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When in Doubt, Listen to the Drums

Sometimes the mind resists silence, sometimes the heart returns to it. Between distraction and remembrance, there is always rhythm — guiding us back to the One.

Returning to the Silence

I woke up around 2:15 this morning. Instead of drifting back into half-sleep, I sat up on the bed in quiet meditation. The silence of the hour invited zikr, and soon I found myself whispering prayers of forgiveness, mercy, and gratitude to the All-Mighty.

Afterward, I rose to make wudhu. On the way, I noticed the kitchen sink had been left a mess, so I cleaned it. Somehow that small act felt like part of the practice itself. With the sink shining again, I mixed my little tonic of honey, apple cider, and olive oil, and sat down with my earphones on, shamanic rhythms in the background, free at last from my son’s gentle snoring.

Now, here I am at the computer, sharing thoughts with my spiritual brother. And the thought came: how am I doing so far?

The Parasite of Thoughts

Even in my quiet moments — meditation, zikr, prayer — thoughts creep in. They slip into my awareness like parasites that refuse to give up. To rest in complete absorption still feels almost impossible. And in this aspect, I sometimes envy those who seem to sit so naturally in pure silence.

After nearly two years in a Zen monastery, you’d think I’d have it covered. But no — the mind still does what the mind does. Perhaps that’s the point: we never “conquer” it once and for all. We learn to walk with it.

Gentle Discoveries Along the Way

So I remind myself of what I already know but often forget:

• Thoughts are like weather: they come and go, while I remain the sky.

• Label them gently — “thinking, planning, remembering” — and let them float by.

• Anchor the zikr to the breath, letting rhythm and body carry me deeper.

• If a thought refuses to leave, let it live its short life like a wave rising and falling.

• Sometimes I place it in a box, promising to return later with pen and paper.

These are not new lessons, but rediscoveries. Each time I stumble on them again, they feel fresh, as though the path keeps revealing itself in small steps rather than in one grand revelation.

The Hidden Ingredient

And yet, there’s one ingredient without which all this becomes heavy, almost like making meditation into a cancer case: enjoy the moment, no matter what.

Yes, the mind chatters. Yes, the sink fills with dishes. Yes, my son snores in rhythm. And yes, sometimes I lose the thread of prayer. But here I am, alive in this moment, able to sit, to breathe, to bow my head in gratitude. That, in itself, is an accomplishment.

Step by Step

So I keep walking — step by step, breath by breath, zikr by zikr. Not chasing perfection, but welcoming each return as a victory. The path is not about silencing every thought forever. It is about remembering, over and over again, the One who is always here.

And perhaps, if I can smile even at my distractions, then the journey itself becomes the destination.

A Verse of Gratitude

Alhamdulillah for the breath that returns,
for the silence between thoughts,
for the chance to bow in remembrance.
Even in distraction, You are here —
And in each return, You are nearer.

#Meditation #Zikr #Gratitude #SufiPath #ZenAndIslam #ReturningToSilence #SpiritualJourney #Mindfulness #Alhamdulillah