
Now that I know who I am and where i stand with my Maker, (doubtful), where do i go from here? Not where, how do i get there, not how but being there all at the same time; ever in the Lord's presence; To stay in the complete Now and no matter what transpires to remain in the present in body mind and spirit is to behold the 'being' in the presence of the divine within. I am not there but in moments like this i am there; and I am no more, (there).
So on I goo..with my writing about nothing of concern or any particular interest in the days and age when no one like to read anymore, not if they can help it and they try discuss all about the Art of Relationship.What is my relationship to my self? To God? to my fellow man, my wife my child? what is my relationship to humanity? Who am I? What is my purpose? How do I serve as  servant of GOD? Now do I understand the Bodhisatva's  Vows and Virtues in the warf and woof of life as I walk through the valley in the realm of the zombies; I am the servant and I am out to become an enlightened servant of , Allah!, (Insha'Allah.).
If it all makes no sense, don't let it worry you, it makes just as much sense to me too.

  

On "Al -Qaeda" By Jason Burke

"THIS SHOULD BE A COMPULSORY READING FOR RUMSFELD AND HIS CLIQUE'
                                                                                      Says the - Evening Standard

"DON'T DIE A VIRGIN
TERRORISTS ARE UP THERE
WAITING FOR YOU"

  My old buddy David who presently is basking in Eisenada, Mexico, had posted this catchy sign at a bus stop in an American town somewhere. I am referring to it even as I am writing this. Way to go right David?, let us load a few more ignorance and delusions on to the collective spirit, why not, we have the means.That sign cost someone or the government itself some money to have it well done and how many of these catchy signs can we afford to put up all over our city? 'Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills, and every where! Go tell it on the mountain to let my people, from a Jewish song; yes let us keep telling it as it is so long as we can.
 After having read one third of the book, AlQaeda by Jason Burke I have to raise my hat to the man who put his life against all odds to capture the truth about Islamic Militancy, the whys and hows and the possible means to help heal the crack in the collective human spirit through better understanding. It takes some reading and the patience to stay with the loads of events that covers what it is Islamic Militancy is all about; you have to bring all your own understanding prior to reading the book to reflect when and where you had acted on here-say and media fed information alone. The amount of work Jason Burke must have invested into his work must be short of what is 'Jihad'. If a Muslim he definitely qualifies to the 72 vested virgins;
What I am beginning to understand from reading the book is the brief history of the conflicts in the modern Middle and Eastern Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia and all the way to Indonesia; the uprising of Muslim Militancy how it came to be has never been quite clear to me. Burke has helped to narrow down the large screen to a clearer insight into the root of what is presently the Modern Muslim world.
 It is a miracle that Burke has not converted himself to Islam having spent so much time and energy into discovering its inner workings from so many different perspective other than why Muslims are terrorists. If you have a choice of being dominated over by communism  or by Islam which would you choose? History has given you ample time and periods of both these ideologies or religions, their success and their failures; which would stand up against time? Which is more a menace? Perhaps communism itself is no more a threat today than more sinister apparitions out there making things happen beyond my knowledge. cooperation's and conglomerates, Clandestine entities aspiring to dominate the world..yada...yada..! We have become victims of our own self deluded thinking mind and as such we live ultimately in Fear and ignorance and we disguise these with bad tasting humor not awakened to the fact that what we do helps to reinforce what is already set in motion negative or positively; we are fueling the mind with more garbage for it to digest and regurgitate.
The likes of Ossama Bin laden, and Emiliano Zappata, or Che Guevara and many others to HO Chi Min will always be a stigma in our global history for they were the ones who stirred the pot when it was needed and they helped to keep the human evolutionary changes happen; the human mind needs to be fed constantly by new excitements and craves for more and more experiences... "to go boldly where no man has gone before... to seek out new thoughts and ideas, to fill up empty spaces, to keep from getting bored to death. This is living in the mind-dominated space; this is mental hell. How do we step out of this hell hole? self discovery, self healing and self alignment to the whole the universe, the entities around us the sounds and voices, the birds and the flowers, the roaring traffic and the cry of pain from every soul that is suffering at the present moment in time. When you can touch this space within you ,you will be able to change what is into what you wish for it to be; change happens within us whether we are conscious or unconscious about it.

Finished reading, "Al Qaeda" 'The True Story of Radical Islam' by Jason Burke; very well researched and has the depth that is spiritual in revealing what is the truth of  Muslim Millitancy. An eye opener for those who see Islam through the eyes of CNN and Al jazeera or BBC and Dick Cavet. An eye opener for those Muslims who has stood by and assumed while others took the initiative to act. A few years agao in one or two of my entries I said to myself that i was going to answer the quest posted by the former Prime Minister Tun Mahathir Mohd. " What makes a Terrorist?' Is it poverty? Is it hunger? is it being disenchanted by life itself? Is it for a cause that is wll too clear. is it because one is sick and tried of being kicked around by every Tom Dick and Harry from all wlaks of life, simply because! Why would a sane man want to become a human dynamite and blow up others along with himself, belief? Faith? Insanity?: Why?

" All Millitants explain their own personal, local experiences by reference to one greater truth - that islam is under attack....The Millitants believe they are fighting for a last-ditch battle for the survival of their society, culture, religion and way of life. They believe that the Crusades never ended and that they are now fighting  in a desperate war of self- defence...."
"...They understand,as we in the West alos beleive, that self defence can justify using all sorts of tactics that might be frowned on in other circumstances. They believe as we think too, that they are figghting to preserve their lives, socities and culture.."
"Currently millitary power is the default, the weapon of choice. In fact the greatest weapon available on the war war on terrorism, is the courage, decency, humoor and itegrity of the vast proportion of the 1.3 billion Muslims. It is this that is restricting the spread of Al Qaeda and its warped worldview, not the activities of counter terrorists experts or millatary strategists.It is this that, as Ilamic terrorism grows more and more fragmented, we need most. Without it we are lost. There is indeed a battle between the West and men like bin laden. But not a battle for global supremacy. It is a battle for hearts and minds. And it is a battle we, and our allies in the Muslim world are losing.
                                                   Al Qaeda by Jason Burke  (pg. 288, conclusion)

Sights worth stopping for along the Way...

I had always wanted to take a picture of this piece of rock every time i passed this way and this time I did. It is located somewhere near Gua Musang a small town in Kelantan just as you start to drive up the mountain range towards the West Coast. 

The Kancil at the mercy of the Tiger as she was parked by the gate of the Military camp nearby the River at Gua Musang.

This scene is one of those scenes kept taking through my visit to this place called Cendering, about six miles form Kuala Terengganu. The island in the horizon is Pulau Kapas and i island that i practically spent every weekend diving at as Ai was growing up a teenager in the East Coast. The was not even a house on the island back then and we were the fortunate few other than fishermen who had excess to it.

At the summit of the Mountain range of Titiwangsa the view is always awesome, that is if you are not tired or half asleep or need to pee more than concern for the roadside attractions. I never fail to imagine myself wandering around below in the thick forest what would it be like?

Here is Pulau Kapas again or Cotton Island if we w ere to interpret it directly. Notice the small PASS political flags floating above the water in the near distance. click on the picture to enlarge.

These two sunset pics were taken at a place north of Kotab Bharu which i forgot the name but it was taken at the sun was setting over the South China Sea.

Cendering again, notice the flags located on top of the tree and in to the back ground on top of the hill.

A clever try to capture the strength of the flowers against the storm clouds in the distance.

I took the ferry across from the Mainland to the Island in Penang and this cargo vassal was sitting there and so I took a shot just to feel like I am home on my own turf.

This fishing boats and the riverine scene was taken in Marang and it was to remind me that I had driven all the way to this place just because i needed to take pictures of Flags!~Political flags.

The Old Ferry still chugging along sounding allot worse for wear. it is still the symbol of Penang after KOMTAR. that tall phallic symbol in the background.

Artis Favorites Exhibition.- A tribute to the late Encik Fadzil

A gentleman Artist

Dropped by the Penang State Art Gallery on Mc.Calister Road and and spent two hours all alone viewing the newly mounted exhibition Artist Favorites 2? what ever! Saw some very high quality works and felt very moved by this fact. Kudos!! Penang Aritsts! I am proud to have one my works in there alongside yours. Well done hanging the works! It was strange how much different it seems when I viewed the works without my dark glasses on than when I was not. With the glasses I See the three dimensionality of the works that the artist most probably saw too in his final touches of his works. Without the glasses I see paint on canvas and my mind start critiquing, judging them, analyzing them, the works in their quality of execution, techniques styles, how far or how near they have achieved the best of their talents.
My dark glasses were specially made for me by son in Dubai and one of the things he told the guys at the counter , My dad is an artist and he needs good eye sights.It is also good for driving at night where the glare of the on coming traffic can be overwhelming, these glasses filter all the excess glare and dim the city lights, is becomes almost subdued silence that the mind see. I drove all the way to the east coast at night from Penang to Kuala terengganu across the Bintang Ranges and the Titiwangsa alone in the dark , me and my Kancil, thanks to the glasses for idiots who does not know common courtesy in lowering their highlights for on coming traffic; the glasses took most of the glare and a good visibility still maintained than otherwise.

Back to the show, my piece entitled "The Nipple" , (nebula in the subconscious mind)or something like that is also there and I am proud of seeing my work included among the contemporary artists of Penang.There is no doubt many great works more so the I have seen before in any previous shows; I was humbled. I felt the collective strength of the creative minds living in and around the Penang Island; it is awakening. "the Nipple" my piece was done with acrylic and oil on plywood and it was first started during the MCAT exhibition at the same location of this Museum two years ago? Now it hangs 'finished' although not properly framed as it should have been as promised... and this was why I was there at the museum in the first place, I was there to ask about the status towards getting paid for my painting that the museum had agreed to buy. I was going to find out what was the long delay other than committee meetings and signing of cheques. That was why I drove to the Museum that fateful morning but Allah had better plans, instead of knowing where the status is at He wanted me to really take a closer look at works of Art and feel the creative energy that it takes to manifest each and every piece of work.
I was very much impressed needles to say of the works produced for the "Artist Favourites" exhibition at the Penang State Art Gallery on Mc.Calister Road. I would encourage all teachers of institutions to visit the show when it is in progress, it is worth the time and cost. It should be made mandatory for colleges and Institutions of Higher learning's to encourage their students if not insist that they visit the show. This show represents Penang Fine Arts at its best across the board. A conglomerate of ethnic, cultural and religious representation of art works revealing in many cases their maturity in creativity, in the handling of materials and the spiritual touch of hidden messages to heal the mind.(viewers).
I did not learn more than I already know about getting paid for my art work bought by the Gallery as almost all the staff has gone to Sarawak for the "Museum Day" event. As I could not meet with the actual person I let my feelings go on to the staff that was there which was not fair by a long shot but i apologized and they understood and (I hope they do!) and tell their bosses! I did felt a whole lot better though after letting off my tirade about integrity and office efficiency , yad...aydda! I felt lighter and drove to the MGTF with a better feeling and so I write this blog.
Yes i wish I had my camera with me it would have creamed the cake and I could share some pics here instead but hey! Shit Happens!

Looking away from pain.

Just dropped off my daughter at the bus station for her trip back to Cyberjaya - University Multi Media (MMU) and jst before she left she showed me a text message from her roommates complaining of getting eaten alive by bugs, ranging from mosquitoes, cat fleas, bed bugs, mites; still no determination made which. So the cat Olly is the culprit or so it seems and my daughter is left to deal with the issue in her mind  while travelling all the way back to her apartment shared with a few young ladies. There are the dramas in life to be expected as we grow and interact with others especially those we care most about. Most of our miseries seems to be brought upon us by ourselves like the raising of a cat in an apartment full of girls! I hope my daughter can deal with the situation with skillful means and greater more adult understanding than getting sucked into petty squabbles between friends who have spent many years growing up together through schools.

                                              We just Voted! Indelible ink proof. Who did i voted for? Ha! Ha!

Marissa had put in fifteen hours of work a day since she arrived at the China House on Beach Street in Georgetow where two Australian ladies ran the place as part of the Bon Ton hotels chain. It is a high class establishment with good Western Food and Ambiance. Marissa has been working with the establishment ever since they had set up their operation in Georgetown and has the confidence of the owners so much so that she is allowed to work there every time she is back in Penang. I got to know the young adults who work the place from bar tenders to clean up guys and all are most friendly and respectful of me while I sat and draw at the table every time i picked her up from work It is pleasant to watch them run about serving customers or teasing among each other while at work.I am glad that Marissa has been able to stay with Bon Ton - China House for quite a few years now and learned the tricks of the trade which also help in her self confidence. She has made many good friends at the place which makes it like a retreat for her to rejuvenate her energies with 'Real' people whenever she comes home.

There' s shrimps under the News papers! A Modern Malay saying.

At home it is like living in an oven in the day time and incessant traffic noises as the house is located at one of the most busy junction. I sometimes feel suffocated with the whole environment but i managed to work with it by staying most of my time at the Museum like I am a paid employee while enjoying the air conditioned office space and the availability of the PC which I share with one of the staff members. and it has been more than five years now as this blogging can testify. I sleep late in the morning and take a little nap whenever i can but stay up till early in the morning doing my stuff outside by the dining space where ample lightnings and table and chairs are readily available. This is when there is peace and quiet with hardly any traffic and no one to bother me. I usually read and meditate, do my art and work out my ta Chi and breathing exercisers. This has been my life mostly between home and the Museum. In the evening i would drop by the Taman Sadon Food Court and have tea and a bite to eat while hanging out with one of my close friends who sells 'Kueh' (like sweets) there. I know most of the people there as i have been frequenting the place over the years, Later on the way home i would drop by the 'Pondoks' by the sea where I would take it easy winding down sitting in one of the fisherman's huts built on stilts over the water contemplating life and resting from the humdrum of the city.

More floors are being added for further expansion into the sea; this is the symbolic fate of the Penang Malays; driven out into the sea. None to blame really but the Malays themselves in more than one way they sold the land right from under the feet of the citizensc           - or at least those they have been electing to run their lives for over fifty years - the snakes and the monitor lizards.

The Malays in Penang owe it to themselves to pull out of this rut they are in and the sooner the better and as not too many Malays were elected from the Opposition party (the BN) the wellbeing of their future is signed and sealed; in Penang; in the Chinese' hands.(for now). I do not see anything wrong with it as a matter of fact it is a hidden blessing for them as only patience will tell. Having close friends who are Chinese and having grown up among the penang born Chinese, i dare safely say the Malays in Penang are in safe hands if they can see better instead of acting out of ignorance or influences.

The Chinese on the other hand will have to come to a term with themselves with regards to the fate of the Penang Malays; how to coexis for the benefit of one and all. For over fifty years Penang residents have existed alongside of each other perhaps a whole lot more if we were to lokk all the way back to our first generation of Penangites. Our forefathers and mothers forged this State, this island into what it is today. It is imperative that the Penang Chinese will 'care' for their Malay counterpart and so too the Indians; to act otherwise will spell a long term disaster for us in all forms; we will never attain peace. We suffer in the meantime economically, environmentally, mentally and physically simply because those who we had elected to care for us had let us down;Badly. Now we have a new chapter of Governance for the Nation let us see how they fare compared to their predeccesors. Will they too drift into the pit falls of Greed -Hate - and Ignorance like those before them. Will the newly elected leaders keep to their vows of serving the people or will they forget and become self serving just like the many before them?

                                          Let us Learn from The Masters, let not their knowledge and wisdom go to waste. Their chilvalry and honesty, their skillfull means in handling our affairs all these years too must be acknowledge and given a favorable space in our history and this espccially those who had been the Leaders of the Opposition.  H>H.The Yang di Pertuan Agung should offer to these individuals their highest titles as offered direct from the peaople to these men who had been a intergral part of our nation building. THis is Not an offer made by the Government or any Ruler of States, this is the wish of the People. Do I need to start a campaign on this?

Rambling to Myself.

I don't know why and I do not which to even know why, but the more one try to be honest and accepting of others the less one feels good about oneself -  at least these last few days. I have been acting up all kinds of dramas in my mind one replacing another plot by plot episode by episode; it is like Astro in my head. Where am I? Who am I? Why am I, I am that I am? Severing the umbilical chord from the external world to that of the inner, from the material to the spiritual from the seen to the unseen is much more harder than the severance of the umbilical chord that attached you to your mother; the world of Maya, (illusion)
To live life in full awareness is like being awakened into a nightmare, indeed you see the madness humanity is headed towards from seeing how you yourself are also have been drifting along in this Mayavic Realm of consciousness, not seeing that which is Reality and that which is illusion, that which is sacred and that which is profane. I am and have been always riding the train towards Ultimate - Complete in Awakening for most of my life, often not realizing it. I am in the process of metamorphosing from the larvae into the butterfly and I will crawl out of this cocoon of existence and fly in rainbow of colors into the clear blue  skies. I am, That I am!

GE13 - The Day of Reckoning -The aftermath.

I was watching the results being announced of the General Election along with another Malay artist friend Shaparel at my brother Lee Khai's residence. One of the intriguing fact that i observed was the fact that it took almost six hours for the counting of votes to be completed which is a very long time by any standard. Then there was the shocker results that places where the opposition were positive of winning slipped into the BN hands by very narrow margins and then the overall loss of the opposition which spell another five years of long complete denial with corruption and abuse of powers. Change is not going to happen in the near future. If here is going to be any changes it will have to happen from within BN itself.
I am thankful for the fact that the election went through withou any major riots or bloodbath which many fear might happen given the unhealthy atmosphere of the General Election. Now that BN has on the overall election it is back to the same old grind of wondering what would have been had the Opposition taken over the country. As a Malaysian I feel a loss of opportunity for the nation to do its 'Spring Claning' without any blood spilled or major disruption to the economy. I am proud that the Penang people the Malays, Chinese and Indians are able to unite in delivering yet another strong message to the rest of the country; Yes it is time for change.
Those who have plundered the wealth of the nation over the decades rule by BN can yet again take a sigh of relief as they are safe from being prosecuted if the opposition had won. The amount of money spent by the BN election campaign machinery's must be phenomenal the least to say and one don't have to look deeper than the amount of flags and buntings distributed for the purpose of a psychological impact and not to mention the free bees in terms of T-Shirts and caps, the dinners and lucky draws that were included in some areas. Perhaps this is normal in times of campaigning in order to win the people's mindset especially those who live in the rural areas and are less exposed to the social changes happening in the more urban areas.
It is no doubt that the opposition felt cheated by the final outcome and is up in arms to prove this as the opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim has vowed to make it his political. 'jihad'. But life goes on as far as the Rakyat or people are concern and the winner takes the cake, yet again and the looser has to live and fight another day. The people have woken up at least a great percentage are snapped into consciousness by the the so called " Chinese Tsunami" as coined by the incumbent Prime Minister, Najib Tun Razak. The Malays at least are shaken for better or worse, awaken from their slumber in their comfort zones of practically living in denial and exploitation and corruption as pointed out by the former PM Tun Mahathir, "The Malays are Greedy!" It is something anathema to their religious belief in Islam. But greed comes in all kinds of guises and shades which we every so often fail to recognize until it has become like and addiction. The greed for wealth, fame and power, the greed for control over others the greed of not being able to share what is excess and the wanting for more. As there are billions of stars in the skies more than enough to go around for the whole planet's population if each and every man women and child were to be given one each, we will still not be satisfied and would try to own more, grasping, clinging and clambering for more.
It is time to move on regardless as far as I am concern as the country needs to lick its wounds from the political skirmishes, it is time to take very close count of what needs to be done to rectify and reconcile, to tend to the continuation of Nation building. It is time to not regress and it is time to lay down all the political rhetoric's and concentrate on the the formation of a Transparent and Effective Governance as what the people ask for when they casted the ballots.
I hope it wil not become another long battle of Egos as Anwar Ibrahim and Najib Tun Razak manage the nation into the future, I hope a truce be made for the sake of the nation and the smooth run of the country be made a priority. I hope the likes of Tun Mahathir and Dato Nik Aziz of Kelantan will bow out graciously and let the newly formed cabinet of ministers do their job. I hope that all petty grievances related to the errors made human or otherwise be overlooked by all and sacrifices be made towards not adding to the already volatile situation we have braved through; otherwise it will all come to nothing. Patience is a virtue still highly admired by all religions and beleif systems. Change will occur if within your hearts you have felt the change; you cannot change the world without chnaging yourself first.

So after all the hoopla I am back to square one where life is concern, financially broke, mentally stagnant and physically aches and pains from old age setting in. it takes a great deal these days to get up and motivate myself to get anything done. My daughter has come home from the University for a short break and my car decided to have an alternator issue costing me 200RM which i had to borrow from my cousin much as i hated to do so., but... life goes on and the show must go onnn..

Much talk about politics still buzzing around the coffee shops and pondoks, but i am saturated with all the in formations from both the pros and cons so i just listened with no- mind. I doubt that my thoughts would have much effect on this matter anymore but i am thankful that there was no major outbreak of violence; it is not over yet however and at the rate things are happening who knows where it will all lead to.It is Sunday and after sending Marissa to work like she always does whenever she is back in Penang I decided to do some painting and am glad i came here as it keeps me busy and not get wrapped up into entertaining my woes.
I am expected to go to a wedding of one of my nephews,( my twin brother's youngest boy) in Kuala Lumpur sometime next week but am ambivalent about going.  As mentioned before I am broke yet again, and furthermore I am not too keen on making an appearance  at my twin brother's big event which has its own reasons but damn  if i do and damn if i dont'. I don't even have any idea how many grand nephews and nieces i already have thus far in my family as most are out of touch and rarely do i get to see them so much so that nowadays i don't really give a damn anymore. I have instilled into my children's minds that they hold respect for their elders no matter what family drama they hear from them and I am glad to find that they have taken my advice.

Continued;
Last night a thief broke in our house and took Karim's lap top and His Blackberry hand phone, his cousin's hp and wallet, thank god he missed my daughter's newly bought lap top.  Karim place a trace on his Blackberry and discovered it to be close to where we live but not the exact house as the area is made up low cost flats like the Ghetto. So it is like when it rains it pours. I feel sorry for my son as it is his second Blackberry to be stolen, the second one is actually mine but hey have children someday and let me know if you would do otherwise when your son takes over your stuff. It is better that they abscond your things for their own than they not having anything to do with you or your stuff.