Had I really lived? or Had I merely existed?

  The Insanity is pandemic as the world spins out of control with one nation after another falling into chaos with conflict after conflict being engineered to feed the military machine of the self proclaimed super powers that hungers for hegemony of the planet. It is rather sad to see the United States imploding into a sink hole of its own making day by day loosing the respect and admiration of other nations in that it had at one time carried the banner of freedom and justice in their eyes. It is like the salt itself has turn bad and there is nothing left to depend on when it comes to the preservation of human pride and dignity in self determination as a nation. Never in the history of man has there been a more paradoxical twist in the state of affairs as far as the planet and humanity itself where the best and the worse of possibilities is being manifested both creating and destroying at the same time. We are eating and shitting on the same plate we eat! While we celebrate the great achievements we have made in all our fields of endeavors albeit scientific, technological or aesthetics and so forth, we are at the same time fermenting death and destruction towards our fellow man. For every sophisticated weapon we create we are creating misery for those these weapons are aimed at and being typically human we justify our way out of every transgressions we have committed. And we ask where is God in all these! Where is the Divine in us that we can turn to for the sake of our own sanity if nothing else.

There is no sense in pointing our fingers here and there in order to find the faults that lies in others rather than within ourselves. As a human we are all complicit in everything that transpires before us within and external and it does not take genius or a mystique to spell it out for us where or what we need to do in order to realign ourselves to accord with the cosmic groove and to be in sync with the flow of nature. We just have to wake up on the right side of the bed and make our bed after before we embark upon making the world a better place for all. We simply have to look into the mirror and smile at what is looking back at us and feel grateful that we are still alive and aspire to be more so when we step out of the bath room. As we eat our breakfast we feel grateful for all those who are responsible for this meal to be possible, the sun, the rain the earth, the farmer, the grocer, the chicken, the pigs and so forth without any of these we will not be eating our breakfast. As we step out of our home to head for our place of employment we greet the world with a smile and a positive state of mind that helps to make it a great day that lies before us. What is so difficult about being in this state of mind thus far? Aside from being ill or having nasty toothache or a migraine or having lost your wallet the night before or any of the unforeseen circumstances, life really is simple but we tend to complicate it for no apparent reason sometimes.

Whether you are a carpenter of fly the Boeing 747, you are still a human being who walk this planet alongside your fellow man headed towards the same destination and that is the grave; this is as a matter of fact the gravity of our life no matter how we crawl, walk or run to get to our final destination. When all is said and done, when the final curtain drops and the fat Lady has sung the Blues, we can look at ourselves in the mirror and hopefully still smile and sing. "I did it my Way!" This is our destiny or we think it to be so as we step out of the circle into the 'Twilight Zone' of the afterlife to join those that have gone before us. What have we left behind us, what legacy have we to be proud of that our progenies can reflect upon as their heritage we wonder as we let go of that final breath; had i really lived? or had i merely existed. Life is cheap these day and age as is being proven over the ages where human life has become nothing but mere pawns in the games of thrones, of wars and clandestine sick pleasures of those who have no scrupulous about using and abusing others simply because they can afford to through wealth or aggression. Yet we pride ourselves as cultivated and civilized more so than ever in our dilapidated history ever since we learned to stand upright.

I feel less proud to be called a man, much less to be considered to be among the wise spiritually or otherwise. As I age I feel much older and less wiser as is commonly expressed among those who begin to see reality as it is; the sad truth for those who have walked the earth blindly for a greater part of their lives. How i often feel like a water buffalo being led to work the fields by a string pierced through my nose by some unseen hands that I had been attached to since the day I was born and now having had  a few glimpses of what life is all about I am beginning to feel the need to led to the pastures simply to just graze till death catches up with this old sack of skin and bones. How many more lives need i return to in order to become fully awakened and liberated from this vicious circle of birth death and rebirth or worse yet how long would i be spending my time in hell for all the transgressions and ignorance in this life for I do not believe like an atheist that I would simply escape retribution by simply being dispersed into the cosmos or emptiness. 

SUCH IS!!