"In any future contest between Islam and Buddhism, Islam is bound to emerge victorious. ^=This must be so because of the clear superiority of Islam over Buddhism as a religion which is capable of responding to the awesome challenges of the modern age,-political, economic, moral, spiritual etc."
Chapter Ten,
Comparison Of Islam and Buddhism.
Islam and Buddhism in the Modern World.
By; Imran Nazar Hosein
Scriptural comparison;
I do not doubt that the author must have done a great deal of research on the teachings of the Buddha and especially on the Buddhist Texts which he has himself admitted to be extensive and in two canons; that of the Pali and and the Sanskrit. The Buddha is said to have taught in the Pali canon originally and through His miraculous powers also simultaneously imparted his sermons in Sanskrit. The Buddha was a miracle worker just like the Christ and the Prophet of Islam; it is for one to accept the fact or not depending on one's prejudices. I grew up both as a Buddhist as well as a Muslim due to family circumstance and my sense of curiosity and the urge to know. I take to study both the religions very close through every form they present to me albeit reading, listening observing or worshiping and have come to realize in my own way what is for me the nature of their truths.
I do not claim to be an expert on Buddhissm nor Islam but i feel for both like they have been a strong part of my consciousness in Being who I am. I was born a Buddhist and later at the age of twelve converted to Islam, however i was exposed to Islam while growing up among my relatives and cousins who were all Muslims. In short I was exposed to the question of religious believe and of faith at a very early age and had I not the mind that could swim with the current of the time I would have drowned with insanity from struggling with the issues of right and wrong. Today I am still unveiling the truths that has merged from my quest to understand both the religions which is a part of me; how can I reconcile and justify to my Maker.
I spent two years of my life in doing a solid Zen Buddhist Practice in San Francisco where I was exposed to some of the most intriguing Buddhist texts and met some of the most outstanding Buddhist Scholars of our times. I walked out ( more like evicted) of the monastery awakened; at least i felt so even for a brief period of time in my life, I felt a sense of liberation from the bonds of ignorance, fear and delusions. This i felt grateful to the teachings of the Buddha and later when I stepped back home to Malaysia and took upon the practice of Islam I felt only sadness and slowly succumbed to rejection of what I see. Islam as practiced and preached by the so called ulamas and ustaz I came upon is far from instilling in me a sense of belonging, a sense of pride, or even a sense of truth. This was evideneced in the manner in which my late wife suffered in just trying to be converted to Islam in the Penang religious department, a day I would sooner forget. Then I came to realize that this is not the Islam that I have come to embrace, this is the Islam of the peddlers of ignorance whose intention is far from healing my splintered soul but cohesion and accusation through their own petty understanding always claiming their ways to be the right way and when in doubt throwing the holy verses or the hadiths of the Prophet at me to prove me in error.
I must admit that my knowledge of Islam or Buddhism for that matter is not perfect and far be it for me to claim myself an authority on both, but I am a seeker of 'The truth' and I have gambled my soul in the process. My knowledge and understanding of islam comes mostly from having read the translations and interpretations of great Muslim writers such as Imam Al Ghazali and Muhyidin Abn. Arabi, Muyiddin Shaikh Kadir Al Jilani and Al Rumi and the Ayatollah Hoemini whose works I find very insightful. One of my mentor and religious teacher was my martial arts instructor,(Silat Seni Gayong, Malaysia) who was at the time i knew him was the Head of the Terengganu religous Department, Encik Abu Johan was a well rounded educated and an intellectual who had the respect of both the religious and the secular. Another teacher I had the privillage of learning from was my late mentor and friend Cikgu Yusof Ali who inroduced to me the ways of the Sufis.But these are my own personal understanding from what I have understood having read these teachers and I am not claiming that i have thoroughly understood to the point of being an authority or Islam. What I learned most about the religion is the feeling or the presence of my Lord in my hours of utter need or when in the nadir of my life when I felt lost to the point of despair. Then when I invoke my Lord's name I feel His Grace over me like a soothing shower, a healing, a forgiveness and acceptance, it is in these moments of challenges i face as a man that i find Allah: I am the prodigal son who has wandered far and returned to Islam through the back door of the religion.
I must declare that Buddhism has led me to Islam through the process of gnosis;
"Gnosticism (from gnostikos, "learned", from Greek: γνῶσις gnōsis, knowledge; Arabic: الغنوصية) is the dualistic belief that the material world should be shunned and the spiritual world should be embraced. Gnostic ideas influenced many ancient religions[1] which teach that gnosis (variously interpreted as enlightenment, salvation, emancipation or 'oneness with God') may be reached by practising philanthropy to the point of personal poverty, sexual abstinence (as far as possible for hearers, total for initiates) and diligently searching for wisdom by helping others.[2]"
Wikipedia
"Journey to the Lord of Power is the first English translation of lbn Arabi's twelfth-century text dealing with spiritual ascent Arabi, whose metaphysical teachings have had a profound influence on both the Muslim and Christian worlds, is known as one of the greatest writers of mystical love poetry of all time.
Written in answer to the questions of a friend, this illuminating guide describes the evolutionary path of our higher spiritual aspirations - the quest for the ultimate reality, the journey toward Cod. It is chiefly concerned with spiritual retreat, an advanced and potentially dangerous Sufi practice that aims at the attainment of the Presence of Cod through absolute abandonment of the world. Realizing the imagination's deceptive power, 'Arabi warns that this form of retreat should not be undertaken except at the order of a sheikh or by one who has mastered the self. Each stage of the journey is accompanied by a temptation which can be overcome only by an unshakable desire for Cod.
Arabi explains each step of the ascent leading toward human perfection. In this perilous voyage of self-discovery, the reader will encounter the Realms of the mineral, vegetable, and animal worlds, eventually reaching the Gardens and the Throne of Mercy. The traveler of the Sufi mystic path is called upon to cleanse his or her heart in order to safely reach the final destination - the Lord of Power."
translated by Rabia Terri Harris
My personal journey happened out of necessity from having to discover for my own sanity why I am as I am when it comes to faith and religions. I set upon the path of self discovery when I first went to college and stumbled upon books on Buddhism written by contemporary Budhist scholars such as Aldous Huxley, Alan Watts, Shunryu Suzuki, Daistz Suzuki, Thich Naht Hahn and numerous others. I took to reading them like duck take to water; I discovered the essence of Buddhism and what it was that the Buddha had intended for mankind to understand of himself. Mankind suffer from three illnesses the Buddha was said to have declared.; Greed, Hate and Ignorance. From this declaration alone one can see the errors of man that had caused Adam and Hawa to be casted out from the garden, to fall from grace. The Buddha's mission was to heal man from these three inflictions, to awaken man from their effect. Islam does this through absolute faith and total submission to the Will of Allah. The Buddha ask that we solve our problem here and now, that we liberate from the bondage or ignorance that we are not well from the beginning.
The question is how do we heal a sick mind and become whole in order that we may approach our Lord as a clean slate each time we face Him in worship? (five times a day). How many good devoted Muslims have erred simply because our Lord is Oft Forgiving and Merciful by indulging in all the transgressions believing that at the end of the day God will forgive especially if we go to perform the Haj? It is this error in perception and right understanding of the truth that many of us have strayed claiming our ways are the right ways so long as we perform the required rituals in our worship of God. God in His infinite Compassion has allocated us the time and space to exist on this planet as His servant... to serve Him and in serving Him we are served, but man has the idea of self serving as I and not God is Number One. Most Muslims today especially in my country are manifesting hypocrisy and using the religion as a crutch to survive and to hide behind. A true Muslim is a rare specie in this day and age but they are out there no doubt and that is why the good Lord has not decided to fold up His experiment and call it quit. The battle between good and evil, of light and darkness still raging ever more so as we head into the uncertain future and Iblis still is on the look out for his pound of flesh in the form of deranged or lost souls.
It is safe to say that the most atrocity committed by man upon his fellow man is happening among the Muslims all over the world, we are at war with ourselves and in the process has dragged the religion through the mud of civilization. If the Prophet of Allah were to be in our midst today He would cry bitter tears over what has become of our Ummah and yet we have the audacity to claim that our religion is better than others. I will have to resist from further pointing out the weaknesses in Islam as practice today by the majority of Muslims around the world for fear that i might be construed as an Islam basher. But suffice it is to say that Islam in this day and age can look at Buddhism and its ways of dealing with the human mind and consciousness in order that we may correct our own ways and better understand the teachings of the Prophet of Allah and the Holy Book. Islam is perfect, but Muslims has allot to understand about themselve in relation to their faith and belief.
Islam may claim not to have monks and priests but there Muftis and Ulama's in Islam, and there are uniformed religious departments handling Islam which to me are no better than monks and priests; in essence monks and priests practice their religions to liberate their own minds from ignorance through the practice of austerity and so forth but none were required to become lifelong practitioners as nowhere in Buddhism is this mandated by the Buddha. Monks can return to their laity life after their ppractice period. The act celibacy is also not something imposed upon any in Buddhism but encouraged during certain times of their practice period as sexual indulgences are a hinder to the acquiring of knowledge especially in the spiritual nature. Most Sufi adepts practice celibacy while going through their rigorous training and this is common practice in Islam. The Buddha was no ordinary man even if the author refutes this and having attained to the state of Buddhahood He had transcended the human form and its base needs and his wife and son were among the first to follow his path. Mahatma Ghandi went through similar practice in his life and he shook civilization from its foundation with his abstinence.
Lastly in this entry I would like to declare that to me Buddhism is not a religion, it is a Way of life; a way of dealing with the day to day art of living. Buddhism is a healing process for the ills of man and his environment; it was founded as an agnostic approach towards the errors of the religion of Hinduism.
"In the popular sense, an agnostic is someone who neither believes nor disbelieves in the existence of a deity or deities, whereas a theist and an atheist believe and disbelieve, respectively.[2] In the strict sense, however, agnosticism is the view that humanity does not currently possess the requisite knowledge and/or reason to provide sufficient rational grounds to justify the belief that deities either do or do not exist."
Wikipedia
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Islam and Buddhism in the Modern World - Imran Nazar Hosein
The Buddha's teachings of detachment from the material world or as he expounded from the Mayavic (Illusional) existence is not the denial of life as we know it. Many contemporary Muslims and other religious writers seems to hone in on this issue as a form of escapism that Buddhism has laid down for its followers. Taken at face value it may seems so, however if the issue is studied in depth and with right understanding it is a fallacy an error of not looking at the teaching with an open mind but a mind bent on criticism and the effort to compare against as I found written in a book by Imran Nazar Hosein entitled ; Islam and Buddhism in the Modern World.
Having made it my effort to understand the Buddha's thoughts and teachings I feel that what the Buddha meant is like His quote, "In living life, it is like plucking a lotus without wetting your fingers." In order to do so one has to be more conscious and aware of one's activities in every thing that we do to not be attached to what we are doing. There is no doer or giver or one who receives, only action. When we do things without attachment we are free from claiming the result or denying it if the result is not to our satisfaction in other words the ego is not involved. Another teaching of the Buddha somewhat similar is the practice of what is called 'bare attention' where one acknowledges an event but does not contribute to it with our personal input or judgement, of right or wrong, we do not add to it our psychological or emotional energy, thus freeing our mind from making choices that we later have to answer for.
The author Imran Nazar also also lambasted Buddhism for its 'lack of commitment' to the nature of God and the afterlife, This again is not what it seems,as the Buddha was said to have taken the Noble Silence while not answering such questions. The silence to me was not to indulge into a discussion over matters that are beyond what was necessary at the time of the Buddha which was some 2600 years ago during the time when Gods were in abundance in the form of Hinduism.The Buddha saw life as suffering for the multitude of Hindus whose life was at the mercy of their religious institution. To argue about the existence of Gods and so forth would have been like to fight fire with fire.I see the Buddha as drawing the focus of the multitude away from the prevailing God dominated religion to that of the problem of humanity. 'The Gods can take care of themselves, it is man who is facing the suffering of being alive in this world.
The author also pointed out the fact that the Buddha's teaching led to annihilation or void which in Islam is called 'Fana', that is to cease to exist and emergence with God as One. The Buddha led a very systematic path towards the achievement of this state of final deliverance from being attached to this worldly life, a system based on overcoming one's ignorance in the nature of existence itself. During His time, one must assume that the common people were totally lacking in education or understanding and what was needed to lead them away from the horrors of Hindu practices was a simple truth, that life is suffering and how to step out of its clutches, out of the circle of life death and rebirth.If the Prophet of Allah had been there before the Buddha i am sure the Buddha would have no need to appear into the realm of man to help ease the burden that they were heaped with.
It took great wisdom to make no commitment in declaring whether there is or there is no God and this we have to give credit to the Buddha and not use it as an attack towards His teachings. I am one of those as a Muslim who would have no problem to accept the Buddha s one of the Prophets of Allah sent down in the times of darkness and ignorance as India was in those days.Not much for quoting the Quran, however i did hear it said that in the Holy Book it is written somewhere that Allah had declared that he had many messengers and prophets before our last Prophet, those that he has not named. Any great religion that professes Good and teach the nobility of human nature has to be fully respected and not use as a comparison much less a object of ridicule. I highly doubt that the Buddha had it in His mind to influence others to become Buddhist for the sake of 'winning' a cause. it seems to me Muslims like the writer of this book are more into trying to justify Islam's. As a Muslim I do not agree that Islam is a religion that needs to compare and compete at the expense of other religions; compare but with fairness may be acceptable. This is one of the causes of why Islam today is at loggerhead with other religions. Instead of comparing why not seek that which is similar in essence.
The Lord created this universe and All in it Islam professes, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity and the rest of it is His creation. In times of dire need what is so difficult to accept the fact that the Lord sent down the Buddha or Christ and their teachings? Perhaps these awakened minds were part and parcel of what would eventually lead to the final religion of His in Islam. They were to pave the way for those who were living in ignorance such that when Islam does arrive at their doorsteps they would not find it too hard to swallow..
"The Islamic Philosophy of life revolves around the principle of unity (tawhid)....Islam's knowledge is absolutely unique and revolutionary. All knowledge forms one whole. All branches of knowledge are inter-related and interdependent..The perfectly educated scholar is he he who is educated in as many different branches of knowledge as possible, who achieves concordance of al this knowledge on the basis of the fundamental truths led down by the Qur'an."
Islam and Buddhism in the Modern World....Imran Nazar Hosein
One need not point out the the Qur'an did not exist in the time of the Buddha as a point of reference but..it is obvious that we need to look at it from a greater perspective than merely quoting western writers to justify one's personal truth. The teachings of the Buddha have evolved and today it is still as relevant especially in the west even if it is not exactly what the Buddha taught. Each religion when removed from its origin in time and place is bound to adapt to changes. Buddhism in China, Japan and America is much alive and thanks to it presence many find solace and comfort to ease their minds from not having any belief to follow. As for Islam right or wrong better or worse is a matter of personal faith and understanding, the greater in number does not signify this.There may be billions of Muslims on this planet but that does not mean all are true Muslims. I hope that the writer and those like him would look to promote the unity through looking at beauty of the teachings of other religions rather than the weaknesses; we have the devil for this.
..
.
Having made it my effort to understand the Buddha's thoughts and teachings I feel that what the Buddha meant is like His quote, "In living life, it is like plucking a lotus without wetting your fingers." In order to do so one has to be more conscious and aware of one's activities in every thing that we do to not be attached to what we are doing. There is no doer or giver or one who receives, only action. When we do things without attachment we are free from claiming the result or denying it if the result is not to our satisfaction in other words the ego is not involved. Another teaching of the Buddha somewhat similar is the practice of what is called 'bare attention' where one acknowledges an event but does not contribute to it with our personal input or judgement, of right or wrong, we do not add to it our psychological or emotional energy, thus freeing our mind from making choices that we later have to answer for.
The author Imran Nazar also also lambasted Buddhism for its 'lack of commitment' to the nature of God and the afterlife, This again is not what it seems,as the Buddha was said to have taken the Noble Silence while not answering such questions. The silence to me was not to indulge into a discussion over matters that are beyond what was necessary at the time of the Buddha which was some 2600 years ago during the time when Gods were in abundance in the form of Hinduism.The Buddha saw life as suffering for the multitude of Hindus whose life was at the mercy of their religious institution. To argue about the existence of Gods and so forth would have been like to fight fire with fire.I see the Buddha as drawing the focus of the multitude away from the prevailing God dominated religion to that of the problem of humanity. 'The Gods can take care of themselves, it is man who is facing the suffering of being alive in this world.
The author also pointed out the fact that the Buddha's teaching led to annihilation or void which in Islam is called 'Fana', that is to cease to exist and emergence with God as One. The Buddha led a very systematic path towards the achievement of this state of final deliverance from being attached to this worldly life, a system based on overcoming one's ignorance in the nature of existence itself. During His time, one must assume that the common people were totally lacking in education or understanding and what was needed to lead them away from the horrors of Hindu practices was a simple truth, that life is suffering and how to step out of its clutches, out of the circle of life death and rebirth.If the Prophet of Allah had been there before the Buddha i am sure the Buddha would have no need to appear into the realm of man to help ease the burden that they were heaped with.
It took great wisdom to make no commitment in declaring whether there is or there is no God and this we have to give credit to the Buddha and not use it as an attack towards His teachings. I am one of those as a Muslim who would have no problem to accept the Buddha s one of the Prophets of Allah sent down in the times of darkness and ignorance as India was in those days.Not much for quoting the Quran, however i did hear it said that in the Holy Book it is written somewhere that Allah had declared that he had many messengers and prophets before our last Prophet, those that he has not named. Any great religion that professes Good and teach the nobility of human nature has to be fully respected and not use as a comparison much less a object of ridicule. I highly doubt that the Buddha had it in His mind to influence others to become Buddhist for the sake of 'winning' a cause. it seems to me Muslims like the writer of this book are more into trying to justify Islam's. As a Muslim I do not agree that Islam is a religion that needs to compare and compete at the expense of other religions; compare but with fairness may be acceptable. This is one of the causes of why Islam today is at loggerhead with other religions. Instead of comparing why not seek that which is similar in essence.
The Lord created this universe and All in it Islam professes, Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity and the rest of it is His creation. In times of dire need what is so difficult to accept the fact that the Lord sent down the Buddha or Christ and their teachings? Perhaps these awakened minds were part and parcel of what would eventually lead to the final religion of His in Islam. They were to pave the way for those who were living in ignorance such that when Islam does arrive at their doorsteps they would not find it too hard to swallow..
"The Islamic Philosophy of life revolves around the principle of unity (tawhid)....Islam's knowledge is absolutely unique and revolutionary. All knowledge forms one whole. All branches of knowledge are inter-related and interdependent..The perfectly educated scholar is he he who is educated in as many different branches of knowledge as possible, who achieves concordance of al this knowledge on the basis of the fundamental truths led down by the Qur'an."
Islam and Buddhism in the Modern World....Imran Nazar Hosein
One need not point out the the Qur'an did not exist in the time of the Buddha as a point of reference but..it is obvious that we need to look at it from a greater perspective than merely quoting western writers to justify one's personal truth. The teachings of the Buddha have evolved and today it is still as relevant especially in the west even if it is not exactly what the Buddha taught. Each religion when removed from its origin in time and place is bound to adapt to changes. Buddhism in China, Japan and America is much alive and thanks to it presence many find solace and comfort to ease their minds from not having any belief to follow. As for Islam right or wrong better or worse is a matter of personal faith and understanding, the greater in number does not signify this.There may be billions of Muslims on this planet but that does not mean all are true Muslims. I hope that the writer and those like him would look to promote the unity through looking at beauty of the teachings of other religions rather than the weaknesses; we have the devil for this.
..
.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
What one would do for Money!
The time was between 1 and 2 pm and the place was at a Chinese school, that was where i was suppose to pick up my voucher for BRiM500 which the Malaysian Government had allocated for its citizen who qualifies. So for one not believe in being late i arrived at 12;30 and already thee was a crowd spilling all the way out on to the main road in front of the school. I found out that lines were arranged in alphabetical order of one's first name and so mine being 'S', i proceeded to join the cue behind two elderly ladies a Malay and an Indian. It was hot and the ladies shared an umbrella which I later offered to hold for them.
My initial reaction was to turn around and leave but the little voice in me chastised my lack of patience, " If all these people mostly elderly men and women can stand the line what is wrong with you doing it?" Ah yes, another challenge to the ego! Right! lets ride this out and see what gives; hot blazing sun! the stench of humanity and the chaos caused by haphazard mismanagement, so be it. You need the five hundred Ringgit more than you know. Three and half hours later after being aggressively accosted for mistakenly breaking in the line. i came to the end of the line, gave the lady my slip of paper and was scolded for being in the wrong line!I walked out of the school building not saying a word but just thank you - Alhamdullilah! I said to myself, You are the Tester and I am at Your mercy...just don't let me loose my cool!
Should I have trusted my instinct that said 'it is not worth it,' there are other ways you can still claim your money and this is not it, not the time. I did not, I chose to observe my ego and its reactions and i paid for not listening to that little voice within. What did i learn from this? Not much other than the fact that it would have been better to be independently wealthy like the rest of my brothers and sisters and not qualify for the government's handout or it would be wiser to sit things out when the odds are too heavy against you. Whatever! The only consolation I had was the wisdom of having with me a book to read while waiting, a book by Imam Al Ghazali and his theory of The Soul. A heavy reading for a heavy situation, but it got me to focus away from the immediate chaos.
In his book 'A New Earth', Eckhart Tolle wrote of three 'Modalities of Awakening Doing' which are; acceptance, enjoyment and enthusiasm.
" You need to be vigilant to make sure that one of them operates whenever you are engaged in doing anything at all--from the most simple task to the most complex. If you are not in the state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm, look closely and you will find that you are creating suffering for yourself and others. Whenever you cannot enjoy doing, you can at least accept that this is what you have to do. Acceptance means; For now this is what this situation, this moment requires me to do and so do it willingly....I you can neither enjoy or bring acceptance to what you do - stop."
Perhaps my little voice said stop but i overruled it in order to not succumb to my ego which normally would walk away when things don't look right. In the process i also failed to enjoy 'Being there' and i retreated into my book of Imam Al Ghazali and worse into my internal moaning and groaning, which happens quite naturally despite my trying to be there. I was there, but I was not there, i was making believe that I enjoyed being there; justifying my need to be there: RM500 worth of enthusiasm! In short I did not want to be there but for the money I endured.
"Enthusiasm and ego cannot coexist. One implies the absence of the other. Enthusiasm knows where it is going, but at the same time, it is deeply at tone with the present moment, the source of its aliveness, its joy and its power. Enthusiasm 'wants' nothing because it lacks nothing... Through enthusiasm you enter into full alignment with the outgoing creative principle of the universe, but without identifying with its creations that is to say, without ego. Where there is not identification, there is no attachment - one of the great source of suffering."
Eckhart Tolle.
A New Earth.
Have i learned anything about myself? My RM500 is still out there somewhere!
My initial reaction was to turn around and leave but the little voice in me chastised my lack of patience, " If all these people mostly elderly men and women can stand the line what is wrong with you doing it?" Ah yes, another challenge to the ego! Right! lets ride this out and see what gives; hot blazing sun! the stench of humanity and the chaos caused by haphazard mismanagement, so be it. You need the five hundred Ringgit more than you know. Three and half hours later after being aggressively accosted for mistakenly breaking in the line. i came to the end of the line, gave the lady my slip of paper and was scolded for being in the wrong line!I walked out of the school building not saying a word but just thank you - Alhamdullilah! I said to myself, You are the Tester and I am at Your mercy...just don't let me loose my cool!
Should I have trusted my instinct that said 'it is not worth it,' there are other ways you can still claim your money and this is not it, not the time. I did not, I chose to observe my ego and its reactions and i paid for not listening to that little voice within. What did i learn from this? Not much other than the fact that it would have been better to be independently wealthy like the rest of my brothers and sisters and not qualify for the government's handout or it would be wiser to sit things out when the odds are too heavy against you. Whatever! The only consolation I had was the wisdom of having with me a book to read while waiting, a book by Imam Al Ghazali and his theory of The Soul. A heavy reading for a heavy situation, but it got me to focus away from the immediate chaos.
In his book 'A New Earth', Eckhart Tolle wrote of three 'Modalities of Awakening Doing' which are; acceptance, enjoyment and enthusiasm.
" You need to be vigilant to make sure that one of them operates whenever you are engaged in doing anything at all--from the most simple task to the most complex. If you are not in the state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm, look closely and you will find that you are creating suffering for yourself and others. Whenever you cannot enjoy doing, you can at least accept that this is what you have to do. Acceptance means; For now this is what this situation, this moment requires me to do and so do it willingly....I you can neither enjoy or bring acceptance to what you do - stop."
Perhaps my little voice said stop but i overruled it in order to not succumb to my ego which normally would walk away when things don't look right. In the process i also failed to enjoy 'Being there' and i retreated into my book of Imam Al Ghazali and worse into my internal moaning and groaning, which happens quite naturally despite my trying to be there. I was there, but I was not there, i was making believe that I enjoyed being there; justifying my need to be there: RM500 worth of enthusiasm! In short I did not want to be there but for the money I endured.
"Enthusiasm and ego cannot coexist. One implies the absence of the other. Enthusiasm knows where it is going, but at the same time, it is deeply at tone with the present moment, the source of its aliveness, its joy and its power. Enthusiasm 'wants' nothing because it lacks nothing... Through enthusiasm you enter into full alignment with the outgoing creative principle of the universe, but without identifying with its creations that is to say, without ego. Where there is not identification, there is no attachment - one of the great source of suffering."
Eckhart Tolle.
A New Earth.
Have i learned anything about myself? My RM500 is still out there somewhere!
Friday, March 08, 2013
The Initial Proposal for my MFA.
Title: Univeristy without Walls – A Concept
By; Shamsul Bahari
Introduction:
The concept of University without Walls was first pioneered at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin, USA. I was invited to join in the program while doing my Bachelor degree at the University of Wisconsin in Green Bay sometime in 1978.
The program was to allow for outstanding students in various fields of academic studies to do independent or directed studies and research away from the regular classroom environment.
WHAT IS AN INDEPENDENT STUDY?
Independent studies are meant to give students the opportunity to tailor course work to their specific interests, talents, goals, etc., in ways that normal courses do not. They also allow students to work more intensely on a subject or in a particular field than a regular course does. This includes summer work. Thus, an independent study can allow a student who was introduced to a writer as part of a survey course in, say, spring semester to dig more deeply into that writer’s work through a summer independent study. For students with demanding jobs and work schedules, including TA’s, summer independent studies can help keep the student on track in progressing through the program.
Resource; George Mason University
Dept. of English
Independent Studies in Writing.
Method:
Students were chosen based on their good academic performances in their core subjects like basic studio classes and understanding of Art history and so forth. They would also have to achieve a cumulative grade point average of 3.5 (negotiable?) after attending three semesters of introductory classes.
A letter of proposal was required to be written by the student explaining the intention of their chosen course of study and this will be deliberated by three or four faculty members to ensure the feasibility and accountability of the course.
After the deliberation the student will be interviewed by the faculty members to verify that the student has a good understanding and is capable of meeting all the requirements set forth for the course. This included the time management and fiscal cost of the action to be taken.
Upon completion of the process and thorough understanding of what entails was agreed upon the student will then make arrangements with the various class instructors for the subjects to be taken and how the credits would be awarded.
WHAT ROLE DO FACULTY MEMBERS PLAY IN AN INDEPENDENT STUDY?
Each independent study needs one faculty member willing to serve as faculty of record. Early in the process of thinking about an independent study, a student should consult faculty members with expertise or interests in the area proposed to be covered and should let discussions with the faculty member help shape his or her ideas for the study. The student and faculty member should discuss ideas about what reading and written work is to be carried out, the criteria by which the work is to be evaluated, and the schedule for meetings. Dates for submission of work also should be determined. Fewer contact hours may be more appropriate for some independent study topics or work than they are for others.
Faculty members are not separately compensated for mentoring students in independent studies. While most faculty are quite willing to do independent studies with students, if the workload for them becomes the equivalent of another class, it can pose problems. Faculty who are most interested in the field of study or writing that the student is considering, or those with whom the student has worked in the classroom are more likely to agree to mentor an independent study.
George mason University
English Dept. Writing
Independent Studies.
The student will leave the Campus and carry out his studies as planned albeit leaving the country or doing his studies in another state for the duration of the semester.
At an appointed date the student will return with a completed project and make a presentation to the related Instructors for evaluation process.
IS THIS INDEPENDENT STUDY WORTH ONE, TWO, OR THREE CREDIT HOURS?
Independent studies may be created for one to three credits of English 798. For the maximum of three credits, the volume of reading and written work to be undertaken should mirror the levels required in a normal three-hour course. While this is a variable standard, a typical graduate-level literature course will encompass ten or more books and require at least one major paper and exam or two major papers or a detailed in-class presentation and major paper or exam. Comparable standards for writing courses are even more varied, but in a writing-based independent study, a student normally would be expected to complete at least one major project of roughly the size of a small book or the equivalent, depending on the field (a chapbook of poems, for example, or a collection of four to six essays, or four to six short stories or a small novel or novella).
Work should be scaled from the three-credit standard to create two- or one-credit independent studies.
Process:
At the beginning of the semester students will be made aware of the offer for such a program in the form of bulletins and announcements which will explain the concept and its challenges.
Students who find it hard to endure or finds it boring in doing semesters of studio activities and have achieved the required the status prerequisite to do so may be advised to partake in the program.
Students who have the inkling to travel and explore the world around them and can afford to do so are also encourage to join in the program.
Students exhibiting independent personality and active mind are also invited to look into the program.
Procedure:
Having completed all the necessary procedures and requirements the student will leave the campus and embark upon his or her independent study activities.
Equipped with the number of classes in various chosen subjects and agreed upon number of credits to be awarded the student is on his own; however a close monitoring of his progress is kept through various means such as the Internet and so forth. This can be arranged between the instructor and the student.
As an art student I would advise that the student should keep an ongoing sketchbook/journal of his progress and this would be like his diary of daily thoughts and activities as he is being exposed to the outside world.
Upon return the student will hand in all his works to his respective instructors to be graded. He could even be made to make presentations to his class such as slide shows and mini – art exhibitions.
Results:
Students will return from their trips with a wider sense of understanding of who they are in relation to the outside world.
They will also develop a greater sense of understanding their vocations and their studies as they will inadvertently be exposed to encouragements and criticisms from strangers on the street.
Students will also develop a sense of responsibility in upholding their part of the expected performance and excel in being free thinkers.
The dependency on the instructors and professors would be less as they become more self sufficient and responsible for their own thoughts and ideas.
New and fresh ideas may even be discovered as the student is exposed to those who are established in the Fine Arts while on their journey. They might meet established artist or full time artists and learn from these individuals.
Discussion:
The prime motive of this program is to broaden the horizon of potential students and awaken their perceptive awareness towards their related courses.
New ideas and possibilities will emerge from their interpersonal exposures with fellow artists from varied backgrounds as they approach those who have established themselves in the field; like fellow art students and teachers, full time artists and even local college and university lecturers.
By visiting local galleries and museums or even libraries the student will again be exposed to the arts and cultures of any given area they had chosen to visit.
Having spent over five years of my time here at MGTF –USM as an ‘unofficial artist in residence’ and from my teaching experiences in Japan and Penang, Malaysia, I have heard and observed of students being bored with being ‘stuck’ in their normal day to day courses in the studios and lecture rooms. Most expressed the desire to be able to explore beyond the scope of the campus walls. In this day and age I feel this is a legitimate concern for any institution to look into and find ways to resolve to the benefit of both the system and the students. As my personal experience has been to travel while doing my school work I find it to be one viable solution to this dilemma.
The gist of my written proposal for my bachelor degree at the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay was to be allowed to do my independent studies away from the campus; in essence to travel away from the academic surroundings of the campus and live as an artist on the street anywhere in the world. I was a part of the pioneering students accepted to do this program which was a concept being studied by the University of Wisconsin in Madison.
After being accepted into the program my first trip out of the campus was to visit London, England. Later I traveled through three states, that of Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona, in the United States. My next journey took me to Colombia and Ecuador in South America and on my final journey I returned to Malaysia. One of the major outcome of these travels was the keeping of an on going journal which I have kept to this date. I further enforced the act of keeping an art journal by blogging in the Internet of which I have thus far made 900 odd entries with 56000 odd hits and 33 followers. I am relating these information so as to add to my contention that the program I am proposing has its merits through my own personal experiences.
Addenda;
The reaction of my intended advisor is that i cannot leave the campus while pursuing my MFA degree. I have to be here to do the studio works, so narrow it all down to what I can actually do here as a program.
Finding out the cost and registeration procedures is another hurdle as the graduate studies office at this unversity is run like a by people who is more in a hurry to get rid of you than to help you. So strike two against so far. Is it worth the aggravation?
One can only keep on trekking to get to where one intended, after all what else is there in life then facing all the petty tyrants that stand in your progress if the desired goal is worth it.
By; Shamsul Bahari
Introduction:
The concept of University without Walls was first pioneered at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin, USA. I was invited to join in the program while doing my Bachelor degree at the University of Wisconsin in Green Bay sometime in 1978.
The program was to allow for outstanding students in various fields of academic studies to do independent or directed studies and research away from the regular classroom environment.
WHAT IS AN INDEPENDENT STUDY?
Independent studies are meant to give students the opportunity to tailor course work to their specific interests, talents, goals, etc., in ways that normal courses do not. They also allow students to work more intensely on a subject or in a particular field than a regular course does. This includes summer work. Thus, an independent study can allow a student who was introduced to a writer as part of a survey course in, say, spring semester to dig more deeply into that writer’s work through a summer independent study. For students with demanding jobs and work schedules, including TA’s, summer independent studies can help keep the student on track in progressing through the program.
Resource; George Mason University
Dept. of English
Independent Studies in Writing.
Method:
Students were chosen based on their good academic performances in their core subjects like basic studio classes and understanding of Art history and so forth. They would also have to achieve a cumulative grade point average of 3.5 (negotiable?) after attending three semesters of introductory classes.
A letter of proposal was required to be written by the student explaining the intention of their chosen course of study and this will be deliberated by three or four faculty members to ensure the feasibility and accountability of the course.
After the deliberation the student will be interviewed by the faculty members to verify that the student has a good understanding and is capable of meeting all the requirements set forth for the course. This included the time management and fiscal cost of the action to be taken.
Upon completion of the process and thorough understanding of what entails was agreed upon the student will then make arrangements with the various class instructors for the subjects to be taken and how the credits would be awarded.
WHAT ROLE DO FACULTY MEMBERS PLAY IN AN INDEPENDENT STUDY?
Each independent study needs one faculty member willing to serve as faculty of record. Early in the process of thinking about an independent study, a student should consult faculty members with expertise or interests in the area proposed to be covered and should let discussions with the faculty member help shape his or her ideas for the study. The student and faculty member should discuss ideas about what reading and written work is to be carried out, the criteria by which the work is to be evaluated, and the schedule for meetings. Dates for submission of work also should be determined. Fewer contact hours may be more appropriate for some independent study topics or work than they are for others.
Faculty members are not separately compensated for mentoring students in independent studies. While most faculty are quite willing to do independent studies with students, if the workload for them becomes the equivalent of another class, it can pose problems. Faculty who are most interested in the field of study or writing that the student is considering, or those with whom the student has worked in the classroom are more likely to agree to mentor an independent study.
George mason University
English Dept. Writing
Independent Studies.
The student will leave the Campus and carry out his studies as planned albeit leaving the country or doing his studies in another state for the duration of the semester.
At an appointed date the student will return with a completed project and make a presentation to the related Instructors for evaluation process.
IS THIS INDEPENDENT STUDY WORTH ONE, TWO, OR THREE CREDIT HOURS?
Independent studies may be created for one to three credits of English 798. For the maximum of three credits, the volume of reading and written work to be undertaken should mirror the levels required in a normal three-hour course. While this is a variable standard, a typical graduate-level literature course will encompass ten or more books and require at least one major paper and exam or two major papers or a detailed in-class presentation and major paper or exam. Comparable standards for writing courses are even more varied, but in a writing-based independent study, a student normally would be expected to complete at least one major project of roughly the size of a small book or the equivalent, depending on the field (a chapbook of poems, for example, or a collection of four to six essays, or four to six short stories or a small novel or novella).
Work should be scaled from the three-credit standard to create two- or one-credit independent studies.
Process:
At the beginning of the semester students will be made aware of the offer for such a program in the form of bulletins and announcements which will explain the concept and its challenges.
Students who find it hard to endure or finds it boring in doing semesters of studio activities and have achieved the required the status prerequisite to do so may be advised to partake in the program.
Students who have the inkling to travel and explore the world around them and can afford to do so are also encourage to join in the program.
Students exhibiting independent personality and active mind are also invited to look into the program.
Procedure:
Having completed all the necessary procedures and requirements the student will leave the campus and embark upon his or her independent study activities.
Equipped with the number of classes in various chosen subjects and agreed upon number of credits to be awarded the student is on his own; however a close monitoring of his progress is kept through various means such as the Internet and so forth. This can be arranged between the instructor and the student.
As an art student I would advise that the student should keep an ongoing sketchbook/journal of his progress and this would be like his diary of daily thoughts and activities as he is being exposed to the outside world.
Upon return the student will hand in all his works to his respective instructors to be graded. He could even be made to make presentations to his class such as slide shows and mini – art exhibitions.
Results:
Students will return from their trips with a wider sense of understanding of who they are in relation to the outside world.
They will also develop a greater sense of understanding their vocations and their studies as they will inadvertently be exposed to encouragements and criticisms from strangers on the street.
Students will also develop a sense of responsibility in upholding their part of the expected performance and excel in being free thinkers.
The dependency on the instructors and professors would be less as they become more self sufficient and responsible for their own thoughts and ideas.
New and fresh ideas may even be discovered as the student is exposed to those who are established in the Fine Arts while on their journey. They might meet established artist or full time artists and learn from these individuals.
Discussion:
The prime motive of this program is to broaden the horizon of potential students and awaken their perceptive awareness towards their related courses.
New ideas and possibilities will emerge from their interpersonal exposures with fellow artists from varied backgrounds as they approach those who have established themselves in the field; like fellow art students and teachers, full time artists and even local college and university lecturers.
By visiting local galleries and museums or even libraries the student will again be exposed to the arts and cultures of any given area they had chosen to visit.
Having spent over five years of my time here at MGTF –USM as an ‘unofficial artist in residence’ and from my teaching experiences in Japan and Penang, Malaysia, I have heard and observed of students being bored with being ‘stuck’ in their normal day to day courses in the studios and lecture rooms. Most expressed the desire to be able to explore beyond the scope of the campus walls. In this day and age I feel this is a legitimate concern for any institution to look into and find ways to resolve to the benefit of both the system and the students. As my personal experience has been to travel while doing my school work I find it to be one viable solution to this dilemma.
The gist of my written proposal for my bachelor degree at the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay was to be allowed to do my independent studies away from the campus; in essence to travel away from the academic surroundings of the campus and live as an artist on the street anywhere in the world. I was a part of the pioneering students accepted to do this program which was a concept being studied by the University of Wisconsin in Madison.
After being accepted into the program my first trip out of the campus was to visit London, England. Later I traveled through three states, that of Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona, in the United States. My next journey took me to Colombia and Ecuador in South America and on my final journey I returned to Malaysia. One of the major outcome of these travels was the keeping of an on going journal which I have kept to this date. I further enforced the act of keeping an art journal by blogging in the Internet of which I have thus far made 900 odd entries with 56000 odd hits and 33 followers. I am relating these information so as to add to my contention that the program I am proposing has its merits through my own personal experiences.
Addenda;
The reaction of my intended advisor is that i cannot leave the campus while pursuing my MFA degree. I have to be here to do the studio works, so narrow it all down to what I can actually do here as a program.
Finding out the cost and registeration procedures is another hurdle as the graduate studies office at this unversity is run like a by people who is more in a hurry to get rid of you than to help you. So strike two against so far. Is it worth the aggravation?
One can only keep on trekking to get to where one intended, after all what else is there in life then facing all the petty tyrants that stand in your progress if the desired goal is worth it.
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
In the Name of the Most Compassionate and Merciful
There is not God, only Allah.
Mohammad, (SAW) is His last Messenger.
This I profess to be true, my Dharma position on the matter of my Faith to my Lord.. I have surrendered my will to His Will at a very early age in my life; my childhood life was as painfully colorful with twist of fate happening every 12 years or so it seems. If my brother's religion is Christianity, then I am a Christian to him and if he be a Buddhist, then a Buddhist I am to him, a Hindu, a Sikh...a Bahai, if but for the Will of my Creator none of these would have happened.
Eckhart Tolle. author of the New Times Bestselling Author of, The Power of Now, is another one of my mentor like J.Krishnamurti and Alan Watts; I have never met the man but would be honored to.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit," Jesus said, "for theirs will be the kingdom of heaven" What does "poor in spirit mean? No inner baggage, no identification. Not with things, nor with any mental concepts that have a sense of self in them. And what is the "kingdom of Heaven?" The simple but profound joy of Being that is there when you let go of identifications and so become "poor in spirit."
Eckhart Tolle, "A New Earth"
Why Islam?
I was born a Muslim from my mother's side, My grandfather Paul Mariano was a Singhalese and married my grandmother who was from Medan, Sumatra; he became a Muslim. So I am a Muslim by birth.
Why Islam?
I can safely claim to myself that I have entered Islam through the back door, the front door had closed at a very early age in my life; I declared war on my Lord! I allowed my ego to run free with creating discord within and without.; I was worse than an atheist for many years of my adult life for I challenged my Lord...I point my middle finger at Him in anger and despair many a painful nights only He knows.
"The Buddha's Way is unsurpassable, I vow to attain it"
The Boddhisatva's vow
I found the method through Buddha's teachings to clear my veiled mind and find my Lord. I healed my wounded soul through learning to love myself and compassion for others. I also learnt that I am merely an instrument, a flute in the hands of Lord Krishna, a Hammer in the hands of Thor, the God of thunder! I am Hanuman,and I serve my Lord, Ram! I am in servitude to my Lord even as I wirte; there is no more me, but Him. To me His sacred name is ALLAH; I pray I die like Mahatma Ghandi, calling out RAM! RAM! and I call out Ya-ALLAH as my final breath on this planet..
Well,,. Islam? The Truth being the closer I have come to understand who I am the more I come to know that I am not - a - thing special, nothing special. I ramble on and on like a 'reluctant Messiah' or Messy - ya... wannabe! Why not? It is part and parcel of my healing process. A process of coming to grips with who I am and what makes me. Slef introspection is one means to keep a close tabe on how you check you status in life, you sense of consciousness, being in the here and now. To better understand why Islam I have to approach it most of my life as why not, Islam: the mind is not capable of reaching a perfect answer.
I am not great at quoting the Prophet from His hadith or written comments, but somewhere i heard that He had said, " to seek knowledge even if It takes you to China"; but to know Allah one has to die in spirit. Fana', void, emptiness, empty of any Being. I and my Lord is One. However for so long as I am breathing in and out, I can only keep reminding myself of who I am in relation to my Lord. The scriptures have given analogies and allegorical as to how and why, it is but for the faithful to read, IQRA! With Right Understanding and practice the healing remedies of our forefathers as we are marched into the uncertain futures.
Most today are more quick to pass judgement or choose to not make any effort in understanding religions accepting even as archaic and a thing of history. Religions are the secure walls that keeps the insane within for without these walls humanities tendencies to destroy one another like we do now would be rampant. Life would be cheap and no more sacred and humanity itself would live in utter darkness as the light of religions has eventually been allowed to extinguished. Man will succumb his darkest nature as his ego rules accordingly; sadly enough it is already manifesting itself all over the world.
Eckhart Tolle calls it our 'Pain body', that which is inherent in us, the need the desire the wanting, the craving for inflicting pain in and upon ourselves through our ignorance of our true nature in the community at large and much less the propagation or dissemination of such knowledge. It is a consciousness that must be awaken globally in unison' We are the World. You are the world, anyhting and everything that happens in the affects you and your future generations , good or bad. The sooner we come to this universal realization the better as time is catching up before we loose our God given chance. NOW!
Wake Up! Stay Awake!
I am reminding this to myself more than sharing any fancy thoughts with others so bear with me as i ramble on. Malaysia is at war! The country is being invaded! Many lives lost, both sides! Tragic! More problems! This country was last threatened to be invaded was during the early sixties when Indonesia decided to raise the odds against Malaysia; it was called Confrontation or Komfrontasi! Being a part of the Commonwealth the country was immediately provided security by the Australian and New Zealand Military defence. However I do not think the Sulu - Sabah incident will warrant such moves as Malaysian Arms Forces is fully capable.
As my country is drifting into political chaos and on the brink of a critical election; why Now? I cannot remain silent but let my thoughts and feelings be out;I need to correct myself if I am wrong as I write or put my thoughts on paper. Is it because of our vulnerable situation that you attack the sovereignty of my country. This is the age of Information Technology, not the time of Emiliano Zapata or Panco Villa! This the time of shrewed lawyers, the best money can buy and the use of the media. Any Sultan, Sulu or otherwise should know this. The right thing to do perhaps was to sue for Sabah and not shoot Sabah.
What is most sad about the whole incident is that this is yet another incident od Muslims pointing guns at each other. However the Muslim blood has been spilled by his fellow Muslim brother and it lies floating in the drain...Allahu Akhbar! The Lord is Great!
I urge my fellow countrymen we who call ourselves Malaysians to again step back and take this event as focus on how or where we stand in our patriotism and love of this nation. Look to blame within yourself from what you are willing to take the time tot see through and fully comprehend what our nation as a whole needs for us to do no matter who we are, rich or poor , high or low. We need to wake up! Awaken! from our sleeping state of self induced pain or ignorance. The world is out there, shit is happening elsewhere, I am safe for so long as I stay close to myself, that is who I am. This is the voice of the ego, the thought that arises from an angry, negative 'splintered spirit', a part of the subconscious mind. Yes there are a few running around up there in the head, going back and forth arguing and commenting making excuses and getting nasty. We all carry them in our own heads these voices especially when we are asleep even while awake. Our world is but a dream, and we keep on dreaming even into our wakeful state until 'shit hits the fence'!
We dream our way towards a nightmare all the time if we notice our dreams, they always starts off fun and beautiful but towards the end it all falls to pieces and again 'shit happens'! These are the moments of truth, the moment when reality reveals itself as a whole and for those who sees this or catch a glimpse of it will awaken to the truth of that moment, Satori, Moksha, Samadhi, Tafakur, the abode of silence, We are rudely awaken to this state everyday of our lives but we are too far asleep to notice it; today we need a slap in the face or a kick in the ASs, to be awaken and the wakefulness rarely last but a moment another thought runs s new reel of its own drama and the consciousness is gone, the mind drift into another episode unrelated to the previous event. And this is endless chattering of the mind that we humans have with us to a greater or lesser extent.
So when it comes to religious belief and Faith I must admit that I am yet to find my truth of the matter, I am a spiritual person and my spirit is already with my Lord, I am already submitted to Him and my will is His Will. I must also admit that although I have challenged God when in angry burst of energy, I am afraid for my transgressions, I cannot claim to be free from fear just as yet. I am still not absolutely liberated from the ties of material life nor is my knowledge and understanding capable of delivering me to the other shore without encountering storms and turbulence. So I will abide in being where I am at, at the moment in time. I am here Now.
AND THIS TOO WILL PASS.....
Mohammad, (SAW) is His last Messenger.
This I profess to be true, my Dharma position on the matter of my Faith to my Lord.. I have surrendered my will to His Will at a very early age in my life; my childhood life was as painfully colorful with twist of fate happening every 12 years or so it seems. If my brother's religion is Christianity, then I am a Christian to him and if he be a Buddhist, then a Buddhist I am to him, a Hindu, a Sikh...a Bahai, if but for the Will of my Creator none of these would have happened.
Eckhart Tolle. author of the New Times Bestselling Author of, The Power of Now, is another one of my mentor like J.Krishnamurti and Alan Watts; I have never met the man but would be honored to.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit," Jesus said, "for theirs will be the kingdom of heaven" What does "poor in spirit mean? No inner baggage, no identification. Not with things, nor with any mental concepts that have a sense of self in them. And what is the "kingdom of Heaven?" The simple but profound joy of Being that is there when you let go of identifications and so become "poor in spirit."
Eckhart Tolle, "A New Earth"
Why Islam?
I was born a Muslim from my mother's side, My grandfather Paul Mariano was a Singhalese and married my grandmother who was from Medan, Sumatra; he became a Muslim. So I am a Muslim by birth.
Why Islam?
I can safely claim to myself that I have entered Islam through the back door, the front door had closed at a very early age in my life; I declared war on my Lord! I allowed my ego to run free with creating discord within and without.; I was worse than an atheist for many years of my adult life for I challenged my Lord...I point my middle finger at Him in anger and despair many a painful nights only He knows.
"The Buddha's Way is unsurpassable, I vow to attain it"
The Boddhisatva's vow
I found the method through Buddha's teachings to clear my veiled mind and find my Lord. I healed my wounded soul through learning to love myself and compassion for others. I also learnt that I am merely an instrument, a flute in the hands of Lord Krishna, a Hammer in the hands of Thor, the God of thunder! I am Hanuman,and I serve my Lord, Ram! I am in servitude to my Lord even as I wirte; there is no more me, but Him. To me His sacred name is ALLAH; I pray I die like Mahatma Ghandi, calling out RAM! RAM! and I call out Ya-ALLAH as my final breath on this planet..
Well,,. Islam? The Truth being the closer I have come to understand who I am the more I come to know that I am not - a - thing special, nothing special. I ramble on and on like a 'reluctant Messiah' or Messy - ya... wannabe! Why not? It is part and parcel of my healing process. A process of coming to grips with who I am and what makes me. Slef introspection is one means to keep a close tabe on how you check you status in life, you sense of consciousness, being in the here and now. To better understand why Islam I have to approach it most of my life as why not, Islam: the mind is not capable of reaching a perfect answer.
I am not great at quoting the Prophet from His hadith or written comments, but somewhere i heard that He had said, " to seek knowledge even if It takes you to China"; but to know Allah one has to die in spirit. Fana', void, emptiness, empty of any Being. I and my Lord is One. However for so long as I am breathing in and out, I can only keep reminding myself of who I am in relation to my Lord. The scriptures have given analogies and allegorical as to how and why, it is but for the faithful to read, IQRA! With Right Understanding and practice the healing remedies of our forefathers as we are marched into the uncertain futures.
Most today are more quick to pass judgement or choose to not make any effort in understanding religions accepting even as archaic and a thing of history. Religions are the secure walls that keeps the insane within for without these walls humanities tendencies to destroy one another like we do now would be rampant. Life would be cheap and no more sacred and humanity itself would live in utter darkness as the light of religions has eventually been allowed to extinguished. Man will succumb his darkest nature as his ego rules accordingly; sadly enough it is already manifesting itself all over the world.
Eckhart Tolle calls it our 'Pain body', that which is inherent in us, the need the desire the wanting, the craving for inflicting pain in and upon ourselves through our ignorance of our true nature in the community at large and much less the propagation or dissemination of such knowledge. It is a consciousness that must be awaken globally in unison' We are the World. You are the world, anyhting and everything that happens in the affects you and your future generations , good or bad. The sooner we come to this universal realization the better as time is catching up before we loose our God given chance. NOW!
Wake Up! Stay Awake!
I am reminding this to myself more than sharing any fancy thoughts with others so bear with me as i ramble on. Malaysia is at war! The country is being invaded! Many lives lost, both sides! Tragic! More problems! This country was last threatened to be invaded was during the early sixties when Indonesia decided to raise the odds against Malaysia; it was called Confrontation or Komfrontasi! Being a part of the Commonwealth the country was immediately provided security by the Australian and New Zealand Military defence. However I do not think the Sulu - Sabah incident will warrant such moves as Malaysian Arms Forces is fully capable.
As my country is drifting into political chaos and on the brink of a critical election; why Now? I cannot remain silent but let my thoughts and feelings be out;I need to correct myself if I am wrong as I write or put my thoughts on paper. Is it because of our vulnerable situation that you attack the sovereignty of my country. This is the age of Information Technology, not the time of Emiliano Zapata or Panco Villa! This the time of shrewed lawyers, the best money can buy and the use of the media. Any Sultan, Sulu or otherwise should know this. The right thing to do perhaps was to sue for Sabah and not shoot Sabah.
What is most sad about the whole incident is that this is yet another incident od Muslims pointing guns at each other. However the Muslim blood has been spilled by his fellow Muslim brother and it lies floating in the drain...Allahu Akhbar! The Lord is Great!
I urge my fellow countrymen we who call ourselves Malaysians to again step back and take this event as focus on how or where we stand in our patriotism and love of this nation. Look to blame within yourself from what you are willing to take the time tot see through and fully comprehend what our nation as a whole needs for us to do no matter who we are, rich or poor , high or low. We need to wake up! Awaken! from our sleeping state of self induced pain or ignorance. The world is out there, shit is happening elsewhere, I am safe for so long as I stay close to myself, that is who I am. This is the voice of the ego, the thought that arises from an angry, negative 'splintered spirit', a part of the subconscious mind. Yes there are a few running around up there in the head, going back and forth arguing and commenting making excuses and getting nasty. We all carry them in our own heads these voices especially when we are asleep even while awake. Our world is but a dream, and we keep on dreaming even into our wakeful state until 'shit hits the fence'!
We dream our way towards a nightmare all the time if we notice our dreams, they always starts off fun and beautiful but towards the end it all falls to pieces and again 'shit happens'! These are the moments of truth, the moment when reality reveals itself as a whole and for those who sees this or catch a glimpse of it will awaken to the truth of that moment, Satori, Moksha, Samadhi, Tafakur, the abode of silence, We are rudely awaken to this state everyday of our lives but we are too far asleep to notice it; today we need a slap in the face or a kick in the ASs, to be awaken and the wakefulness rarely last but a moment another thought runs s new reel of its own drama and the consciousness is gone, the mind drift into another episode unrelated to the previous event. And this is endless chattering of the mind that we humans have with us to a greater or lesser extent.
So when it comes to religious belief and Faith I must admit that I am yet to find my truth of the matter, I am a spiritual person and my spirit is already with my Lord, I am already submitted to Him and my will is His Will. I must also admit that although I have challenged God when in angry burst of energy, I am afraid for my transgressions, I cannot claim to be free from fear just as yet. I am still not absolutely liberated from the ties of material life nor is my knowledge and understanding capable of delivering me to the other shore without encountering storms and turbulence. So I will abide in being where I am at, at the moment in time. I am here Now.
AND THIS TOO WILL PASS.....
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Am I ready for my MASTERS DEGREE?
I am in the process of writing my MFA proposal for USM and it seems the more I look into it the more I find I have to learn about it; just the proposal itself, format and all. It is interesting however now that i have rummage through all the sources including confiding with the various faculty members who are also my close friends one or two.Initially it was the question of can i do it? Then came the can I afford it? and followed by is it worth it.
I have a bachelor's degree from the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay, graduated in 1982. I graduated with a degree entitled "Personal Concentration major" because I designed my own degree through a program called "The University Without Walls" which was pioneered by the University of Wisconsin at Madison. I was recommended this program by my mentor and art professor the Late Mr. William Prevetti at the University who thought that I was wasting my time in the studios and too smart to know better.
When I was asked to write my proposal for the program I called it 'Art in Quest of the Universality'. I wrote a lengthy ramblings of a little of this and little of that and somehow it got me through without the followed by interview which others had to do. And thus began my actual college life which was mostly spent travelling all over the world till this date: I am still schooling. I still keep an ongoing journal of sketches and writings, with the last one being done in Rome and Dubai and I still am writing an ongoing blog which has numbered some 890 entries since i began blogging, I am still drawing and painting whenever my heart moves me to and I have an average of two solo exhibitions a year although am tired of it.
Yes I am still in school, making mistakes and trying hard to justify my ways knowing fully well i do not convince not even myself. They called me the perpetual student when I was at the University as it took me almost five years to complete my degree and hung out at the campus like it was my only home even after graduating; it was one of the most beautiful times of my life. I am still learning it is like an addiction, an obsession the need to fill my head and my time with knowledge and creativity. I have the feeling that if not for my zest for being a student i would have gone insane a long time ago; I found that life was one hell of a boring place to be and was on the verge or drinking myself to death at one point in my life after my divorce while living in Green Bay, however God's Grace came in the form of my apartment neighbor by the name of Allen Hautamaki and who happened to be one of the student councilors at the University in Green Bay (UWGB).
Allen talked me out of working as a boner in the meat packing plant in Green Bay and later in Milwaukee, Wisconsin where I spent a total of three years of my life hacking away at semi frozen beef quarters and hinds in a 45 degrees temperature slaughterhouses so i can keep my wife and child alive. But it was not soon enough, it was not until I became like the cows i was boning and my mind was numb from the Wisconsin cold and the only escape was the booze. These were the darkest years of my life as i was put to the grind to test my spirit to the core: I was a Muslim in Green Bay, I buried my soul into the bottle, I ate anything an everything prohibited or otherwise; my sanity hung at the tip of the icicle. Along came Allen and he talked into me taking the SAT test to qualify myself for college.
When I started school I felt a sense of being free, I felt salvation from the the horrors I was doing to myself, the guilt i felt in loosing my wife and child, The hope i lost in everything I had dreamed of when I left Malaysia to raise a family in GB. The shame and loneliness of missing my own family and friends back home and I often had nightmares waking up with the terrified feeling that I cannot find my way back home.
UWGB these four letters stuck in my mind ever since i started school like they were my ultimate Mantra, they stood for my freedom from my own self created delusions.: no one was to blame I realized but myself as most of those who knew me in GB loved me sheltered me and gave me all the support i could ever needed. One of whom was my late mother in law who never turned me away from her home even after I was divorced. I was fortunate in the fact that I had many hands that reached out to keep me upright and kept me straight till I graduated from UWGB. and left the State for good leaving behind bitter sweet memories.
Alhamdullilah!
I have a bachelor's degree from the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay, graduated in 1982. I graduated with a degree entitled "Personal Concentration major" because I designed my own degree through a program called "The University Without Walls" which was pioneered by the University of Wisconsin at Madison. I was recommended this program by my mentor and art professor the Late Mr. William Prevetti at the University who thought that I was wasting my time in the studios and too smart to know better.
When I was asked to write my proposal for the program I called it 'Art in Quest of the Universality'. I wrote a lengthy ramblings of a little of this and little of that and somehow it got me through without the followed by interview which others had to do. And thus began my actual college life which was mostly spent travelling all over the world till this date: I am still schooling. I still keep an ongoing journal of sketches and writings, with the last one being done in Rome and Dubai and I still am writing an ongoing blog which has numbered some 890 entries since i began blogging, I am still drawing and painting whenever my heart moves me to and I have an average of two solo exhibitions a year although am tired of it.
Yes I am still in school, making mistakes and trying hard to justify my ways knowing fully well i do not convince not even myself. They called me the perpetual student when I was at the University as it took me almost five years to complete my degree and hung out at the campus like it was my only home even after graduating; it was one of the most beautiful times of my life. I am still learning it is like an addiction, an obsession the need to fill my head and my time with knowledge and creativity. I have the feeling that if not for my zest for being a student i would have gone insane a long time ago; I found that life was one hell of a boring place to be and was on the verge or drinking myself to death at one point in my life after my divorce while living in Green Bay, however God's Grace came in the form of my apartment neighbor by the name of Allen Hautamaki and who happened to be one of the student councilors at the University in Green Bay (UWGB).
Allen talked me out of working as a boner in the meat packing plant in Green Bay and later in Milwaukee, Wisconsin where I spent a total of three years of my life hacking away at semi frozen beef quarters and hinds in a 45 degrees temperature slaughterhouses so i can keep my wife and child alive. But it was not soon enough, it was not until I became like the cows i was boning and my mind was numb from the Wisconsin cold and the only escape was the booze. These were the darkest years of my life as i was put to the grind to test my spirit to the core: I was a Muslim in Green Bay, I buried my soul into the bottle, I ate anything an everything prohibited or otherwise; my sanity hung at the tip of the icicle. Along came Allen and he talked into me taking the SAT test to qualify myself for college.
When I started school I felt a sense of being free, I felt salvation from the the horrors I was doing to myself, the guilt i felt in loosing my wife and child, The hope i lost in everything I had dreamed of when I left Malaysia to raise a family in GB. The shame and loneliness of missing my own family and friends back home and I often had nightmares waking up with the terrified feeling that I cannot find my way back home.
UWGB these four letters stuck in my mind ever since i started school like they were my ultimate Mantra, they stood for my freedom from my own self created delusions.: no one was to blame I realized but myself as most of those who knew me in GB loved me sheltered me and gave me all the support i could ever needed. One of whom was my late mother in law who never turned me away from her home even after I was divorced. I was fortunate in the fact that I had many hands that reached out to keep me upright and kept me straight till I graduated from UWGB. and left the State for good leaving behind bitter sweet memories.
Alhamdullilah!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Two Paintings for sale!
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| "The Final Cut" is an acryclic on plywood panel measuring 4 feet by 6 feet. The painting was done with spontaneous strokes unsing a brom to express the motion of a slash afflicted by a swordsman. The figure in the foreground is a distorted scream of the victim while the background figure is of the striker who faces away from the the viewer. The apinting is messy to add to the dramatic apperence of the event. Others may view this painting with different take as one of my friends said it was of a horse in the foreground as it rises out of water... |
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This apinting of the same size and measurement of a splater which reminds me of one of those moments when I have had a 'Cosmic orgasm'. The painting more importantly emphasizes the strong cntrast of two colors, that of black against white with textures created by the process of blending through smearing. It is also done in acrylic and with a little charcoal added to blend or give it a smooth trnsition of forms. |
Monday, February 25, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
A word to my Children.
“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it…
Life is life, fight for it.”
[Mother Teresa] It is much easier to just say I quit when the chips are down but it is allot harder to rebound and dance to the eternal tune of that which is the cosmic song or Love, Faith and Truth. To regress or progress to succeed or fail, to laugh or cry, it is all in the steps we take as we march towards our final destination; our eternal home. Battered and bruised, our souls splintered, our dreams shattered, yet we trudge along without any rest or regret as though answering a call to come to rest at the days end, to lay down and fall asleep in the arms of Peace and tranquility. We are the best of creations we were anointed to become the Vicegerent over our domains, 'Khalifas " on the face of this earth, Keepers of the faith in humanity, do not let this Devine Will be stripped from us turning us into monsters and demons preying upon that which we were assigned to protect. Let us not be so lost in our recognition of who we are that our children and their children will curse us for having left behind nothing but sorrow and pain, anarchy and confusion; a world strewn with despair. Mine is but one lonely voice among the many that has been reaching out to touch your feelings and draw you towards the light of awakening, leading you away from self doubt and ignorance. I share with you my deepest thoughts and emotions that you might come to see the faults i have committed and avoid the pitfalls i had fallen into; that you might choose a better more noble path to follow. read me as though you might read a mind hungry for that which is the Truth, seeking to make amends for a lifelong errors in choices and kneeling before my Maker to ask for His compassionate Grace in forgiveness. I do not write just simply to show i can nor to entertain another's ego; i write to destroy mine. I write sometimes simply because it is the one means I have to say that i have not wasted my day with nothing accomplished, I write to keep my mind from slipping into darkness. So my children wherever you are, this is my message to you of who I am, for better or for worse i have tried to put it down in writing that you may forever reflect upon my works and in the process find comfort that your father has done it his way. Yes Like the Sinatra song, I did it my way! I have fallen to the bottomless pit and rose to the peak of the mystic mountain along the way, I have crawled and swim to reach the other shore; as I am nearing my end I can only say to all of you that this long and winded blogging has been started with you in mind for i have nothing of value to leave you in the material sense but only this and whatever is left of my artworks. I pray that somewhere in one or two sentences among this hundreds of entries you find something worthwhile to keep as your gift from me to carry you forward into your future. I believe strongly is living to serve; I believe in servitude as my form of worship. I am thankful for having lived life to the fullest albeit for better or worse. I am happy to have had so many beautiful relationships in the process. I am grateful for the time I have spent being with you, a part of you, I will always cherish the memory of the three women who bore me my children, It is my hope that all of you will live life with as much passion as I had. It my wish to let you know that I love you more dearer than my own life. May the Lord bless you with His Infinite Grace.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it…
Life is life, fight for it.”
[Mother Teresa] It is much easier to just say I quit when the chips are down but it is allot harder to rebound and dance to the eternal tune of that which is the cosmic song or Love, Faith and Truth. To regress or progress to succeed or fail, to laugh or cry, it is all in the steps we take as we march towards our final destination; our eternal home. Battered and bruised, our souls splintered, our dreams shattered, yet we trudge along without any rest or regret as though answering a call to come to rest at the days end, to lay down and fall asleep in the arms of Peace and tranquility. We are the best of creations we were anointed to become the Vicegerent over our domains, 'Khalifas " on the face of this earth, Keepers of the faith in humanity, do not let this Devine Will be stripped from us turning us into monsters and demons preying upon that which we were assigned to protect. Let us not be so lost in our recognition of who we are that our children and their children will curse us for having left behind nothing but sorrow and pain, anarchy and confusion; a world strewn with despair. Mine is but one lonely voice among the many that has been reaching out to touch your feelings and draw you towards the light of awakening, leading you away from self doubt and ignorance. I share with you my deepest thoughts and emotions that you might come to see the faults i have committed and avoid the pitfalls i had fallen into; that you might choose a better more noble path to follow. read me as though you might read a mind hungry for that which is the Truth, seeking to make amends for a lifelong errors in choices and kneeling before my Maker to ask for His compassionate Grace in forgiveness. I do not write just simply to show i can nor to entertain another's ego; i write to destroy mine. I write sometimes simply because it is the one means I have to say that i have not wasted my day with nothing accomplished, I write to keep my mind from slipping into darkness. So my children wherever you are, this is my message to you of who I am, for better or for worse i have tried to put it down in writing that you may forever reflect upon my works and in the process find comfort that your father has done it his way. Yes Like the Sinatra song, I did it my way! I have fallen to the bottomless pit and rose to the peak of the mystic mountain along the way, I have crawled and swim to reach the other shore; as I am nearing my end I can only say to all of you that this long and winded blogging has been started with you in mind for i have nothing of value to leave you in the material sense but only this and whatever is left of my artworks. I pray that somewhere in one or two sentences among this hundreds of entries you find something worthwhile to keep as your gift from me to carry you forward into your future. I believe strongly is living to serve; I believe in servitude as my form of worship. I am thankful for having lived life to the fullest albeit for better or worse. I am happy to have had so many beautiful relationships in the process. I am grateful for the time I have spent being with you, a part of you, I will always cherish the memory of the three women who bore me my children, It is my hope that all of you will live life with as much passion as I had. It my wish to let you know that I love you more dearer than my own life. May the Lord bless you with His Infinite Grace.
The Exhibition was first held in South Korea venued at the Korea Design Center in 2010. In the effort towards making this even global, the sponsors had decided that the show be held outside of Korea.
Asian countries includes China, India, Saudi Arabia, Bangladesh, Hong Kong, Korea, and many others. Great Britain, France, Germany are a few of the Euro countries participating in making the even more global as so will the participation from American Designers.
It is an honor for School of The Arts to be made the host for this even and MGTF will be giving its support in making this event a success. This show will be promoting the works of 160 designers from the various Asian Countries.
The idea is to bring to Penang the Best of the Best in Creative Design from Asia. For those who are in this field young and ‘otais’, it is seriously encourage that you be there to lend your support and perhaps learn a thing or two from the Internationally acclaimed designers.
Rub shoulders with the best and see where you stand and the many opportunities to meet those who think and act global, it through the expression of their own native cultures.
Meet the Trend Setters – Styles, techniques, psychological impact – spiritual?. Emotional, it is a good place to share our thoughts and creativity.
Opening Ceremony: 22 Feb 2013 (Fri), 3.30pm
Venue: MGTF, USM
Officiates by Y. Bhg. Prof. Dato' See Ching Mey
(Deputy Vice Chancellor, Division of Industry & Community Network USM)
(opportunity to meet with 11 artists & designers from Korea on the opening reception ..so dont miss out!!)
 |
The Exhibition was first held in South Korea venued at the Korea Design Center in 2010. In the effort towards making this even global, the sponsors had decided that the show be held outside of Korea.
Asian countries includes China, India, Saudi Arabia, Bangladesh, Hong Kong, Korea, and many others. Great Britain, France, Germany are a few of the Euro countries participating in making the even more global as so will the participation from American Designers.
It is an honor for School of The Arts to be made the host for this even and MGTF will be giving its support in making this event a success. This show will be promoting the works of 160 designers from the various Asian Countries.
The idea is to bring to Penang the Best of the Best in Creative Design from Asia. For those who are in this field young and ‘otais’, it is seriously encourage that you be there to lend your support and perhaps learn a thing or two from the Internationally acclaimed designers.
Rub shoulders with the best and see where you stand and the many opportunities to meet those who think and act global, it through the expression of their own native cultures.
Meet the Trend Setters – Styles, techniques, psychological impact – spiritual?. Emotional, it is a good place to share our thoughts and creativity.
Opening Ceremony: 22 Feb 2013 (Fri), 3.30pm
Venue: MGTF, USM
Officiates by Y. Bhg. Prof. Dato' See Ching Mey
(Deputy Vice Chancellor, Division of Industry & Community Network USM)
(opportunity to meet with 11 artists & designers from Korea on the opening reception ..so dont miss out!!)
Thursday, February 21, 2013
My mother told me there would be days like this.
So where are we at Bahari? Are we still in this game of existence, of day to day making sense or cents out of nonsense or no cents? How far or how near are we from our goals and expectations or are we at last really washed out, throw in the towel and say screw it all for nothing? Almost nine hundred entries of the blogging and what have we got to show for it? Bare yourself, share you life's experiences, create and hopefully benefit those who happen to look into what we aspire to accomplish through this blogging , you say. Well after all these years and the ups and downs where are we at, Bahari?
Still breathing, still kicking, still wondering where the next penny is going to drop from as I have spent my last dime on a cup of Ali Cafe from the vending machine, that is where i am at. My daughter's friend called me up telling me that my daughter called her from Hanoi needing money as she is not having a good time there,mostly not getting along with her friend and my son needs a new tyre for his bicycle and perhaps tonight's dinner and cat food! The washer at the house is broke so i have to handwash my and my son's cloaths, yes when it rains it pours. But hey Such Is, and this too will pass. One day you are spending some 700odd Euros in four days in Rome and the next you are scraping around for cash to pay for your dinner, that is where I am at.
There are those who will laugh and those who sympathise with my predicament but for so long as I am breathing and am able to provide I know it will all work out for shit happens for good reasons as there is a silver lining behind every dark cloud, I believe so. It may have been a mistake to make my daughter do what she hesitated to do like joining her friend in Hanoi for her holidays and yes my son in Dubai will say. "I told you so, its a mistake as you cannot afford it..." I will have to swallow the pill, I accept the consequences of my actions, always does in the past.
Nothing is permanent, not the good or the bad as all is subject to change and change for better or worse will happen in the course of a lifetime for better or worse it is all in how we look at life. If my intention be known it is to teahc my two children here how it feels not have money, to be hungry and to be dependant on others. It is never a good feeling for anyone and as such it is my hope that they become strnger and learn to strive to survive if and when I am gone. But it looks like they are not really trully a chip of the old block as they still fail to see what it takes to excell. I have failed my children, I should have stayed employed and making money like everyone else so they do not have to go through hardships an me too for that matter. But as Napoleon once said, "Space you can recover, Time never".
What have i left/ Faith? Faith in my Lord to provide in my time of dire need? My son in Dubai who is going through his own motions in life? or my sone in Switzerland who has his own rivers to cross. There is only one faith left and that is in myself, to make shit or miracles happen and I have been at this for nearly sixty odd years now, doing this and done that; what have got to show? Should i be ashame of myself ? Should I blame all the wrongs that have touched me and my children for the way i have chosen to live my life? What good is all the soul searching and mind mapping journies that I have been trekking all these years? Have i really squandered all my options, jeopardized my childrens' future through wrong choices of self serving interests?
God, I have no answers anymore! I am tired, getting too old for this. I just feel like laying down and not wake up for good, if only i could. God forgive me for feeling such despair, this feeling of hopelessness, if only I had listened to my mother when she switched off the light slammed the door shut and left me in the darkness while i was in the middle of creating an art piece at three in the morning; to tell me to stop wasting my time.! It took me ten years to start painting again after that but I did and look where it got me! Sure, blame it on your mother, you say, if you only knew. The past will always haunt you especially when it is etched deeply into your psyche and the root is too deep to be rooted out, this is what the Buddha called the deep rooted Karmas.
So, where are we at Bahari? Have we learned much from life or is life still shoving crap down our throat? Grist for the mill, someone once said, that is all it is, the cork and screws that keeps the machine running, the compost heap that one has collected in order that new things can be grown from the product; if only I could stand away from it all and view the larger picture to see where or what it is all about.
Still breathing, still kicking, still wondering where the next penny is going to drop from as I have spent my last dime on a cup of Ali Cafe from the vending machine, that is where i am at. My daughter's friend called me up telling me that my daughter called her from Hanoi needing money as she is not having a good time there,mostly not getting along with her friend and my son needs a new tyre for his bicycle and perhaps tonight's dinner and cat food! The washer at the house is broke so i have to handwash my and my son's cloaths, yes when it rains it pours. But hey Such Is, and this too will pass. One day you are spending some 700odd Euros in four days in Rome and the next you are scraping around for cash to pay for your dinner, that is where I am at.
There are those who will laugh and those who sympathise with my predicament but for so long as I am breathing and am able to provide I know it will all work out for shit happens for good reasons as there is a silver lining behind every dark cloud, I believe so. It may have been a mistake to make my daughter do what she hesitated to do like joining her friend in Hanoi for her holidays and yes my son in Dubai will say. "I told you so, its a mistake as you cannot afford it..." I will have to swallow the pill, I accept the consequences of my actions, always does in the past.
Nothing is permanent, not the good or the bad as all is subject to change and change for better or worse will happen in the course of a lifetime for better or worse it is all in how we look at life. If my intention be known it is to teahc my two children here how it feels not have money, to be hungry and to be dependant on others. It is never a good feeling for anyone and as such it is my hope that they become strnger and learn to strive to survive if and when I am gone. But it looks like they are not really trully a chip of the old block as they still fail to see what it takes to excell. I have failed my children, I should have stayed employed and making money like everyone else so they do not have to go through hardships an me too for that matter. But as Napoleon once said, "Space you can recover, Time never".
What have i left/ Faith? Faith in my Lord to provide in my time of dire need? My son in Dubai who is going through his own motions in life? or my sone in Switzerland who has his own rivers to cross. There is only one faith left and that is in myself, to make shit or miracles happen and I have been at this for nearly sixty odd years now, doing this and done that; what have got to show? Should i be ashame of myself ? Should I blame all the wrongs that have touched me and my children for the way i have chosen to live my life? What good is all the soul searching and mind mapping journies that I have been trekking all these years? Have i really squandered all my options, jeopardized my childrens' future through wrong choices of self serving interests?
God, I have no answers anymore! I am tired, getting too old for this. I just feel like laying down and not wake up for good, if only i could. God forgive me for feeling such despair, this feeling of hopelessness, if only I had listened to my mother when she switched off the light slammed the door shut and left me in the darkness while i was in the middle of creating an art piece at three in the morning; to tell me to stop wasting my time.! It took me ten years to start painting again after that but I did and look where it got me! Sure, blame it on your mother, you say, if you only knew. The past will always haunt you especially when it is etched deeply into your psyche and the root is too deep to be rooted out, this is what the Buddha called the deep rooted Karmas.
So, where are we at Bahari? Have we learned much from life or is life still shoving crap down our throat? Grist for the mill, someone once said, that is all it is, the cork and screws that keeps the machine running, the compost heap that one has collected in order that new things can be grown from the product; if only I could stand away from it all and view the larger picture to see where or what it is all about.
The Karmic circle
In today's papers, an Indonesian maid was sentenced to 20 years in prison for throwing a four month old baby around like a 'Rag doll' and her actions were captured on the CC Camera. She was on her first day at her job and the baby landed in the hospital. No, not every Indonesian maids are mean and cruel but there is every now and then a case of unfortunate choices made by the employers and it can happen to any race.
Yes what is the world coming to!? Have we become much worse than the animals that we can commit such heinous acts towards our young without any sense of pity much less remorse? Why are we being tested so drastically with such shameful acts like abandoning new born infants in toilets and garbage bins; where are we as a specie headed for? Perhaps to fast and too much Globalization is not such a great idea as people cross borders for the the sake of employment are not yet ready to accept the consequences of being uprooted and placed in a foreign environment and couple this with a disturbed mind or a criminal mind being employed into our homes it makes for shit to happen. And yes shit is beginning to hit the fence as more and more abuse stories surface from both sides of the equation. Employers abuse their maids and maids abuse their employers.
As the wise ones have been saying, we have forgotten how to be thankful for what we have or are given, we take things for granted and for our own self gratification. We forget that all things are transient and that what we do will come back to haunt us in one form or another; we are loosing our sense of values and our humanity towards those who seek and need our strength. We are becoming more and more greedy and self serving even forgetting good deeds done to us in our times of need. Where is compassion in this days and age, what happened to Love and Understanding? Even the Gods must be weeping for what is becoming of us as humans whether on the Global scale or as individuals. Threats of wars and annihilation, exploitation and corruptions, human and drug trafficking; we are facing a human dilemma like a cancer threatening to rip us apart as we often times watch helplessly.
What is wrong with us? Why have we become like demons instead of angels as we were created to be? It is indeed sad and not to mention a fearful worry the way humanity is headed. This is the 'Kali Yuga', the Age of destruction according the the Hindu calendar of Ages and to the Buddhist it is considered the Dharma Ending Age, to the Christians and Muslims it is the the approach of the End of Days as life as it is will turn into Chaos and Anarchy rules and I hope this vicious circle of Karmic consequences will somehow find a miracle cure. During my 'sembang', shooting the breeze, with my friends at one of my hangouts the issue was discussed with quite an emotional fervour and after listening to every opinions put forth i realized that most of those present came to the same conclusion; that man is if has become worse than animals in his behaviour.
Are we? Are we worse than the lesser creatures that inhabit this planet? Those that are incapable of thoughts and emotions? I gave my opinion at the end of the discussion by asking this and with added that there is some things worse than us even if we are worse than animals and that we often forget of their influences in our lives. Iblis, Satan and Jinns; as said in the scriptures for the people of the book, Man is a pawn in the 'Game of Power' where religion is concern for God, Man has to understand his two enemies in life and that being; his ego (Greed , Hate, Delusions.) and the 'whisperer of dissension and evil acts' the Devil; the sower of discord and destruction. The people of the Book has Iblis and Satan, Buddhism has Mara and His Hordes, Hinduism has its own Demons; all bound and determined to prove man as incapable and undeserving of being bowed to much less served as God's finest of creations.
Whether we choose to accept this or not is irrelevant to those who do not believe in any form of religion or belief but the fact remains that we often do not act out of our own free will when we commit heinous crimes against our fellow man. The saying that the devil's ability to make man believe he does not exist is his most potent act. Today less and less of us are into the habit of equipping ourselves with knowledge; we read less if not at all, we live our lives oblivious to what or who we or have come to be in relation to man and society. We leave it to thee other guy to do our home work and carry out or chores while we are lull into deep sleep as we spend our time day in day out blinded from any form of Truth. When the worse happens we take refuge in the fact that we simply blame ourselves, our lack of knowledge and our hopeless and helplessness.
Man is locked into a 'Vicious Circle' like a snake eating its own tail not knowing what it is doing. Our ignorance of who we are inherently at all levels of humanity from the Devinne to the Sinner has slowly been catching up with us in the forms of negative manifestations such as wars and cruelties towards one another, lack of Love and Compassion or even conscience; in this sense we are indeed becoming worse than our fellow creature and other sentient beings.
The cure is to return to our original state of faith and devotion towards our Lord, That which we hold to be true and Immovable, That which we hold to be The Truth, that which we came from to Which we will return. Man was created as the best of Creations for a reason and it is in our interest as humans to discover this before it is too late, before our infants and children become food and fodder for the unwholesome and unseen claws of darkness. It is in our Collective Interest that we 'Wake Up!" and stay Awake! That we teach those coming after we are gone that there will be no peace for us until we can come to look at ourselves and know who we truly are and in this discovery act as One Devine Voice in saying No! Enough is Enough! The Light of Creation will prevail and Darkness will be replaced by the Man's awakening and realizations from his deep stupor. The Karmic Circle will be broken, the Snake will be Wise and free from consuming itself: with greed, hate and ignorance.
And the Lord said, "Let there Be Light!"
Yes what is the world coming to!? Have we become much worse than the animals that we can commit such heinous acts towards our young without any sense of pity much less remorse? Why are we being tested so drastically with such shameful acts like abandoning new born infants in toilets and garbage bins; where are we as a specie headed for? Perhaps to fast and too much Globalization is not such a great idea as people cross borders for the the sake of employment are not yet ready to accept the consequences of being uprooted and placed in a foreign environment and couple this with a disturbed mind or a criminal mind being employed into our homes it makes for shit to happen. And yes shit is beginning to hit the fence as more and more abuse stories surface from both sides of the equation. Employers abuse their maids and maids abuse their employers.
As the wise ones have been saying, we have forgotten how to be thankful for what we have or are given, we take things for granted and for our own self gratification. We forget that all things are transient and that what we do will come back to haunt us in one form or another; we are loosing our sense of values and our humanity towards those who seek and need our strength. We are becoming more and more greedy and self serving even forgetting good deeds done to us in our times of need. Where is compassion in this days and age, what happened to Love and Understanding? Even the Gods must be weeping for what is becoming of us as humans whether on the Global scale or as individuals. Threats of wars and annihilation, exploitation and corruptions, human and drug trafficking; we are facing a human dilemma like a cancer threatening to rip us apart as we often times watch helplessly.
What is wrong with us? Why have we become like demons instead of angels as we were created to be? It is indeed sad and not to mention a fearful worry the way humanity is headed. This is the 'Kali Yuga', the Age of destruction according the the Hindu calendar of Ages and to the Buddhist it is considered the Dharma Ending Age, to the Christians and Muslims it is the the approach of the End of Days as life as it is will turn into Chaos and Anarchy rules and I hope this vicious circle of Karmic consequences will somehow find a miracle cure. During my 'sembang', shooting the breeze, with my friends at one of my hangouts the issue was discussed with quite an emotional fervour and after listening to every opinions put forth i realized that most of those present came to the same conclusion; that man is if has become worse than animals in his behaviour.
Are we? Are we worse than the lesser creatures that inhabit this planet? Those that are incapable of thoughts and emotions? I gave my opinion at the end of the discussion by asking this and with added that there is some things worse than us even if we are worse than animals and that we often forget of their influences in our lives. Iblis, Satan and Jinns; as said in the scriptures for the people of the book, Man is a pawn in the 'Game of Power' where religion is concern for God, Man has to understand his two enemies in life and that being; his ego (Greed , Hate, Delusions.) and the 'whisperer of dissension and evil acts' the Devil; the sower of discord and destruction. The people of the Book has Iblis and Satan, Buddhism has Mara and His Hordes, Hinduism has its own Demons; all bound and determined to prove man as incapable and undeserving of being bowed to much less served as God's finest of creations.
Whether we choose to accept this or not is irrelevant to those who do not believe in any form of religion or belief but the fact remains that we often do not act out of our own free will when we commit heinous crimes against our fellow man. The saying that the devil's ability to make man believe he does not exist is his most potent act. Today less and less of us are into the habit of equipping ourselves with knowledge; we read less if not at all, we live our lives oblivious to what or who we or have come to be in relation to man and society. We leave it to thee other guy to do our home work and carry out or chores while we are lull into deep sleep as we spend our time day in day out blinded from any form of Truth. When the worse happens we take refuge in the fact that we simply blame ourselves, our lack of knowledge and our hopeless and helplessness.
Man is locked into a 'Vicious Circle' like a snake eating its own tail not knowing what it is doing. Our ignorance of who we are inherently at all levels of humanity from the Devinne to the Sinner has slowly been catching up with us in the forms of negative manifestations such as wars and cruelties towards one another, lack of Love and Compassion or even conscience; in this sense we are indeed becoming worse than our fellow creature and other sentient beings.
The cure is to return to our original state of faith and devotion towards our Lord, That which we hold to be true and Immovable, That which we hold to be The Truth, that which we came from to Which we will return. Man was created as the best of Creations for a reason and it is in our interest as humans to discover this before it is too late, before our infants and children become food and fodder for the unwholesome and unseen claws of darkness. It is in our Collective Interest that we 'Wake Up!" and stay Awake! That we teach those coming after we are gone that there will be no peace for us until we can come to look at ourselves and know who we truly are and in this discovery act as One Devine Voice in saying No! Enough is Enough! The Light of Creation will prevail and Darkness will be replaced by the Man's awakening and realizations from his deep stupor. The Karmic Circle will be broken, the Snake will be Wise and free from consuming itself: with greed, hate and ignorance.
And the Lord said, "Let there Be Light!"
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Contd. Ink and brush study -CB2
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| Light and dark is the essence of black and whit sketching,forms and shapes are created by this thorough understanding to such a degree that it is done without second thoght. |
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| Without being overly vulgar, one can create a whole lot of humour about sex. |
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| Sketching your mind is like tapping into the subconcious, downloading files that one never know is hidden somewhere in the recesses of one's psyche. |
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| Art is a therapy for many who finds it hard to espress themselves in the 'Normal' ways. It also is one form of expression where the content of the expressions flows out uninhibited; which makes good art. |
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| Enjoy! |
Contd. Study Ink and Brush Sketching
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| My attempt at sketching with Ink and a fine brush led me to do some oriental figures with the flowing robes and colorful designs. No particular interest in the subject matter except to have some fun. |
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| A fine tipped brush can do wonders what pen and innk cannot due to the flexibility of the brush tip. |
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| These are small sketches abou three inches tall the most but the challenge was to create an illusion of design and color while making the subject look like it is in action. |
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| Adding humor to the sketches makes it more interesting and often enought the subject matter comes latter after the completion of the sketches. Thoughts and ideas about what to write manifest as the sketches progresses. |
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| The mind has a voracious habit to express in any form possible. If one takes the trouble to pursue a subject long enough oe will come upon a theme to work with or one can enjoy until it passes. |
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| These later skecthes were done with the CB2 in mind, a character that had its origin in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I spent more than eight years of my life living in Green Bay and I graduated from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. (UWGB), Ya! Hey Green Bay! |
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| The Cheeseburger Buddha aka 'Th Mystique Man' among other akas was a persona i created to express the out of the ordinary pigment of my imagination, ( most of which cannot be loaded here were either destroyed for their content or given away). |
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| There are many entities in my mind, always at logger heads with one another and I have to in one way or another bring them all out to makes some sense out of their constant bickerings. Int he process i also find in them my subject maters to illustrate. |
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| Having fun while sketching is the key to not being bored doing it. Sketching is the art capturing what Is in the moment, my thoughts and ideas, my schemes and whims, my fears and fantacies. |
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| Enjoy! |
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