It's that time of the year - monsoon and floods

 In many parts of the country floods is wrecking a havoc, disrupting lives and demolishing roads and bridges, turning vehicles into flotsam and animals scattered all over in trying to stay alive.

The December 2021 Malaysia floods are a series of major floods that has been affecting eight different states in Malaysia, Beginning on 14 December 2021, a tropical depression made landfall on the eastern coast of Peninsular Malaysia, bringing torrential downpours throughout the peninsular for three days. 

A view of a town in Mentakab, inundated with floodwaters this morning. -NSTP/ROSELAN AB MALEK

 

It is the monsoon season in these part of the world and thus the expected rain, it rained in the past years too during these months and there were floods especially along the coastal areas of the South China Sea, however in the past few years the flooding has been more severe and extensive covering urban and city areas. 

 

 The flooding this year thus far has been devastating in some places along the west coast of the peninsular causing fatality and shutting down businesses in the affected areas. Roads and bridges were washed away leaving behind debris and mud making it look like an aftermath scene from a disaster movie.Most of the affected areas are areas surrounded by vast deforested landscape. These areas where logging is most prevailant and areas with very poor drainage systems. In short we are looking at the result a massive act of corruption and greed where the land and forest had been stripped bare. This is happening all over the country wherever there is forest still standing and corrupted government officials and greed ridden loggers join forces for a quick rich schemes.

The number of deaths due to floods increased to 37 nationwide including a child, Inspector-General of Police (IGP) Tan Sri Acryl Sani Abdullah Sani said. - Pic courtesy of JC Drones

The emergency response set in motion by the Federal Government according to many was too little too late in happening and most of those stranded on top of the roof of their homes were rescued by the public and some foreign workers it was declared. Malaysia is sinking! Like the Japanese Netflix series with the same title, this country is sinking through all the faults and errors of her own citizens. It is a matter of too much is never enough and the lack of genuine care for the environment takes front stage in all its negative aspects and waste being in the lead. Our complacency and self serving attitudes, our greed and ignorance of what we are doing to the country as a whole is causing us this man made and natural disasters. 

The flood situation in Kampung Dengkil, Selangor - BERNAMA Pic

    #monsoon,#floods,#floodspahang,#floodsselangor,#floodsmalaysia

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche - revisited.

 

There too many 'roadside attractions' in the course of this life and it makes it almost impossible for one to become centered and focused even through meditation or should I say especially when one meditates. The human mind -humind is a sponge that absorbs anything and everything that one comes into contact with through the senses and consciousness. After having survived 72 years of living I am more than ever still dealing with 'letting go' of the accumulated thoughts and those that are cropping up every second and every moment even as I am making this post. It is 6:11 am. and the call to prayer just came over the air from two different mosques near my area. This off course sets my mind in motion over my lack of commitment in fulfilling my duty as a Muslim and all the ramifications that is attached to it dragging my thoughts of being a sinner, heaven and hell and so forth. Then the dogs starts barking snatching my consciousness away towards a new subject and it even creates a story of its own as I compare the two sources of sounds with irony. This is how the humind reacts and thoughts come into being, choices are being made, the good and the not so good or are both irrelevant or are they necessary.or matters. 

Why bother? You ask. I have no perfect answer to the question but having been bothered for most of my life by mind, the mental faculties and thoughts, I am attached to the need to understand anything and everything to do with the humind; it is an obsession that has taken a whole lot of self observation studies and practices demanding for that perfect enlightenment in understanding this simple matter. Outside my window the sun has not risen and the darkness it is breezy and cool with birds beginning to rise from their slumber singing their songs of morning has broken. I took a few minutes off from writing to feed the harassing cat meowing for her breakfast as always, heated some water fro a cup of Nescafe 3 in 0ne and made some rice and reheated some leftovers chicken fried vegies for my daughter to take with her to work. Half of the rice will go to feed the neighborhood pigeons as it to has become my morning routine. The reason I am reminding myself of all these time and again is that this too is my meditation in action practice. It had actually started off with about an hour sitting meditation and followed by a brief physical unwinding exercise to gather back all the aching parts of the body and mind into alignment easing the aches and pains of sleep and old age; got to keep the blood flowing in the right directions and needed places; migraine gone and shoulder and back pains disappear, stiffness of body and mind become fluid more or less.

In fact, a person always finds when he begins to practice meditation that all sorts of problems are brought out. Any hidden aspects of your

personality are brought out into the open, for the simple reason that for the first time you are allowing yourself to see your state of mind as it is.”

-- Chogyam Trungpa

Trungpa Rinpoche was the first teacher that brought my attention to the idea of "meditation in action."  I read his works when I was in college in the 70-80s  and was impressed by the idea. and has kept reminding myself ever since to make it my practice. While doing the dishes, driving my car or simply hanging out with my friends I make it an effort to stay in focus as a form of mind observation;what is my mind thinking while I am doing what I am doing. It not only helps me to remain in focus with what I do but also helps me to observe and analyze my thoughts eliminating all negative thoughts if and when they arises. It helps most when I do my artwork like painting or even as I am writing this post.    

      It is my hope that by writing as much as I can about meditation it would help others who happen to read this Blog as I strongly believe that meditation practices in whatever form is of great value for every human being in dealing with their mind. To curb excessive thinking is primordial towards healing whatever ailments that we chronically suffer in our daily lives. We suffer mostly from our erroneous, our muddled thinking processes that is often left unchecked, especially thoughts that are repetitively negative which tends to drag us down the unwanted paths away from from our immediate actions. Not too many people have strong sense of maintaining an unbroken attention to any given situation and this is the result of our being distracted by our mental 'roadisde attractions'. 

“Meditation practice is a way of making friends with ourselves. Whether we are worthy or unworthy, that's not the point. It's developing a friendly attitude to ourselves, accepting the hidden neurosis coming through.”
-- Chogyam Trungpa

 

As 2021 comes to a close...

"Greed and competition are not the result of immutable human temperament...greed and fear of scarcity are in fact being created and amplified...the direct consequence is that we have to fight with each other in order to survive". - Bernard Lietaer, Founder of EU currency system. 

Greed, Hate and Ignorance are the three illnesses that has plagued humanity since the beginning of civilization, The Buddha is said to have said some two thousand six hundred years ago. In this day and age Alvin Toffler the author of Future Shock and The Third Wave, converted diametrically the same , Wealth, Power and Information will be the dominant ingredients for any society to become master over others; the flip-side of the coin. Today we  are seeing the manifestation of these two principles being played out all over the world albeit locally or globally. It is a sad and foreboding future mankind is facing whether we see it as it is or prefer to continue living in denial and acceptance of the inevitable. For those of my age this scenario is playing itself out in a rapid pace as we watch the changes taking place since the end of World War Two as I was born a few years after. The fact is, is that one might think that humanity had learned the lesson of the consequences of the ailments as pointed out by the Enlightened One but instead over the 60-70 years, mankind it seems is doomed to repeat the same errors made by those that contributed towards the causes of the  two Global Wars; and we have the audacity to call ourselves civilized. 

The dye it seems is cast and the milk is spilled, I am getting less and less convinced by the day that humanity will be able to arrest and reverse the process of our planetary decadence. Our minds are being sucked irreversibly into the black hole of our own making; we have become worse than the parasites that eats at its own host's vital organs, we have become cancerous. Greed and hatred prevails all over the world and through the lack of fortitude and wisdom we are fast drowning in our own quagmire of self generated waste. Out of the 7-8 billion of the human population we have to date perhaps not even ten percent are aware or even care of the state we are in and much less strives to do anything about it. It is a dog-eat-dog world we live in and what can be done about it is simply to become aware of it and make the changes that is needed from within ourselves. Time to step back and do a double take of the whole situation or our existence and take appropriate action no matter how or insignificant we might deem it to be; toss the stone into the pond and see how wide the ripples grow. 

According to the Population by World Data Lab on the Internet, I am older than 95% of the world's population to date and 97% of all people in Malaysia; in short I am getting old. With this knowledge no matter how accurate it might be I realize that I stand among those ready to take the next step called the one step beyond and it is also my realization that I  have survived this life beating the odds over a large number of people and deserves the recognition from and to myself. 

We estimate that you will live until 11 Oct 2033 if you were an average world citizen. Whereas in Malaysia it would be until 08 Mar 2033.

I hope not, 2033?! What would I do till then? Kay sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see, Kay sera sera! I used to sing this song made famous by Doris Day if I am not mistaken when I was a young boy and loved to sing.

And not too many like to listen to a sad and depressing state of affairs these days and most would switch on the denial mode and turn towards the pleasures and entertaining events floating around to satisfy the ego. Shit never happens until it slaps one in the face or affect one's pocket and when it does there is always an escape route through back doors and alternate realities of HBO and NETFLIX. Then again there are those who are still looking for victims to scam wherever and whenever taking advantage of the economic uncertainties and simple ignorance. It is the season of greed and hate of fear and insecurity and it is also the season to be jolly as Christmas is around the corner. Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings to one and all for 2021, a year that is inglorious and best let it rest in ignominy. 

       

Changes Happens -within and without...

Another morning has broken, another day has passed and I am sitting here telling my story to unknown readers, phantom entities and to myself. Changes happens with or without my own awareness and often things change to evolve for the better worse depending upon how I deal with each and every change that transpires at every moment  of my waking, sleeping and deep sleep as every moment is my own creation, my mental formations, my physical actions and manifestations. Changes happens most subtly and in the most drastic way, I just have to flow with and not resist, I place my faith in the Lord to allow for changes to hapen and for me to see it through in the most positive way possible despite my weaknesses and ignorance. I learned this lesson when I visited the Malay fishermen jetty or better known as Pondok nelayan Jelutong yesterday in an effort to break from the tedium of staying home and face the routine I have been setting myself into; cook, clean, do dishes and laundry, feed the cat and water the plants, among other things like facing the computer and wasting time on the Fae Book and Netflix and last but not least, write about it.

Perhaps through the practice of meditation over the years, of self observation and personal study of the inner workings of the human consciousness through religion, science and intuition, I feel changes happening within and without my physical body. My health is not what it used to be and I realize that I could be facing some major change in my physical state, a stroke or worse but I feel also that I am most closest to the functioning and maintenance of this form just as I did my last car. The balances and alignment of ever element and parts was well cared for, however the process of ageing and decay and demise has set it. There are changes that are beyond my control like loosing my teeth or my hair, my energy or my passion in carrying out an optimum performance of my daily routine and extra curricular activities like I used to. With the realization of my  limitations due to the wear and tear of age, I move and act accordingly. I slow myself down in everything I do telling myself I am in no hurry to get there or finish this, I stop pushing myself to do more than is necessary without becoming lazy or fall into a stupor or euphoric state of mental and physical decadence. Neither do I subject myself to over thinking, daydreaming, planning too much and the rest of it; I meditate more often and more deeply into letting my mind go and my past dispersed to the four winds. I find the virtue of practicing some for of meditation in the course of one's life to be an excellent way of facing the changes that happens in my daily life.

Changes that is happening externally all around me is has gathered momentum in time or so it seems and events and episodes slips by more rapidly than used to. Sadly enough the changes happening is more towards decadence rather than creativity, towards the falling of rather than the building of a better society or nation. In my country, Malaysia, changes has taken a downward curve in practically every aspect. albeit the economy, the political, religious and social, we are backsliding downhill a slippery slope of no return. It is worrisome to say the least and there seems to be no end in sight nor any silver lining to hope for. As a Malaysian I am sad and disappointed over the state of ur nation that was at one time dubbed one of the Asian Tiger as far as wealth and growth was concern but today we have become a laughing stock of the eyes of the world to be one of the most corrupted nation on earth. It is no laughing matter when food prices are being jacked up for no apparent reason than simply greed and lack of proper governance. I am too old and tired to fight for the cause.against the injustice committed upon my fellow Malaysians, however it still my duty to make it be known how a vast majority of the people feel about the state of this union.

 I am changing, we change, the society and country changes as nothing remains permanent as all things born or created comes to an end when it is time. It is in the manner of how we come to our rest is my concern and I must say that I am not doing as well as I should. I allow my ego to become dominant in my day to day relationship with the world out there and that which is within. I am still struggling to bring the whole mental formation that I have accumulated and still harboring past memories that dictates my well being; I am sitting here in limbo,'like a bird without a song.' I once wrote or was it in one of my art talks of how the Lord and me had a small talk about life before I was brought into this life. The Lord said that He has given me a blank canvas to paint my life and how or what I paint is entirely up to me. I can make it most passionate and exciting, full of living, or i can fritter my life away in mediocrity and boredom; peaceful as heaven or painful as hell. I have accomplished both over the years with little or no regrets. For sure I could have done better anyone would say, but destiny has its ways of filling in the details of what transpires. I have also called my life; The Art of Living. No matter the changes I will flow like water through each and every nook and cranny, through darkness and light, ignorance and wisdom to fulfill my covenant with my Lord. 

   

The Corsican Brothers - visit by my twin brother.

 Two days ago my twin brother for the first time ever visited my home and it was a good moment for me in more than one way. Spiritually, it was to me like the Lord has found forgiveness towards my transgressions of a younger brother to an elder as most of our lives we were at logger heads with each other. We grew up as children separately as I was adopted by my mother's younger brother, my uncle and he was raised by my parents. I grew up mostly in Penang, on the West Coast while he grew up on the East Coast in the Kuala Terengganu. We were reunited when I turned twelve and was relocated to be with my immediate family due to our religious upbringing, I was raised a Buddhist and he as a Muslim.I have told and retold of this circumstances in the past postings in this Blog as it was and still is something of importance in my life and it indelibly affected my mind as I dig deep to understand myself. Still, as is said the devil is in the details of which I am not ever going to dwell into anymore as I feel this phase in my life has come full circle and ends perhaps on a sweeter note of forgiveness and love; our sibling rivalry has now been buried, hopefully.

At the social physical level our lives might see a better future in terms of the willingness the give and take, forgive and forget and perhaps enjoy a better time when visiting one another without feeling the undertow of animosity, distrust and fear. We at an age where death is practically knocking at the door and in Islam to die with a permanent rift between us as siblings is tantamount to a major sin. Further more at the physical level we might be able to help one another better in facing with life issues, family issues and give a helping hand if and when needed. Although he has very little need of my help, I might need his much more even if in the past I have never approached him for any form of help and support for obvious reasons and also that which contributes towards our distancing. But as I have mentioned earlier, the devil is in the details and no need to get into the matter any further. Suffice to say that the very gesture that he has taken to drop by my home was a token of letting go of negative vibes and hopefully paving the road towards a healing process. 

The healing process takes time and if oe is patient and yielding, Insha'Allah, God willing all wounds and ailments can be overcome and in the process one becomes much more lighter as if a burden has been lifted or a baggage has been dropped. It takes an effort however and it has to come from a genuine wish from the heart that the healing happens and it happens of its own accord when it does. This has been a valuable lesson for me even if it had taken a long time for the final resolution to materialize. In Islam, the ties of 'Siratulrahim' or the relationship especially between siblings is fundamental and ust be kept intact no matter what the cause of separation may be. One has to make every effort towards reconciliation, to forgive and forget and to maintain love and respect between each other especially before the time of death; Allah forgives when you are able to forgive and be forgiven is my believe. This too is the true meaning of Love or unconditional Love in the spiritual sense. When your heart has been cleansed of all anger and hate through your own effort, then that being the source of your negative thoughts ceases to haunt you and this to me is one route towards enlightenment; become light as opposed to being pulled down by gravity. It is easier said than done but getting it done is a must if one is on the path of spiritual awakening. it is a crucial part of tying up loose ends before one can taste the lightness of being liberated. Ignoring or sweeping is under the carpet or throwing it into the far corner of the consciousness closet will not do as it will foment and raise its stink at some time in the future when least expected. No matter how painful or complicated it may seem, one has to make every effort for reconciliation and I found that by being patient and yielding it has paid off. Not only did we kiss and make up, I was left with almost Rm500 when they left, a gift which in the past I had refused to accept. This time I accepted having felt the genuine offer of an elder brother to a younger brother and to turn it down still would only put a damper on the process of healing.

How can one not love someone you were born alongside with and it was no fault of either of us that we were to be raised separately at birth for twelve years and alter to be reunited in our teenage years, the years that is most volatile in a boy's life when it comes to domination and control, a time when establishing the ego status was most apparent. There was no one to blame as t all happened due to unavoidable circumstances and as a Muslim, preordained or written. It was like two young wolf pubs growing up and trying to establish their own space and territory after having lived separately since birth, there was no understanding there was only rivalry, there was no counselling ther was only fueling as the environment itself became a battle ground of one up-manship. But as it turns up, there is yet hope for a healing to take place between us in our old age and that is something to look forward to, if for nothing else, for our sanity.        

   

  

Rambling on...

 I am running out of options as to how I intend to live my life from here on amidst the Pandemic and getting old and feeling the fragility of the body and mind catching up to me.  The doors are closing fast one after another or so it seems and I cannot step out of the room I am caged in due to external circumstances beyond my control such as the Covid lock down and travel restrictions, economic uncertainties and the need of my children and not to mention the slowly decadent of my physical body if not my mind due to ageing. A Part and parcel of growing old that every one has to endure in the course of life, some gave in much earlier than others and settle for getting ready for the afterlife by frequenting the mosques and temples, while others keep themselves busy pursuing their hobbies and baby sitting their grand children while counting rosaries in one hand. I paint, wrtie, read, and surf the Internet which covers the You Tube, the Netflix and Face Book. I have been devoting my time towards the useless and senseless pursuit of the unreal, the impermanent, the illusions  just to keep myself from falling into the rut of mediocrity like most of my fellow man. It is not that there is anything wrong with being among the majority of the mediocre club or the cub of reluctant messiahs and wannabe Roshi and Yogis, nor is there any need really to become the top notch scientist altering the genetic nature of the species or making the climate dance according to our tune , no, there is no right or wrong, except that being endowed with the mind and along with it the freedom of choice to will this mind into whatever infinite possibilities that a man can dream and conjure, it is a shame to die simply like a broken piece of record stuck in a rut due to a faulty player.  

I can keep on writing like this as i have been doing for most of the past thirty odd years of my life, documenting, recording, making observations and taking actions whenever and wherever possible, or I can make a genuine move towards a change in my life style and go for broke. What i have t loose is mainly security , the comfort of a roof on top of my head and food on the table and perhaps some sense of joy in watching my children drift towards the same rut I had fallen into. As most adult children today, mine are beyond my words of advice as their minds have drifted far into the pull of the inevitable rut called  your normal daily existence; again nothing wrong with that except what a waste of potentialities and possibilities. Throughout the history of mankind we have be told of how tremendous a faculty the Human Mind is and that it Created the Universe and helps to keep and maintain its creation and will wrap it up when the time is right...and then a New Beginning for the Universal Mind too is in the state of evolution towards Complete Perfection, Complete and Perfect Enlightenment 

The path towards liberation of the Spirit from the physical and mental formations is a journey we all take and in the best of our ability and with complete determination we make the commitment to take upon this journey; it is called the journey towards self discovery, the hourney of unveiling all the layers of blankets of ignorance and revealing the inner sanctum to the the energy of the sun. It is  meditation at its highest level, it s what some call meditation a subtle death. A part of you becomes erased from your unconscious mind, you become less burdened by past memories or handle them with complete understanding; through acceptance and letting go or detachment; I am not this,none of this is truly who I am. What has been, has been and what will be will be, what is now is the potential state of consciousness that can is able to bring forth to light the path that would lead towards self liberation, or in short,; look within and find the answers for yourself. What is here and Now in this moment is mind expressing and fingers tapping about a subject that is not much discussed like answering to the question of who am I?  

This morning feeling feverish after getting my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine after a long wait since June of this year.and thanks to my son Karim who accompanied me making all transactions smooth through his personality and charm. So ends my reluctance to get vaccinated but I still do not fully accept the manner in which the government forced me to take it. oh well...what is freedom or the right to stand for your principle in making decisions that governs your personal health and now most I talk to are going for the third shot! Will we become vac-addicts if this Covid situation prolongs? Truth be told most of us have no clue as to what the vaccine does as many are still becoming victims t the virus even after being give the shots and it must be staggering to even imagine how much it all cost to provide billions of needles, and whatever serum, not to mention the cost of delivery and the lock down; it is a very expensive affair all round. Who financially benefits from all these? Maybe we aught to know. Fear is the key and money is the name of the game.  

Herein lies the paradox of life when you have reached a point whereby you know you are transcendent, gone, gone beyond the concept of the word gone, closer to God or whoever that you worship and this world is an illusion that is mind created. Yet her I am still troubled by the details of the how and whys of the Pandemic and suffering physically from the very vaccine that I just had, headache, upset stomach, low energy level, close to depression and its alright! A few close friend and relatives have died at a very early age and I watch wondering if my time is up too as I had felt when the Covid virus had its two odd weeks choke hold on me but I survived. I was not afraid of the death itself but the discomfort aches and pains through my entire body was what I could not bear. I often blurt out to myself in anguish, "Die already, why don't you!" But the Universe, Allah has more in store for the sinner or so it seems. "For one thing, " You have yet to full discover who you are, have you?  You have yet to figure why you were here in the first place as you always insisted all along."                 

The Book of Life....Luh Mahfuz.

 As a Muslim I have been fascinated by the existence of the Kitab or book known as the Luh Mahfuz or the book of Destiny or The record of Creation Itself. In it it is believed is written all there is and there will ever be and including the detail history of my very existence from inception to the end of my days. Every move I have made every thought I have projected every relationship, every deed good or bad is written in the Luh Mahfuz. In other words The Lord had His Master Plan all figured out before He okay His Creation to be manifested. The Lord's allows for nothing to stray from His Master plan and all flow according its role and state in the life/existence he is destined for. It is the Lord's Will and in this is what I place my trust and surrender in. I accept wholeheartedly that I am a vehicle, a servant, the silent voice of the Divine within me. I am yet far from being able to fully listen and still have my glitches and digressions, however I am feeling the drawing closeness of my soul to that of my Beloved, my Lord and Creator. I will keep on meditating upon His Name and trust in the scheme of things are evolving according to His plan. I will keep on paving my way towards His Throne even if I have to crawl my way to get to it. 

Al the tall talks and passionate convictions towards the Lord is great and makes a whole lot of sense to one who is still looking for answers and have found the simple truth that it is all predestined and Lord is the Director and He makes the movie and I am merely an actor playing my role in this realm of existence. I write the script as I go along from craddle to grave; it is called free choice. You can make your role an epi one or you can act a snail! Your choice. Free will is a double edged sword and cuts both ways, it is the submission to a dual thinking mind. Right or wrong good or bad, your choice, my choice and everyone's choices. Knowing the choices you make will affect your future or destiny, one has to make the right choice as much as possible. Common sense, simplicity, making it all simple rather than complicated and confusing and last but not least , one has toaim for the "real' and drop the unreal. SO, what is the real you ask and I tell you, all that do not last, that comes to and end, are not real and that includes who you understand yourself to be; you are not real!What you hear is sound and what you feel is emotions and when you are tired you sleep, when hungry you eat and them you sit and watch your life go by.  One day you wake up with a heart attack and you struggle to deal with it with all the techniques and prayers that you have lived by and nothing seems to help and you are slowly but surely loosing consciousness and you are about to panic and give a shout for help or reach out for some reality to grasp no and there is nothing but you and your breath slipping away and you ask, what do I do? You make good with the Lord, you, make your Profess..."That there is No God but Allah! I surrender my soul unto Him...Innalillahi wa innallilahi Rajiun! From You I come to You I return...Please accept me into Your Grace.; usually I would pass out a few seconds or minutes and then when I wake up my cloaths are wet and I had peed my pants...it is when the most critical moment of your life and all else has been exhausted that giving in to the Divine can be a blessing. 

Some may say I am gambling with my soul, while others may see what I have been practicing, or as Mahatma Gandhi is said to have said, " Life is an experiment." Indeed! My life has been one long experiment in trying to analyze what life and living is all about and thus far I must admit I have come a very long way towards the possibility of writing a conclusion to my entire existence. It is very simple and yet it has taken me almost my entire life to live it out as a reality and discovering that it is all an illusion. My experiment with my life has taken me to places that many can only dream of and most would not want to and this is no empty bragging for an impressive line.No, I am still on the road to fully accept my state as is, that I am the product of my thoughts, lost in a maze of projections and being drawn into the chaos of simply noise and emptiness...like being sucked into a black hole of existence. I swing from one extreme to another like a pendulum and keeps loosing the momentum like musician out of tune. Lost in a dual thinking mind or in the Zen Buddhist Tradition, the Monkey mind. Whatever it takes, whatever the cost the state complete enlightenment must be achieved in this life. I am That, I am. I am the infinite, all encompassing, all pervasive,..Pure Consciousness; Atma Brahman, I am the Atman! The Unborn Buddha Nature, I am the essence of a Divine Spark lodged within me, I am that Infinite Mystery that no mind can touch, I am the ver same guy that is letting his fingers move and express themselves on the keyboard, I am still learning how to type. I am who I, a lost and humble servant of my Lord approaching His High Throne. 

Every breathI take and every step I make I am on my homeward bound, I am going home. I am wrapping things up and putting my house in order in the event of the 'Big One' as Fred Sanford of Sanford And Son, likes to shout when all else seemed to  fail in his life, I can feel mine is at hand. If it is written in the Luh Mahfuz that I die tomorrow or this morning even, at least I know that I have lived my life accordingly, both according to The Lord's Will and mine. I can look back and say I too did it my way. I experimented with my life and almost gambled my soul away and yet here I am making this post entry into my Blog while it is raining outside and the time being 3:36 am, this too is recorded or was recorded in the Book of Life.  

#luhmahfuz,#unbornbuddhanature,#lordscreation, #bookoflife.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

My Beloved, my One true Lord.

 Allah is Great! This evening I did my Maghrib Solat or prayer! I have stopped praying for many years now and have been haunted and tortured by self doubts and disrepair, I live in between two mosques that calls to prayer on the loud speakers five times a day and every time I listened to the call my mind becomes agitated and spiritual questions arises sometimes making me feel guilty and sometimes making me feel freedom. I toss back and forth about the five times prayer and I am beginning to feel the implication and the power of the Solat. I had felt it before on many occasion when I was doing it for sometime and then it slips away... I found no comfort and I might even say a waste of my time   and yes perhaps I am lazy. No matter, I surrender my will to the All Mighty Lord and Creator and I have in me a place where He/She, resides. I want to call Him God, the word itself is not a Biblical word and if place before a mirror it turns into Dog. I want to call Him Elohim, Adonai, Yaweh or Jehovah, I am not a Jew. I can call Him Lord Shiva or Lord Brahman, I will have to indulge into, Hinduism and the million of Gods and Deities; I call Him by His Muslim Name and that is Allah SWT. There is only Allah and none other, the one True Lord of Creation and I take complete refuge in His Mercy, His Compassion and His Grace. 

It is in the silence of my heart that I felt the presence of That which is Greater than me; I felt being Loved and Accepted, I felt Peace and Tranquility within me. Allah is an Arabic name that was used throughout the Arab World even before the time of the Prophet, (PBUH). Google it! I will not bore myself with laying down the details and I might be wrong on certain facts and have the whole Muslim community up in arms against me. No, the Word Allah is the most acceptable word to use for THE DIVINE that is withn me. I have become most comfortable with itand as of now I will not be using the God or any other Names when describing what I meant to be Allah. Hence when I say Allahu Akhbar, I am saying That which resides within in the temple of my heart, The AlMighty Allah is Great! There is none, but He.I am still not a good Muslim by a long shot and even as I am making this post I am exposing myself towards being chastised by those who claim themselves to know the religion much better than I. I am still groping in the dark and no matter where I am at or what I have discovered it all seems impermanent and thus unreal. 

Thus far only the threat of death of the physical body seems as real as it gets and on many occasions I have had the near death experiences although as complete as many has. I believe in the power of calling out to the One who one belongs to, the Owner and it has led me through my 'passing out' experiences. By being able to surrender fully to the Lord, Inna lillahi wainna lillahi rajiun! From Him I originated, to Him I return...Insha'Allah; the Lord Willing. This 'Amalan' or practice is the key to embracing Islam. Submission to the Will of the Lord, Tawakal or have complete confidence in the Will of the Lord and Alhamdullilah, am being grateful for the Lord's Mercy and Compassion. I realize it sounds simplistic if not corny, however as I near death in my age and physical condition, I have come to fully accept that AllahSWT, is my Beloved and there is none but He that I Surrender to and Worship with all my heart and soul. I have lived life experiencing the best and the worse it has to offer and at the same pretty much  am able to document as much and as close to the truth as I could of my life and tis Blog makes it possible for me to share my life with the general public. It has always been with Ikhlas - the genuine sincerity of my heart that sharing this journal is my way of saying Thank You and Please forgive me for Transgressions. I am  no Jesus nor Muhammad, not Buddha nor Krishna, I Am Who I Am.

• Doa Nabi shallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam :

  "Ya Allah, berilah manfaat atas apa yang telah Kau ajarkan kepadaku, dan ajarkanlah aku apa yang memberi manfaat kepadaku serta tambahkanlah ilmuku". [Diriwayatkan oleh al-Baihaqi dalam Syu'ab al-Iman]
• O Lord, grant me the relevance of what You have taught me and teach me to know what is relevant/ pertinent for me...by Your Grace, increase my knowledge and wisdom...(al -Balhaqal in the Syu'ab al-iman.
• 
  

 

   

Singing my death song.

" Knowing oneself is the basis of everything, the basis of all your questions and there you will find all the answers because you are the history of mankind...you must know yourself thoroughly, completely, not according to anybody, of books and teachings of religious scriptures, you must know yourself...the total nature of structure ...what your mind is...the whole movement of yourself...begin where you are..."     J. Krishnamurti. - Rajghat talk -1976

For ever now I have been telling myself the same thing, to know my true self is the most crucial and fundamental issue in my life and this i discovered way before I found out that the likes of J. Krishnamurti or Alan Watts. Sri Ramana Maharshi or Nisargadatta Maharaj, Mooji or RamDass existed. This was way back when before i even made my move to the United States, where I spent 21 years of my life as a happy go lucky idiot who knew no better than wasted my life away over matters that took me to the lowest of of the low morallyand not to speak of spiritually. I was being put through the wringer and knew not until I met the above characters through their books and lives. These were my spiritual Gurus, thee and many others who I stumbled upon while in college and continued on till this date and I am still meeting new masters whose words and wisdom helps me to keep my perspective towards where I am headed and that being, knowing my true nature beyond the realm of the physical and mental formations, I have time and again kept reminding myself that it is my wish to become free from if not liberated from this circle of life-death and rebirth as the historical Buddha did before my last breath, if not in this life in the next.

Sometimes I feel I have been wasting my time and fooling myself over something that is just another warped perception of an ignorant mind. Now at 72 it is a matter of time not too much longer before I depart this life, the truth is still evasive and veiled from my complete understanding. I have gambled my faith and am tempting fate in what to expect in the afterlife; heaven or hell or will there be simply nothingness. The issue here is really not about heaven or hell when I die it is more about what am I or who am I truly while living this life and manifesting, engaging and drumming up all these images and experiences irregardless of right or wrong good or bad. The thought process itself is a mind boggling issue to fully comprehend and then there's the dream states and the imaginative and whatever else that we go through in a day of our lives for 72 years!.

"I am Ready to Know!" I am more than ready to take on whatever it is that would set me on the path towards what is the real, what is beyond this illusive existence that I have been lost in like a soul in limbo. After all these years I have come to fully comprehend what the Buddha discovered about this life, that life is indeed suffering and that there is none who really suffers; for so long as there is an 'I' or a 'me', life is indeed suffering. Hence how does one end suffering if one is bonded to this concept of I, me and mine? If one goes deeper into it one finds the truth gets further and further from what is the real. There are moments when it seems futile to go on dwelling upon what life amounts to other than just to go on living the best possible way you can until it is time to leave the scene for good. There is no more mountains to climb and no rivers to cross and if there is one finds no more energy to make things happen. There is only pain, physical and mental anguish that seems to appear and disappear more frequently than ever; this is ageing. No matter how hard one tries to divest from clinging on to this material and mental existence one fails, there seem to be no escape from this self constructed prison. Death it seems is the only way out of this conundrum and eath comes when it comes not unless it be self induced or suicide. 

Taking a coward's way out is not an option especially when there is still food on the table and roof on top of the head, others who still look up to you and you having the will to make things happen whatever it takes. It would be an insult if not a huge disappointment to the loved ones to simply remove oneself from their presence without a cause that they would understand. Living a meaningless life on the other hand is a waste of life itself; it is like sitting on a death row waiting for the time of execution. How to make that rebound? How to make that shift from being stuck in this rut and move on to a more creative and productive state that I used to be able to do in the past? How to jump the hurdle or break through the barrier that is slowly building itself around me making me feel weak and helpless, accepting my fate of fading into oblivion lost in a limbo. If my time is up and there no more that I can accomplish in this life I will have to start making preparations for my departure in such a way that is most acceptable to all. I will need a plan of exit that would be as adventurous and elegant as I have lived my life. I understand that it is all relative how i lived my life, sometimes on the bright side and sometimes on the dark side of the road, however I came to realize that ti is all my life right or wrong, good or bad. I am responsible for all that had and will always be and I am manifesting my every experience today just as I have done everyday of my life. 

I have only but one legitimate witness to all these and that is my Creator, my Lord, God or in my case Allah subhana hu Wataala.Lord of Creations. I am answerable to the One and truly Al Haq or the Real, The Truth, That from which I had come and to return to at the end of my days. I have live my life knowingly or otherwise in the shadow of an illusion and every now and then am awaken to this realization by the remembrance of the fact that there is That which is far greater than who I am witnessing and assisting my every move and keeping from over extending myself one way or another. To become closer to the Creator the Lord and Master is my intention in all my life from the yearn to know my true nature to the cause and reason for my being here: what brought me here? Round and round we go asking the same question and getting no where near the truth, but till the Fat Lady sings the Blues, we ask and we demand for the truth.      

Looking back on the Good times.

 

 

On the lighter side of life, this was when I decided to go traditional with my daughter a few years back

It was a wedding of one of her closest friend from her college years.

 The food was good and it was a good chill out time for me.

All these talks of death and decay is becoming too negative for me, it is good to look back on good times just to be reminded of life being not all that bad.

A

In Loving Memory of my Friend and Brother - Rosli Bakoi, aka Mamu Li

My friend or should I say brother passed away on Sunday and was laid to rest at the Jelutong Masjid Jamek, on Jalan Tunku; he was my best friend among the few I have and had in this life. He was there when I most needed a friend and a place to hang out. Rosli or better known as Li Bakoi, or Mamu Li among the locals old and young, owns and runs the Coffee Shop at the Restauant Ikan Sembilang, which is run by his sons and their buddies. My friend was one of those most likes and respected in the fisherman's community where this all happened and it is known as the Pondok Nelayan Jelutong located along the coastal road off Leboh Raya Lim Chong Eu. This are is located on reclaimed land and the highway that runs parallel to the sea edge was built upon the reclaimed land. When I first met him he was working behind the counter making drinks  I was having a drink while doing some sketching on my pad and we got to talking. Our friendship lasted over twelve years in all and much have I learned about life from this humble man who never seems to have nothing to do, He had a hand in con

structing most of the floating huts of the fisherman's village and the last one he had built from scratch is his living legacy.

When I peeked into the room where they were giving his body the final bath I realized how small he was and from all that I have known he had done with his two hands it boggles my mind. However I had the feeling that he was not going to last into a ripe old age at the rate he was pushing and had a history of a by-pass operation to boot. He refuses his medication his eldest brother told me when we met at the mosque the burial. It rained heavy that Sunday night and I was worried he might be swimming in his grave, he most probably built a sampan right there and then! Bon Voyage my friend, my Brother... may

Allah make it a simple transition from this life to the next.

My drug story

 It is time to talk of my drug experiences a few of which I can safely had a deep impact on my life. I can safely say that I was always stoned on Marijuana since my preschool years and this was from the secondary smoke that the adults in my village we indulged in. There was and still is a club called, The Baharul Alam Football Club, (BAFC) in Sungai Pinang where I was born. This club was the port for all the adults who hung out after work, a rest and recreation place for bachelors. Ganja was the drug of choice back then with a few preferring to drink alcohol. Usually the men would have good smoke and then feast upon the large, pillow size Nasi Kandak lunch after their appetite is being aroused. It was fun to watch the smoking session as kids and I loed the smell of Ganja as the adults would blow it into our faces as we clung to the grill fence separating us from them. They tried to chase us off every now and then but eventually gave up and we got stoned without even knowing it. After the smoking session we would be off doing our thing of running wild as Cowboys and Indians, or Pirates during the high tide around our village. This went of for most of my childhood years and so much so that I was nicknamed, "Mata nishan", by the adults as I would stumble around with my eyelids drooping and a silly grin on my face or so I was reminded by the adults in later years,

I did excellent in my primary school years except when it comes to maths. On looking back I wonder if my mind was not affected in some way that makes my linear thinking mind dead from inhaling almost daily marijuana second hand smoke as a child. On the other hand I excelled in just about every other subject while in primary school often being awarded every end of the year for being the best in Art, English, Intelligence test but fail in maths and science. I never did any drugs untill after my secondary school education. I remember taking a trip to the southern state of Johore visiting a friend in the small town of Segamat. There I was taken into a forest area where I was oficialy introduced to pot smoking in a small hut that was surrounded by a field of marijuana plants. The first time I got stoned that I can still remember was complaining to my friend that I cannot feel my arms while we were riding back to his home on the motor cycle and he kept hold me from falling off backwards while laughing his head off. Marijuana although was illegal in the 60s it was not a serious issue as far as the public was concern. I never really got hooked on it after my initial introduction to smoking ganja even when it was readily available sometimes.

Till this day marijuana is still my drug of choice and it was while I was in college in the United States that I really got hooked on it when I found out that just about everyone in the neighborhood were getting high or stoned. One of my most memorable experience in smoking pot was when I sat and smoked in front of over 90 University students giving them a two hours lecture on Meditation. This happened at the University of Wisconsin at Green Bay, (UWGB). I was also a student then and I was invited to give a talk by one of my professors a Mr. Jack Frisch (sp) who was conducting a class called ,Interpersonal Communication. Jack was a friend out of class and knew I was delving into the meditation and Eastern Mysticism trip at the time. I spent many days thinking about what to share for two hours on this topic that is in actuality not much to talk about. Just the day before the due date I was sitting in a toilet still thinking about it while taking a dump. When I was done I reached for the roll of toilet paper and lkow and behold something dropped to the floor! It was a ceramic bowl that someone had left behind after doing his thing. I picked up the bowl and had my answer to my talk the next day.

I had Jack prepared for me a record player and an incense burner, and the rest I had with me which was a bag of weed or grass as marijuana was commonly known among students those days and the ceramic pipe I had found in the toilet of the Fine Arts Department. I sat on the table lit the incense, played a Ravi Shankar album on the player and loaded the pipe and had a smoke. One student in the back out of 90 odd stood and left the room while the others sat and stared at me. I gave my talk on the subject of meditation and in this case it was also in comparison to natural and the use of drug way of getting high. I kept on talking about how paranoid one gets in getting high on drugs and sometimes in the effort to attain calm and repose we end up with leaving our smoking ceramic bowl behind us in the toilet or sometimes worse yet leaving the keys in the ignition of our vehicle and stepping out locking the car door behind us. I took a great chance and so did my professor in my out of the box performance but it was well worth it and there was no repercussion from the University Admin.

Needless to say like most lost souls of the Green Bay area I was high most of the time which helped me to cope with my scattered life of being divorced, going to school and living in basements and boxes. My first trip on LSD happened at about the same time, while in college. gain it was given to me while I was about to give a talk in the same Interpersonal Communication class of Jack Frisch's. Can't remember how exactly it happened but i can remem two characters involved in the incident. The guy who gave me the LSD tab and my current lady friend who knew I had popped it into my mouth. Martha my friend followed me into the lecture room and sat among the 90 odd students just to make sure all goes well and I was armed with a slide projector this time giving a talk of my visit home to Malaysia. I was shocked and scared in the beginning when the acud hit me and I almost walked out of the room. The I looked out the only window  in the room right right across from where I stood and saw a small tree in the distant with golden grass dancing in the wind, everything was gold in color. Then the first slide came on and my attention was attracted away from the window to the screen and I began my non-stop talk on a Malay traditional wedding, the Thaipusam in Penang, my trip up the Rajang River in Sarawak to celebrate the Gawai Iban of the Head Hunters of Borneo for three days and the great time I had diving and exploring the Kapas Island on the East Coast; these were all in slides and my mind just rattled on over a hundred slides non-stop relating the events as though I was there at the moment. The two hours went without a break as everyone was enjoying the presentation. I made some good friends after the talk and the slides I donated to the International Student Center at the University for their future use.

I was living in a trailer home with a lady when one day I dropped acid while at home alone. It was a mistake that turned into a bad trip. I was depressed to begin with and was at my wit's end wondering where my next meal was coming from. After I took the acid i found everything I looked at was deep blue in color an no matter what I tried I could not shake the color off. What I remember most of my acid trip was that I ended up destroying most f not all of my artworks, prints that I had done over the semester at the university. That was the end of my taking LSD experience as I vowed never to again.

Mushrooms were different, mushrooms I enjoyed taking as I found them to be less as dramatic or intense as LSD and a little more effective than marijuana. I was first introduced to  Psilocybin mushroom while living at Green Gulch Farm in Marin County, California; I was a practicing Zen student there for two years. I found that mushroom effected my muscles, it was more of a physical rug for me, Perhaps it had to do with the immense physical labor I was involved in working on and organic farm and doing the intense practice period of Zen meditation. Sometimes pon taking the shrooms I could feel all my bones shifting into their 'proper positions' especially the spinal column. I could hear the popping of each and every vertebrae as they shit into position when I sat to meditate in the Zendo. This shifting and popping would go all the way up to just below my neck and it would cause my neck to lock the skull into an alignment with the the rest of the spine. Sometimes as soon as I came to this state I could feel an energy rising from my lower parts and threaten to explode around my neck area and causing a tremendous shake to the whole body; I usually sit by myself when I was on mushroom and doing Zazen. In sitting quietly I was able to witness how all my physiology becomes affected by the mushroom mind alternating qualities.

My most unforgettable experience with mushrooms took place in a small mountain village of Esperanza, high up in the Andes Mountains of Ecuador. I have written about this on many occasions in the Blog and finds it redundant to do so now. However if there is any interest to know what transpired back then one can refer back by browsing for the post in the search for  engine...like try -"Out of Body Experience  Magic mushroom/ Ecuador for a detailed post. I did try some peyote while I was travelling in New Mexico, but the amount was too small to create any significant  altered state of consciousness other than flashes of lights popping up here and there in my head whenever there was sound generated in and around me. It was like sounds were manifesting as flashes lights as I laid on a couch and fell asleep soon after. i would like to point out that I made a thorough study of all these natural drugs prior to having the opportunity in trying them. I traveled the South West with Carlos Castaneda's paperbacks as my reading companion. I had read Ram Dass and Timothy Leary on their experiment with psychedelics and had a good idea of what I was getting into. Having had the opportunity to experiment with getting high in my younger days also kept me from freaking out when in a drug induced altered state of consciousness.

Today I rarely indulge myself in any form of drugs , not even Marijuana, the drug of my choice. Drug use is a serious offence in Malaysia and it is not worth the trouble.    

 

 

    

 

   

My updated two cents worth - The Malaysian Dilema

 So, I ask myself, Bahari, what have you got to say that is worth saying, where are you at, why are you here? Has all these writing and making lengthy posting into this Blog amount to anything worth your while thus far? What have you learned about yourself if this be the journal of self discovery, of Atma Bodha, of self inquiry. It has been over fifteen years now and you are still at it forcing yourself to put down thoughts and ideas often repeating over and over the same old story only in different words and format. What are you expecting, Bahari? What do you hope to find? Clarity? Into what are you looking for this clarity and how would you recognize when it is clear or not? Has it all been a waste of time and energy, a futile effort in order to justify your very wasteful state of existence for over 70 years? What have you learned that you do not already know from the very first time you decided to throw yourself into this mess you call a journey- of self discovery; of Who am I?

This very morning as I sat on the stairs in meditation with my eyes glued to the statue of the Goddess Kuan Yin that stands at the Kek Lok Si Temple, located at the foothill of the Penang Hill, I was asking these very same questions to myself until my mind went silent except for the sounds generated from all around me, of birds and dogs, of vehicles and children's laughter and yelling and shouting. It came to my mind that, yes, I have been wasting my time and there is nothing else that I can do about it but to just sit and enjoy wasting my time. The excruciating pains that emanates from the center of my chest is just a part and parcel of the physical me, my body, it is not The I, me. My body suffers aches and pains as it age and decay like all else that is sentient. My body will one day cease to be a problem when death claims its due and my mind with it. My mind, also not the I that is making all these observations, is not me. Just like the body the mind is just another tool, an instrument that helps me to navigate, communicate, deliberate and discern I manifest myself in forms and relationships to what is around me in this physical existence. What else is there to do except to just sit and watch the grass grow! 

Time! I just asked a young man from somewhere in Kelantan, a state on the East Coast and who ask to be my fb friend what he is doing right now. His reply was, nothing really. He is trying to change the subject by asking me where I am from. I replied, Penang and continued to ask him how there is nothing to do early this morning, (for a young man). I knew from the way he tied to changed the subject and make me the topic of his conversation, h is one of those who is just killing his time digging around for something to chew on and I have tried to entertain many in the past like this young man. I do this with the hope that I can be of help in cheering up or even offer an advice or two abut not wasting time in life and so forth. It is simply sad to listen to bored and aimless young men trying to make sense out of their lives. These young adults are the food and fodder for those seeking power in the government and religious standings; they become willing victims for lack of better things to do with their lives. They are not ignorant or stupid but they simply have very little choices and motivations to move forward as their lives it seems is like living in a cage. Their problem becomes compounded with the COVID19 scenario where traveling and social distancing becomes the norm; there it seems is no escape from this self imposed prison.

 Malaysia is on the road towards a collective human decadence whereby most of the people in the country are on the brink of either despair or simply giving up. The number of those struggling to keep the boat afloat in terms of social, economic and artistic or creative endeavor is very minimal and dwindling in number as these too are seeing a barren landscape ahead. Malaysia is today suffering from her own viruses in some cases more virulent and extremely infective compared to the COVID19 strain. This viruses have affected untold lives and the destruction of environments and wildlife; it is a cancerous virus and in dire need of a surgical removal. The virus most commonly encountered are the corrupted politicians and the extremist religious so called leaders, the unscrupulous tycoons of major enterprises and their lackeys. These are to name a few strains of viruses that plagues this country of ours and we as a nation are trapped by our own law abiding and civic consciousness inherent imbued nature as left us by our past colonial masters; we are trapped in a mental slavery. Malaysians are or used to be among the best when it comes to thoughts and ideas compared to other ASEAN countries perhaps only second to Singapore. Today  we are dragging our butts in the muddy waters of a failed government, failed economy and failed cohesive society, ( culturally as well as religious.) Malaysians needs more than a vaccine - Malaysians need to reboot our mode of thinking. We need tow ake up before we are rudely awaken. #malaysians,#asean,#consciousness,#covid19,#kelantan,#penang,#kuanyin       

       

  

We are drowning in information but starved in knowledge - JN

What is Brahman! ( The Vast) - That Thou Art... Tat Tvam Asi.

Through a process of negation, Vedanta teaches that Brahma is non-dual, one limitless fullness - that Brahman should be realized.

Pervading the world and extending beyond, illuminating the entire universe, Brahman shines like a glowing red hot lump of iron.

Atma abides in your heart as the light of consciousness, destroying ignorance, pervading the universe, sustaining all, and illuminating everything.

There is no drying, burning, wetting or cutting for me, pure consciousness even by real wind, fire, water or weapons, what to speak of imaginary ones.

For the insentient world, its appearance without consciousness, is impossible. Therefore I am all pervasive consciousness.

Even when ignorance appeare due to absence of inquiry, it is like mist in the space of consciousness that lasts until the sunrise of inquiry.

Evn when an observer of objects, an awareful witness, it is not my true nature. It is merely an incidental attribute of the waveless ocean of consciousness.

Existence alone (is-ness) alone is my nature, like space-ness. It is not an attribute. Because there is no existence other than me, it is no a category, (that has  members.).

The manifold nature the on reality could never have. Therefore I am indivisible, free from divisions of the world.

How far deep down the rabbit hole does one wishes to go in order to discover one's innate true nature, one's original being one's ground of primordial consciousness; a question that was raised in 'The MATRIX', the movie. How passionate are you to discover the fact that you are living in world of illusion and yearn to break free from this 'Net' to live a life of the real you? It is a question that haunts most awakened minds who ever walked the human existence and many have made the journey to the end and found self liberation, the enlightenment of the Buddhas and the Unity of One-ness with the Divine. Many who have tried but failed to get to the bottom of the mystery only to return to carry forward what was left behind in life after life. Then there are the masses that are oblivious to the awakening process, drowned in their own self deluded ignorance, trapped into the lures of this realm of mental formations and physical manifestations to forever evolve in cyclic existence of the herd mentality, following the leader, blindly being led to the slaughter houses at the end of the day; the Matrix existence.

We are living in a toxic waste dumpsite of our own creation a site that has been building in size ever since man discovered the wheel or perhaps even when he discovered the fire. When man discovered that he has the ability to overcome the lesser sentient beings and nature itself through his ingenuity, his arrogance grew and he became self centered to the point of every man for himself with the attitude of the devil may care.  Infected by greed, hate and ignorance became a malignant virus that threatens to destroy it very host sooner or latter.  Most of humanity that is enslaved by ignorance and succumbed to the herd mentality are impotent to do anything about the predicament we are in and can only give lip service in protest for anything attempted beyond this would incriminate against one by law or cast one as a pariah of society. Man has lost his passion and integrity to transcend the fate he is in, He has lost his pride as a warrior, a fighter, a divine ordained 'Khalifah', a seeker and defender of the truth,(the real), Man has become a pigeon that sits and wait to be fed at the right time of the day by the owner or the old retired fart who sits on the bench in the park; He has forgotten that he has wings that fly him anywhere and find the food at his own leisure. Instead he depends on ''Grab' for his transportation to get to the grocery store. Man is so removed from his divine nature that he needs to look up the dictionary to find out what the word divine means.

Most religion and spiritual school of today will acknowledge that ignorance is the cause of human suffering and that knowledge removes ignorance and thus puts an end to suffering. Yet how many truly know or even understands of this simple truth and how many would attempt to put this truth to practice. Most of us have practically resigned to the fact that we are a sorry lot too far damaged to be repaired, like Humpty Dumpty had fallen and no matter how many King's horses or King's men could ever put us back together again. In this day and age of information super-highway, of high tech and artificial intelligence, we humans have found ourselves on the brink of a catastrophic collapse, we are like a sinking ship that is full of state of the art equipment that is of no use because these tools and equipment did not come with a operating manual. The ship is sinking simply because no one knows what a screw driver is used for. The acquiring of knowledge takes dedication, commitment and work, that is why we always keep asking our children if they had done their homework.

Definition. Jnana is knowledge, which refers to any cognitive event that is correct and true over time. ... Jñāna yoga is the path towards attaining jnana. It is one of the three classical types of yoga mentioned in Hindu philosophies, the other two being karma yoga and bhakti.

As we age and often looking back at what or where we have been in this life we begin to wonder more and more what is wall about. At least for those of us who have the discerning mind about the path we have taken all the while believing that we are headed towards something or somewhere that would be our final destination. Most of us are guided by some form of lesson or teachings handed down from our ancestors, our forefathers and some of us simply fall into the groove of the existing rut called cultural ground of our society. Whatever religious doctrine or spiritual school that we find our self we soon realize that we are being led by the herd mentality of following the crowd, being inclusive with the norm and fitting into the groove of the common ground. For most this is perfectly okay and as a matter of fact preferable than having to think and explore beyond the confines of the box we find ourselves. This freedom from having to spend the time in seeking for the real as opposed to the unreal allows us the freedom to explore the more the pleasures of the physical life. In this circumstances our spiritual growth is stagnant and taken for granted. Because I have observed the precepts of the religion I will go to heaven when I die; The Book said so and the priests and Imam has guaranteed so; off course, 'the devil is in the details'.If one finds the time and commitment to delve deeper into the teachings one would soon begin to discover that having strong faith alone does not guarantee one's liberation form this world of illusion of Maya. To have lived 70 odd years of my life and still having doubts about he nature of who I am and what happens when I die is no small detail to grapple with. I could off course accept the teachings of Good Book on good faith and hope that it was a right choice; blind faith. 

It is not that i have  lost total faith in God or religion and I do not come to this conclusion out of fear of divine retribution in the after life. I have said time and again in the past I would rather not go to heaven or hell, but instead I would like to simply go home to where I had originally come from and if it means returning to the divine nature of the universe or God, so be it. It would be an insult to my intelligence if I would be kept in perpetual punishment for my transgression in this life after I die. What is karma and what is sin and what is life without karma or sin? The answers to these abstruse questions are in having direct knowledge and understanding of them and this takes effort and work to attain. We can keep asking questions as much as we can till the ultimate one;is there a God? If there is, what is His purpose in creating this life as it is, why the chaos and turmoil sprinkled by a dab of illusory fun and pleasure. Why allow for war and pestilence, corruption and most debilitating of all why so much waste? I refuse to accept that it is due to our human condition having free will and so forth, nor would I accept the excuse that the devil has something to do with it. No Sir! I have resigned myself to hold fast to the God of Love, of cOMPASSION OF gRACE AND mERCY! and my God would not have allowed for His creation to go awry, out of wack and approaching self annihilation while there is so much greed, hatred and suffering among His 'best of creation,' along the way. 

One of the most valuable things any person can learn is the art of using the knowledge and experience of others.

Napoleon Hill