So, I ask myself, Bahari, what have you got to say that is worth saying, where are you at, why are you here? Has all these writing and making lengthy posting into this Blog amount to anything worth your while thus far? What have you learned about yourself if this be the journal of self discovery, of Atma Bodha, of self inquiry. It has been over fifteen years now and you are still at it forcing yourself to put down thoughts and ideas often repeating over and over the same old story only in different words and format. What are you expecting, Bahari? What do you hope to find? Clarity? Into what are you looking for this clarity and how would you recognize when it is clear or not? Has it all been a waste of time and energy, a futile effort in order to justify your very wasteful state of existence for over 70 years? What have you learned that you do not already know from the very first time you decided to throw yourself into this mess you call a journey- of self discovery; of Who am I?
This very morning as I sat on the stairs in meditation with my eyes glued to the statue of the Goddess Kuan Yin that stands at the Kek Lok Si Temple, located at the foothill of the Penang Hill, I was asking these very same questions to myself until my mind went silent except for the sounds generated from all around me, of birds and dogs, of vehicles and children's laughter and yelling and shouting. It came to my mind that, yes, I have been wasting my time and there is nothing else that I can do about it but to just sit and enjoy wasting my time. The excruciating pains that emanates from the center of my chest is just a part and parcel of the physical me, my body, it is not The I, me. My body suffers aches and pains as it age and decay like all else that is sentient. My body will one day cease to be a problem when death claims its due and my mind with it. My mind, also not the I that is making all these observations, is not me. Just like the body the mind is just another tool, an instrument that helps me to navigate, communicate, deliberate and discern I manifest myself in forms and relationships to what is around me in this physical existence. What else is there to do except to just sit and watch the grass grow!
Time! I just asked a young man from somewhere in Kelantan, a state on the East Coast and who ask to be my fb friend what he is doing right now. His reply was, nothing really. He is trying to change the subject by asking me where I am from. I replied, Penang and continued to ask him how there is nothing to do early this morning, (for a young man). I knew from the way he tied to changed the subject and make me the topic of his conversation, h is one of those who is just killing his time digging around for something to chew on and I have tried to entertain many in the past like this young man. I do this with the hope that I can be of help in cheering up or even offer an advice or two abut not wasting time in life and so forth. It is simply sad to listen to bored and aimless young men trying to make sense out of their lives. These young adults are the food and fodder for those seeking power in the government and religious standings; they become willing victims for lack of better things to do with their lives. They are not ignorant or stupid but they simply have very little choices and motivations to move forward as their lives it seems is like living in a cage. Their problem becomes compounded with the COVID19 scenario where traveling and social distancing becomes the norm; there it seems is no escape from this self imposed prison.
Malaysia is on the road towards a collective human decadence whereby most of the people in the country are on the brink of either despair or simply giving up. The number of those struggling to keep the boat afloat in terms of social, economic and artistic or creative endeavor is very minimal and dwindling in number as these too are seeing a barren landscape ahead. Malaysia is today suffering from her own viruses in some cases more virulent and extremely infective compared to the COVID19 strain. This viruses have affected untold lives and the destruction of environments and wildlife; it is a cancerous virus and in dire need of a surgical removal. The virus most commonly encountered are the corrupted politicians and the extremist religious so called leaders, the unscrupulous tycoons of major enterprises and their lackeys. These are to name a few strains of viruses that plagues this country of ours and we as a nation are trapped by our own law abiding and civic consciousness inherent imbued nature as left us by our past colonial masters; we are trapped in a mental slavery. Malaysians are or used to be among the best when it comes to thoughts and ideas compared to other ASEAN countries perhaps only second to Singapore. Today we are dragging our butts in the muddy waters of a failed government, failed economy and failed cohesive society, ( culturally as well as religious.) Malaysians needs more than a vaccine - Malaysians need to reboot our mode of thinking. We need tow ake up before we are rudely awaken. #malaysians,#asean,#consciousness,#covid19,#kelantan,#penang,#kuanyin
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