Rambling on...

 I am running out of options as to how I intend to live my life from here on amidst the Pandemic and getting old and feeling the fragility of the body and mind catching up to me.  The doors are closing fast one after another or so it seems and I cannot step out of the room I am caged in due to external circumstances beyond my control such as the Covid lock down and travel restrictions, economic uncertainties and the need of my children and not to mention the slowly decadent of my physical body if not my mind due to ageing. A Part and parcel of growing old that every one has to endure in the course of life, some gave in much earlier than others and settle for getting ready for the afterlife by frequenting the mosques and temples, while others keep themselves busy pursuing their hobbies and baby sitting their grand children while counting rosaries in one hand. I paint, wrtie, read, and surf the Internet which covers the You Tube, the Netflix and Face Book. I have been devoting my time towards the useless and senseless pursuit of the unreal, the impermanent, the illusions  just to keep myself from falling into the rut of mediocrity like most of my fellow man. It is not that there is anything wrong with being among the majority of the mediocre club or the cub of reluctant messiahs and wannabe Roshi and Yogis, nor is there any need really to become the top notch scientist altering the genetic nature of the species or making the climate dance according to our tune , no, there is no right or wrong, except that being endowed with the mind and along with it the freedom of choice to will this mind into whatever infinite possibilities that a man can dream and conjure, it is a shame to die simply like a broken piece of record stuck in a rut due to a faulty player.  

I can keep on writing like this as i have been doing for most of the past thirty odd years of my life, documenting, recording, making observations and taking actions whenever and wherever possible, or I can make a genuine move towards a change in my life style and go for broke. What i have t loose is mainly security , the comfort of a roof on top of my head and food on the table and perhaps some sense of joy in watching my children drift towards the same rut I had fallen into. As most adult children today, mine are beyond my words of advice as their minds have drifted far into the pull of the inevitable rut called  your normal daily existence; again nothing wrong with that except what a waste of potentialities and possibilities. Throughout the history of mankind we have be told of how tremendous a faculty the Human Mind is and that it Created the Universe and helps to keep and maintain its creation and will wrap it up when the time is right...and then a New Beginning for the Universal Mind too is in the state of evolution towards Complete Perfection, Complete and Perfect Enlightenment 

The path towards liberation of the Spirit from the physical and mental formations is a journey we all take and in the best of our ability and with complete determination we make the commitment to take upon this journey; it is called the journey towards self discovery, the hourney of unveiling all the layers of blankets of ignorance and revealing the inner sanctum to the the energy of the sun. It is  meditation at its highest level, it s what some call meditation a subtle death. A part of you becomes erased from your unconscious mind, you become less burdened by past memories or handle them with complete understanding; through acceptance and letting go or detachment; I am not this,none of this is truly who I am. What has been, has been and what will be will be, what is now is the potential state of consciousness that can is able to bring forth to light the path that would lead towards self liberation, or in short,; look within and find the answers for yourself. What is here and Now in this moment is mind expressing and fingers tapping about a subject that is not much discussed like answering to the question of who am I?  

This morning feeling feverish after getting my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine after a long wait since June of this year.and thanks to my son Karim who accompanied me making all transactions smooth through his personality and charm. So ends my reluctance to get vaccinated but I still do not fully accept the manner in which the government forced me to take it. oh well...what is freedom or the right to stand for your principle in making decisions that governs your personal health and now most I talk to are going for the third shot! Will we become vac-addicts if this Covid situation prolongs? Truth be told most of us have no clue as to what the vaccine does as many are still becoming victims t the virus even after being give the shots and it must be staggering to even imagine how much it all cost to provide billions of needles, and whatever serum, not to mention the cost of delivery and the lock down; it is a very expensive affair all round. Who financially benefits from all these? Maybe we aught to know. Fear is the key and money is the name of the game.  

Herein lies the paradox of life when you have reached a point whereby you know you are transcendent, gone, gone beyond the concept of the word gone, closer to God or whoever that you worship and this world is an illusion that is mind created. Yet her I am still troubled by the details of the how and whys of the Pandemic and suffering physically from the very vaccine that I just had, headache, upset stomach, low energy level, close to depression and its alright! A few close friend and relatives have died at a very early age and I watch wondering if my time is up too as I had felt when the Covid virus had its two odd weeks choke hold on me but I survived. I was not afraid of the death itself but the discomfort aches and pains through my entire body was what I could not bear. I often blurt out to myself in anguish, "Die already, why don't you!" But the Universe, Allah has more in store for the sinner or so it seems. "For one thing, " You have yet to full discover who you are, have you?  You have yet to figure why you were here in the first place as you always insisted all along."