Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Where I am at...

 What saddens me about my life of late is the fact that I find myself becoming more and more 'not caring'. It feels like I ma in the process of committing suicide mentally and spiritually and if this is any indication f growing old, it is very sad indeed. I have always regarded myself as being creative in my approach to life, not just because i am an artist or have aspired to become one, but more so than that it is the fact that i have in the past look at life with all seriousness and appreciated it in all its glory and awesomeness; i have it seemed lost that childlike sense of curiosity and bewilderment.

Like most, I have engrossed myself into the what the Internet has to offer, from endless movies, Facebook, You Tube lectures and numerous other postings, that I feel saturated with what is out there, the going on in the the world. As one who has been aspiring towards being devoid of thoughts in my mind I have instead become thought infested. I have allowed too much senseless information into my head and have practically lost my sense of presence, of being here in the moment uncluttered by any form of thought formation; perhaps why truth seekers flee to the forest and mountain retreats?
As much as would love to be able to take off and disappear from this present environment I am in events in my life would not permit me to. My responsibility towards my children for their well being and the COVID-19 status at present makes it not a wise move to pursue. Hence I have to make do with what is before me and strive to remain true to my course as an artist or as I would call it, The Art of Living (as an Artist). To be creative no matter the form and whatever the process, I will keep of trudging along producing and expressing myself as I am doing now.
Wati Dzulkifly, Grazyna Kaminska and 31 others
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