I could go take a nap or I could sit and throw out more details of my life as I share it in the hope of perhaps sharing more than just swapping stories. A nap always sounds tempting but i try not to indulge my time in falling asleep helpful as it may be. So lets ramble on if you 're still with me. I am listening to the drums from the Cafe D Analtolia video the speakers next to me, it keeps my body moving. Those who knows what I am talking about will understand why I write as though there is no tomorrow about none other than myself...Who Am I? Is it an obsession? Is it being taken to deeply and somewhat seriously so much so that it becomes like the Zen Koan or Zen Mondo where the question is raised that demands an answer spontaneously or an answer that will be carried within you for the rest of your practice if not life. Like, "what is the sound of one hand clapping? Has dog Buddha nature? We will keep on asking questions about the nature of who we are or who we are not and where we fit in all these phenomena we call life and living? WallahuAlam! Only the Lord knows. However if we are not to fade off into the distant past or worse become incinerated by a Nuclear fusion explosion, we better be prepared at least with some answers in order to make sense out of all these non-sense.
I am very guilty of practicing regression, I take one step ahead and two backwards, it's in my nature sadly enough. Further more I am always in the habit of undermining myself by exposing negative or shadow side of my nature and what I do or say. My Ego is very much in control despite all my efforts to stow it away for eternity. Here lies my ego, my nafs, my shadow, the darker side of me; my ego is the reminder that I am fighting a jihad for the purification of my soul, the healing of a 'splintered soul. Ask and it shall be given, knock and it shall be open, and when it is open step willingly and embrace what is beyond. This primarily the way of zen, to enter the Gateless Gate of Consciousness itself. There is no set path to enlightenment, the Gateless Gate is a portal through which one is awakened through some force of nature or psychic energy one is transformed to higher level of awareness or consciousness, these 'spurts' of dynamic energy happens every time the mind is brought to an abrupt halt, total silence. Not even the shadow of a thinker or witness is present, then by the Grace of The Lord, transformation happens, awakening happens, enlightenment happens. The ego when remove completely out of the picture becomes defensive if not destructive towards what it felt as a threat. Not all can understand the concept of having an ego and eliminating the ego completely as it is a boring if not futile question to most of us. We get too lazy to think anymore much less to invite such abstruse topic such as these; I just have to keep on looking into what is there to be learned from these random ramblings or is it just a waste of my time...what is time.? Need I get into that? Nope I will Google it or refer to Google Bard it is all at my finger tips and I need is to be curious enough to want to find out.
What it takes to attain complete meditative state of mind; hot boiling oil and the crowd around.
I will only stop writing when my thinking mind has nothing to offer anymore in any form of thoughts, no mind no thinking, all empty of their own being, form is emptiness and emptiness is form... says it in the Heart Sutra of the Soto Zen tradition, being chanted daily in the Zendo after every sitting meditation practice. When I chanted this Sutra along with my fellow Zen Buddies in the Green Gulch, Green Dragon Zendo I often felt its strong impact of the sound and meaning of the Sutra chanted yo perfect harmony every now and then and when this happens one is transported into another dimension where one get in touch with the Higher Self, the Higher consciousness itself. A state bliss is experienced often or a lighter side of being is revealed in a moment in time, a moment shorter that the flash of a lightning in an empty sky. Par of the Zen meditation practice is to stay awake and aware when this shift in states of consciousness happens. In a flash of a lightning one grabs the entire secrets of the Universe and when its gone one is back cooking boiled potatoes in a temple in some far off Mount Haguro or on top of Mount Tamalpais in Marin Country looking for berries and mushrooms. Brief a moment as it may, the flash of the lightning has open a gate in your consciousness a portal, a Dharma Gate that stands before you inviting you to enter and on its head beam is written, " Know Thyself". Would jump into it before it is gone or will you sit and ponder what it all means and what the implications might be what is the right thing to do?' : Your life is lost. You have swallowed the hook, your mouth was opened and you were Greedy and now you are caught; what is the sound of one hand clapping?
A Line is cast in the Rapids,
The greedy is caught!
Soon as your mouth is open,
Your life is lost! -
I lost a cousin brother, a good man, an intelligent and honest man a well balance man, Mohammad Kalam a week ago now. How time flies and how soon we forget of those whose life we have touched and they have touched ours when they are no more with us.
from the Mumonkan or the Blue Cliff Records. " The Gateless Gate." are 48 Zen Koans. They are not entirely riddles nor are they trick questions they are simply to trigger your mind into awareness of its present moment state of beingness. A Koan is like someone pulling a chair off from under you just when you are about to sit with a plate of spicy hot bowl of rice noodles in your hand, you stop short or you drop to your butt with hot spicy rice noodles all over you! Not nice. Or you do not react but simply be present in the moment and allow for the consciousness play itself out. Letting go of existence itself there is no one sitting, falling or covered with hot spicy noodles, none! Sit and enjoy the noodles! If you believe otherwise it is at your own risk, the inevitable will happen; being present in the moment at all moments in time is the essence of Yogic practices of any schools and it is the essence of Zen Buddhist Meditation or Sitting Meditation or Zazen. The Sufi Twirling Dervishes, those Middle Eastern spinning in their long flowing skirts in complete ecstasy and bliss, their primary aim is the same; to attain complete at oneness with the Divine Nature that is our true Nature, God. We are just divine sparkles in the emptiness of Space and we are returning to where we come from to Whom we belong, we are returning to the source. From the day we draw in our first breath to the day we die we are on the homeward journey to unite with the One True Source of our Absolute and complete Consciousness itself; The I, the Self... Brahman, God, Yahweh, Elohim, Adonai, Allah, The Buddha, no matter what Name you give or cling to as your faith and complete surrender and submission to, this is the essence that you return to if you are fortunate in this cycle of Life, Death and Rebirth. This is where and when you play out your karmic retributions to find the balance between right and wrong, good and bad, to discover the middle path to navigate this ocean mental delusions that is of your own making. Remember that you are the Captain of this vessel, it is always your call, every decision, every choice, you make is your call; you are the master of your thoughts and consciousness as is said in the Raja Yoga.
I am mostly regurgitating my collective thoughts of past accumulations, of baggage filled with dreams and desires, experiences of good and the not so, basically I am letting it all hang loose for what have I got to loose! Letting go, spring cleaning, house keeping, call it what you may but it is a necessity that one is able to purify the body mind and soul as best one could. It is no big a deal if one simply desires to do so, take a good shower at least once a day, clean your butt real good after you defecate make sure to wash your hand even better after. This is basically the essence what the act of purification is. The rest are rituals that each and every religious faith has when it comes to spiritual purification. For five times a day the Muslim prays and for five times a day he washes himself accordingly, he performs what is called the Wudhu in Arabic, ablution in English.. If you wish to know better what it is try Google -Bard or Wikipedia. The cleansing of the soul is a whole lot more complex as the souls is enshrouded by some seventy odd years,{in my case} of accumulation of self ignorance and mental deformations; we most of us are lost souls seeking our way back home.
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