Rambling to Myself.

I don't know why and I do not which to even know why, but the more one try to be honest and accepting of others the less one feels good about oneself -  at least these last few days. I have been acting up all kinds of dramas in my mind one replacing another plot by plot episode by episode; it is like Astro in my head. Where am I? Who am I? Why am I, I am that I am? Severing the umbilical chord from the external world to that of the inner, from the material to the spiritual from the seen to the unseen is much more harder than the severance of the umbilical chord that attached you to your mother; the world of Maya, (illusion)
To live life in full awareness is like being awakened into a nightmare, indeed you see the madness humanity is headed towards from seeing how you yourself are also have been drifting along in this Mayavic Realm of consciousness, not seeing that which is Reality and that which is illusion, that which is sacred and that which is profane. I am and have been always riding the train towards Ultimate - Complete in Awakening for most of my life, often not realizing it. I am in the process of metamorphosing from the larvae into the butterfly and I will crawl out of this cocoon of existence and fly in rainbow of colors into the clear blue  skies. I am, That I am!