Wedding in Islam should be moderate.

One of my cousins had a wedding held for his daughter and it was held at a "Wedding Center" at InCity Shopping Complex. was it? Anyway there were five weddings happening at The lifts were kept busy and on one of my trips going up to the third floor A gentleman all dressed like and Ustaz walked in and started fiddling with the buttons. He never even casted an eye at me and so I said when the doors shut," The Prophet of Allah said that even a simple smile is a gift. Assalamualaikum .He looked at me and took my hands into his and by then the lift stopped and we both walked out. Later at the "Angkat Nikah" ceremony where the bride and bridegroom tie their knots, I noticed that the Ustaz in the elevator was also the Khadi. After the ceremony as he was walking away I stopped him and apologized, he smiled we meet again! he said.. 

I once listened to a rant from a Malay Ustaz Imam on You Tube all about all these fanfare and dowries stuff is against Islam, Nothing written in the Quran or Hadith, all these big feasts and having fun is not Islamic. This guy was spitting brimstone and fire about it. Wow! I thought to myself there goes Salleh's Catering business, my cousin will suffer another mild stroke, if the Malays were to all in all makes it a Fatwa that no more extravagant weddings are to be held...hmm. I think weddings and funerals are two of the most quality times that Muslims should celebrate other than the Major events like the Ramadan ; they bring the community together whether to celebrate or commemorate. I love going to weddings especially Malay weddings, not only because of the food, but also to be gawking at lovely ladies in their best dress.  Perhaps herein lies the problem as to why big weddings should be declared, Haram!

It would be a sad day indeed if it comes to pass that the Religious Department issues a fatwa that limits weddings to the bare essentials like the days of the Prophet (PBUH) and the predominantly  Desert Bedouin. It would mean allot of jobs being put out of business, I once asked my friend Ah Huat, the Auto Air condition Mechanic, why do the Chinese burn paper money for their ancestors. He said although it is really meaningless and a waste, it helps to keep allot of people employed. Anyway no wedding can match that of the former Prime Minister's daughter to a Kazakhstan man, I never found out what status he had but the wedding was very extravagant all around. Perhaps another reason why Islam would prohibit big weddings. 

 

    

Another Journey in the making.

When you are paying the rent for your apartment that is more than the monthly salary of the security guard  of the complex, you deserve a peace of mind where your living quarters is concern. But not where I am at,  Living at the top most floor of the 12 story building my daughter and I had to deal with a leaky water tank at the top most level of the building which causes the paint job on ceiling of our apartment to start flaking and drop on to the living room floor including all the table, couch and TV area and so forth. It ends up I had to sweep the floor five or six time a day just to be able to walk to our bedrooms without too much chalky paint material sticking at the bottom of our feet. This is the second time that this happens as it also happened for a few months last year.I must say it sucks but I made it my practice not to loose my cool and handled it while it lasted with a sense of patience and acceptance. It is not fair for my daughter to have to deal with this while the landloard just left for a vacation in Japan.

It is time for me however to take my leave of this place and seek God on the road again, at 70 it will be a challenge no doubt but it ia what makes me happy most, the freedom to be myself again not having to care for or answer to anyone other than me. My daughter is somewhat pretty stable no, with a great job and a beautiful apartment and a cat; leaving her now will not be a big worry. My son too is doing very well at his job and so not much to worry there too, yes I have been a worry wart these past few years over my children' well being and I think I have done more than enough and before It becomes too much for all concern, it is a great time to see the what else life has in store for me. I feel quite well physically and if I take it slow and easy i might be able to cover some distance and seek out some new places. 

I will carrying some art materials with me to do some sketching and water colors along the way, I hope it will be like the old days. I will try to keep this Blog running if and when I can find an excess to Internet. I hope everyone who knows me will accept my decision to be a wanderer as I have always been most of my life in the past, it is my way of staying active and alive, Heavens forbid if i meet my end on the road, so be it, I completely am ready to accept whatever the circumstances may be. Life is not worth living if one has no dream to fulfill and merely exist just to occupy space and one's feet nailed to the floor. It is even worse when you are being judged for being less than who you are and you are not pulling your weight, by your own children; it means you have dallied too long in one place. You have become a familiar character and as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Before  I become comfortably dependent upon this arrangement of my present state of being, it is best for me to make myself scarce and go for broke on this perhaps my last journey of self discovery...Who am I...truly.  

"When man can “wish without worrying,” every desire will be instantly fulfilled...fear must be erased from the consciousness. It is man’s only enemy – fear of lack, fear of failure, fear of sickness, fear of loss and a feeling of insecurity on some plane -
we must substitute faith for fear, for fear is only inverted faith; it is faith in evil instead of good. The object of the game of life is to see clearly one’s good and to obliterate all mental pictures of evil. This must be done by impressing the subconscious mind with a realization of good. "= Florence Scovel Shinn.

'Wish You Were Here."- a Tribute.

As I listen to Pink Floyd's"Wish you were Here" for the countless time, the music still trans port into s sublime sense of feeling, almost spiritual, it is like listening to cry of my soul in anguish and ecstasy both at the same time. The first time I listened to the album i had just arrived back from a trip to the South West states of  New Mexico, Arizona and Colorado to the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay. It was at the,  students apartments where three Thai foreign students were staying at together. I was so tired and beaten after the long drive through all three states in what was a 1965 Chevy Impala that all smashed up on the passenger side from a freak accident while I was driving on Highway 666 between Galkup and Durango in the dead od night headed for Denver, Colorado. I had laid down on their living room floor with large earphones lugged to my ears and my head spinning gently from a few shots od Brandy, I was introduced to Pink Floyd and I passed out while the music still went on in my head.

A Few years later when I returned to Malaysia doing the same school projects during my final semester sometime in 1979-80, I was able to visit my twin brother in Kucing, Sarawak on the Island of Borneo, The first thing he did was to play his recently purchased album of "Wish You Were Here", for my benefit. I smiled to myself within me and enjoyed the music while playing around with his daughter on the carpet floor; my twin and I rarely gets along and so moments like these were special.for me at least. Some music have a life of their own that can carry one along for a very long time; like a good Jake's Pizza on Main Street Downtown Green Bay, the taste never left your consciousness. What were the chances that my twin brother would have chosen this same particular album when in our entire life we had never sit and share any good music in the same room together. It is said that music can transport one to greater heights of ecstasy or even spiritual rapture; this album always does it for me. 

 

Which you prefer- Oak or Bamboo

"Remember the growth of a believer is not like a mushroom - but like an oak, which increases slowly indeed - but surely. Many suns, showers and frost pass upon it before it comes to perfection And in winter when it seems to be dead - it is gathering strength at the roost. Be humble, watchful and diligent in the means and endeavor to look through it all and fixed your eyes upon the Lord of Creation and all shall be well." - John Newton.

Someone posted the above quote on Face Book and I though it seems to hit a chord in me and so i am reflecting upon it to see how far or how near i am in keeping my original intention in focus. I must admit the the past few weeks has been sluggish as far getting much done that is worth mentioning and the living environment is again not so conducive for any deep contemplation or meditation; the ceiling is flaking off like snow due to a leak in the water tank above me. So I am kept busy sweeping and dusting and a little worried about my health having to breath the dust, but it is all taken care of by the Landlord although it takes time. I also have not been physically active and spend most of my time on the PC entertaining Face Book friends, people i hardly know but got to know better after all the postings back and forth. I enjoy getting a little involved with what is going on around me just to keep my mind a little occupied with the day to day activities of life out there. I realize that i cannot stay in my self made cave detached from the world and humanity.  

I spend many hours listening to talks and debates on the You Tube especially on the subject of Spirituality, Science and Religion, it is like listening to college lectures; the beauty of the Internet. When I am really bogged down I would watch a movie or two, God I can sit and watch movies all day if i want to, but i choose to read novels as i also enjoy reading, and then there is Furby, the cat who thinks I am her servant and closest friend, but she keeps me company even as I am writing this down. The little things in life that we do to keep our mind occupied rather than allow it to wander off thinking of unhealthy thoughts or simply fall half asleep in a stupor allowing for depression to creep in. It is these minor day to day vexations that one has to be very mindful of in order to stay on course while on this journey, they can rob you of your accumulated achievements or make for regression.

There is always room to educate and revitalize the mind through further studies and deeper observations of one's day to day life while at the same time maintaining one;s course of action and activities giving it your utmost attention and best effort, The most vexing and taxing venture in living is in dealing with other humans regardless of who the are, the closer they are related to you, the harder. The sense of responsibility and commitment towards my daughter has kept me gong on in this my present moment, keeping myself in the confines of this apartment. There is not much to complain really in as far as comfort is concern, it is very quiet being on the top most floor with only one neighbor next door who is hardly around and when home keeps herself locked up. My daughter works most of the day and so i have the whole place to myself, and what  more can I ask for. However i fell the yearn to wander again, to travel the county like I did in the past. my strength and if I may I say, wisdom comes from meeting great mind and while experiencing hardships and awakening experiences while on the road. I have much yet to learn I feel inside me of what the road and the path has to offer in as far as my inner development and spiritual growth is concern.  BUt I do feel an inner sense of peace and tranquility like when in the middle of a hurricane.

Yes I have to be like the oak tree and brave the weather and accept my timely growth in inner and outer being, especially in the dead of winter when everything is in a chill factor I have to keep alive and growing. I have to keep  watchful eye on my progress and digress as life happens and act accordingly.for my own health and well being. 

"Solitude for me is a fount of healing which makes my life worth living. Talking is often a torment for me and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words." - C.Jung.

If you do not believe-does it hurt God?

Does God exist and till this day the great minds of the intellectual and religious, the scientific and philosophical are hard at it ,each trying to out proof the other. The likes of the late Christopher Hitchen is most probably right now still adamant of his atheistic stand making his justification before whatever that he is experiencing and off course he is not convincing, not to anything nor to himself either. When you have spent just about half your life justifying something, you end up with not being convinced whether you are right or wrong. To be truly committed to your belief or faith or whatever standing you have, you need not justify once you start to justify it means you are not positive yourself of what it is that you stand for anymore.Atheist like Hitchen, Dawkins. and a host other scientific minded nonbelievers who appear on You Tube videos giving their spill about their take on religion often sounds knowledgeable and fluent about what they talk about. They can kill an opponent point for point and this is simply because of repetition. When you have been doing something often enough you are bound to become good at it and gets better all the time. Sometimes they quote themselves word for word from one talk to another like they have ran out of ideas and the audience if they had been following these individuals often enough would recoil at the tedium of it all; oh no! not this same old line of argument again! Off curse the latest usage of the same ideas has become perfected in their delivery that will send the audience applauding to the ceiling; it is all showmanship when all is said and debated.

God has no problem whether you believe in His existence or not, does He? Do you think it would bother the All Seeing Omnipotent, Lord of Creation if you decide that he does not exist when the rest of the billions have some faith in Him in one form or another. And what have you got to loose if you harbor some small sense of humility and acknowledge that there is by chance a Being greater than life that you can turn to when all else is not functioning accordingly. As a Muslim, I always as often as I can remember, to ask my Lord to protect me against my own ego, my own desires, my own ignorance and so forth. Perhaps He listens and comply, perhaps He is too busy elsewhere, but I know for sure that on my own I could not have survived these seventy years without taking my own life or worse; taking the life of another. As a Buddhist practitioner, I would like to abide by the laws of Karma, that I reap what i sow and keep evolving till I learn better and overcome all my karmic consequences and attain self liberation. I do not see anything right or wrong in how I choose my path towards my own salvation, whatever that entails, I believe in an Oft forgiving, Merciful Lord of Love and Compassion and not a wrathful deity out to punish one every chance He Gets. Nope if a man decides he does not believe in God, it does not hurt God in any way.     

The Laws of Karma sucks!

Silence is the way towards having a peaceful and contemplative mind, a mind that can encompass all in one unified point, in the here and now; the Divine Presence is here. No time or space has any influence over the Spirit, as no time or space can hold on to the ultimate consciousness of this we call mind; only in deep prayer can it be contained. Prayer is the highest form of human expression towards the unknown, that which lies beyond his comprehension. Prayer is the highest form of Yoga, or mental discipline, of meditation. To pray means to submit to give up, to surrender, to humble my ego, that which I take to rule my life. My small mind as the Zen Buddhist calls it, or the monkey mind as Thich Naht Hanh, the Vietnamese Monk and great Zen Master, calls it. Even an Atheist prays deep in heart, that he is on the right path, perhaps he prays to himself, his higher self.

We are all interconnected Beings. We are held together by one line of thread that holds together a network of threads like a net, a web. The spider weaves its whole web from one single strand of its excretion, through its behind. We originated from one single bang the call the Big bang, before that we were One, perhaps a molecule of Atom floating around in space and time. Our gift above all other creatures seen and unseen is the fact that we have a mind and we are fully conscious, except we choose to fall asleep and exist in a dream we call our waking life. Some claim we are created in the image of God, some even claim that we are indeed God playing the role of who we are, some do not claim anything at all except to claim that it is all an illusion, that the very I itself does not really exist. What it is that we claim ourselves to be in whatever image we were created from it is our inherent duty as a human to make an effort to discover who we truly are  in our relationship to one another and to the rest of the Universe and dare I say to our Maker, Lord of the Universe, call Him/Her by what name you may.

If and when you have found your true nature, that which was the original Unborn Buddha Nature, or the Ruhulkudus, or the Atman, that which is present in this moment witnessing; you will get to know your Higher Self, the source from which it all started; the strand that exits out of a spider's butt. How the Universe, How God, How Brahman, how thw Tao, the great Spirit is having a good time through you. The journey of a thousand miles begins where you are at and the first step you take might be your last or it will lead you to eternity; how far are you willing to go. Or are your feet nailed to the floor, or you carry such a heavy load that you cannot make it that far, your choice, a free choice to  make, accept life as it is with nothing after or live life fully knowing that what you sow today is germinating and that you are the creator of your paradise or your hell; the laws of karma sucks! 

Islam, Christianity and Buddhism- I am That, I am.

It will not be too long before Islam will become the major religion in the world despite all the adversities that has been and is still being thrown at it by those who are threatened by its very existence.I feel more and more of the younger generation embracing the religion out of their volition especially those who has traveled widely and are exposed to world religions and cultures. These new converts will make the vanguard of the future Muslims and most are coming from the Western countries including the United States. These are the 'disenchanted spirits' and lost souls as well as culturally demoralized individuals of their own home and upbringing.

The Catholic Church is being infested by moral wrong doings of its clergies from the highest to the regular priests with child abuse and pedophilia and Satanic worship among the accusations thrown at it. What Jesus has done for  for Christianity throughout  its history is today being undermined by internal discord and moral abuses. I am not advocating Islam against Christianity or any other religion for that matter, not my vocation nor intention. What my believe and understanding of the various religions of the world is so limited as to be in any position to pass any judgement of one over the other and as far as I am concern all religions no matter what or where it originates from is intended for good. The purpose of having a religious faith is to have some form of coherence over the matter of the human spirit, it also keeps man from  going insane in trying to make sense out of his daily life; at least for those who are on the road towards awakening; those who seek liberation from this cycle of life, death and rebirth.

I will never attain to fully understand religion albeit Islam or Christianity, Hinduism or whatever have you, but I know that I can come to a better understanding of my spirituality, my own self discovered path towards what i deem as the truth. I believe in a 'God' or a Higher Being by whatever name He is called that I am answerable to, this Ultimate Supreme Consciousness, is to me that which makes a spiritual sense and it is very personal. However as a Buddhist by practice I am inclined to believe that all this is still an illusion as much as I am an illusion. As such, or so long as I exist in this form and am not able to detach or discard myself from this physical and mental state I have to abide by the same rules as the rest of humanity; I have to live and play by the rules. These are the rules that I have to understand at the deepest level possible as the fate of my souls rides on this, what else is there more higher a purpose for being alive than to be fully awakened to the mysteries of belief and faith in the human spirit. 

I am here to serve, to serve humanity in the name of God,(Allah), the Higher State of Consciousness, whatever. I am here to become useful for the benefit of sentient beings if not the Planet itself, in no matter how small a service i can offer; this is my role, this is my purpose, this is my covenant; I am not here to be served. This I hold to be the truth although not the whole truth of the purpose of my existence, there is more to my being here in this form and playing this role for nearly 70 years now and perhaps i will be able to discover to realize the whole truth before i exit the stage in my final cut. Right or wrong is a sickness of the mind, the Buddha is said to have said, and for whatever it is worth I have played my part as best i could and am able to share my experience through this Blogging. 




















 

Splendorous Light Within...

-In The Beginning...Spirituality was Before Religion---
In ancient times .. human spirituality enjoyed a sublime Awareness of Oneness, with Divine Being. This Awareness of Oneness sprang from our own Divine-Self awareness. Before visiting here on the earth-plane, when we existed in what is currently called a heavenly etheric dimension we were fully aware of our Divine-Essence, and we brought this awareness with us (this powerful Self expression) when arriving into the uniqueness of this Earth-living."
from --'Splendorous Light Within'--
available all over.

I cam upon this posting on the group link that I have been following and the whole lengthy article is like a nail hammered home into what my mind has been trying to express but could not find better expression. I could have downloaded the whole article here but decided that it might be too long and infringe upon some technical ruling about posting someone else's ideas. I like what is said very much though and so I am still posting a few excerpts here just to share some similarities of what i have been trying to find in my practice and understanding. Anyone having followed my Blog over the years will by now see how my mind has changed over the years from one belief to another from one understanding to another, however I have yet to arrive at a final commitment towards what truly is my faith or how do I accept God in my life. Hence I will be sharing a few excerpts from the article although I  have no idea of except what is quoted at the end of the posting.

"Religion is one of the poorest ways to feel God.
The metaphysics of native indigenous cultures feels Oneness in God more deeply - "

Having being born and raised a Muslim and Buddhist in a rural rustic community before electricity was available, I was exposed to an almost primitive environment where religion and superstitious beliefs played a a critical role. Fear of the unseen and the unknown was a part of our daily phenomenal experience and we had learned to deal with. Hence it is not a simple matter of letting go when it comes to matters pertaining to or inherent believe system. It has taken me many years of self exploration and digging into the nature of my believe that I have evolved to this level of acceptance of what is truly right understanding of who or what I truly am. This years of Blogging tells part of the story on this journey, my struggle to find out and it may not as yet be over.

"This ONE is the infinite,divine invisible Eternal Consciousness.
In our oneness with Divine Being we Also are infinite, invisible
and eternal, but in our Individual expression, as Light Beings,
we manifest our individual self-hood as finite and local beings.
We are in fact a ‘Center’ of God-Consciousness, and because God is Eternal, we are too."

This is one of the most positive all inclusive views i  hae come across thus far in my search for understanding, it claims not to belong to any one particular faith or religion but encapsulates all. I am not saying that it is one hundred percent valid but thus far it is one of the most viable, makes sense and closest to what i envision.  In the words of Terence McKenna.

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms.
Terence McKenna

 





  











 

If Belief Patterns Reality -Jean Huston.

""Belief patterns reality." an off the cuff statement I extracted from a Jean Huston talk which I thought is pretty profound is its simplicity. What you believe, you create and how many of us really believe that and how often do we think about it as we go about our lives day to day doing what tis that we are doing fulfilling our obligations as humans. In my quest for a thorough understanding of who or what I am over the years I have noticed the gradual transition of the mind from one belief into another as I get older and the human psyche evolves around me. The knowledge and wisdom I have gathered and my own insights and understandings has brought me to this juncture where  old belief systems are giving way to a more developed and thoroughly analyzed and investigated ideas of how the human mind operates affecting life in and around me. Scientific research and spiritual transcendence are merging into one new paradigm replacing all the old belief that had been held on to as the truth. 
Religious dogma and principles are gradually being shelved for good in most cases where the latest in scientific discoveries of the inner workings of the human brain and genetic codes have replaced most religious revelations and assumed truth or so it seems. However God is not dead, not yet and for those like me of the old school God is very much alive closer to home more so than ever before. What science is revealing only helps to confirm the existence of a higher being, a super mind that governs the whole. It is like peeking into a microscope and discovering the innate nature of being to be an essence of that which is the source of all existence. We are consciousness itself, even the scientists are getting around to accepting this notion as they venture closer and closer to the core of our being and unraveling the mysteries of our inner workings and how it relates to our external physical nature.  We are more than meets the eye.

Mankind has arrived by leaps and bounds at the very edge of the precipe where he is challenged to take the leap of faith into a new dimension of existence, a new mode of perception and new from of belief systems if he is to survive the next millennia. Even if the old Gods are being swept away from the human consciousness and understanding, a new one is in the making. mankind will elect a new God that will rule the whole of the human race collectively and this God has yet to be named. The new God will be one that is the end product of our collective consciousness, with no attachments or identity, not related to any religious denomination but its own self. The God of so called modern man ia a God of the collective human mind generated from eons of evolution of the spirit through trials and tribulations of the collective human spirit and the scientific discoveries. Unlike the Gods of old this god will not be identified with any race, color or creed, no institutionalized ideologies nor adherence to symbols and dogmas; the God of tomorrow will hold the universal truth to be that of Unconditional Love and Compassion towards all sentient beings on the face of this Planet seen or unseen. 

Will come a time when man will stop bickering over who is right or wrong and whose faith and belief system works better; man will face life with a unified determinism that the survival of the whole is tantamount to the highest divinity. If 'belief were to pattern reality', then man will have to renovate, upgrade and modify his belief system in accordance with the call of the whole and not the national, religious or individual call. If we do not obliterate this our planet with a nuclear holocaust or end it with natural disasters through our wanton negligence of the environment, we might be able to save ourselves and move into the next phase of our evolutionary path, where the merger of science and spirituality becomes symbiotic  reality.

          

The Noetic Mind?-Atma Vichara..

" From the Greek noēsis/ noētikos, meaning inner wisdom, direct knowing, or subjective understanding. As defined by the philosopher William James in 1902, noetic refers to "states of insight into depths of truth unplumbed by the discursive intellect."

After all the insightful thoughts and revelations of our ancestors throughout our human history, we are still groping in the dark, not knowing or having any idea of where we are headed for or where we came from. Suddenly we are here despite what science and evolution theorists say. In spite of what religions have to say or whatever Philosophers believe, we as a human race is on the brink of extinction as we will annihilate ourselves simply because we can and intend to. It  sounds like a doomsday preacher calling out the End of Days, but sadly enough it is not far from the truth. It takes short of a miracle to get humanity back on track heading towards peace and stabilization. There is no words strong enough to spell out the urgency that we face, we do not need much more convincing than has already been exposed to; we got to be really  insensitive towards our lot if we ignore this while living our lives out in denial. 

Humanity has its ways of standing up to adversities in the past and many has come forward in out times of need to act as buffers and providers for those in need. Today we are in an urgent need for a greater number yet of man and women of good faith and and clarity of hearts to step forward on to the stage and take the role of a caretaker and preserver of this our whole Planet and every sentient that lives in it. Today more than ever we need to throw off our cloaks of ignorance and apathy towards our fellow man and the fate of this planet we call home. We are watching insects being wiped out and fishes from the largest whales to the tiny plankton being systematically removed by our very own waste products. The climate change is gathering momentum as scientists reveals the true nature of what is curing in and around the world. We need to  seriously look deep into ourselves and ask the same question over and over again, who am I and what is my role on this stage of human evolution and the life of this Planet. More critically, what will leave behind me as a legacy for my children and theirs after them

Let us not walk or crawl off this stage before we have at the very least established to ourselves what roles we played to the betterment of our fellow creatures and this Planet of our while we shared its lodging. Let us at the very least have a glimpse of self realization as to who we ttruly are and take that small step towards making it right for the rest of humanity, that which we deem as wrong or unjustified. Let us at the very least awaken to the reality around us that we are not alone and that we can together offer make the changes much needed today. We are each and everyone of us are endowed with the body, mind and spirit, we are the gifted souls that the Highest of    Most High had created to take charge of this Planet we call home; let it be so. 



  

Collective Consciousness.

Your Qiblat is the source off light within you, your true target. The Heart is the temple of the Living God and within it resides the the Luminous Spirit, the Essence that is God. This is the Divine Light out of which you were created and is still alive on this plane of existence; don't let this light be extinguished. When you pray, look to this point in you that is your Maker; you do not need to go to Makkah or Madinah to feel any closer to Him. The House of God that Abraham and Ishmael built in the middle of nowhere in the Arabian Desert is carried with you wherever you be and whatever your position is life is; this is true of all the three religions of the Book, The Children of Abraham. Allah is All Knowing and All Merciful, The Fair and Just.Humanity especially the, The Jews, The Christians and the Muslims will one day face the consequences of the decadence of the human quality of life to  such a low level around the world that the worth of a life is the cost of a bullet. I seriously think we as a whole if not individually have some explaining to do to our Maker when all is said and done.
, 
Tat Tvam Asi... That, I Am.
Some scientists says, we are holographic images floating around in the empty space of time itself. Some say we were brought here from outer space somewhere and others insist we were Apes at a certain period of our evolution; nothing wrong with that, better than be evolved from a bull frog. but the question still remains as to who or what are we, who am I, what am I made of, capable of am I created in the image of my Lord, like it is said in the Scriptures, and yes, free will and the rest of it. I am omni science, loaded with all the knowledge and wisdom accumulated along the way, some lost to memory while some remains as my self identification of who I am presently in this form, me looking at myself wondering what or who is truly real in nature, "I am that, I am..where form is emptiness and emptiness is form...God spoke unto Moses. 

Sadly enough the human suffering the Planet Itself all around us is gathering momentum more and more intense and critical; mankind will not survive too long if  there is a major shift in the human psyche as a whole towards healing and respiration; man has to come together as one mind, a collective mind and will it so that we can save and make this Planet more of a heaven to live in, this is our legacy for those who are inheriting what we leave behind. Let's join our hands together and take this journey of self realization to a limit uncharted before; let us all as one awaken to ourselves, in body mind and spirit. For those who seek for the same answers to the question of life, the fate of Humanity and the rest of the Planet bullshit time si over , it is time to act, do whatever it takes   in an effort towards saving this Planet we call home, this form we call 
human being or being human from a premature demise.

There are not enough or us who have attained Awakening and those who do lack the opportunity to share their wisdom with those who could use them, we talk of nothing in particular, and our mind is filled with videos of YouTube and fb and this is how we stay in touch; we chat, we show what we ate and where and how cute our children and grandchildren are, but we truly share very little, but little as it is is more than enough to shake the world if the Collective Human Mind is unleashed synchronized  like an orchestral music winding up in crescendo towards a climactic end, we can move mountains if we have to. Yes we can! We are geared towards this event but ever so slowly even with the advent of the computer, we are still dragging our feet, those of us who have touched upon the subject along this path, we have chosen, and there are many of us at all levels of humanity; wwe can bring a few more towards the 'Intention',  of our Collective Consciousness, 

We crap on the same plate we eat.

As a Muslim, I am sad to say that my faith has been shaken as if hit by a tornado, sending me reeling into outer space, wondering if there is a God or if I am lost, as I have always been in a state of limbo in ignorance. I feel elated sometimes when I pray silently while sitting on my pillows in the wee hours of the morning; I even feel the Divine within me touching my being. However, when my thoughts take flight over the earthly scenario of what is going on in my life as well as in the world, I feel hopeless. I sense that the God in whom I have placed my faith has abandoned humanity, if not me personally. Moreover, I feel my existence is merely to witness humanity's pain and suffering, the planet's decadence, and the demise of species becoming extinct one after another. There is no one to blame, and how can I blame my Maker? After all, He has granted Man free will to choose his own fate.

 

From my personal observation, Islam is a religion of the afterlife; it seems that life on this earth and time are just a passing phase, borrowed time to prepare mankind for the eternal afterlife. This is acceptable as long as the Earth does not suffer consequences from this transitional or 'transit lounge' mentality that shows little or no care for the temporary space occupied, leaving it worse than when they first arrived. It is akin to a park after being used by a beer-guzzling party of college students. As much as Muslims would deny it, the fate of the environment—the very future of this planet—is of very little concern to them, knowingly or otherwise; it is, after all, a transit lounge. "Dunia ini hak mereka, Akhirat kita punya," a common Malay Muslim saying meaning this world is theirs, ours is the afterlife.  "Dunia ini hanya sementara, Akhirat, selamanya," meaning this life is temporary, the hereafter is eternal.

 

Most religions, including Islam, consider heaven to be located out there somewhere, where one ends up in the afterlife if one is deserving. Having lived in accordance with the dictates of one's faith, one is rewarded with a resting place far removed from this Earth. Thus, my point is that caring for the Earth and its well-being is never and will never be of paramount importance to those who live for the afterlife; it is not their fault, however. I have grown up among people who have a disdainful, if not nonchalant, view of the fate of the environment, just like the beer guzzlers in the park. For these people, there will always be someone else to clean up after them. In Islam, it is said that cleanliness is next to Godliness, but from my personal experience, this is far from the truth in practice. It is not simply a matter of being lazy; it has become a mental state after hundreds of years of believing in the same principle or dogma without a deeper understanding of the ramifications.

 

Islam is also said to have declared that mankind was created to be the vicegerent or caretakers of this planet, in charge of the whole solar system as well as the unseen. If so, man has failed miserably. Instead of being the caretaker and caregiver, man has become a self-server and ultimately the destroyer of that which he is charged to care for, simply because he has lost his sense of priorities and misunderstood his appointed calling by his Maker. For the religious, the purpose of being here is to live for the afterlife, to live in such a way that when he dies, he enters the Kingdom of Heaven, regardless of having left behind a mess of a planet spiraling out of control due to neglect and wanton disregard for checks and balances. Instead of being the cure and caregiver, man has become the very cancerous virus that is slowly but surely destroying his own habitat—his home.  

   

I am an Artist-- after 70 years.

I have almost completed five acrylic paintings, 3'x3'  and two on a 3x4 feet in size, except for the final touches on each which will happen as i move along with my 2019 project and that being getting some new updated works ready for my solo exhibition at the Sri Mutiara Art Gallery or better known among locals as Soo Kaw's place. What used to be the Rope Walk area at Aceh Street kitty corner from what today is a beautiful well kept park is where the gallery is located. It is one of the most respected gallery in Georgetown, run by an artist and one time Art teacher, Mr. Khaw Soo Kaw. One of the most passionate artist and Art lover who has dedicated his life to Art. I am honored to have been given a slot to show my works in August  and the opening day being on the 11th, of August a day before my 70th.Birthday, the same day of Aidl Adzha or Hari Raya Haji. 

With the help of Mr. lebeene Khai's sponsorship in the purchasing of new art materials I am able to have twenty pre-mounted canvasses and panting materials. Lee Has always been my patron and i am indebted to his patronage. This exhibition is dedicated to my close friend and brother who trust and believe in me. I am privileged to have a close friendship with his family. I met Lee one afternoon at the Penang Little Street Market where he ended buying a few pieces of my mono-prints and our friendship grew from there. I have promised Lee who is today the Chairman of the Penang State Art Gallery that I would donate all my Sketch Books to the Gallery if they would accept them. I this way I know these works of mine will be well cared for and might be a source of aid to those interested to know aht an art's life is all about at least for one artist. And so, in this year of the Pig I will 'Pig-Out!' with as much paintings as I can.

It is my hope that this year will bring some creative energy that will carry me through to the end. I owe it to many and especially to myself to walk my talk or my Blog and share the best of what my mind is capable of. This is my Art, the Art of Living as an Artist. To quote Star Trek, "To boldly go where no man has gone before... to seek New Frontiers...yadaa yadda! Being an artist for me is more than just being able to be a masterly painter, or a master sculptor, it is about being able to tell a story about your life that others may share, to set your own standards in life even if they are contrary to the norm, to dare touch the forbidden and transgress the divine mandates; it is matter of testing all limits and write a conclusion coherently at the end of the day, where those that read can take lessons from them. I would like to leave a legacy of my own as an artist.

Good Bye Thay! (Rev. THich Nhat Hahn).

If you believe in it then it is as it should be and if you don't it is all up for grabs as nothing in this universe will materialize as you expect it to unless you have a greater input into making it happen. A strong believe backed up with a complete faith in yourself is the catalyst that can trigger a higher consciousness that transcends your normal perceptions, In a meditative state of consciousness one has to be able to surrender completely into the unknown or the subconscious mind where there is stored the vast database of information of your past present and future that can only be accessed by a mind that is completely free from any form of inhibitions. No fear nor doubts, no assumptions nor precognitions not an iota of a sense of  a preconceived idea or conditioning. One is like a tabula rasa or a clean slate ready to receive information as they are conjured from the depth of the subconscious. With an immovable belief in your own free will, your own selfless self, you can tap into the vast reservoir of hidden wisdom within you at no cost, cause it is yours to begin with.

Thich Nhat Hahn, the 92 years old Vietnamese Buddhist monk is willing himself to die, true to the ways of the ancient ones of the Buddhist Chan or Zen tradition, This is not right, it is like committing suicide meditatively, like what the historical Buddha did when he sat under the Bo tree for 40 days not eating or drinking. The Buddha had an excuse and he was willing to die fulfilling his intention and that being to find out the way out of this cycle of life death and rebirth, this Samsaric existence. Thay as he is more popularly known has no valid excuse to die other than as a proof that it can be done, that is to fully conscious of the moment of death; it is not an impossibility as many Thai Buddhist monks has been known to accomplish this feat. 

At a Buddhist temple outside Hue, Vietnam’s onetime capital, 92-year-old Thich Nhat Hanh has come to quietly “transition,” as his disciples put it. The ailing celebrity monk—quoted by Presidents and hailed by Oprah Winfrey as “one of the most influential spiritual leaders of our times”—is refusing medication prescribed after a stroke in 2014. He lies in a villa in the grounds of the 19th century Tu Hieu Pagoda, awaiting liberation from the cyclical nature of existence.

Karma

Buddhists regard death as a transition. The deceased person will be reborn to a new life, whose quality will be the result of their karma.

This produces two problems. We don't know what the next life is going to be like. If the next life is going to be even worse than the life that the sick person is presently enduring it would clearly be wrong on a utilitarian basis to permit euthanasia, as that shortens the present bad state of affairs in favour of an even worse one.

The second problem is that shortening life interferes with the working out of karma, and alters the karmic balance resulting from the shortened life.

I had the privilege of doing two Vipassana Retreats at Green Gulch Farm Zen Buddhist Center led by Thay who on one occasion decided to elect me as his 'Bell master' as he called it. This was as a 'punishment' for my ringing the large bell outside the Zendo while the rest of the community was meditating in the meditation hall. It is a story i might have related in my sometime in the past as to why i was ringing the big bell instead of sitting along with the others like I was supposed to. It did not got me into trouble as I had anticipated, instead I was made a 'Bell master', my job was to hit the bell at Thay's lecture every fifteen minutes as a pause where everyone would take a deep breath before continuing with the lecture.

I have a whole lot of love and respect for this small Vietnamese monk who can move others simply by being himself. No pretensions, no self aggrandizement despite his fame as a Spiritual Leader known to many around the world. I will miss him when he departs from this life and I will always remember his words for me when i was alone with him for a private talk, "Be yourself, you are doing just fine as you are."  This entry is dedicated to a great soul who had at one time touched my heart and made me appreciate better of who I am. It was an honor to have walked with him from the green Gulch Zendo all the way down through the fields to the Pacific Ocean at Muir Beach. May you become a Buddha in your next life or return as a Bodhisattva yet to lead more of us towards awakening and liberation. The world will loose a great soul with gentle and soft voice that had taught humanity about Loving Kindness and Compassion. 

 

The rambling just keeps you alive and awake..

And what good have i done today that is worth to ponder upon as a justification for my very existence on this Planet and the answer to that is that I did not do anything bad that would warrant any form of punishment, well not that i can think of or know about. I always thought that, if you cannot help me make it through the day, at least try not to stand in my way for no good reason. And the mind goes on like this off and on until I manage to shut it down for a few minutes through meditation When the mind comes to a rest, there you find silence and peacefulness and if you are, in this tranquil state of mind you might find yourself seeing new or fresh thoughts arising from the depth of your consciousness or as some might say from your subconscious mind, only this happens while you are consciously aware, like you are watching these thoughts arising out of the blue. Most of the time, these thoughts are positive in nature and some even divine or spiritual in nature,   the divine matrix as some would suggest and they make you feel elated and there is a sense of satisfaction and gratefulness. This sometimes even makes you want to say thank you to whatever you feel is responsible for your experiencing these feelings; you pray to your Maker.

These raptures do not last long and usually it is because you cannot hold on to this state of tranquility or transcendent for too long due to factors beyond your control, such as bad backs or getting sabotaged by mental formations that are egoistic in nature. Religiously, you would say that you are being dislodged from your meditative state by whisperings of the demons or devils, the children of Mara, that does not like to see you making any headway towards enlightenment. But if you persist and maintain your quietude and rest upon the silence state, just watching what comes and goes you might catch a glimpse of reality as it truly is and realize that there is nothing to it or perhaps everything that it is. Either way, your mind is put on hold or goes through a shift of gear and you have an insight or an intuition into whatever it is that has been nagging at you. Whether you did good or bad for the day does not really makes much difference after all as it is all a perception and if you believe in what you perceive, it materializes 
sooner or later as a reality if you don't well it is still just a perception that is like just a cloud passing by appearing and disappearing in the vast consciousness of your true nature. And it is 3;00 am. The witching hour, time to sit and perhaps fall asleep.   

Bruce LIpton's - Epigenetic Control

After joining the Gregg Braden and Bruce Lipton's Group on fb I came upon Bruce Lipton's talk on You Tube entitled "The Biology of Belief" (full lecture). Upon listening to this lecture I realized that what he was talking about has been what my mind has been suggesting all along, only am not able to lay it all out scientifically. Yes, listen to this man if you get a chance and you will have good idea of where i am coming from over the years as my Blogging would testify. All the ideas and spiritual practices that i have been accumulating and putting to practice for myself, from various forms of meditation to daily mental observations of how my mind functions and how my body reacts and so forth, my auto suggestion techniques and experimental take on life has been aimed with the same intention at taking charge of my mental and biological state and not allowing for the external environment and circumstances dictates. I am the master of my own destiny as I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness, my body speech and mind and the rest of it. This has been my mantra for years and today as i listen to scientific talks related to this subject I feel like I have been on the right track all along, for what it is worth.

If I live fruitfully to be a hundred I would be grateful but if i die tomorrow i would be happy too, as I have always said to myself often enough: I have lived life, the best and the worse. It is four in the morning right now and here I am writing this to who knows who out there and for what? If by chance my writing this touches someone's heart and mind in some positive way I am happy if not I am still happy cause I have been able to share my thoughts with myself. It is said that everytime you express your thoughts and feelings you are telling your own story and if it is the truth you are made to become stronger in character if it is a lie then you learn to make amends and mend your ways. It is also said that he who justifies does not convince, not even to himself, this is not a justification at least not anymore, don't need to anymore, I am as I am, don't need to be any less or more than who I already am. I don't need nor am i looking for any approvals to being any different than who I have evolved to become albeit from family relatives or friends. 

"You control the genes, the genes does not control you!" Bruce Lipton's revelation in his lecture is a breath of fresh air for me as it confirms my belief that I am the master, ( of my body speech and mind). The science of Epigenetic Control- control above the gene- Perception controls the signal and signal controls the genetic change. "You are not a victim of your genes because you control your genes." Recent discoveries says that DNA is not your identity.
"If you look for the disease you can create the disease through Epigenetics." - Gregg Baden.
" Perception controls genes and you change your perception you can change the readings of your genes." 
Perception controls Behaviour.
Perception controls Genes,
Perception rewrites Genes.
Perception controls Biology.
Perception is fallible,
Belief controls Biology,
What you belief creates your life. inside and out."

The gist of what i could follow of Lipton's lecture and even this much I has triggered a great relief in my own belief and understanding of my own take on life. 

The Renaissance Mind.

Am not writing much as there is not much to write about with regard to my spiritual growth or any worthwhile development towards my personal self discovery. I feel like I have arrived at an impasse, a situation where progress is impossible due to no particular excuse but just a lack of determination or passion towards demanding for an answer. Laziness of the mind and spirit if one is looking for an excuse, perhaps, but may not be necessarily so, perhaps it is as it should be, nothing is required to act upon. It is just letting it be for the moment in time just as the land is needed to be left alone to recover itself after a harvest. These are what I observe as what is happening to me in my inner engineering, my self awareness study; what is there to write about other than noting down what is and what is. is as it is and that is fine too.

I am also keeping my mind busy on painting 3x3 feet and 3x4 feet acrylic paintings which I have started to work on in last two weeks or so. There are 20 pieces of canvass to work with and  hopefully by August of this year I will have some works ready for my solo exhibition a the Seni Mutiara Gallery as planned. I am working on my number four painting which is still in the process of completion. I have come to realize that in the past i have always been impatient while working on my paintings, however now I am taking my time giving each painting a more careful study and better in executing the technique and medium. Perhaps it is a part of growing old where things kind of slow down just like eating more slowly and with awareness as to the nature of the food and so forth. Everything you do comes to a slow motion or so it seems and incidentally you learn to appreciated better certain things that in the past you had tended to rush through without much notice of what is going on.

“From the age of 6 I had a mania for drawing the shapes of things. When I was 50 I had published a universe of designs. But all I have done before the the age of 70 is not worth bothering with. At 75 I'll have learned something of the pattern of nature, of animals, of plants, of trees, birds, fish and insects. When I am 80 you will see real progress. At 90 I shall have cut my way deeply into the mystery of life itself. At 100, I shall be a marvelous artist. At 110, everything I create; a dot, a line, will jump to life as never before. To all of you who are going to live as long as I do, I promise to keep my word. I am writing this in my old age. I used to call myself Hokusai, but today I sign my self 'The Old Man Mad About Drawing.”
― Hokusai Katsushika

This quote from one of my favorite artist in history has always been a guiding rule for me that I may not be the greatest artist in this life but I sure as hell am going to do better as I get older. I hope to leave behind me a legacy of paintings worth framing and hanging on walls in homes and galleries. I am bound and determined to be more creative and productive than ever before. I do not care what others have accomplished be they better or worse off than I am, but I will produce works that will reflect a life dedicated to what it is to be an artist, to live life as an artist and not just a craftsman. I envision that someday when I am no more around, it will be said of me that, " He had lived the life of an artist, a true renaissance  man."

     

Where does the word God came from?

Creation is God's general revelation, but Jesus Christ is God's personal message to us. In Greek philosophy, the concept behind the Word (Logos) is the divine principle that permeates an oruse of the derly universe. In the Old Testament, the Word carries the idea of active power. God spoke the universe into being.Mar 3, 2014

And the word God, where does it originates from? Is there ever uttered in the Torah, Zabur or The Bible, the word God? Yahweh, Elohim, Adonai, yes but the word God where did it originated from?

A brief Wikipedia search on the origin of the word 'god' reveals the following: The earliest written form of the Germanic word god comes from the 6th century Christian Codex Argenteus. The English word itself is derived from the Proto-Germanic * ǥuđan.Jul 11, 2012

In other words the word God never existed in the Hebrew Christian texts in any form but was a later addition through the adaptation of the Germanic word 'gudan'. Ironic enough, the word in its mirror image spells Dog, but that's purely a technical observation for a sick if not blasphemous sense of humor. For how long has the word God been used by Christians to replace the Jewish words for The Creator of the Universe? How did it happen? Are Christian theologians throughout history of Christianity contented to used this word to refer to the Maker when in conversation or delivering a sermon to the masses?

Please help enlightened this ignorant mind to understand this basic truth about this fundamental most uttered word. God in Christianity. 

I am Whole-Complete and Perfect.- as I am.

As I watched another year slipped by I realized that it has all really been pretty much the same as far as my own status is concerned; I have done and remained pretty much who I have been all these years. I still bear the same faults and guilt, fear and foreboding, the feeling of small victories and accomplishments, measuring myself up against the successes of others in the course of their lives compared to mine and often enough cowering in low self esteem when having to depend on others for my own survival. This is life! This is what it is to have lived and learned all there is to learn, practice all there is to practice and still end up with a discontentment within? Perhaps it is in line with the teachings of Gautama, the Buddha who foresaw that life is inherently, suffering and that my being here in this moment in time is to discover for myself the key to unlocking this mystery of being liberated from this cycle of life-death and rebirth.

Woe unto him who underestimates the power of the human mind, his own as well that of others. If there is any lesson that I have come to learn and accept, is the truth about how my mind is capable of lifting me up to the greatest heights or smashing me down to a bottomless pit if I allow it to and yes, I am definitely not my mind as much as I am not my physical body. Both of these are my tools, my vehicles of expression, or existing upon this physical realm of existence just as the wisdom of the ancients has been pointing out from way back when. The sciences would say that it is all in gravitational pulls and vibrational waves and energy that forces the molecules of atoms to merge together to create a form in this universe of formlessness. The mind and body of ours are just part and parcel of eons of evolution and transmutation that has arrived at this state we are in and will continue on to evolve into states we are yet to become. Our mental and emotional and spiritual states are just the inner evolution of our genetic engineering which involves much more complex forces that science has yet to unravel its mysteries. So, till I am convinced factually of what it is that I am truly am or how come I am in this state of being and consciousness, I will abide by the rules that is holding together the fate of humanity as it is. Whether it is scientific or evolutionary laws or spiritual and religious dogmas, whether it is my mind alone or the combination of the minds of the entire human race that makes the world goes round, it is my intention to make the best out of all possibilities made available to me in the process of becoming a complete and wholesome person.  

They say it is going to be a Challenging 2019.

Another year slipped by and there is not much to say except I feel one year younger and feel more like a seven year old then a seventy. Where have it all gone, those seventy odd years having disappeared into the horizon like the Star Wars story lines at the beginning of the movies, "In a Galaxy, far, far away!" For Malaysia 2018 has been a year of change, of reorganization and repair of the damages left behind by the former government; it was a year that will go down in her history as a year that the people's power brought down a corrupt system. For the world it has been a year of soul searching as the killings and brutalities in many countries continues and the climate change that has wrecked havoc in many areas. is till a worrisome issue yet to be fully acknowledged and addressed; humanity is living in denial as we head for a nuclear holocaust. However all is not lost, we are making a whole lot of progress and improvement in many fields especially in our effort to escape to galaxies far far away from this Planet of ours.

Millions if not billions are spent, so it is said, in R&R for space exploration on account that we will need a new environment to work ourselves into a feeding frenzy and set it on yet another destructive course, just like the one we are on. It is all excuses off course for the rich to have a hobby and the technocrats to have something to work on. but none the less we as a specie are still lost in a limbo of our self made crap no knowing that we are taken for a ride all along. It is said that the whole world's human population can all be placed into the state of Alaska and there would still be room to spare, but we are tolf we are running out of space to live as a specie and we believe it hook, line and sinker. So what would 2019 have in store for us the minions? We have to find ways and means to awaken the rest of the population on this Planet from the illusion that we are made to believe to be reality as it is, we need to unshackle our minds from the bondas of ignorance from having been conditioned all these years. The more people are set free from the delusion that we are bred into like cattle all primed for the slaughter house. 

I have committed myself to a goal for 2019 and that is to have an solo exhibition in August at the Gallery Deni Mutiara, one of the more sought after galleries in Georgetown. The date for the  launching has been sst to on the 11th. of August, a day before my 70th. birthday which happens to fall on the auspicious date of the MUslim calendar for Eid Mubarak. So I am looking at producing at least twenty decent new works for the occasion. I also got my financial sponsor in getting the art materials through my friend and art collector Mr. LeeKhai who practically gave me  blank cheque to get what i would need. In essence 2019 will be focussed on Art primarily to get the best of what I have in me for perhaps what might be my final show. It is a challenge to look forward to. But what man propose God disposes as the saying goes, anything can happen from now on; it is good to have a target none the less.

All in all, Have a Very Happy New Year to all those who have been following this Blog and ay your year too be as challenging.