Of Love

Love, perfect, complete and unconditional Love for the Self, for all sentient beings, for the Planet and the Cosmos Itself; is a tough act to follow that only a divine nature or God is capable of. This is the original goal and this is the journey of a 'broken soul' seeking to heal itself and become whole again and one with its creator, Insha'Allah, God willing. Nothing else matters as all else is just the background of my existence, all else is just food and fodder for the growth and replenishment of being in the here and now. The body, the mind, time and space are all the props stage for the self expression of this soul while on this plane of existence, this plane that is a self created illusion, an ephemeral stage of being, of impermanence and of life and decadence. LOVE is the only Truth that can ferry me across to the distant shore and consciousness and compassion are the paddles that drives the boat forward. Where would I be without Love.

I look forward to this Year of the Ox with greater determination to complete my journey of self discovery and redemption, to bring to an amicable ending of the Journey of the Cheeseburger Buddha. I have trodden, crawled on my hand and knees, I have tasted the best the worst that life has to offer for this 70 odd years and now I am reborn into the next phase of cleaning up my past and grow further into my future with a greater sense of awareness and inherent joy for myself and the rest of the Universe; it is time to give back that which I have been given, this sense of awakening; Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them. The first of the Bodhisattva Vows is still burning in my heart, the will and desire to help others through whatever means I am capable of and become the ferryman that leads others in need towards the other shore. I serve my Lord through servitude towards my fellow creatures through Loving Kindness.  

"A human being is part of the whole. called by us the 'Universe'         , a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts aan feelings as something separated from the rest. a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving to such attainment is in itself is a part of liberation, a foundation for inner security."                                                                                                 A. Einstein.

As I have often enough mentioned in my entire Blog, my intention has been to clean up or erase my thoughts of past memories of all the transgressions I have committed, the stains of my errors that has chained me to this realm of existence. There is no more sense in looking back for justification except in acceptance of what has already been and learning to break free from the tentacles of these errors committed through ignorance. I have done my spring cleaning and house keeping as best I could and by exposing these errors and weaknesses I hope to free myself from their karmic consequences. It is a journey of self confession with the hope that it would help to heal this splintered soul through acceptance, right understanding and awakening to what is the real from the unreal. It is a journey of inner purification uprooting deep rooted karma committed from beginning of time. It has been and still is a terribly lonely and tedious journey of self introspection, a journey towards self liberation. It took me over seventy years to learn how to truly love my self, to trust and love others and to offer my spirit in the servitude to God.

" If you want unconditional love, become a dog." - SadhGuru.

                                                 

My 2 cents worth on the New Administration in the USA.

Another President comes into power to sit in the White House's Oval Office and lead the country into the future that is full of uncertainties and tribulations like no other President before him has ever inherited this Seat of ultimate Power in history; can he do it? He can if he does not brush his vice president aside from making decisions for she is the potential thinker and decision maker behind the throne; she has the potential to become the problem solver for the President. However if ego has its way and the President allows his to stand in the way of common sense and true form of justice to uplift the people's spirit that is at present at its lowest ebb, then this administration is going to sink into a sinkhole just like the one before. The new President has to drop politics and embrace social and humanistic recovery like a mother and not a Patriarch who insists upon wars and force to overcome simple domestic turmoils; this President has to listen more so than let his personal thoughts be heard; he has to listen to the heartbeat of the Nation and not the politicians. Howevr it is the fact that a woman has been chosen as the Vice President and a one who is of colored heritage is definitely a key factor in the run of the Biden administration; my two cents worth.

So much for the US Presidential inauguration comment for now, had to do it simply cause i owe it to myself having lived there for 31 years of my life. It was the Nixon and Gerald Ford years when I was there if I am not mistaken, remembered the Watergate and President Ford take over way back when. Like everyone else I love America while at the same time hate it for all the wrong decisions made by the administrations though the years especially thse that had led to a few major wars around the world. Even before I emigrated from Malaysia to the state of Wisconsin sometime in 1974 I was already in love with the country because of President John E Kennedy through his worldwide program of the Peace Corp Volunteers and I had a few secondary school teachers as result who came from the US to teach at my school and one was an Art teacher from Iowa who inspired me. Yes, America was a home away from home and was almost a permanent home for me had I not decided that settling down permanently in the country was a meaningless experience for one who aspired to become a 'Globe Trotter', artist, I needed to return to my starting point and be able to look back and reflect, to compare and evaluate my life as an artist; how far or how near have I arrived at accomplishing my goals of no goal. 

God gave me a canvas and told me to pain my life as I see fit and at the end of my days He will take a look and tell me what he thinks of my Art of Living, as an artist. How i have spent my years and what have I accomplished that i can be proud of or had I wasted my life living a life of mediocrity, being led by the nose along with everyone else like sheep headed for the slaughter house. I took God's offer as a challenge and spun my own series of episodes that had led me to live my life far beyond my means and expectation, living in three different parts of the world and tasting the diverse cultural existence that not too many from my village could have tasted. Had I accepted the offer for me to bacome a US citizen back when I would have settle down somewhere in the country and become just another Tom, Dick and Harry with the same story of living the American Dream of a 9 to 5 life and of hot dog and apple pie, nothing wrong but simply not my cup of tea. I hope and pray that America will rise to greater heights under this new administration and that as promised by the new President, a whole lot of healing and unity shall prevail for the sake of the Nation. It would be a shame for a beautiful country to sink any deeper than she already has becasue of poor administration.   

   

 

 

COVID19 - when enough is enough.

 

During this challenging days of the COVID19 era, I must say I am more fortunate than most in finding my routine t face the day to day preoccupation of my daily presence. I am grateful for the blessings I have been showered with, the small miracles that things happen as I would hope them to with the most of ease, with minor vexations to face. I gave up all hope of improving myself if not better understand who I truly and how or what my purpose is in livng this life for the past 70 odd years, In truth I am beginning to see that my life's intention has been materializing little by little and I am closer and closer towards knowing my true nature. I hope and pray that this is not yet just another illuson i am creating for myself and even if it is, I pray from deep in my heart and my souls that I do catch a glimpse of the truth that i seek; that I do know my Lord up close and personal for me Allah, (God), is the only truth there is and worth sacrificing my life for in the effort to fully realize this in my mind, body and soul. I will use the word God as I write instead of Allah for self revealing reasons and not out of any other belief otherwise. 

Today I learned of the hardships that many are facing in their daily lives during this pandemic from one of my nephews. How those who own businesses are closing up shop and how things are getting more expensive to afford inorder to run a business. Everyone at all levels are facing a crunch and the poor and needy are the front-liners of this pandemic victims. The virus itself does not do as much damage as the attempt at finding the proper system of containment of the pandemic itself. The power that be in this country has practically thrown down the towel in the handling of the crisis while the nation is facing a political and economic turmoil. It is like hitting the panic button before the need to with snap decisions being made based on political expediences rather than facing  the real threat with complete awareness and transparency ; accepting the fact that we need to act with complete determination towards what we as a nation are facing. There is no other factors especially not the political bickering between unsatisfied political parties, we as a nation whose lives and livelihood are at stake will have to wake up sooner than later to the dire reality that we are up against; we are living in a sick global society.

The fortunate and the well to do, at least materially speaking, will most assuredly shake their heads and frown at just another some what bleak look at where we are at as a humanity, but the poor and down trodden, those who barely makes ends meet have begun to buckle under the unprecedented stress the state we are in presently and this I am speaking of globally. To say we are on the brink f extinction is not too far fetched most observers of the fate of humanity would reluctantly agree as we as a specie is no doubt set on a course of a monumental collision with our own egocentric nature; the "Tower" is about to collapse from too much top heavy. We have been building an inverted pyramid unlike our predecessors; ours are build upon a foundation or Greed, Hate and Ignorance, while supporting an illusory dream world for the benefit of the few. Our world is way off balance and is gradually toppling over despite all the efforts to prop it up by artificial means. We as a specie endowed with capacity to think has abused our God given trait and allowed our personal ego to run the show for self gratification and we call it, survival of the fittest. Enough is never enough, violence has become the mode of problem solving while ignorance as bliss is the norm.

Where do we turn to in these times of great challenges? As is said, behind every dark cloud is a silver lining or there is a light at the end of the tunnel  We can hope and pray that there is. However hoping an prayers is not enough to cut through this conundrum we are in, we need to venture into deeper levles of our consciousness and bring out the best in us collectively; we have to unchan ourselves from this bondage of feeling that we are defeated or helpless. We have to seek that wisdom lost in dealing with our inner self in how to cope and turn around what is negative into positive, turn this catastrophe into a victory for the soul of humanity Lesson are being put forth for us to redeem ourselve from our errors and amendments are to be made to rectify our mistakes and know that God is on our side. We have to realize the truth behind the veils of falsehood and delusions created to dismember us, we have to forge that unity to be able to stand and say enough is enough.     

  

My two cents worth on how to clean up our mess.- you can start by doig your own dishes.

We are living in a country run by Marshal Law and a failed government that has taken the easy way out by laying it all down into the hands of the King and the soldiers. The economy is slip sliding into an economic meltdown and the people are definitely not happy to say the least. The state of emergency declared by the King under the advice of the ruling government is not going t help much towards making things any better, worse perhaps, better no. The call for national lock down due to the pandemic is like putting a plug to a pressure cooker about to explode due to overheating from within. A valve is what is needed to release the built up pressure, however the valve that was implemented for this purpose is non-functional and thus we can be looking forward to a major blowout if things keeps on heading in this same direction; there is only so much a pressure cooker can take.

There is no sense in moaning and groaning if one cannot offer any form of insight or creative suggestions towards providing a solution to help ease the pressure. Hence my two cents worth; firstly we as a nation have to act collectively in a clean up operation; we have to put our house in order, massive housekeeping project has to be carried out and no excuses not to do so. In any major construction industry the slogan, Safety First is displayed at the most crucial points at the site. Most contractors would look upon it with disdain as it cost them time and money where Safety is concern, however, many lives and would be fatal accidents were avoided due to Safety regulations and a sense of collective mutual respect was achieved in the same process. I am talking from over ten years of working experience in the field of work safety; it is not a matter of just making sure no one gets hurt or the environment is not harmed, it is strong psychological glue that can bond people together as a collective whole.; Safety is a state of Mind, your and mine, together we can make it happen.

House Keeping is the first step to any Safety Rule for only through a good housekeeping practice can the overall function of any construction site will run smoothly. Good housekeeping is like  walking into a Wall Mart or a Safeway shopping mall where all is in order and easily excess-able in plain sight with plenty of room for excess and egress; this is what a country has to have implemented as part of its infra structure. Housekeeping simply put will clean up every nook and cranny, underneath the bed and the carpets, no secrets and no hidden agendas is not exposed into the ight and dispose off; a good housekeeping will clean and clear up the air and we can breath better.

We are not only living in an environmental deplorable state but we are also living in a massive denial mental mode while trapped in a warped spiritual and religious conundrum; our house needs to be fumigated and vacuumed and mopped from top to bottom. What is so drastic about cleaning up your closets, making your own bed and cleaning your toilets and your bedrooms and your yard and your neighborhood and your city and your country? The journey of a thousand Lis begins where the heart is; think locally and act globally and all that stuff. You are not breaking any laws nor are you sitting at home like a pigeon moaning and groaning your fate. You are living in a cell due to all the restrictions and constrictions, and then there is the Military, the Police and the Civil Defense and especially 'RELA'! all are unleashed to make life extra miserable for us; what have we got to loose? Lets grab a broom and garbage bags and start our mission our first step towards self reliance and the future of our country. If you catch my drift, good, if you think this is a joke well, I'll let you settle comfortably numb in your own state of self serving state of delusion while they fumigate your home and your whole neighborhood with toxic fumes of God knows what in order to protect you and your children from any other pandemic than the COVID19.         

How does Music affect your consciousness?

 There is a rhythm to life just as there is a rhythm to the movement of the cosmos and the flow of water down the river from the mountain tops to the sea. There is a rhythm to the human physical and mental state that to most is imperceptible while to others is like a boy  in the hood walking down his street with a boombox on his shoulder.. It is imperative that one has to imbued into one's consciousness an orchestra or a Bob Marley and the Wailers tune, that one might find the rhythm of one's flow in life. The rhythm by which you move your physical body as well as your inner energy and your mental state in synchronicity is vital towards the groove  of your physical, mental and spiritual equilibrium,A balance neither too far to the left or right, too high or too low, too wide or too narrow and so forth; the middle way is this way. In order to keep the vital energy flowing and the body and mind rejuvenated the inner rhythm has to be kept in motion and this can be in the form of resonance or rhythmic sound; OMMMM! or the Star Wars Theme of John Willams, theme from  Hans Zimmer's The  Last Samurai  Sound in the right frequency and orchestrated to perfection  when introduced to the brain can act as a source of rhythm that stimulates your cells in the brain and the rest of the physical body. Just as a repetitious movement like whirling in a circle as performed by the dervish can awaken our inner rhythm and allow for the free flow of pure energy throughout the physical as well as the spiritual consciousness.

Without any sense of a rhythm one function in a herky jerky kind of motion, stumbling back and forth with every step you take and every decision you make.A movie without its proper soundtrack is not complete.There is a lack of spontaneity that is present in motions moved without a sense of rhythm, the mind is often lost in its chaotic random rise and fall of unconnected thoughts. Musicians are often in deep state of meditative trance when performing their music as thoughts are not necessary and often and impediment to the smooth flow of their performances. Dancers are often lost in fluid motion allowing their bodies to flow with the vibrations of the sound of music or the tapping of a drum alone. The repetitious rhythm of a tune when listened can transport one into an alternate state of being from the one one is trapped become stagnated in, just a any form of drug would. Its hypnotic effect on the mental state will trigger a change that opens up new and uncharted states of consciousness if one is open to it. "Sahale - Djinn a 'Techno music form produced by Cafe DeAnatolia Ethno World on You Tube is a 6 hour long continuous music is one such transforming vibe that if listened for an extended period of time, The 3 hour long extended version of the Last of the Mohicans is another tune found on You Tube that can create trance-like state of consciousness; or rather a less thought infested mind.

As it is no small matter when trying to empty the mind it is not however impossible and there many ways of getting the mind to become less hectic and chaotic among which off course a meditative state of consciousness is the most preferable if not reliable. However the effects of sound-waves is no small matter when it comes to working with the mind if not the entire physical system where cells are present as cells i strongly believe enjoys the vibration of good music like the hoola girls swaying to the rhythm of the ukulele and native drums, so does the human cells resonates to external good vibes. Imagine it to be like a field of oats or rice swaying in the wind  giving it a sense of  collective spirit or consciousness. Classical Indian music of Ravi Shankar or meditative chants like those performed by the Tibetan monks, or a Gregorian Monastic chant, can evoke a sense of collective consciousness in the mind as well as bringing it to a quiet settled state.of silence and tranquility. We have it within our means to attain these states through employing the technologies available to us and yet most of us do not take advantage of these conveniences, like the You Tube and so forth. 

 

A Belated New Year's Resolution.

 One of my 'New Year's Resolution', as I always mad several each passing year in the past is that  would die and be reborn; I want to be a born again. A born again what? I want to be born again as who I was when I was five or six years of age living as  did in the fifties growing up as child among the mangrove swamp at Kampung Selut, Sungai Pinang. I was born alongside my twin brother sometime in August of 1949, we were born among the mud skippers and century crabs the murai taik and ketam selut, the wild and shrply hutan deruju, a nasty looking bush that looks like the English thistles, the rpickly plants that they hang around doors during Christmas, we were born in a village where the high tide would reach three to four inches just below th surface of the house floors. This is where I would like to be be reborn; #96-H Sungai Pinang Road, Penang.

I would like to die from this physical and be reborn living along with my mother and father, Aunties and Uncles, siblings and cousins; Rumah Nenek or grandma's house., it was called. I would like to be able again to take a swim in the high tides among my chidhood friends every chance i got, catch watter snakes and shoot at unfornuate birds and every creature that was unfortunate enough to become a target with my catapult. Look for Siput  Lokan buried in the mud beneath the Hutan Deruju while getting ierced mercilessly by the the thorns. I would like to fall asleep everynight to the rythm of the old grandfather's clock, tick! tock! tll the the whole village and its denizens false silent. I would like to the shrill call of Burung Murai or magpies and bulbuls, the call of the roosters and throughout the kampung announcing yet another morning to rise and play! Waking up to discover surprises, what the night's high had left behind while I was asleep, a dead duck a torn up doll or a Japanese rubber slipper with a broken strap, the flotsam would often included human waste that was being lifted from the open toilets around the village and delivered to your doorsteps. Yes, I would like to die and be reawaken bakc into my childhood years growing up ni a mangrove swamp. 

My second resolution is to sleep and enjoy my dreams as I wish them to be, now a cowboy in thw Wild West now Tarzan or the Apes in the heart of the African forest, now Morgan the Pirate then Robin Hood, I used to look forward to sleeping at night becaue i had the ability to become the Hero and Director of my own dreams. No mountains too high nor rivers too wide and I could fly, I could fly like the birds that see around when I play around the village. The nights were always dark all around us outside the 'Atap' house buit six feet up in the air mounted on stilts, we had no electricity in my childhood years and the smell of kerosene lamps filled the air as we slept. I could be who I wanted to be in my dreams and for me as a child I learned much from my dreams; I was free to create as much as I wished, whaever roles I chose to enjoy and nightmares were very rare.

These are my two New Year's resolution and silly as it may sound, I could not think of a better desire for a resoluton to make. The rest are minor ones like I will donate my body to the Medical Research Institute for their use upon my death. This I wish to do if feasible in honor of my mother's memory in her struggles against Tuber Culosis spending 9 years of her life at the Lady Templar's General Hospital as case study for TB. For nine years as a lab rat, my mother devoted her time to sewing mostly of teddy bears and rabbits to be donated to the orphans' homes during Christmas. During those nine years we hardly saw her as in those days traveling from Penang to Kuala Lumpur was an undertaking that requires some of money and we could barely imagine as kids. All I can remember was the day we sent her off a the train station in Butterworth, I think it was the first time I saw my first train, what a thrill despite sending my sick mother off to spend 9 years of her life being cut and open in her chest. In her later years my mother carried her scars around with pride as only her smile would betray otherwise every time our eyes met.I could never reach out and hug my mother nor she me and for this I wish to remember her by donating this physical body towards medical research (if it is still acceptable when the time comes.)

Yes, that's about it my New Year's Resolution of this year 2021. I realize that most of it are just wishful thinking, but lets see how much of it will manifest in the course of time. I have lived through some of the most exciting and eventful years in the history of this planet on looking back seventy years from the time my twin brother and I appeared right in the middle of the mangrove swamp known as Kampung Selut, Sungai Pinang, Pulau Pinang. 

  

  

 

 

Farwell 2020 and Happy 2021 and a New Beginning.

 As the 'Vision 2020' passes by most Malaysians are running around in a limbo of uncertainty wondering what lies in store up ahead for everyone. The promise of a wonderful Visionary feat to be achieved by the nation as foresaw by the former long standing Prime Minister, has turned into a political, economic and social blunder with the blessings of COVID-19 pandemic as the icing for the cake. For most the year 2020 will remain the lowest point on the graph that we have recorded as far as how well we are doing. Many are trying hard to be convinced that there is a silver lining in all these, that we are being brought to a slow down shift from the fifth and fourth gear to a third or second gear in our pursuit of our so called happiness. The fast pace, quick fix, get drive through routine of our everyday life is being brought to almost a grinding halt by the pandemic and we are forced most of us to re-evaluate our systems, make adjustments to our mode of operation, become more acquainted with our family and friends and learn to stop taking these people for granted. 2020 has left most of us vulnerably alone removed from the very comfort zones we have been creating for ourselves; like I feel most safe when I am at work.

2020 also provided a reprieve for the well being of Nature and the environment as travel restrictions and various other systems were put on lock down by the COVID-19 pandemic. The environment was givev a breath of fresh air as most of the airlines had to ground their flights due to the lack of users and this has has been proven by studies allowed for significant recovery of the ozone depletion phenomena in the atmosphere. As mass gatherings like weddings and demonstrations of any kind is being put on hold due to the pandemic, there is a significant cut backs in the production of waste materials such as plastic bags and mineral water bottles. The restrictions of human movement and activities by the pandemic may have a slight impact in the resurrection of the well being in Nature as in some small ways the lack of human presence in the wild has allowed for animals to roam freely without being disturbed by man. 

2020 saw a surge in the arts where artists and creativity are concern. As the 'Stay Home', policy was being implemented more people are being drawn towards looking into and developing the artistic possibilities as one of the ways to while away the time. Although theaters and plays productions were put on hold, inadvertently it also gave the these production and promoters a brief period of re accessing their status and making for better presentation as there was less pressure to do so in a timely manner; people are allowed to think better, plan better open to all possibilities when time is not of the essence. The COVID19 Pandemic for whatever it is worth, has brought humanity to a gradual awakening towards the values of human relationship in time and space. I say gradual simply because man will never learn, it would  take a much more drastic incident for him to be jerked back into the dire reality that he and his kind has got the world into as his Greed, Hate and Ignorance are deep rooted karma and his desire insatiable.

On a personal level, 2020 was a year of degeneration of the spirit and emotional roller coaster. It was more sadness than gladness to simply put. It has been a year of wishing I was somewhere else doing what I love doing rather than being in the environment that I have placed myself into. My reason for staying where I am with my two children was to bring them together under one roof and in making sure that they remain in touch with one another on a deeper elvel as brother and sister. It was also to pull my son out of the hole that he was slwoly digging himself into at the place where he was renting prior to moving in with us. This I have partially succeeded, I believe, but the toll it takes to achieve this I know is in my health; I am not happy. I feel I carry with me more than I need to and it costing me more than I bargain for; I need to change for my own personal well being if not my mental and physical health I need to move out of this environment; ironically I need to move out of this false comfort zone. At least this has been how I have felt throughout the year 2020 and I am not saying that I am right, however, in my journey of self discovery I felt time and again that I am not one who can settle down in one place too long and the COVID pandemic has heightened this fact into a reality; I feel trapped.

   

 

   

Is all these Maya?-Unreal?

  Why is living this material, physical life considered as unreal or an illusion orin the Sanskrit view is called Maya? Most of us would consider even the very idea itself is an illusion,perhaps a grand- illusion. However for thousand of years since man learned to think and analyze about the nature of our existence, this concept has been held as to be the truth by many major religions and spiritual teachings; what you behold in this physical realm is not real. It is, most have agreed to as mental formations, collective as well as individual; thoughts manifesting into forms and consciousness.Just as a sculptor would create a  sculpture out of a pieceof marble through his imagination and creative technique, so is the rest of forms that we see before us in and around ourselves are created through our collective imaginations, positively or otherwise; we created this Universe that we live in as they say. Far fetched? Perhaps. but for age man the inquisitive animal has dwell on this subject with deep consideration from every angles and aspect albeit scientifically or religiously. The enquirers into this phenomena have been relentless in the pursuit for a thorough understanding into the matter and those who stood in defence against this concept are no less as staunch in their stand.

So is this world of ours, this so called realm of existence real or is it just a pigment of our collective imagination? It is a question that we each have to come to our own personal conclusion just as the question, does God exist. At least for those of us who who have doubts and are not easily and blindly led by the faith and belief of the masses. We each and everyone of us have to seek and discover the truth to this enigma. The human mind is a tool that is not easily pacify by unproven concepts or realities, it is by its very nature a tool that dissects, investigates, until a right understanding is achieved and when this happens it is called enlightenment, minor or major depending upon the nature of this achievement. Eurika! Now i understand why birds can fly! Yes, this perhaps is a minor enlightenment, a state of what the Zen Buddhist call -Satori; I like calling inini-miracles. It happens to all of us at anytime of our lives and most of the time it goes unnoticed. Most of us take for granted that things just happens and no need to look any further just accept and move on, however some stop to think, to contemplate to ponder over the hows and the when and the why and these are the seekers, the ones that look witihin more so than without for answers. They are the ones that tries to connect the dots and complete the puzzle, they are often considered the radicals, the problematic ones by society at large as they find themselves at odds with what society has to offer them as answers.   

Science has been proving that matter is a flux of energy and subatomic particles being gathered together by gravitational pull and thus it is in reality the material objects including life forms are is essence made up of atomic particles. The theory of evolution further led us to beleive that man has evolved from the same single cell that all life forms originated from each evolving accordingly to its environment, and the adaptation towards the survival of the species. Against this principle, religions has doubted that the origin of man was from the lineage of the primates and man especially was introduced into the physical environment at a latter stage by the act of God. To doubt this is very serious offence in most major religions especially the mono theistic religions of the Judeo-Christian and Islamic faith. I have yet to come across any source of the Hindu and Buddhist stand on this issue; how was man created with the form that he possesses. Perhaps now that I have raised the question the answer will one day materialize in some form of scriptures n the Vedic tradition. In the Far Eastern countries like China, Japan and Korea among others there is no mention of how man evolved as a specie and it is almost as though t is an accepted fact that man simply appeared on earth as he is since the beginning. I will keep an open mind toward whatever will arise with regard to this knowledge and understanding. To me it is a crucial part of the puzzle that needs to be revealed for my own self discovery or the answer to my question of...Who or what am I?

Is this world we live in real? Is our temperary existence real? We have been given some time to find out and the journey to find out the answer lies within us for how we perceiive the world depends entirely on how we perceive ourselves. To perceive ourselves we have to journey inwards discovering the very nature of our genetic and spiritual nature; that which calls itself I. For eery lesson learned every discovery made, we unshackle ourselves from the conditioning of the external forms and we remove the veils that stand between us of what is unreal revealing the real. This we have to act upon and not merely acknowledge as a perception, we have to realize the truth behind all the falsehood and remove the darkness of ignorance by replacing it with the light of our inherent wisdom. Man is endowed with intelligence and if the theory of evolution is to be a criteria, human intelligence should by now become transcendental if not divine. In Islam it is said man has been placed upon this earth to be the caretaker and our intelligence is the tool that we are given in order that we may fulfill our designated task. However looking at where we are at and tha dire fate of the planet, it would be ironic that the reverse is true. Man has become worse than his fellow creatures destroying the very thing he has been assigned to care for. 

Self realization is the key to our very survival and to fully understand an accept the fact we are the specie that is at the very top of the food chain and at the same time the worse of the lot is answer to our predicament. We need to come to grip with the reality that we are responsible not only to ourselves but to the whole wellbeing of existence and in rder to realize this we have work to do. We have to educate or uneducate ourselves from the conditioning that we have been led into fro childhood, to realize that we live live on a borrowed time and that we share the smae fate as the rest of our fellow creatures. What we do with this our allotted time is decisive in ensuring that the God given intelligence and wisdom that we have does not go to waste or worse being put to negative actions. We have to earn  the right to become the caretaker or caregiver as the case may be and by our very nature help to heal and propagate wellness where suffering persist. If we are not able to do so, at the very least we are to resist from becoming the cause for suffering to others. By acknowledging that this life is impermanent and so is everything in it we must propagate the yer for the permanence that will help to keep this existence of ours free from excessive pain and suffering; this is the real.

       

Patience.

 Simplicity is not just about making life sipmle but also simplifying all there is to know and care about in life as I face all the odds that life has to offer and taking it as they say, easy. Life's complexity is all a manufacture of the mind that from day one of my existence has practically ran the show for my every experience. Sometimes life seems too complex and complicated too uddled and perplexing to handle and it seems like there is no way out and no end to this and I turned to NETFLIX and enjoy a series, However by stepping back and removing myself from the attachment to what was being presented before me I manage to slow down the loco-motion and make sense out of all the non sense that seems to occupy my(monkey) mind. Just as the mathematician brings it all down to the simplest formula a very complex mathematical theoretical equation, I try to sieve through my thoughts one at a time anddetach form their influences. What would be left would simply be the most recent if not demanding thought that needed to be addressed. This is best achieved through sitting meditation especially upon waking up early in the morning.  

I cannot emphasize enough on how important it is to sit and contemplate, ponder and reflect upon hoe one's mind functions even to the point of an obsession. Knowing the workings of the mind and understanding its pros and cons, like how it affects your daily moods is crucial towards self understanding; it is the antidote to depression and insanity. The mind is a good servant but a bad master, I have kept reminding myself, it can be put to use for you or it can abuse you worse than drugs; it's a necessary evil. Knowledge about the workings of the mind is not enough, the mind needs to be understood on the deepest level of understanding and in the end be cut off or discard totally from human consciousness. This is a tall order but it is not impossible to attain as ptoven by the great spiritual masters of the past. Whether in the Yogic tradition or the Zen, in the Sufi or the agnostic traditions of the great theistic religions of the world, the mind is considered a hinderence towards enlightenment; it is merely a tool to be honed and use and kept away when not in need.

Yes, ndeed like a broken rcord I will keep on repeating this 'Mantra' to myself that I am not the mind, nor am I the body. These are my tools of expression, my vehicle for transportation,while I am in this form of existence.Hence every now and then when I find myself in absolute silence devoid of any thought formations, I am able to askmyself ,Who Am I? Who is asking? In moments like these I can almost feel the voice of my Lord whispering within me; Patience, be patient, become a patient there is a whole lot of healing to be done yet, a whole lot of Karmic purification to be made. Patience! Ya Sabur, The Patient, is one of the Beautiful names of my Lord if not the final among His ninety nine attributes. Patience is an immovable virtue that protects and heals against all mental delusions, patience nullifies anger and various other strong emotional attacks to your heart, your soul. Sitting meditation is a practice of Patience.    

How to Slence the dual thinking mind.

Physical exercise of any kind is another form of keeping the dual thinking mind or the monkey mind as Sunryu Suzuki Roshi calls it, from wandering here and there. Whether you jog, do Tai Chi or Hatha Yoga, whether you dance or swim as your routine of exercises, if you do it consistently, you keep the mind occupied for a period of time. The more involved or vigorous the exercise the more you are able to still the mind. A 100 meters sprinter stops his or her mind from thinking absolutely,  he/she is frozen in the present moment focused absolutely on the run ahead. The sound of the starting gun triggers a spurt of energy unleashing the whole body nto action without a moment of thought, the runner seizes to exist,only running happens. The same happens in just about every sports activity whe performed with complete attention and determination; mind body and spirit merge to become one. In the art of Bushido, the Japanese for of martial art, the Samurai warrior trained to become one with his Katana or samurai blade. There seizes to be the man wielding the blade making the strike, there is only striking. The same is true with Zen and the Art of  Archer; man, bow and arrow and the target becomes one.

Yoga means to yoke or gather together or harness all the energies of the body mind and spirit together through some for of practice, whether it is through breath control as in Prana Yoga or physical exercizes as in hatha yoga or mind control as in Raja Yoga. In proper execution of each exercise breathing becomes the main focus, only through proper breathing can a perfect form be achieved in all activities. Hence in Zen practice, breathing is the key note to every action taken especially in Zazen or sitting meditation. Through right breathing the body mind and spirit states becomes aligned and a pure sense of peace and presence is achieved when this happens.When this is achieved in performing one's prayers, one becomes one with God; ther is no you and no God only prayer happens: form and emptiness becomes one, no worshiper and none that is worshiped.

Hence the silence of the mind through any form of practice when achieved effortlessly unites the mundane with the sublime which also happens when one witnesses a glorious sunset or a beautiful flower. In this pure sense of witnessing the thinking mind ceases to exist only te presence of the beauty is experienced n all its glory. The moment thought emerges to describe or even express this beauty, the experience is gone; this is the essence of desire, the desire to own, to cling on to, to prolong the experience, how often we say, "What a beautiful sunset, I wish I have my camera."

#sunsyusuzuki #taichi #yoga #hathayoga #rajayoga #zazen #bushido

Looking for the way out from mental formations.

And so I have often asked myself at the end of the day, how do I fit it all in, how do i finish this jigsaw puzzle of my life, how do I bring to a conclusion as to what is the truth or reality that governs this realm of my existence. iN SHORT HOW DO i MAKE SENSE OUT OF ALL THESE NON SENSE! ( accidental typo error seems apropos). All these years of accumulating and digesting knowledge from every possible sources are but mere grist for the mill, compost to feed the soil, the worms and the vegetables that feeds me. Past experiences from childhood to adulthood keeps popping up their heads reminding me of the time that was, but in truth has nothing more to offer in terms of my spiritual growth and development but just memories some of which are best left forgotten, buried for good in the primordial ground of my being as they have played their role and have become nothing more than an irrelevant baggage that weighs me down. It is again time for a good housekeeping, spring cleaning, lawn mowing project for the body, mind and the spirit. Easier said than done no doubt but it has been one of those practices that have carried with me this catharsis of the soul every now and then, especially when the septic tanks runs full and threatens to over flow. 

Much has yet to be learned and much has yet to be rid of and yes this is the ego voicing out, out of ignorance and wrong perceptions of what is the real and the truth;  that there is no mind nor is there any attainment towards being liberated from it. It is all a mental construct  the matrix of the mental state of consciousness conditioned by the illusory external manifestations or phenomena, the unreal. Running in circles is what it is all about, while packing the same old baggage looking for answers that are not there to begin with; a mental masturbation. In the mean time suffering persist within and without, it seems there is no end to it in sight. Why? How? When? If not now when? if not here where? Will there ever be eternal peace and tranquility while in this realm of existence? How deep rooted is my karma, how bad a sinner am I that I am haunted by so much discord, anxiety and fear? Or is it all just my conscience working overtime as I get older and approaching the hole in the ground? This is what being hauted by a Mayavic mind feels like, no matter how great a tstate the yogurt smoothy you hold in your hand you still feel like tere is something not right with your life. This is the monkey mind that rides your every moment in sleep and wakefulness no matter how comfortable your bed or how beautiful your partner or the day be; getting rid of this rascal is a prime directive for all those who seek sanity in life.

Acceptance and the feeling of gratefulness are all that I can come up with in facing this predicament; It is the healing potion that the ancient has handed down for man when dealing with a bad situation. I feel that it is a very potent advice and have been putting it to practice for some time now. Accepting a situation no matter how dire  it may seem makes it loose its bitterness, like adding sugar to black coffee. By acceptance I feel myself still in control and not the other way round, I make the choice of how to face the situation and not surrender to what is fated. Accceptance also gives me a chance to  step back and take a closer look at what is taking place, how I have allowed for it to happen and how it affects me and ultimately what can I do about it to change the scenario. Being thankful or grateful for the experience is again my choice of not allowing the event to take the upper hand in my life. No matter how negative the experience may be there is a lesson to be learned and I am thankful for this. Insread of giving in to my weaknesses of the past mistakes, poor judgments and so forth, I am able to turn the negative into a positive outcome. A Muslim will utter Alhamdullilah especially when he suffers from any tribulation, giving thanks to the All Mighty for the chalenge He has placed before him to deal with. In Islam, God is a Tester and everything that man faces in the course of his life is a test of his faith and wisdom in dealing with them. 

I made this observation as I am writing this post and it was not that i thought about it beforehand to come up with the answer, the answer has been in my heart all along just waiting to be be expressed. 

As I have eexpressed in the past time and again, I write it alldown not to advice others but to remind myself of who I am and what my strength and weaknesses are so that i can keep facilitating the healing process towards understanding my own mind, to use it rather than let it abuse me. Even if i feel I have touched the peak of the mystique mountain in my practice, I now i am still now totally free from my negative mental formations. 

There is no sure fired way to keep the mind in complete silence, however there are simple ways one can bring the mind to a gradual slowdown and become more stable. These are no Yogic gymnastics nor some mysterious exotic practice but simple day to day routine activities. Work is a sure means towards getting the mind to stay somewhat focus unto one subject or attention. The more deeply into what we do we submerge our mind the more settled it becomes not scattered into the four directions like wild horses dragging a chariot into four different directions. The Japanese Zen Practice has a period of morning work schedule for more or less house keeping. Here the idea is not so much as to do sweep or mop the floor, clean the altar or rake the garden, it is to mindfully observe the mind while working with the idea that it is the mind that is being cleansed. It is not surprising to find mirror like polished wooden floors and sitting platforms in the Zendo, or meditation hall, in old temples all over Japan  this being the result of years if not hundreds of years of doing "Houskeeping" Practice.  

"We sweep dust to remove our worldly desires. We scrub dirt to free ourselves of attachments. We live simply and take time to contemplate the self, mindfully living each moment. It’s not just monks who need to live this way. Everyone in today’s busy world needs to do it." ..Shoukei Matsumoto.

 This Mindfulness practice applies to all our daily activities whether we are cooking or carpentering, gardening or simply running a corporate organization,; Housekeeping comes first, purify and quiet your mind.

  

Trapped within Time and Space.

 

 Lost in time and space, is the theme of this an several others of the same style and technique, part of a series, The foot and palm prints are from afive year old girl who is now about 12-13 years of age. I can call this works lost in time and space for that matter. My artworks has always been created to capture the moment of what or where I was while executing them. Just as my journals and sketches and as now my bogging were meant to do, it is an effort o document each and every moment of my words thoughts and deed as closely and frequently as I possibly could. It was a thought promoted by J.Krishnamurti in one of his works that struck me as an impossibility, however now that I look back at it over the years, watching the mind, how it functions daily if not moment to moment is not impossible at all. One of the ways I realized is the fact that I have kept an on going journal in the form of writing, sketching, picture taking and various other methods that comes to mind that i can closely watch how my mind functions. 

Throughout this Blogging I have been documenting my journey in life as much and as thoroughly as i can recollect and after all these years and after some 2300 postings, one would think that i have gotten somewhere, learned something about my self or at least how my mind works. Not really, to accept the truth, far from it; I am still at a lost and in the dark as to who or what I truly am other than what i think of who I am or according what others think of who I am.I find myself time and again running in circles like ring around the rossies, and repeating the same old story or lyrics on a broken record. No the mind is a mystery that is beyond my normal and conditioned perception to grasp and grapple with; the mind is as slippery and can be as vicious as a rattle snake if not understood. The mind on the other hand is capable of creating the Universe and all that is within and without if fully understood; the Mind is just a word with no meaning or a Word that means God.

 Space and time are concepts almost all modern day thinking minds albeit scientists or otherwise are in agreement to this fact, however the question is how does man utilize this realization to fulfill his aspirations,dreams and vision about his life? How does he free himself from the conditioning of being in the state governed by the laws of time and space concepts; how does he free himself from this Maya. Not that he has to or must do so for any particular reason, but for the sake of his personal growth out of this conditioned and limiting state of existence he should at the very least try to have a handle on this phenomena. Man is trapped in Space and Time of his own  construction and consciously or unconsciously he has been struggling to be liberated from the concept, if not physically, spiritually. 

 

Is there or is there not - God?

 Yesterday evening I listened to a J.Krishnamurti talk on You Tube that someone had posted on Face Book on a group page called The Rascals Picnic. The video talk was about if God exist and if he, Krishnamurti believes in God. The talk was held in Madras, India sometime in 1981-82, before a predominantly Hindu audience, which in itself to me must have been a dangerous effort for anyone to take on whether he believes or does not in the existence of a Creator, Lord of the Universe, Omnipresent, Omniscience, Eternal and so forth. Primarily K questioned his audience on who created who, did we create God or God created us. In India itself it is said that there are more than 300000 Gods or more so who created all these Gods to whom the Hindus devote with the shower of money and rituals. "Believe has no place where truth is concern," this is the key to what I derived from this talk. And as the Buddha is said to have uttered to His Cousin Ananda just before His death, "Unto yourself alone have faith for liberation from this existence." This is the essence of what K's message was to his Hindu audience and is to me.

Not in Scriptures or in books, not from the words of the Guru or the Saints and Prophets, not even from the teachings of Gautama the Buddha Himself must one place one's 'faith', but in one's own complete Awareness or Being of who You are. Herein lies the paradox, in order to attain to the sense of Complete Awareness or Being, one has to discover a thorough and complete understanding of who you are and this can only be achieved through understanding the teachings of Guru and Saints, Books and scriptures and that of the teachings of Gautama the Buddha; there is no short cut to discovering the Truth unless one is a Buddha by birth already and even for this to happen, one would have to have evolved for eons from one life to another before finally achieving the final liberation and becoming a Buddha. So is there a God, One in Whose Image you are created and and by Whose Will you are manifesting your life here on earth? Is there a God that is Merciful and Compassionate,  Loving and yet Wrathful if crossed? Is there a God whose punishment and reward is Heaven and Hell in the afterlife, Is there a God who created men unequal and allow for decadence and death and the suffering of His creatures to become rampant just to make His point and yet tells man that "The Truth Shall Set You Free."Is there a God who declares Himself a jealous God? If there is, then I am in deep divine shit.

For God to exist, I have to exist as a witness, otherwise there is no validity to the question if or if not- God exist. It is an age old riddle of the chicken and the egg, which comes first, or who created who? Blasphemous to even think of such thoughts for a Muslim or any of the Judaic, Christian and Islamic faith and having faith is the key to being a good or devoted religious person. The gates to heaven itself are hinged upon faith and devotion to hold them up for without these two virtues religion has no hold upon humanity. Fear is the key that opens the gate for it is out of fear that man succumbs to faith and devotion, the fear of living and dying and the fear of suffering during both. If man has no knowledge or any inherent sense of fear in him, God would not exist, not heaven nor hell would hold any meaning to him. It is through fear no matter how deep or strong the denial may be, that man bows his head and worship God. Very few worship God out of love and devotion and fewer yet of those who were force to have faith out of fear for thier lives through wars and conquests, those that embrace a religion out of necessity. Then again this is all my own take and God knows I have been wrong on a great many occasions where the subject of faith is concern; and yes there is definitely fear in me too, the fear of dying in ignorance.

At one point in his talk, Krishnamurti declared that he did not believe in a God or that God exists; it does not hurt God that one man declares himself so, nor does it gives comfort to God if another declares his devotion. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, this or that where God is concern is there? God is existence itself and  non existent- emptiness, void simultaneously. We may be created in God's image but God is not created and has no image; man has to cease creating God in his image. As the Buddha's teaching implied, God has no issues to take care of but man suffers from the day he was born till the day they bury him. If man needs to have great faith and devotion to uphold to he should devote them to himself; the one who is placed upon the face of the earth to endure pain and suffering regardless his status in life. Hence to discover ne's true nature is more important that to question the existence of God, for man has to cease to exist before God can be. The Buddha final words before attaining to His 'Pari-Nirvana' was said to be, " I'm No More!" The Buddha may not have uttered, "Only God is," but this is for me to figure out for myself, through the right understanding my own Buddha Nature, Who Am I?.

"The Kingdom of Heaven is within you,

whosoever shall nkow himself, shall find it."

Egyptian Book of the Dead.

#jkrishnamurti,# egyptianbookofhe dead

 

    

What immortality is to me.

Human beings has sought immortality perhaps as the final goal throughout human history. Just as the alchemist sought to turn lead into gold, mankind's quest for the eternal life has been a quest for many who has walked the spiritual as well as the scientific life.although it is like trying to walk a camel through the eye of a needle, human history has revealed to us that this quest for immortality is far from a fiction for great minds of old and modern alike has embark upon this futile journey towards attaining what is the impossible and perhaps there are those who have attained it however have not revealed themselves to the public for one reason or another. " Legen of the wandering Jew," was a short novel that I have read when I was a teenager in high school and this short story stuck in my mind ever since for some odd reason.(Wandering Jew, in Christian legend, character doomed to live until the end of the world because he taunted Jesus on the way to the Crucifixion.) Another character whose story attracted my attention is the Muslim Prophet, Kihdr(as). In various Islamic and non-Islamic traditions, Khidr is described as a messenger, prophet, wali, slave or angel, who guards the sea, teaches secret knowledge and aids those in distress. As guardian angel, he prominently figures as patron of the Islamic saint Ibn Arabi and was also encountered by the Sufi saint Sheikh Kadir Al Jilani and according to the Quran taught Moses of the virtues of being patient when they met. In the Taoist legend of China, there are the Eight Immortals, these were Wise men and saints who had evolved into immortals and worshiped as Gods.

In the Hindu Vedic tradition, man has an immortal soul called Atman, a soul that survives after the demise of the physical human form. The atman transmigrate from one form into another evolving as it goes along towards becoming one with Brahman or God according to its spiritual performances while in each form.off course I am over simplifying the whole process, however in essence man is immortal in his own being and will attain to this nature through a gradual increment through positive action. It is said in the Quran that the sole purpose, God created man and jinn is that they worship Him. I would replace worship with servitude, that they serve God by caring for His creation including man himself. Having created man in His image he has also imbued him with His attributes and it is for man impart these attributes as he lives his life. More and more today man has drifted far from his divine attribute of Love,Patience, Compassion, Giving, Forgiving etc. and become self centered and self servicing. These are the moral virtues that decides a man his 'karmic' fate in his spiritual evolutionary ladder. Almost all religions practices this in one form or another; it is what places man above all other creatures.

For a clearer and more detailed discourses on this subject of immortality, the You Tube and the Internet as a whole has much to offer for our benefit. Today we are given less and less lee way for excuses to being ignorant when it comes to spiritual matters pertaining to our well being. The COVID -19 pandemic has also given us an opportunity to stay home and do our spiritual homework, to discover our true nature as best we can and to stand with our fellow man as one collective spiritually immortal entity like God.

#god,#quran,#khidr,#sheikhkadiraljilani 

The Rambling continues.

  I have expressed time and again that I write not because I would one day become a great writer, I beleive it is too much work for one thing, I write simly because I enjoy writing about anything and everything that comes acrosss my mind. Yes, things are never ending in coming across my mind like and endless flotsam floating up or down the river depending on the tide and I like to sit and watch what floats by, sometimes the same piece of garbage would turn up time and again like an old buddy seeking attention. These are my mental formations from past accumulations of attractions and attachments, from experiences and projections, these are the by product or the waste matter of my actions and consequences of. I sit and watch them float by, who am I sitting and watching? I write to keep reminding myself that there is a part of me that has been doing this like a watchman who job it is and has been to be an observer of what is going on with my mind in relationship to what is my external relationship to the external manifestations of my consciousness; for the river or the highway is my consciousness   

What a tedious and boring thing to be doing this sitting and watching what arises and what disappears before my mind's eye day in and day out, while awake or asleep? I thas not earned me a nickle or a dime and it is like watching clouds in an empty sky as the come and go? But do it I persist like ther is a mandate for me to do so by some unwritten laws of cause and effect.; like God or the Buddha insist that it is my duty to do so and what is worse, I gave it a name, I call it meditation. Then I began making mental notes of what attracts me most among the garbage that floats along before me and I attach myself to dwelling upon these for whatever reason they evoke in me by their very appearances. The moment I am attracted to an item it attaches itself to me and my mind elaborates and exaggerates over its form and identity, giving it my attention like an episode or a story that it is related to; I bring it to life and it stays with for as long as it seemed interesting or until it becomes a pain or a nuisance and I am forced to let it go. Yes, this is how my mind works, this is how my time has been wasted throughout my entire life and I am writing about it just to remind myself of what a waste of time it is; calling it a form of practice or meditation.

However if persistency is a virtue as a part of a positive human development process, then, I must admit to myself that I am on the right right track towards attaining whatever it is to be attained at the end of the line. I have been writing for  most of my adult life mostly about nothing worth bragging about other than about myself, my personal take on life in general and where and what I have done. As it is said that nobody reads anymore from books or journals, so who or what I am writing for is really of no significance except towards my own personal self development; how I grow old. If there be any lesson worth to be learned, it is in seeing the progression of my inner and outer journey for the past seventy odd years. I have inadvertently been doing what any psychiatrist would advice me to do if I were a patient and that is to wrtie down my thoughts, feelings, dreams and imaginations and so forth. Has it been a help? Yes and no but it is still a fun thing to do especially when you are trapped in your home during this COVID-19 pandemic. 

    

Understanding the source of originality in our creative endeavor.

 As long as I am breathing I will be thinking, thoughts never end; they will subside but they never end. It is a fact that your breath controls the flow of your thinking mind which ironically eventually ends when you stop breathing , once and for all and you are dead. Normally when you 'catch your breath' or when you heave a long sigh of relief, you sneeze or you focus you mind on your breathing alone, your thinking mind is affected in one way or another. Hence when ou attain Samadhi or absolute silence through meditation or through absolute focus on an intention like starting a one hundred meter dash, your mind stops thinking. The cessation of thoughts happens when the mind is totally occupied with an action or absolute focus upon an intention through the awareness of one's breath. This is one of the purposes of doing Zazen or sitting meditation. Primarily the goal of Zazen is the cessation of thoughts or at the very least to bring the mind into direct focus of what is here and now. To achieve a state of peace and tranquility within amidst the busy-ness of everyday life. To let go of that which is unreal and focus on the reality that presents itself when the mind is not clouded by incessant thinking. .

Professionals in every field of endeavor, albeit a scientist, an artist, a song writer, a chef, whatever the trade or undertaking to produce an original work is paramount. Originality is a cornerstone, a marker for a successful work produced by any professional in their field that transcends all other works in the same field. originality stands out as fruit of original ideas never before expressed by other in similar field. The question is where does originality originates from. A mind that is influenced by external events, thoughts and ideas will never produce an original product that is a product never before thought of or expressed into forms. Hence originality will have to come from within, from the recesses of one's unconscious or subconscious mind where where the ground of primordial state resides laying dormant until triggered by a stimuli or shaken loose by an extraordinary circumstance that has taken place in the external environment. This can also happen while in a state of absolute silence of the mind whereby an opening occurs for the latent state of consciousness is allowed to emerge unobstructed. An epiphany, an intuition, a stroke of genius, whatever the result may be, the originality emerge from within the creator inner state of subconsciousness or the unconscious. For this to happen the ground work has to be laid out by the individual in the form of practice or discipline or simply having a thorough understanding of the inner engineering of the human psyche. 

#zazen,#innerengineering

What life truly means to me.

 As I have mentioned many times in the past in my Blog, I am eclectic,(deriving ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources,) by nature and how this was revealed to me was through a dream I had when I was visiting a well known artist in Central City, Colorado y the name of Angelo  Dedenidetto, ( I would need a spelling check on his name as it has been a long time since). I have written in detail of this event in my life and so will not delve further into it, however suffice to say that it was an accurate evaluation of my character by whoever had made these observations of my nature in the dream. Hence listening to David Carse's Audio Book, Perfect Brilliant Stillness -Lomakayu, or the Maharaj Nisargadatta's talks or all the other talks are to me part and process of my being eclectic in my choices of who or what makes me -Me. I made it a point even before I stumbled upon the eclectic and unrstood its meaning to never swallo any thoughts or ideas on blind faith alone,echoing the Buddha's words of never to accept anything as the truth simply because it was uttered even by Himself; trust my own instinct, gut feelings, if it don't sit right it's not for me.

My soul is on the line where my spiritual journey is concern, I am looking to fully uderstand who or what I truly am while in this realm of existence and I have done my share of footwork and homework in the matter. I am not seeking for enlightenment nor a way of escaping from my past transgressions; perhaps I am seeking the light at the end of this tunnel I am in. The weight of the matter has weighed upon my shoulders and the cause of much migraine in my head, of sleepless nights and like a burning iron ball in the pit of my stomach I carry this most of my adult life. The Truth as the Christ said would set me free andin this I hold firmly to be true. I feel the truth lies within me dormant and waiting for the right moment and Master Key that would unlock it, an embryo waiting to be born. The words of wisdom of the ancient and modern spiritual masters are like like rain falling upon my ground of self consciousness, food for my thoughts, signs and guides along the path , that I may not stray too far from the course of my destiny. 

I have placed my complete faith and trust in my Lord, my Creator way back when I was confronted with my faith and spiritual issues and way before the question of who am i arise. As a converted Muslim I call by the Name Allah, Lord of Creation, just as Christian would call Him God or Elohim or a Hindu, Brahman, a Jew would call Him Yahweh or Jehovah. among other names. No matter how much science or the so called, free thinkers can justify otherwise, I am not an atheist; I believe in a Higher Being, I believe in, if the word God or Allah is offensive to those who don't, I believe in a Higher Consciousness,call it a Cosmic Consciousness if you will. Perhaps in this realm of existence I am a mere animal evolving towards my highest possible form, however I know fully well that there are so called human that has evolved into the worse kind of animals and only a divine intervention can change and alter the course of their evolution; he who  answers to no higher self is a demon worse than an animal in the wild for he answers only to himself and as the saying goes, he gets away with murder; it is said that even demons has to answer to their masters for any demonic transgressions.

I fear death only because I have  not understood life, why was i alive and it is my ultimate desire that i have a glimpse of the truth of what my life was all about. Some will say that I am playing my role, my part in this realm of Cosmic Consciousness, while others will say that I am just thread in the net of the human experience, these are just thoughts and perceptions that the mind has evolved to justify my being here. I sense that there is much more to this life than just having a name and a livelihood, I feel it deep within me a much higher purpose that is hidden behind the veils of illusions that I am am being made to accept to be what this life is all about and this is what i intend to unravel as thoroughly as I can before I make my final exit; failing to do this would simply mean that I ahve truly wasted my life.

Time for the final count down towards self liberation.

 After years of posting my blog, 2372 to date I am finding out that I really not idea what in heaven's name I am talking about when it comes to the subject of spirituality or religion for that matter. I thought I had a good handle on the subject but of late I am not sure anymore. After listening to several talks on the subject I am less convince than I used to be as to my perception about things or where I stand in relation to what I discovered from these talks on spiritual matters. Talks by the Hindu Guru Nisargadatta Maharaj especially, I find very convincing and challenging in its content. It's not easy to put into words about how i feel about his talks or ideas, however the ideas gives me a great deal to chew on and digest and has become another added dimension to my personal spiritual quest. It is perfectly alright, I am ok with what has been laid out before me as it is yet another corner stone to take a turn by. It as thought every time I thought I have got it, it is not what the answer is and it takes me yet to anotyher level of understanding.

I have also been listening to the video series on You Tube called,"Perfect Brilliant Stillness," a very thought provoking engaged and well laid out and read audio book. This is an amalgamation, if I may call it that, of most of the great spiritual minds across the globe. Fro the Shamans of the Amazon, the Natvie Americans, The Great Hindu Rishis and Chinese Chaan Masters and Japanese Zen Roshi, from Rumi and Kabir to contemporary Philosophers such as J and G.Krishnamurti, to name a few For me personally it is like a coming to a conclusion of my spiritual journey, however what the future holds is yet to be. I feel like my path is gradually being narrowed down towards a final point of completion. There is no doubt that the path gets more bumpy and treacherous for one who as committed himself to so many faiths and belief system over the years and giving up all these is what is asked for. It is like the evolution of the spiritual man is coming to a full fruition for those who have been on the spiritual journey. It is a challenge, to take on this new direction of giving up, of stopping of unloading the baggage and starting from ground zero. The irony is that I know I have to stop thinking and which also means to stop writing my thoughts and perceptions down as I am at this moment doing. To fully embark upon this path would mean abandoning all hope and expectations, giving up all my comfort zones and safety net, even my faith in God as I have come to understand it. However if this is what it takes, than I have no qualms in taking to the path for from what I have heard and learned, though may still not fully grasp,I feel that there is genuine truth in what is being laid out.

It is my feeling that this is the end product of the Collective Human Consciousness reaching it apex, the Summit of the Mystique Mountain. Herein I will have to take my leap of faith into the abyss that lies before and what happens, happens. It is time to let go of the straws that I have been clinging on to and drown myself into the sea of infinite possibilities and limitless consciousness. All the teachings I have bathed myself with in the past is now being churned and blended together to create the final stage of Liberation of my spirit, my soul, my self. As much as my small mind, my ego would put up a fight for its survival, I have to stay fixed and focused upon what arises from my acceptance of the challenge placed before me on my path towards discovering .Who am I?     

How do I feel about Penang today as an old man. -2

 I am not against development so long as the development benefits the local as it should. I am against wanton development that is carried out forthe sake of benefiting those involved in the projects; the authorities and the developers. I am against development that depreciate the natural beauty of the landscape and causes more congestion to the traffic flow in and around the city. I am development that caters to he whims of the well to do especially those who can afford to buy and rent out or sell homes simply as investments and most of these would end up being sold to foreign investors, which is rampantly happening in Penang. Most expensive homes are being purchased by foreigner via local proxies I am told. It is sad indeed when the Island has become to be peddled like a pie making it impossible for the locals to keep up with rising so called standard of living simply because some foreigner wants to own a second or vacation home. Real estate investments has become a lucrative business at thye expense of the locals as the presuure of keeping up with rising cost jeopardizes their livelihood and welfare of being.

When my son got into trouble at his school I was asked to appear before the Principal who was a Chinese to discuss his misdemeanor and as the discussion progressed it came to the cost of living a an issue. The Principal suggested that I should move my family to the mainland where i could afford to live rather than remain living on the Island. I let him have my thoughts over the matter short of grabbing the thick cane  had laying before me on his table and letting him have a taste of it across his mouth. Witnessed by my son's counseling teacher and his classroom teacher the principal apologized for his error. I told him to get off his high horse and stop teaching me how to live and where to live my life. I told him that he was a bigot assuming that Malays cannot afford to live on the Island anymore and that we should all move out. I told him how I had lived 21 years of my life in the United States, ten years of which was spent in San Francisco where my son was born and three years in Japan where my two children attended one of the most expensive kindergarten in Sendai. I also told how my Grand Uncle had been the caretaker of this very school most of his life since he came to Penang from Sri Lanka  That my Grand Uncle was also the caretaker of the Mahindrama Buddhist temple located across the street from where the school is and that all the Murals witihn the temple walls were done by my grandfather. I asked him what has he got to be proud of being a Principal of a school; I was pissed.

My two cents worth of advice to the Chinese is to be be more sensitive in the ways they treat the local Penang Malays especially those who are struggling to make ends meet. The Chinese has to close the widening gap between the two races in wealth social as well as economic well being or they stand to loose it all when the smoldering hot ashes catches fire. I have spent allot of my time among the poor Malay fishermen and listened to their dissatisfaction have a good sense that all is not well and like the former Prime Minister said, "We are sitting on a time bomb waiting to go off." With this COVID-19 pandemic it makes matters worse. for the predicament we are in. I am not saying that the Chinese have to support the Malays in any way but by simply not showing off their wealth or being socially as friendly as the Chinese of my childhood years and by simply being respectful instead of showing arrogance in their daily accounter with their fellow man. Perhaps it is in their inherent nature and nt much can be done about it. One can never change what is in the world but one can change oneself and understand that all all is an illusion of one's own perceptions and understanding of what is real and unreal. Thee are my very own personal observation and my intuitive feelings, not my being bias or judgmental towards my fellow beings, those born and raised in Penang, no matter their background.   

 

   

How do I feel about Penang Island today as an old man.

 I was interviewed by a group of people led by a  'social-cultural' researcher accompanied by two local cartoonists about the Penang Island and her development through the years through the eyes of the older folks. As I was not sure positively of what the objective was, whether it was about artists or about being a Penang born resident I answered as best I could to the questions as they were put to me. Early this morning at my witching hour of 3 am. I was awaken as usual and sat to contemplate over what had transpired yesterday afternoon and it dawned on me that I should address a few questions with my deeper feelings I truly have with regard to the question, how I feel about the Island and my experience having lived for seventy years of my life here off and on. I realize that the interview was not really focused on my being a local artist as much as me growing up and my personal take on ho the Island has evolved environmentally, economically and socially. Then again I could be mistaken.

Here I would like to add to the interview my feelings which more centered towards the Island and its people rather than me being an artist. The most important question asked was how I feel about the growth and development of the Island and the social welfare of the people.in short do I like how or what Penang has developed into and my answer was more or less ambivalent, both like and dislike, there's good and there's what could be better or better not. Environmentally speaking Penang like most major metropolis is headed for and environmental disaster if wanton development is not checked. Ideas like the construction of an undersea tunnel and man made islands off the coastal areas of the Island should be scrapped as a developer's pipe dream and so is the construction of luxury apartments that hardly a local can afford. The environmental impact this will have and is already happening will be a long term detriment to the well being of the environment in and around the island. The few rivers that feeds into the island are no doubt as polluted as to be among the worse in the country and one ask when was the real assessment of the staus of these rivers last done and what was the result. The effluents resulting from over construction of apartments all over the Georgetown alone is scary to imagine how much sewage and waste matter is being generated and thrown into the environment. The cleanest sea water that can be found unpolluted by man made I was told sometime in 1982 by a friend who worked at the aquarium which was then located in Hudini road area, was six miles offshore and that was way back when. It would not be impossible that largest landfill on the Island located adjacent to the Lim chong Eu Highway will reach the mainland. We cannot deny that leaching of pollutants from this site alone is detrimental to the marine life all around the coastal areas. the effects may not be apparent presently but only time will tell if it is not already as fishermen are finding lesser and lesser catch close to home. 

The levelling of hillsides all over the Island for more land to buid condominiums and various other highways and hotels is slowly eating away at the one natural and pristine landscape and those who can afford it would like to have a home perched on the highest site possible to overlook the rest of the Island. One of the question or statement I often got when I retur to the East Coast state of Terengganu where I grew up was,  " the Chinese have bought up all te Malay lands and my answer was always, "Yes, but it is not their fault that the Malays were selling them, however the Chinese are selling them off to foreign buyers who can afford to buy them. It's ll business investments, just money to be made." But what happen to the Malay Kampungs? They have become a part of history most of them their one time pristine kampung life has been converted into the urban  jungle that City of Georgetown is turning into. Most of the Malays have found their way to the Mainland where they can start new an updated kampungs. There is no doubt that Penang will one day become like Singapore or Hong Kong or a poorer version of it but with the loss of its natural beauty and social cultural wealth.

When I was asked the question of how I feel about Penang upon my return afters years of being away by the interviewer, this is my thoughts and feelings among many others that are more personal in nature. These I will get into in my later postings.