Friday, June 05, 2020

Nw that I know, how do I continue?

I found myself on the first of June and so now I can say...I know who I am. Who am I?...an old worn out question that has been put to rest...it is the Amazing Grace like the Lady sings, "I once was lost and now I am Found.."So what do I do with this realization? Carry water ...cut wood and life goes on nothing has changed but change itself. Now to continue walking consciously with meditative awareness as the next episode unfolds, to be fully in the Now and experience life a breath at a time; wishful thinking no doubt but that is what it takes for me to be who I am in the truest sense of the word truth. Even as I write I feel the fallacy of my effort it has
 become a meaningless need to share with God knows who  and why. However a vow was made initially and has to be kept regardless of who or what is aware of such covenant made between a student and a Teacher during a strenuous Practice Period at the Zen Buddhist Monastery at green Gulch Farm in Sausalito, Marin County, California. Yes the Bodhisattva vows which is taken at every full moon ceremony for two years of my life as a Zen student. If I take way anything worth mentioning as a Zen student it is this Vows that i hold till this day obliged to carry out to the best of my ability. 

The First Vow being: "Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them."
The Second: " Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them."
The Third being: " The Dharma Gates are boundless, I vow to enter them."
The Fourth Vow: " The Buddha's Way is unsurpassed I vow become  it."

Yes to most, meaningless jargon of an ancient dogma that was laid down by the Patriarchs and Ancestors to give a sense of meaning and purpose to life for those who are awakened. Yes Life has no meaning really, until you give it one and in this case it is in the form of a servitude towards humanity while in the effort to healing,  cleansing and purifying you own self. The journey of  your lifetime I believe is not just your own but a journey shared by many and for eons throughout the history of man; man is an interdependent being whose existence is interrelated to the rest of his environment albeit spiritual or material. When you achieve enlightenment in a cave, in the mountains, the whole cave and mountains become enlightened with you. The Trees, the insects, the birds, the rivers and the streams etc., becomes enlightened; All is enlightened and when all is enlightened, nothing is any different. Hence before enlightenment you carry water and cut wood, after enlightenment you cut wood and carry water. 

Had I been living in a cave in the mountain, I might have been able to not share my self realizations with any other human being except those who I met occasionally along the path and if the situation present itself. I would not have to keep an ongoing journal or write a Blog, I would not have to paint pictures or even share my thoughts through words, if I had been living a hermits life. I lived and grew up among all walks of life, in big cities and small villages, in schools and campuses and among meat cutters and produce buyers, fishermen and farmers, I have lived among the masses of humanity and although my journey is my own and personal, I am walking this path alongside man and his history fulfilling my own destiny like every single one of the rest of humanity; as such I owe to Mankind to share my journey in whatever form I deem necessary and viable. For whatever it is worth it is with th hope that my journey can  be of help to those on a similar course of self discovery. This is my way of spiritual awakening that can be emulated by the few that follow my progress as I walk this path. In some small way this is one of my ways of fulfilling the first of my Bodhisattva Vows, that Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them.

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