This Day of 9-10th. of the Fasting Month.

 

It's 8.30am and i am waiting for my daughter to get ready so I can drive her to work which has been one of my routine chore as she has only recently got her license to drive. She and her brother who works in the same office for the same employer starts work at Ten which makes driving a little easier as the traffic is less hectic. What is Karma Yoga? "Karma Yoga is also called Karma Marga, one of the four classical spiritual paths in Hinduism, one based on the Yoga of Action, to a karma Yogi, right action is a form of Prayer. "  Wikipedia. Hence it is imperative that one must have a routine, a series of chores that would keep one occupied mentally, physically and spiritually. The Japanese work ethics is pretty much wrapped around spirituality, from making the famous Katana blades to regular gardening, everything is tuned to perfection or perfect action. To most people these are trivial matters, work is work no two ways about it and nothing to attach to it in so far as spirituality or prayer is concern especially being employed by others and working to a time schedule. For so long as i do my job and punch the clock in and out on time, I am fine.

Trungpa Rinpoche, the flamboyant Tibetan Dharma Master introduced a form of meditation called, Meditation in Action whereby every action taken becomes a form of meditation. The Japanese Samurai warrior practiced this as part of their Code of Bushido 

'The Samurai were an elite caste of warriors in Japan with a military tradition that endured for several centuries. The Samurai first came to prominence during the Kamakura Period (1185-1333) and lasted until their official dissolution in 1879, when Japan began to favor modernization in its military. Apart from combat duties, many Samurai also held important government positions. The values of the Samurai were largely influenced by different strains of Eastern philosophy, such as Buddhism and Confucianism, and were centered upon loyalty, bravery, and tranquility of body and mind. '

According to Japan's most celebrated Samurai, Miyamoto Musashi, "the key to a warrior's success is strategy and discipline, not brute strength or innate talent."

Today most people are engrossed in killing time by being immersed into various 'roadside attractions' such as Tik Tok, Twitterr and Facebook, Netflix and You Tube and a host of other distractions and children are having problems of maintaining attention in schools while the teacher is teaching. The human mind it seems i slowly being infested with decadence at an early age thanks to advanced technology, the same technology that will further erode the human capacity to act and function with perfection with the introduction of Artificial Intelligence. The only form of action that seems to bring the human mind into focus is different forms of violence, which leads to suffering on local as well as global scale. The human mind is it seems being drained of its capability to think and act rationally with integrity and compassion. 

Matthew Hoh former USMC Captain/ State Dept. interview on the Daniel Davis Podcast entitled, United Nations is a Complete Failure, while a Gang of Fools and Mad Men Run Wild. elucidates my sentiment exactly about right actions in work ethics. I saw this video just after my last paragraph entry; Yes the Universe is manifesting my thoughts better than I can. I would fully recommend this interview to anyone who cares about what is transpiring in our global society today. 

     

The 8th. day of the Fasting Month.

 

                               Nothing like having a Sushi lunch at a Malay wedding in Kedah.

So, why have i become obsessed with keeping an ongoing Blog, why has writing become such a Zen practice for me. I write simply because i found something I truly love doing as part my ordinary day to life. Writing helps keeping me from boredom the number one killer. Then it helps me to master an art that I enjoy- reading. I enjoy story telling and so I write my stories, some fantasy some real life, some fiction and most simple truth about who I am. I keep repeating this to myself like a Mantra lest i forget my purpose in life at the moment which is in being her in the moment and being aware that my body aches all over and that there is a fool moon out tonight. Perhaps i am and will never be good at writing but at least I got my fingers dancing on the keyboard all night long if i care to. Why am I obsessed with writing this Blog? Perhaps you should stop reading it, the answer might not be so out there after all, no sir, not far out at all. On the other hand if you are interested enough to share what i write which is mostly about who i am or i think I am, it might be boring in itself. The Blog is mostly about me, the thinker, the one making up stories  to justify this or that in my day to day life. It is form of contemplation in motion, like walking meditation or it helps me keep my thoughts and actions for the day documented, coded, analyzed, scrutinized, dissected and filed away for eternity on the Internet. I can say I left me a legacy; My Life.

                                                 Yes, She's the Boss, I am the lucky one. Insha'Allah?

Memories are what we live by to fill our mind with continuity of thoughts so as not to freak out when the mind goes blank and it happens sometimes especially for those who make it a habit of emptying the mind for whatever reason. However if we have to look back and depend on memories why not let it be of those that are pleasant and positive ones. if you have to dwell upon old time stories try not to entertain horror shows and insane dramas, let these go, bury them or send them across the ocean never to return. If you have to remember the good times and bid farewell to the bad times with genuine feeling of letting bygone be bygone, no guilt, no regrets as shit happens.

On the 8th.day of Ramadan my biggest worry is how to keep the budget going for the rest of the month.

 

The 7th. Day of the Fasting Month - Jeyden Xavier

 

                                            Jaden, The little Maestro going wild with water!

Got a new assignment added to my regular routine and that be twice a week I help my daughter babysit a rug rat who might be autistic in nature. How do you deal with a three year old who does not speak much except repeat whatever you say to him? Anyway it's another added litmus test to my patience in dealing with others especially young children. Allah is the Tester and He is testing me through Jaden whose single Mom works and needed someone to take care of him and so I get to babysit him twice a week.

Jeyden is pretty confident with using colors, especially when it is mine! Seriously, this kid has got issues but underneath it all i can feel a powerhouse of creative energy or destructive force about  ready to be unleashed!. He needs love and care and attention ,the one way to get to him I feel  is through Art. He loves cats but Furby our cat hisses angrily when  Jaden approaches her and so I took to the Malay Fishermen's Jetty one day where cats litter the place like a cat heaven. Thanks to him last week it was the first time i got into the swimming pool downstairs. If there is anything that is stuck in his imagination it is Dinosaurs, like most kids Jaden carries a stuffed T Rex wherever he goes. 

Yes, on this seventh day of the Fasting Month I thought I'd let this kid into my Blog and see how he develops with his handicap. He brings back some memories of raising my own kids when they were his age, how much fun that was, Yikes! A fair warning to all fathers, your kids, they never grow up at least not until they get married and have kids of their own. I notice more and more these day Children are becoming victims of their parents' negligence and the influences of erratic environment they are forced to grow up in. Jeyden was turned away from a preschool entry and the reason being his hyper activeness as an excuse. I suggested that they send him off to the X-Men academy.

I cannot imagine what would become of the surviving children of Gaza when they grow up and may Allah have Mercy and shower His Divine Grace upon them to make their lives bearable as they grow old. 

Insha'Allah! Subhanallah, Walhamdullillah, Hulaillaha'illallah, HuAllahuAkhbar! 

And the Lord said unto the Pharoah, "Let My Children Go!"

Amen!

On this 6th. day of the Fasting Month.

 Hu...Allah! Hu Allah? Hu Allah!...

HoooAllahHooAllah with every intake Hu and out Allah and this is how I meditate on my breathing especially in times of doubts and confusion when my mind takes center stage and I feel like I am drifting, I take a deep breath , Hooo.. and let out a long slow breath Allahhhh. I do seriously practice this ever since it was taught to me by one of my mentors in the past. It helps me to stop drifting, stop tripping, stop 'writing songs that voices never heard.' It blesses me with a moment of Silence, Peace, It causes a shift in my consciousness from drifting to being here in the moment; fully anchored and fully surrendered , presenting my Dharma Position...this Who I am. Insha'Allah by His Will and Grace.

Hu or Huwa {Arabic; meaning "He"} is a personal name for God in Sufism. You can Google this for better understanding. I will leave at that and skip the details.

Sadhguru just had a brain surgery and my prayers goes out for his well being, up in no time, riding motorcycles and climbing Mount Kailash, His book , DEATH =An Inside Story sits on the chair next to  me and every time I glance at the cover he is giving me this i got my eyes on you look! A Brain surgery.  I bet he will have many stories to tell when he is back on stage. Speedy Recovery O Guruji! Namo Shiva Ya! 

The Malaysian Prime Minister DS. Anwar Ibrahim raised the patriotic flag in my heart when I watched the interview he had on German Television on the topic of Palestine. It could not have been laid out any better and thus far it was one of the most sensible and down to earth act of human decency to gamble his position and his country's position at risk in order to raise the flag of defiance against blind ignorance and the treatment of the Palestine in the hands of Israel. Today it is no more the problem of freedom of speech but  not speaking out loud enough. I am complicit in the tragic events unfolding in the Gaza and not to mention the whole of Palestine. I am just as much responsible as the next guy who call himself a human being, a father, a brother, a mother or a sister........

HoooALLah!Hooo and where was I? This sixth day of the fasting month, what's happening in Gaza? Instead of food they should start sending coffins and this I am sure the Israeli government will let through with no problem. I thought humanity had learn something from the Holocaust, apparently not! Have we learned anything from the Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq and countless other wars since? Why are we still taking pissing contest and saber rattling to stoke the flame of war between us like we are suicidal  maniacs who fail to see the ugliness of war even when it is being played right in front of our eyes. on screens large and small all over the world. How can we have become so corrupted in spirit that we can allow a brother commit such atrocities on another and turn a blind eye. When is enough is enough? 

Sadhguru jus had a brain surgery and from the video of it he seems ok and hope so la!

Watched the movie "RoadHouse" with the kids while Buka Puasa, breaking the fast.

                                                        The face that sank many ships

On the 5th. Day of Ramadan.

  For the Love of  Allah{SWT} Aza wa Jalla! Lord of Creations and Infinite Mercy and Compassion and The Lord is Great!

There is no God only Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.

I share these thoughts and experiences on this the 5th.day of Ramadan.

These are my Mantra when I sit and meditate or when I find myself thinking too much or impatient in the traffic while driving, or angry at my children for one reason or another, or worry too much about my toothache and migraine headaches or especially my shortness of breath, yes I hold on yo these thoughts to dispel any negative thought that is causing me into depression, or worse. And if this does not work I would take a nap, in sleep my mind is free to think and create stories all it wants and the end comes when the body has had enough, its time to wake up and face what comes next to the mind; food! What am I going to make for Iftar or the breaking of the fast? The awaken mental state that deals with the day to day affairs comes alive and takes over and the cycle begins again. This is the cause of human suffering, being stuck in ignorance, stagnated by lack of passion to learn to know to realize the true nature of one's own beingness. Absolute Ignorance is Bliss, it is said, however, partial ignorance is a curse of the Gods! I am given a mind to think, to figure out to question and to answer, to deduce and deduct, to know what is and what is not and not other creature on this planet is given this faculty to be elected caretaker of this planet, to proudly claim and become sons of Adam {AIS}; the son of Man.

In dreams anything is possible and in dreams i can be the witness or the actor, the good guy or the bad,  In my childhood days I used to visualize who or what i want to be in my dream just before i fall asleep and in those being a cowboy and riding horses was my big time favorite, I even wrote the script in my mind and there is romance snug in there somewhere and I always love to dream of flying and I flew allot in my dreams, I even remember teaching myself the art of flying like how to off and how to maneuver in the air. One of the most vivid dream of flying I had was I found myself flying over the bay in the San Francisco Bay with the Golden Gate below me on one side and the Alcatraz on the other. I found myself clinging on to a marble pillar larger than the one in the Temple of Zeus and there I was slipping but not quite all the way, after all it was a dream and what was I to do? I just let go and dropped into the misty fog of the Bay and woke up. 

         

Rambling on the 4th day of Ramadan.

 

                                      Just joined the Debonair Club of  Gergetown, Penang.

"Where do I begin, to tell a story of how good a love can be,

The sweet Love story that is older than the Sea,

Where do I start?" 

Such Is! Help is all around us and all it takes is for us to knock; we are never alone. Trust and believe in this wholeheartedly and with genuine faith as you trust in your God. All we need to do is to stay awake free from mental chattering as much as possible or better yet silence your mind one way or another and you will find the answer or it will come to you, Insha'Allah! I ask time and again of my Lord, how do I free myself from my nafs [u}, my ego and the answer i got is that I have to step by step, moment to moment, breath to breath, there is not shortcut. With Patience  and Perseverance, with humility and dignity and with infinite Love and Compassion, You surrender yourself towards His Grace, His Redha, His Contentment with the path you have chosen or the path chosen for you in this life, when I say you I mean me, I am talking to me. As I get deeper into this practice I find myself stepping into deeper shit holes like I am more uncertain with myself than I have ever been! I am 75 for God's sakes! The house is saying farewell and the grave is waving welcome as the Malay saying goes,"Rumah kata pi, kubok kata mai!" Yes I do realize the fact that it could happen at any time for I can feel it in my bones and in my heart. I sat outside in my garden contemplating this whole issue that is going on within me and without and how I am coping with the physical pains like the nagging toothache and the migraine and the hernia and the rash between my legs, and more seriously perhaps the shortness of breath! Yes, I sat out there telling myself to cry but the tears have long dried up for a long time now and the first word that came to mind was Peace! Out of the blue, Peace! I felt peaceful, I felt blissful as I felt the plants around me and my body in pain all over. I started breathing and felt all the pain drop away one by one back into the void of my consciousness, I felt free on this the fourth day of the Fasting Month.

The lyric above from one of my favorite song stuck in my mind ever since I saw the movie "LOVE STORY." Life is a love story that is told straight from the heart from moment to moment from breath to breath and it's "A Never Ending Story!" another one of my favorite movie when growing up. Lessons comes in many forms and from all directions if you are aware and so does ignorance. Wise words but there is no doubt help in your life, blessings and saving graces, you just have to be present to receive them and what is more important is that you are humble enough to ask for help even to the Highest Giver of Help. His Mercy and Grace encompasses all dimensions and is readily available for the asking. Being thankful, grateful and contented is our way of receiving this help, Alhamdullilah! Praise be to Allah, as the Muslin often utters upon receiving anything and some even when they receive bad news. Bad news carries good medicine for healing a drifting mind, it's the stick that woke up the sleepy monk.

SO! Step by step, inch by inch I am crawling my way towards the Throne of my Lord, towards Liberation and Peace, Insha'Allah. Along the climb I am unloading all my ancient twisted Karma, from beginningless time, Greed Hate and Ignorance, Born through body, speech and mind; my carnal and cardinal sins. The baggage that i have been carrying on my back like a camel and wandering in the desert looking for water when water has been there on my back all along. Whenever I entered the Zendo or meditation to sit I would put aside my baggage by the door where I leave my zoris, i will pick them up when I am done with my Zazen. It did not make it any easier and for forty five minutes I would be struggling with chattering or monkey mind popping up one after another drawing my attention to them like a fly attracted to a pile of cow dung. However there were moments when it all comes to a standstill and the silence is deafening and you are where you want to be and it is Blissful. It all makes sense and it is all as it should be, wide and empty sky no white or dark clouds hanging by. It hits you with the flash of a lightning and then gone and you find yourself back in this sack of bones.

And the fasting must go onnnn...      

Fourth Day of Fasting.

 

BismillahiRahman niRahim.  I say this under my breath or within my heart every time I open the car door and I repeat again as I insert the key into the ignition and again as I turn on the engine. I keep saying it at every moment when I hesitate or find my mind drifting from my driving. I do the same when sit to make and entry into my Blog, I believe I am watched over and protected by doing this and at the very least I am reminded of my God. That without His Will I have no will at all, without His Love and Compassion I would have long succumbed to self destruction. Noe I fully understand the significance of simply remembering God and His Glory whenever I think too much of myself and how blessed I am for He could have wrote me off for Gaza in this life or even in the slums of Mumbai. Alhamdullilah, another phrase or word that comes naturally to my lips whenever receiving good news or receiving a gift, AlHamdullilah, than you in the name of Allah }SWT} Yes, being grateful and thankful for all that is given in this life from day one till now is paramount in my practice. Harigatogozaimas!, Mucho Gracias! Terima kasih! Rumbu Nandri! Danke!, they all mean the same, but Alhamdullilah is special for Allah only. After you have uttered it quite often enough it comes out naturally and spontaneously thank you are thanking God for every thing you receive, Allah is the Giver and the Receiver and there is none who gives or receives save Allah AzawaJalla. I cannot and will never claim myself to be a devout or good Muslim and my knowledge of Islam is more by chance or experience, however after a long search and through many different religions and spiritual practices I say again to myself that "There is no god; only Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger." 

Often times I forget even Bismillah...that's how great a Muslim I am. Such is! All I know is I do not exist except for the Grace of the All Mighty, His Love and Compassion and I feel safe inside and outside. I surrender my whole lock stock and barrel to Him and I know I will return to Him at the end of my days. I know i am destined to play my role as He had wanted it in the Book of Life and not one breath of mine belongs to me; I know how fragile I am in His Prescence. I realize my sins and transgressions in my life and only His Mercy is my hope. I know I am justifying to myself every word I say and I know I am not convincing myself no matter what excuse i come up with. "For as long as there is and 'I', the Buddha is said to have said, life is suffering." No I no suffering. I as someone once wrote, am a splintered soul that is in need of a serious spiritual healing; how to save my soul? How to mend a broken heart? Who is asking? The Buddha wears the Noble Silence and the Half Smile mudra when asked about God or even the afterlife, He had no answer and few will hear it if they are aware and awakened and in the Zen Buddhist tradition it is called Direct Transmission. The Buddha is my Teacher, my Guru, not my God. The Buddha is One of the Prophets sent to heal humanity that was going into chaos. Hinduism during the time of the Buddha was becoming overly corrupted by the Priests. Human sacrifices and caste system cast a grim picture in Hinduism. The story of how the Buddha allowed Himself to be reborn again for the last time as a favor to humanity; He reincarnated as a Great Teacher. I was born and raised as a Buddhist for twelve years of my life before I was converted to Islam. The teachings and wisdom of the Buddha has always been my practice in life. It is with Buddha's Mindfulness that I say BismillahirRahman nir Rahim where I open the door to my car and then when I put the key in and then when I turn on the engine.

On this the fourth day of the fasting Month this has been what have been running through my mind as i went about my daily chores. And I have yet to try Hayawasca brew.

 

Fasting Day -3

 

I has been a long time since i truly listened to Kitaro's sound of music and it is at the moment such a pleasant feeling as i took a spoonful of tangy taste of the fresh passionfruit on my lounge, this is my mini-Satori and this being the Third day of the fasting Month, so far so good and I pray to the All Mighty that it stays this way or get better..."Hanya Allah dapat permudahkan tindak tandok kita, hanya kepercayaan dapt mewujudkannya." Only He can make life as easy for you and only your faith in Him can make this happen. The first time I listened to Kitatro was while driving home from somewhere with my brother in law, the late Syed Ahmad Syed Abdul Rahman and with his son eldest son Syed Faisal towards Kuala Terengganu sometime in 1981? I am writing this in detail for my benefit to see how far or how near i can remember of my past, what else is there to do to keep the mind occupied? I could be sitting outside wasting my mind away with imaginations and entertaining my ego till what began as a fantasy ending into a nightmare and then I would revert to God for forgiveness for having such vile thoughts and imaginations on this auspicious night of the Ramadan! Have you ever tasted  the sour, slippery and seedy taste of a passion fruit in your mouth while listening to the winding down of Kitaro's Matsuri.  

                                                               Its Firby! Yes, I love you too.

My friend Prof.Rusdi enjoying his bird Ms.Lolo being entertained by a Visitor to Kapas Island.

This being the Year of the Dragon, here's my dragon to you. The Naga, Lord of Infinite Wisdom.

Whenever I see a snake or images of a dragon it reminds me that I owe a karmic debt with the Naga tribe. I killed a cobra in a very cruel and merciless way by pouring hot boiling water on it when it was trapped under the refrigerator. It must have came in to take shelter from the rain as it was in the monsoon season. It must have crawled through the hole in the wall to let water out. I was about thirteen years old, not that it is an excuse, but this episode has haunted my mind till this day and I am still trying to find a way to atone and receive forgiveness for what I had done. My father who came home later was not happy with what I had done and I felt his concern was more than just taking a life and this was one of the few encounters I had with my father that also stuck in my mind. I remember him telling me that only a Mongoose can kill a Cobra. The devil again is in the details and I share this episode with myself bringing it out in the open as a confession, as part of my catharsis in the process of healing my soul. Perhaps I should look for help from my Hindu friends to perform a Naga pooja as suggested by Sadhguru in one of His Satsang.

Beyond The Lote Tree - Allah and the Cosmos is another video I just stumbled upon and completed watching the First Part. It is 3am. I have to figure out what to make for my son and I to eat for the 'saur' and watch the Liverpool vs. SpartaPrague? It will be a home game for Liverpool which won the first match in Prague. 5 - 1 Liverpool? Oh well climbing down the mountain is as hard climbing it when you are old. I have never knew of the existence of this Video till about half an hour ago, no reason to lie. It blew my mind to say the least. It brought my attention to a halt cause here I was being coached into what is Islam and being a Muslim is. I hate to use the cliche, but it is a revelation, not a rude but comforting awakening as to how much do I really know about Islam. But I have had a good grasp of what is being shared in the video, but not as detailed as I have a bad memory about numbers and dates, I simply know and accepted what is being written in the Holy Book even though I have not read it completely.. I am not proud of the fact that I never did try my best to at least read it completely once in my life time but this video i just watched sort of recapped everything neatly, the completion of another story, from the beginning to the end of this that we call life. When I first left Malaysia in 1774? One of the two books I had with was the Quran, {Yusof Ali} and the other was, "The Master Key' by Frank Haarnel, a book that belonged to my friend and mentor also by the name of Yusof Ali, he is popularly know as Cikgu Cop {Chop} Mawa. I am going on about Cikgu is because he was one of those who took me under his wings since my younger days growing up in Sungai Pinang. Later in my life he became my spiritual guide through Islam. He introduced me to the works of Sheikh Muhyiddin Ibn. Arabi and Sheikh Kadir Al Jalani and a few ways of Sufi art of Healing. Cikgu Yusof Ali helped me through a difficult time of my life. 

May Allah,{SHT} bless you and keep you among those He Loves. Alhamdullilah I am blessed to have been in your Prescence to learn from you a little more about myself.

My first view of Bassem Youssef's Standup Comedy. - Day 2 of the fasting Month.

                                 Beraih naik harga oi! Beras tempatan jadi beras lawatan .

                                  Grumbling about the rice cost that is rising in the country.

What happens when suddenly you wake up and realize that you are the writer of your own life, you are the Director and Producer of your own life? Could you have written it any better? How would you edit your life and at 75 there is a whole lot of editing to do. By Blogging I find I have been doing just that while making it a form of entertainment in itself. Something I had marveled at others who can write and make an impact on me by their profound and creative stories they tell; my homage to Enib Blyton, J.Steinbeck, Hemingway, Harold Robbins, and the rest of them that I had grown up with. If I am the screen writer of my own movie then these writers and many others, the likes of Richard Bach, Alan Watts, and on, these are my sources if information; they fed my imagination albeit in the negative or positive way. I identified myself with the heroes and the villains and emulate their characters sometimes to play a more exciting and challenging roles, Woe unto you if you are a voracious reader, you have the whole human psyche being presented before you and today at your very fingertips. Woe even more for you who has become addicted to reading and writing even if it is just to fill your empty spaces. The man who writes about himself, an Author who writes about himself is as they say, a very dangerous man. I read this somewhere and it has attached to my mind like a koan waiting to be unraveled. What is a koan? Please Google it.

What good is a Biography if there is no juicy stories in it, what good is it about writing how you tooth ache while dreaming about becoming a Buddha? As the script writer it is my intention to make the sory line as interesting and captivating as befitting the time. I write a story aimed at entertaining me and making sure that i am staying on the right track as to my story line, this is my intention. When someone ask me to, "Please tell me something about yourself." My answer has always been, "What is there to tell? or Have you got the time to truly listen? If not read my Blog." Yes it is very egoic, self deprecation and aggrandizement both at the same time, giving one a choice for an answer. ..who am I? Half the time I do not know it myself, I am just lost in the dark drifting from one moment to another aimlessly and there are times when i am shaken, aroused or given a kick in the ass and the whole world seems to awaken with  me. China was stagnant and infested with mental and spiritual ailments until came Chairman Mao Tse Tong and threw everything and everyone into the big wok and made a good stir fry out of the whole country. Today we have Super Power that can stand against the Imperialism of the West. And what has this got to do with writing my script on this second day of the fasting Month of Ramadan, you ask. 

I just stumbled upon "The dark side of making it on social media." - A Bassem Youssef You Tube stand up show at IB Followers Summit and am now fully brought down to a level of awareness in what I am talking about, a coincidence or is it an instant revelation, or  a karmic kick in the butt. This is the first video of his that I watched after being introduced by the Pierse Morgan Interview not too long ago. What struck me most was the fact that he kept on and on about the ego. "We are attached to Social Media because of our ego." I am guilty as charged, but hell what else is there to have fun with otherwise, every time I post a page I love to see the reaction I receive, it tells me there is someone who is interested enough to read what I have to write. If I were paid a penny for every hits or likes I would be doing very well financially, sadly enough I don't and there is no regret, it is as it should be. In this way I owe allegiance or commitment to no one and am free to write as I please. 

I wrote earlier about 'Suffering with no bitterness' as mentioned by my friend Dr. Peter O Yimbo and this is one example of a man who faces his trials and tribulations with a sense of humor and doing it in a big way. I have always maintained that for creativity to flourish there has to be a certain amount of ego involved, perhaps disguised as a form of passion instead of narcissisms. Turning anger and fear into a joke is one way to overcome my sense of self loath and promote my self worth. I am much larger than my ego but i still need my ego in order to arrive at being in harmony with what is around me. Neither above nor below, I place no man above or below me but as my equal or to be exact as me, as who I have projected myself to be in this plane of existent. I will keep on telling my story  for the sake of self satisfaction and self discovery, a part of my healing process. It is irrelevant if i get two or two thousand reads for my post it simply means that I am still writing. I am wasting my time at three in the morning picking my brains and enjoying and it is only the second day of the fasting month.

My thoughts goes out to the People of Palestine, may they be protected by the Grace of Allah. 

Day -1 of the Fasting Month.

                                                       

                                                      She is my Boss!
 

The first thing that comes to mind for a single parent dad like me is what do i prepare this morning so we can eat our 'Saur', I cannot find the right word for it in English. It is like the final or the first meal that ushers the fasting day after which no more food or sex or being cruel and inhuman or thinking of becoming  the leader of the pack, just abstain from all wrong thinking and doings and focus on the Lord thy God, Allah Azza wa Jalla, Lord of the Universe. You fast body, mind and soul when you do fast , its not just refraining eating and drinking, everyone knows that but it is important to keep reminding ourselves, lest we forget. This year we fast with the children of Gaza and the West bank and this year we hope the Fasting Month will cleanse more than just body and soul but also heals the Universal Human Ailments cause by the three poisons; that  of Greed, Hate and Ignorance. There is no religion or any belief systems and practices that is free from these three inflictions that humanity bears within each and every individual breathing on this planet. Collectively we export a great amount of negative vibes towards the  collective whole, we create wars and make X-rated videos, we cheat and lie all in the name of our personal survival and along the way we lost our humanity. I hope the Fasting Month can in some small way open up a new horizon of Hope and Mercy, LoVe and COMPASSION, attributes that are becoming rare and forgotten among the human race itself. I pray that Allah in His Infinite Mercy and Compassion will shed a Light upon this darkness that is slowly engulfing upon my consciousness and that of the rest of Humanity around me. Subahnallah!

This is the holiest month of the Muslim calendar where more than a billion Muslims all over the world will observe the ritual demands of this month as prescribed by the Holy Book. Out of twelve months in a year the Lord has asked us to put aside one month for R# R, for rejuvenation and recuperation for simply sitting and contemplating about who you are in relationship to your God. How purified is your soul to qualify its entry into the realm of the Spirit. Are you even aware that you have a soul and a spirit and that you are not just any random mutation of the elements that created you or that your Universe came in a Big Bang. Whatever package i have bought into, whatever path i have chosen from moment to moment of my existence, I know and feel the presence of Him to Whom I will return. To declare myself as an AtmaBrahman or The Supreme Liberated Consciousness, as the Hindu Advaitta Teachings would have it is still not within my grasp: I have yet to become absolutely free of my ego/ my shadow. This is the grand illusion that catch me in a bind as to how to about teachings and religions, I feel caught in a catch 22. Well I have got a whole month ahead of me to find things out and about myself at present. Life is written in the Loh Mahfuz according to Muslim believe, the Book of Life and nothing changes except for what is written, is your life in its entirety, but I don't know when you get to read it if ever. Just like the 'Forbidden Tree, The tree of Life. Eating the fruit from the tree of life cause a split in the human brain, left and right brain came into service. The consciousness of the 'I am" came into being, I am a man, she is a woman! Just another narrative of life from the Biblical perspective 

As Katagiri Roshi once said, "Stick to your self-healing as a Practice when you do Zen."

Insha'Allah! God Willing! I will do what it takes to find the cures to all my physio-psycho- spiritual well being as my main focus in my daily practice and especially  this holy month I hope I can remain strong and carryout this 'Sheshin' with gusto, spiritual or otherwise.

Insha'Alah! Subhanallah! WalHamdullilah! Hu -Laillaha'illalah! Allah -hu-Akhbar!

Happy Fasting to all My fellow Muslims all around the World.

"In this Living Book, God is the Divine Author."  ...23-2-2024, - Moojibaba.

I drifted from Toothache to San Francisco.

                                                  When was the last time you went grocery shopping?
 

Mind says, time to take a nap and body agrees. Ego says nope I do not have to take a nap now, not right now, I choose to be creative, enjoy doing what I enjoy doing and then after I really feel tired and sleepy, yes, not till then. Now i wish to allow my mind to ramble a bit, my crucial sadhana, my practice, my prayers and my meditation and share it worldwide; see if there are takers out there to join in this rambling about life, calling it, Zen and the Art of  Living. Off course you immediately ask , but what is Zen? You are caught!  Trapped! and form then onward you are on the Zen Train and you will learn as you go along with a genuine heart that really wants to know, What is Zen? It answers only to you and from you when you have arrived at self realization and it could happen right here right now! Wham it hits you and you are in la la land of spiritual bliss, with a dose of peace and harmony even it it were but for a few moments in time. This is Satori! This is the min-wake up calls one learn to install within if one is to maintain being fully functional as one age, this is the flash of lightning that enlighten the Universe: carpe diem! Seize the moment.

Zen is what happens not what had happen or what will happen. Zen is the art of effortlessness and with pure and genuine intention in being in the here and now, every movement is a form of meditation and this is also what is known as Wu Wei or inactive action, detached involvement or act with bare awareness... and so on that is in the Taoist teachings. Falling asleep is easy but waking up  and staying awake demands effort and how awake are you? How awake do you want to be, do you need to be? That pillow is calling me to the bed and I am still entertaining myself with these nonsense that I keep writing. Oh, Yeah! I admit I am enjoying it and tomorrow the Month of Ramadan Begins! Duh! A whole new dimension of Sadhana or practice happens! It is going to be a tough month like in the past and so I have to get myself in gear. Yes, nothing last forever and life goes no with or without you. A famous Zen saying that i like is, "Life is like a swing door, you push it in it swings in an out it swings out and if you stop, you are dead." Or something like that. You breath in, it swings in and you breath out it swings out and if you stop breathing game over. 

For as long as you can eat and fart, you know you are alive.

So Eat and taste it, Don't fart and waste it....a little Western Zen humor.

By the way I failed to share with you the fact that i am having a very bad tooth ache at this very moment when I am trying decide between taking a nap or keep on writing my post, yes, with a major toothache Zen or no Zen, I tell is a Bitch. On the other side of the coin, this what Zen Practice is, to me. It is awakening to one's innate potentials as a human being. Just about everyone you read today is trying to impart this age old advice to you and me. Some are more elaborate that others, however Zen is minimalism at its core - emptiness. Born into this world but not of it, the Way of Zen as i perceive it to be for me, is to seek and establish one's Dharma Position in this life - Who Am I? And thus the journey begins for you with this simple most primordial question as your companion hang from your neck. Zen in a nutshell is the embarking upon a sacred journey of self discovery even if one is told the self does not exist.

Right Understanding is the key to Zen Practice, I believe which leads to Right mindfulness and Right Meditation. One of my Zen Teachers, the late Dainin Katagiri Roshi whoe was the Abbot of the Minnesota Zen Community at the time asked me a question when we we had the one on one Teacher student interviews or Doan, he asked me," What is your original intention? {for practicing Zen}" and I replied, "To heal myself."  and he said, "Work on that." With the simple question and instruction he woke me up to a new level of looking at myself; I had a moment of Satori! A moment of silence and I believe my Zen spiritual practice became completely real for me...just another way of the way seeking mind, a white cloud in an empty blue sky...UNSUI, now here now gone, so is the nature of our thoughts. This is the steps we dance to do the boogie woogie to, this is the rhythm, the motion of each and every thought wave in the universe, you find yourself in an ocean of Peace or the Pacific Ocean, the ocean of Compassion and Unconditional Love for being who you are and towards others just as equally so. You sort of wake up to a reality that your mind has conceived throughout your life right from Day-1 till the D-Day. 

And the toothache just kicked in and a whole new dimension of pain is spread out from the nerve center  somewhere in the decayed tooth shooting searing pain to up and down my jaw brain into my brain. This is sometimes almost a sin to have to go through for any creature of God, this amount of physical torture the result of negligence is a form of sadistic torture for the young and old alike. The laws of karma sucks! Such Is! We can suffer life without becoming bitter, that was what my goof friend Dr. Peter OYimbo, a Chemist from Kenya  once said to me.  I told him what the Buddha had stated that life is suffering in His Four Noble Truths. Peter was the Chief Chemist at H and H Ship and Environmental Services where i was the Yard Superintendent for the Company. The Company was located at 220 China Basin, off 3rd. Street by the Shaughnessy Draw Bridge, across from Tik Tok Restaurant on 3rd. The longest job I ever held in my life was working for Hand H for six years. I lived my life in the San Francisco Bay Area for more than ten years and am proud to experience the Loma Prierta Earthquake of 1989. Yes the devil is in the details and I lost the trust and friendship through my bad performance of not making it to a farewell lunch that the Doctor had planned for us, he was leaving the company. On the same lunchtime I totally forgot and found myself had fallen asleep in the pickup truck under the overpass by the rail road tracks and next to the River. I fell asleep and lost a valuable friend...Good Bye Mr. Tibs as he was popularly known among my fellow Black Brothers working at 'The Pit'

I learned from a close friend an Iranian Lady who was the Doctor's  Lab Assistant who was like a sister to me that the Doctor thought I had betrayed him to his bosses, my bosses. It is sad but it was also meant to be as such for we had gained our mutual respects as professionals and colleagues beyond that there was nothing worth to be gained . Letting go is never easy but sometimes a necessity. So where ever you are Doctor  for the final time I say I am sorry to you and your beautiful wife. We shared some good moments . 

As of this morning, {3 am} the Fasting Month has begun, the Month of Ramadan is upon us.

Happy fasting to all Good Muslims around the World! 

Simply Rambling on ...has Life no Purpose?

 

Right Understanding is the first of the Buddha's precept of the Eightfold Path and it is more relevant in our lives today than ever before. Right Understanding, {RU} is the core teaching of the Historical Buddha Shakyamuni, or His Princely name, Siddharta Gautama. What is primarily taught in Buddhism is entwined in His Life Story, He realized and became Enlightened through severe practices in Yogic and other traditions to master His understanding of the physical and psychological nature of our huma being or being human. In essence the Buddha's teachings is about mastering the art of self enquiry or knowing your self, knowing that you are not the physical nor the emotional, you are not the Body nor Mind. Until you have discovered your true nature, The original Buddha Mind or Nature you will live this lives as in a dream, you are sleep walking through your time on earth. Self Discovery leads to Liberation of the Soul from the bondage and limitations of this physical realm. In discovering the truth and able to discriminate and discern between what is the Real and the Unreal, we are walking blindly from one hole into another. We ask ourselves what is the purpose of our lives and we find no adequate answer, no justification and no rational that can make sense out of the question about our Prescence here on this planet. Most human slumber through life doing what they can can in the name of survival and some took advantage of the ignorance of others to pursue more than their need, they become greedy, they yearn for more and would go to any length to secure this so called wealth that would ensure their happiness in life.

Right Understanding the key to the first step towards liberation and through RU we can lift all the veils of ignorance put upon us to hide us from our true nature, that we are much more than meets the eyes; we are potentially Enlightened Beings, we are Buddhas. our purpose in being born in the form and on this plane of time and space has an innate inherent value of becoming the best of who we truly are transcending beyond this life and the hereafter. The Buddha is said to have said the, "In this human form, waste no time, it is in this form that one has the potential to become Enlightened as a Buddha.." It is in this Form and Prescence that a mind can discover that truth that will set him free from the cycle of life , death and rebirth. Peace, Joy and Happiness will happen when the Mind has become free from delusions and limitations of the assumed personality our ego of who you think you are; an entity in pursuit of  the material comfort in the name of survival. Most of us are detached from our spiritual nature, our divine nature our Buddha Nature becoming attached to the false and the shadow, our negative darker nature that is our constant companion while in this life. Our intention has to be in letting go of our accumulated thoughts, our memories and our perceptions our dreams and imaginations; we need to unburden our consciousness deleting all irrelevant and redundant information from its data bank. This is why Buddhism  emphasizes on Dhyana or meditation, as in the Japanese Zen school of doing Zazen or sitting meditation. Yoga forms of meditation is worth learning and practicing if one is to learn to master the mental formations, the chattering and the ramblings.

It is my approach to life as one who is forever trying to clean up his acts, learning as i go along and knowing that i really know nothing at all where life is concern. But i like to keep on trucking as hopefully will come a time when I see the big picture of what it is all about and how far or near I am to fulfilling my role as a human being, created in the  image of God and endowed with a sense of free will, yadda, yadda, yadda! Who am I? This rambling mind, is it me? This body with aches and pain all over not to mention a tooth ache and a migraine, high blood pressure kind of head ache and i am typing these down for posterity...who am I? What am I? Who is asking the question and who is it that it is answering. Some may read into this behavior as being obsessed. I am not obsessed enough, not passionate enough now committed enough in my practice to come close to a complete and perfect enlightenment perhaps never in this round, but I do not give up hope and have great faith in teachings of the ancient and modern masters i have encountered through the media and books. I give my salutations to all those great minds whose thoughts have helped me to see better my way in some small way. I love to read and i read both fiction and non - fiction. I have an eclectic philosophical mind if i may call it that. My mind picks out the best of possibilities, of choices that would benefit me in my practice through reading ever since I can remember. Then came age of computer and the Internet, my reading shifted from books to videos when I wish to make sense out of non-sense. I watched and studied the great Teachers of India and China, of Tibet and Japan and the wise men of my own fellow Malaysians. For most of my life I have been blessed by Great Teachers whether when in the study of Buddhism, Islam or Christianity and i have the teaching of many Great Gurus and Rishis of India as I have often mentioned in my past postings. 

Who is asking? The question that should pop up in your mind whenever silly issues demands your intention, or who wants to know? Is it so critical to your well being to even pat attention to these incessant thoughts, questions and answers,  a never ending story with no right or wrong answer except silence. Silence of the lamb, a silence of a spiritual nature that freezes our moment in time and free our consciousness to absorb the event being played before you.

  "The greatest The Silence of the Lambs lesson is that it is so courageous to peer into our psyches and dare to share our authentic selves. Our truths don't kill us, our secrets do. They corrode our souls. It is a good thing that none of us need Hannibal Lecter to free us to speak our truths...30 Mar 2020" Cannot ascertain who or where the info originally from,.. source Internet.

We fear to face the truth about our true nature, we are afraid of giving up or letting go of this conditioned, limiting and corrupted part of our nature that we call our ego, our shadow, our tormentor and task master, a habitual often addicted personality to external stimuli and sucking in forms and images like a sponge, this is who we think we truly are for most of us. We fear the release of skeletons from the closet and dark secrets that had been haunting us from day one of this our life on this plane; we became slaves to our own self ignorance and inadvertently become slaves to others. Why? Who is asking? Why, simply because we have made no effort towards self liberation or even if we know of its concept and as human beings it is in our self interest and well being that we start to get to know better of who we truly are or what we are capable of, how far or how near, how big or how small and we come to realize how fragile we are. With this realization we seek self preservation and call it survival instinct and protect, develop and project this instinct into the outer world the more silence we are the more dangerous we become as we allow ourselves to be taken for a ride by our ego, the dARKER SIDE OF THE MOON. This slip of a typo error is worth to keep . How often in a day that you remind yourself, 'Hey, you got a dark side too you know!" Lest ye forget, the devil is sitting on your left shoulder while the angel sits on your right and any move you make is weighed in by these two positive and negative energies. 

So what has this got to do with Right Understanding of the Buddha's Way? The Buddha emphasizes the Middle Way to be the best way to handle this bind that we fins ourselves in, how to say enough is enough, how to know when is enough, how to avoid being sucked into other people's games and to remain free from attachments to external stimuli. To find the silent space within our hearts w need to completely let go of it, good or bad right or wrong, they are all concepts, all are repetitious conditioning that shrouded our consciousness with dark energy, the energy full of gravity and decay, we are product of Divine Light, we are light hence we strive for enlightenment for Moksha, for Liberation of body mind and spirit. This is our purpose of being alive. We serve and servitude towards others is our worship of God, Unconditional LOve is our worship of God, Infinite Boundless Compassion is our worship of God; we live to serve, God and all other creatures in our lives. How can one declare life has no purpose or meaning? Life has no meaning until you give it one.

Reflecting upon DEATH - An Inside Story by Sadghguru.

 

Salutations to the Guru...

Almost through reading Sadhguru's book DEATH - An Inside Story and it has been quite an enlightening read as far as death is concern. Sadhguru's flair for dramatics always strikes me in his talks and presentations has always seemed to me typical of the Indian character as sometimes pushing it overboard with slight exaggerations as in Hindi movies and news casts. If you watch the Indian version of the News on Gaza or the World news as presented by Gravitas an Indian News Channel you will feel that tension created to capture your attention by the presenter and usually the accompanying music score will make you feel like you are watching an action movie than watching a TV News. The pension for exaggeration and dramatics are an accepted trait for the non-Hindu Malaysians and having grown up among Hindus and having relatives who are Indians I have to agree with this perception. Sadhguru's book is no doubt full of information on the 'Art of death and Dying,' and is a great compendium for all who seek to understand the topic especially if they are Hindus or have a good grasp of Indian myths and lore or ancient traditional teachings inherent in India like the Vedas and the Upanishads. It is good for those more familiar with Hinduism and the Sanskrit literature that delivered the teachings. it is not for the Muslims or even the Buddhists mush less for the Jews as these other cultures and religions have their own version of Death and Dying scenarios. The Bardo Todol or the Tibetan Book of the Dead is an instructional manual for the person who had just died and it lasts for 49 days and the Muslims has the two angels Mungkar and Nakir waiting with their who is your God questions so you can be categorized as to your position in the after death state. All these differences will take a whole lot od doing and thinking to fit in with Sadhguru's teachings on death and I am highly doubtful that people today are much into seeking for answers when it comes to the spiritual subject like Death.

Today I find not too many people are into reading books anymore and much less reading about the nature of life and death or any spiritual or philosophical interests. Great teachers like J.Krishnamurti and Sadghguru themselves were the first to claim that they never read any scriptures or spiritual books, it is no their style. However they write books and it is good that others buy and read them as they deserve to be read for better to understand what these great minds are sharing for the better of humanity. It may not be appealing to all however if some can understand and grasp the meaning to their teachings it would help to make for a better world.  I have a slight prejudice against Indian Gurus, mystics or otherwise, they for me, tend to blow up things making it larger than life. Bhagavan Shri Rajneesh or later known as Osho created a big show that captured a larger audience but fell from grace in disgrace at the end of his life to name a few Gurus who made it a great show selling Hinduism to the West. No doubt there were and still are great masters whose words and teachings has reached many however with less fanfare and tour de force. This is one of the reasons why I have a great respect for the Great Sage of Arunachala- Bhagavan Shri Ramana Maharshi and The great Guru Nisargadata Maharaj and Neem Karoli Babaji and among others who had their teachings spread far and wide for them by those who sat their feet out of love without any advertisements and theatrics. These great Hindu Gurus never set out to save anyone but they ended up saving the world with their way of life and teachings.  

The Dalai Lama and the late reverend Thich Nhat Hahn are two great Buddhist minds whose works and teachings has touched the hearts of many regardless of their race, culture or religion without raising the ire of those whose religions they touched in the effort to foster goodwill and and unity among man. Again the devil is in the details, and i am not going to loose my sleep on the fact after watching a video on You Tube of Sadhguru making efforts to reach out to Muslims I don' think it had a positive outcome overall. Perhaps it is not his fault that his efforts in getting his message across is being hijacked by lesser sensitive and cognizant people who portray his effort as more of a chastisement and a challenge than a call for unity and understanding among religions. Instead of sending out peace messages the individual interjected clips of Muslims in the act of violence while relaying the message that Sadhguru was trying to send to Muslims. No man likes to be made to feel inferior especially not by someone who is not of the same faith or religion as he is.  

Sadhguru being a Mystic and so on, a man who can recount his past lives, a man who is hailed by the rich and poor alike in  India and abroad, who am i to pass any judgement on how or what he should do. But this is my Blog and I am a free man in my country to make my observations and voice my opinion if and when I see shit is about to happen and shit doe happen only sometimes when there too much shit one cannot tell where or who owns it. I am waiting to hear what he has to say about the suffering in Gaza or if he even is going to make an effort to provide some form of aid towards the starving children through the Isha Foundation, it would be nice, if Mother Theresa were still alive I have no doubt that she would have taken some form of action regardless of which side Modi stands in this catastrophe. However India has her own shit to shovel and taking on other country's issues might not be expedient especially when it involves Muslims. 

This is my sincere perceptions of what I see and hear, no disrespect or  negative emotional attack on the works and teachings of the Guru. 

What would the Buddha say of Gaza?

 When we have witnessed the unfolding of what constitute a genocide unfolding in Gaza, we get a very good taste of what death/dying is all about even if it is through reports and daily news unless we happen to be a heartless entity with no feelings whatsoever we hold in our hearts a sense of sorrow and sadness. What is happening in the Gaza Strip and Palestine as whole is frightening and needless to say unacceptable by the any standard of human dignity. No matter how jaded our take on life may be, no matter how rich or poor we are our lives are worth the cost of a bullet or the explosion of a drone sent to eliminate our existence by someone sitting in a dark room facing a computer whose only job is to cause misery to the lies of others simply on orders to do so. The powers that be today are men who has gained the world or so they assume and lost their souls; a lost soul will fear death when it takes them at the end of their days whether they are a believer or otherwise for there is no forgiveness for them especially from the Collective Human consciousness or the Supreme Being, or God, by what name it maybe called. Only demons and monsters are capable of carrying out the mass murdering of man women and children and for every demonic deed there is a divine retribution like it or not and none escapes the cries of thousands who believe and have faith in the Lord of Creation; the laws of karma is like a shadow to every evil act.

Every human being is complicit in what in what is happening to our fellow man whether we are directly involve or not in the atrocities being subjected to our fellow creatures albeit man or other sentient beings that suffers due to our greed, hate and ignorance. Thou shalt not kill is the first law handed down to Moses no matter the justification, a life is a life more precious than all the gold on the planet. When we have lost the Love of life itself what have we left to call ourselves as human beings? Even animals do not kill unless threatened or for the sake of survival in the form of food. Today not only in Palestine but many parts of the world man is killing his fellow man without remorse and with impunity as though there is no retribution to their actions. This is tantamount to self destruction as the human soul becomes blinded by the thirst for power  and domination over those they consider not worthy to live except as slaves and underdogs to be subjugated and forced towards extinction in the form of a genocide. We call ourselves as civilized beings, lovers of truth and beauty, or the arts and sciences while in essence we are becoming war mongers and lunatics and sycophants, a cannibalistic cancerous virous that eats up its own kind, just for few dollars more!

It is a sad, sad situation we are in today, but most of humanity continues to live in denial dismissing the agony and suffering of innocent children dying of hunger and starvation; what have we become in this 21st. Century?  What kind of legacy are we leaving behind for those of us old enough to understand what or where humanity is headed towards. Are we any better than the Mongol hordes or the Nazis, are we any better than the Huns or the Covid virus? No we are just as bad if not worse because we have the audacity to claim ourselves as being civilized. We claim ourselves to have come a very long way in the evolution of the soul and spirit, that we are closer to the divine spirit than we ever were and yet truth be told, humanity today have become more demonic in nature than our ancestors ever were and shall we blame it on the devil or are we actually carrying out the devil's work for him? I am glad I do not have any grandchildren to brag of thus far as I am not too positive in bringing into this life more beings to suffer the consequences of my own faults and failures. I am not proud of what I am leaving behind as a human being for my generation has failed humanity and I feel it is an insult for me to say that I have left behind a world of peace and harmony for those that will come after me. This life, this world is my own  projection my own self manifestation and I am responsible in making it such a terrible place to live in. The Buddha in his infinite wisdom had pointed out that life is suffering and that suffering is the outcome of desire and to overcome suffering one must understand desire; I have failed to understand desire and like me so has all of humanity. The Historical Buddha would have called what is transpiring today as a Collective Karmic Consequences.