I hated being in school sometimes on the other hand being in school was one of the best times of my childhood life. The Francis Light Primary School was where my education really began and it began with an almost well balanced of pros and cons. I was a born artist who was kept behind after school so I can pain Murals for the school walls for Parents' Day Event. I was among the top students in English and Intelligence Test classes. The school used to have this special class call Intelligence Studies where they probe your mind symbols and diagrams for you to differentiate or pick out one that does not belong and so forth and I was often at the top among all the students of my same standards. But the horror is when I had to sit through the math class and sometimes even the science classes. My mind just scored blanks and I suffered more than than I can express of pain and shame. I was tortured by my math teachers like for every time i was not able to answer a multiplication table I was made to stand and the next after i was made to stand on my chair and then my pants came down and the I was marched to the principal's office with my pants on my head to be rataned or caned by the head master! God how I hated them and how their faces still haunt my memories. But! Such Is! My anger started to get the better of me and I developed low self esteem of myself and lived my life on the fringe of the main society. I became detached from getting too close to people or trusting others especially the adults in my life even at a very early age. Mostly without having realized it i hated myself most. My performance in school slipped badly and i was demoted to repeat my final year as i skipped one year bi-passing standard three to standard four. Education killed my sense of being a happy child and led me on this trail of self delusion always wondering what or where i went wrong.
At the age of twelve i was relocated to the East Coast to live with my real parents after the discovery that i was being raised as a Buddhist by my uncle. This episode of my life too has been written time and again in this Blog so I will skip the details. My Secondary Schooling was at the Sultan Sulaiman Secondary School in Kuala Terengganu. There the challenge was upped by having my Eldest brother as the Disciplinary and English teacher and my twin brother whose teenage space I had invaded. I went through an almost identical situation as I did in my primary school only the religious pressure was more intense until we were officially converted to Islam. In the course of my secondary school years my eldest brother slapped my face on three separate occasion, once at the school office witnessed by the office boy, then in his room at the hostel where he was the warden and then at home before my mother. I know I deserved every slap for the transgressions I must have committed but the slaps stung mee deeper than just physical pain. When he left to continue his studies in New Zealand he put both my twin and I under the care of another teacher who also slapped my face in the library in front of many senior students again I most probably deserved that one too. The same happened with an peace corps teacher who was from England and wham ! He too decide to rearrange my jaw bone to get my attention and make his point. These were moments when had I a gun i would have shot my teachers! Or close enough.
My saving grace came in the form of a martial arts instructor who was also then the head of the Trengganu State Religious Department, Encik Abu Johan who took me in as a member of his family. I truly embraced Islam through his tutelage and guidance. Through knowing him I got to hang out with the then Chief Magistrate and the Chief of Police who would hang out at night at Pa Abu's playing Scrabble. For hours we would play till the early morning hours I said we because I was the one who they were trying to beat all the time even though I was much younger than them and was a martial arts student; no kidding I always beat them; Encik Zol, Encik Noh and Pa'Abu were my mentors about life and religion of Islam. Through Pa'Abu I was introduced to two influential people in my life back then, Dato Ariffin Zakaria and Tengku Azmel who took me and my twin under their wings. Dato Ariffin later became adviser to the Sultan Of Terengganu. My education began when i realized that all those years and the hundreds of books and comics I had read was my ticket towards making it in the world that I was facing. Acting tough was not good enough, you just become tough especially when the going got tough. I became a good martial arts student and realized that i got no more snipe remarks about my race or religion and you are the center of attention. From then on i made the cardinal error of not taking reign of my ego and stepped and stomped over heads and toes till I had to leave the State for my own safety, that is another story perhaps that will never be told.
I am not trying to justify my failures while in school and I am positive that the teachers meant well, however I would be telling lies had i not told it as it had happened. My problem with education was resolved when I was admitted to the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay sometime in 1978. This story too has been written in the Blog; So to be continued...
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