As I have mentioned many times in the past in my Blog, I am eclectic,(deriving ideas, style, or taste from a broad and diverse range of sources,) by nature and how this was revealed to me was through a dream I had when I was visiting a well known artist in Central City, Colorado y the name of Angelo Dedenidetto, ( I would need a spelling check on his name as it has been a long time since). I have written in detail of this event in my life and so will not delve further into it, however suffice to say that it was an accurate evaluation of my character by whoever had made these observations of my nature in the dream. Hence listening to David Carse's Audio Book, Perfect Brilliant Stillness -Lomakayu, or the Maharaj Nisargadatta's talks or all the other talks are to me part and process of my being eclectic in my choices of who or what makes me -Me. I made it a point even before I stumbled upon the eclectic and unrstood its meaning to never swallo any thoughts or ideas on blind faith alone,echoing the Buddha's words of never to accept anything as the truth simply because it was uttered even by Himself; trust my own instinct, gut feelings, if it don't sit right it's not for me.
My soul is on the line where my spiritual journey is concern, I am looking to fully uderstand who or what I truly am while in this realm of existence and I have done my share of footwork and homework in the matter. I am not seeking for enlightenment nor a way of escaping from my past transgressions; perhaps I am seeking the light at the end of this tunnel I am in. The weight of the matter has weighed upon my shoulders and the cause of much migraine in my head, of sleepless nights and like a burning iron ball in the pit of my stomach I carry this most of my adult life. The Truth as the Christ said would set me free andin this I hold firmly to be true. I feel the truth lies within me dormant and waiting for the right moment and Master Key that would unlock it, an embryo waiting to be born. The words of wisdom of the ancient and modern spiritual masters are like like rain falling upon my ground of self consciousness, food for my thoughts, signs and guides along the path , that I may not stray too far from the course of my destiny.
I have placed my complete faith and trust in my Lord, my Creator way back when I was confronted with my faith and spiritual issues and way before the question of who am i arise. As a converted Muslim I call by the Name Allah, Lord of Creation, just as Christian would call Him God or Elohim or a Hindu, Brahman, a Jew would call Him Yahweh or Jehovah. among other names. No matter how much science or the so called, free thinkers can justify otherwise, I am not an atheist; I believe in a Higher Being, I believe in, if the word God or Allah is offensive to those who don't, I believe in a Higher Consciousness,call it a Cosmic Consciousness if you will. Perhaps in this realm of existence I am a mere animal evolving towards my highest possible form, however I know fully well that there are so called human that has evolved into the worse kind of animals and only a divine intervention can change and alter the course of their evolution; he who answers to no higher self is a demon worse than an animal in the wild for he answers only to himself and as the saying goes, he gets away with murder; it is said that even demons has to answer to their masters for any demonic transgressions.
I fear death only because I have not understood life, why was i alive and it is my ultimate desire that i have a glimpse of the truth of what my life was all about. Some will say that I am playing my role, my part in this realm of Cosmic Consciousness, while others will say that I am just thread in the net of the human experience, these are just thoughts and perceptions that the mind has evolved to justify my being here. I sense that there is much more to this life than just having a name and a livelihood, I feel it deep within me a much higher purpose that is hidden behind the veils of illusions that I am am being made to accept to be what this life is all about and this is what i intend to unravel as thoroughly as I can before I make my final exit; failing to do this would simply mean that I ahve truly wasted my life.
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