I Am, is certain - all else is empty.

I have been listening to two great Hindu Sages, Sri Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maha Raj both well regard and have many followers all over the world and both inspires me with an understanding beyond what i used to have of who I am. To go all the way of complete and perfect renunciation or giving up my whole being is something I caught a glimpse of but my heart pops and doubt and hesitation gripped me stopping me from making any rash decision that I might not be able to circumnavigate; I feel I am not yet home. I still need a crutch to hang on to for support in times of need. As much as I wish I can take on the practice as expounded by these two great sages, I must admit that i already am and have been doing so even before I stumbled upon their existence; I met these two Sages on You Tube, and their teachings have moved me off my  axis. The Sri Ramana's teachings is more subtle and gentle and persuasive but it is still me a tall order to carry out and not that i am not trying. This journey of self discovery started sometime in my childhood growing up raised both a Buddhist and Muslim at the same time for twelve years of my life. I was a privileged child and at the same time cursed with having to play hide and seek between two religions. I have told this too many times already, however the point is I told myself it is meant to be as The All Mighty has chosen this path for me, my straight path towards the Lord of Power. 

I cannot outright claim, " I and my Father am One, " I have not arrived at the level of the Saints' understanding and conviction although I have been awakened towards this journey at a very young age when one of my Malay Muslim friend called me a Kafir during my primary school years. I might have been about six or seven. Even as a child I felt the cut went deep into my heart and I feel it till today even as I am thinking about it; it liberated me from being a Muslim and spent more time with the Chinese boys who were mostly Buddhist. I do not feel any remorse or regret about how I had to make a religious choice at a very early age. 

In short my journey began when I decided to take my Lord to the task as He had been taking me and I went way out of any moral or religious control by a long shot. I became a very angry young man and I remember my Mantra was "Rabble without a cause." One might say I slipped into the dark side and lived life according to my will with no holes barred. It was not till I was in college in Wisconsin that my heart was opened as I was slipping into darkness very deeply, you name it I  did it except killing; I took my anger and set my life on fire with it...I set out on the road to find out. I looked for answers mostly out of curiosity and the need to read. I rediscovered myself in Green Bay, Wisconsin at UWGB. 

As the Rishis Sri Ramana and Nisargargaddata Maha Raj had opened the path towards self liberation through direct experience of the self and God is one is not easy to swallow and not because I hold their teachings to be not true but that I am a Muslim first and the rest are Ilmu or Knowledge  that comes your way if and when you are ready to hear it and come to you own conclusion if it is for you or that you might not be well equipped to handle the truth especially when you cannot handle your ego that gets in the way. I have to take slower steps towards my final destination. There is greater desire it is said than the desire to end desire, and desire is the cause of suffering. I need a God, a Divine Spirit, a Higher Consciousness, the Source, The Great Spirit, call It what you may, I call  my Lord by His Name in Islam; Allah Subhana huwaTaala! Lord of the Worlds.

I have been doing more than my share of religious hopping and spiritual window shopping and have found that I can live as a Muslim by faith and a Buddhist in practice. I have learned and understood   mush of the Buddha's teaching and I find it much suitable for me as it allows me the freedom to make choices and come to the conclusion for myself. I have to find the thread that links both religions as the Buddha's way is to attain total liberation from this realm of existence which is practically self annihilation. It is still a tough road to follow, but Buddhism deals with the mind more so than with faith and devotion. The Buddha was a "Poet of the Mind," a title given to Carl Jung for his works. Most of humanity are sick in the mind, like trapped rabbits we run around in the maze looking for that hole. 

The Zen saying, "Before Enlightenmant, cut wood and carry water.
After enlightenment, cut wood and carry water...nothing changes. The blue sky remains blue no matter clouds comes and goes. The small miracles that happens to you every moment are gifts from the Universe, the Source for you to continue performing your journey with greater ease towards the perfection of Spirit. To realize the Holy Spirit in you much purification and initiation has to be done. This ritual is only between you and your Maker, your sustain er, your Lord, your higher consciousness, for your soul has made a covenant with Him before you were sent into your mother's womb. "For I have created man and Jinn alike for nothing else but to worship Me," Worship Me, words that may not entirely explain the whole meaning of this declaration. What is worship to me simply means -servitude. I am a servant of my Master, Teacher, my Guru, my Mentor, my Saviour, my friend. I have been put on the face of this earth to serve Humanity and the Planet Itself in some small way the best I can. In Islam it is said that you are caretakers on this Planet unfortunately we are doing a very poor job about it.

In God's experiment with man we are not doing too good collectively or individually; we are failing to live up to the Divine intention inherent within our hearts. We have not been keeping our covenant with God and worship false idols such as Huwa Wei and McDonald Douglass, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, We have become attached to our external physical reality and lost in the pursuit of happiness.  I am here and being here i am part and parcel of this collective consciousness, however I am awaken to the reality of who I am and am and more detached from the external ephemeral existence but is still in action when it comes to carrying water and chopping wood. The world needs a healing and only you and i can do it through our collective intentions and compassionate hearts. We are put here not to just perform our daily prayers and observe the rituals but to serve wholeheartedly God's Creation, seen and unseen, in the water on land and in the air, we are the legal guardians.