Sometimes i feel like i have found the way or the solution but it is never lasting then I am back into the game thinking my way through existence, judging, analyzing, pondering, assessing and processing and sooner or later leading on to worrying and loss of confidence in my daily pursuits. I ask myself time and again how do I manage this thought processes that are becoming a major stumbling block to every move i make from the moment i wake up to the moment i fall asleep, which is still not a guarantee that i am free from it. The reason i am back to this subject is not because i am running out of tales to spin or ramble on but because it is becoming a cause for concern at my age having crossed over the hump of life.
As I look at life spinning around me i feel naked and often helpless still clinging to outmoded sense of belief and understanding based on the concepts and teachings of others which as i said earlier often acts as a temporary reprieve from the vexations caused by too much thinking. I am not paid to think, i am not a great thinker, i do not seek to become a thinker of any sorts, I keep deluding myself with all these denials when in actual fact i am doing what i am doing simply to express my thoughts in the open like a novelist putting together his or her thoughts to create a novel. i cannot live this life with no certain amount of thinking i realize this but what is the amount of this certain amount, how much is too much? This is why I choose to paint or draw or sketch, it is my way like most fine arts artists, to slow down if not channel my thoughts into some creative form of action where the physical action occupies the space in between the thoughts cause even in this kind of activities thoughts will intrude and impose itself in sometimes the most insidious manner which will often upset the mood or the rhythm of the work in progress leading to frustration.
So i accept the fact that thoughts are here to stay for no matter how hard i try to deflect thoughts from taking a hold on my mind, by whatever means, Meditation, Yoga, painting, masturbating of taking a crap, thoughts will always be there to accompany me and i am afraid i am slowly but surely becoming what I think. With this in mind i decided that if i am to be infested by my thoughts I might as learn how to put my thoughts to some serious thinking of how i can benefit from all these thinking. How can I harvest from all my ideas and imaginations, my plannings and processing, which are all basically the manifestation of thoughts.Thoughts in action as in meditation in action as expounded by the late Trungpa Rinpoche.
"This classic teaching by a Tibetan master continues to inspire both beginners and long-time practitioners of Buddhist meditation. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche shows that meditation extends beyond the formal practice of sitting to build the foundation for compassion, awareness, and creativity in all aspects of life.He explores the six activities associated with meditation in action—generosity, discipline, patience, energy, clarity, and wisdom—revealing that through simple, direct experience, one can attain real wisdom: the ability to see clearly into situations and deal with them skillfully, without the self-consciousness connected with ego."
I know I cannot overcome world hunger or stop the carnage going on in Syria or solve the mystery of the missing Jet Liner MH370, but i know I can share Trunpa's insight into how to deal with the human condition in some small way and hopefully someone else may read this and carry it further for their own benefit in self healing. I cannot overcome all that is happening around me that is in the form of never ending suffering but i can make myself an instrument of the will of the collective spirit to spread what has already been pointed out as possible solutions in this our human frailties. It may take a cataclysmic event like an earthquake or a typhoon, a tsunami or a volcanic eruption to wake up the collective consciousness but these vents do not happen often enough to keep man from sliding back into his me, me, mine, mine rut of the egoic mind. I do not pray for this planet to be harassed by these natural disasters like Jackie Chan once was accused of expressing when he was interviewed on the subject of humanity, where we are at and what needs to happen. But I believe like Jackie Chan that man needs to be constantly reminded that he has to learn to coexist, which means sharing, giving, loving and having compassion towards those less fortunate. Otherwise a good slapstick is what we need every so often and more so as we so called advance ourselves into a more highly evolved specie on this planet.
Wars and hunger should have been a thing of the past in our history as homo sapiens but instead we have made wars a necessity to keep our economy strong, we have allowed hunger to proliferate so that the few can dominate over the rest of humanity in the form of exploitation and domination. Where or when will it all end? This is what my mind often waste its time thinking about, like it makes a whole lot of difference. But if think it must then think I will and while I am at it i will keep practicing my fingers and sharpen my writing skills such that it will all not go to waste. .
or when all else fails, give an art class. |
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