Islam, Christianity and Buddhism- I am That, I am.

It will not be too long before Islam will become the major religion in the world despite all the adversities that has been and is still being thrown at it by those who are threatened by its very existence.I feel more and more of the younger generation embracing the religion out of their volition especially those who has traveled widely and are exposed to world religions and cultures. These new converts will make the vanguard of the future Muslims and most are coming from the Western countries including the United States. These are the 'disenchanted spirits' and lost souls as well as culturally demoralized individuals of their own home and upbringing.

The Catholic Church is being infested by moral wrong doings of its clergies from the highest to the regular priests with child abuse and pedophilia and Satanic worship among the accusations thrown at it. What Jesus has done for  for Christianity throughout  its history is today being undermined by internal discord and moral abuses. I am not advocating Islam against Christianity or any other religion for that matter, not my vocation nor intention. What my believe and understanding of the various religions of the world is so limited as to be in any position to pass any judgement of one over the other and as far as I am concern all religions no matter what or where it originates from is intended for good. The purpose of having a religious faith is to have some form of coherence over the matter of the human spirit, it also keeps man from  going insane in trying to make sense out of his daily life; at least for those who are on the road towards awakening; those who seek liberation from this cycle of life, death and rebirth.

I will never attain to fully understand religion albeit Islam or Christianity, Hinduism or whatever have you, but I know that I can come to a better understanding of my spirituality, my own self discovered path towards what i deem as the truth. I believe in a 'God' or a Higher Being by whatever name He is called that I am answerable to, this Ultimate Supreme Consciousness, is to me that which makes a spiritual sense and it is very personal. However as a Buddhist by practice I am inclined to believe that all this is still an illusion as much as I am an illusion. As such, or so long as I exist in this form and am not able to detach or discard myself from this physical and mental state I have to abide by the same rules as the rest of humanity; I have to live and play by the rules. These are the rules that I have to understand at the deepest level possible as the fate of my souls rides on this, what else is there more higher a purpose for being alive than to be fully awakened to the mysteries of belief and faith in the human spirit. 

I am here to serve, to serve humanity in the name of God,(Allah), the Higher State of Consciousness, whatever. I am here to become useful for the benefit of sentient beings if not the Planet itself, in no matter how small a service i can offer; this is my role, this is my purpose, this is my covenant; I am not here to be served. This I hold to be the truth although not the whole truth of the purpose of my existence, there is more to my being here in this form and playing this role for nearly 70 years now and perhaps i will be able to discover to realize the whole truth before i exit the stage in my final cut. Right or wrong is a sickness of the mind, the Buddha is said to have said, and for whatever it is worth I have played my part as best i could and am able to share my experience through this Blogging. 




















 

Splendorous Light Within...

-In The Beginning...Spirituality was Before Religion---
In ancient times .. human spirituality enjoyed a sublime Awareness of Oneness, with Divine Being. This Awareness of Oneness sprang from our own Divine-Self awareness. Before visiting here on the earth-plane, when we existed in what is currently called a heavenly etheric dimension we were fully aware of our Divine-Essence, and we brought this awareness with us (this powerful Self expression) when arriving into the uniqueness of this Earth-living."
from --'Splendorous Light Within'--
available all over.

I cam upon this posting on the group link that I have been following and the whole lengthy article is like a nail hammered home into what my mind has been trying to express but could not find better expression. I could have downloaded the whole article here but decided that it might be too long and infringe upon some technical ruling about posting someone else's ideas. I like what is said very much though and so I am still posting a few excerpts here just to share some similarities of what i have been trying to find in my practice and understanding. Anyone having followed my Blog over the years will by now see how my mind has changed over the years from one belief to another from one understanding to another, however I have yet to arrive at a final commitment towards what truly is my faith or how do I accept God in my life. Hence I will be sharing a few excerpts from the article although I  have no idea of except what is quoted at the end of the posting.

"Religion is one of the poorest ways to feel God.
The metaphysics of native indigenous cultures feels Oneness in God more deeply - "

Having being born and raised a Muslim and Buddhist in a rural rustic community before electricity was available, I was exposed to an almost primitive environment where religion and superstitious beliefs played a a critical role. Fear of the unseen and the unknown was a part of our daily phenomenal experience and we had learned to deal with. Hence it is not a simple matter of letting go when it comes to matters pertaining to or inherent believe system. It has taken me many years of self exploration and digging into the nature of my believe that I have evolved to this level of acceptance of what is truly right understanding of who or what I truly am. This years of Blogging tells part of the story on this journey, my struggle to find out and it may not as yet be over.

"This ONE is the infinite,divine invisible Eternal Consciousness.
In our oneness with Divine Being we Also are infinite, invisible
and eternal, but in our Individual expression, as Light Beings,
we manifest our individual self-hood as finite and local beings.
We are in fact a ‘Center’ of God-Consciousness, and because God is Eternal, we are too."

This is one of the most positive all inclusive views i  hae come across thus far in my search for understanding, it claims not to belong to any one particular faith or religion but encapsulates all. I am not saying that it is one hundred percent valid but thus far it is one of the most viable, makes sense and closest to what i envision.  In the words of Terence McKenna.

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms.
Terence McKenna

 





  











 

If Belief Patterns Reality -Jean Huston.

""Belief patterns reality." an off the cuff statement I extracted from a Jean Huston talk which I thought is pretty profound is its simplicity. What you believe, you create and how many of us really believe that and how often do we think about it as we go about our lives day to day doing what tis that we are doing fulfilling our obligations as humans. In my quest for a thorough understanding of who or what I am over the years I have noticed the gradual transition of the mind from one belief into another as I get older and the human psyche evolves around me. The knowledge and wisdom I have gathered and my own insights and understandings has brought me to this juncture where  old belief systems are giving way to a more developed and thoroughly analyzed and investigated ideas of how the human mind operates affecting life in and around me. Scientific research and spiritual transcendence are merging into one new paradigm replacing all the old belief that had been held on to as the truth. 
Religious dogma and principles are gradually being shelved for good in most cases where the latest in scientific discoveries of the inner workings of the human brain and genetic codes have replaced most religious revelations and assumed truth or so it seems. However God is not dead, not yet and for those like me of the old school God is very much alive closer to home more so than ever before. What science is revealing only helps to confirm the existence of a higher being, a super mind that governs the whole. It is like peeking into a microscope and discovering the innate nature of being to be an essence of that which is the source of all existence. We are consciousness itself, even the scientists are getting around to accepting this notion as they venture closer and closer to the core of our being and unraveling the mysteries of our inner workings and how it relates to our external physical nature.  We are more than meets the eye.

Mankind has arrived by leaps and bounds at the very edge of the precipe where he is challenged to take the leap of faith into a new dimension of existence, a new mode of perception and new from of belief systems if he is to survive the next millennia. Even if the old Gods are being swept away from the human consciousness and understanding, a new one is in the making. mankind will elect a new God that will rule the whole of the human race collectively and this God has yet to be named. The new God will be one that is the end product of our collective consciousness, with no attachments or identity, not related to any religious denomination but its own self. The God of so called modern man ia a God of the collective human mind generated from eons of evolution of the spirit through trials and tribulations of the collective human spirit and the scientific discoveries. Unlike the Gods of old this god will not be identified with any race, color or creed, no institutionalized ideologies nor adherence to symbols and dogmas; the God of tomorrow will hold the universal truth to be that of Unconditional Love and Compassion towards all sentient beings on the face of this Planet seen or unseen. 

Will come a time when man will stop bickering over who is right or wrong and whose faith and belief system works better; man will face life with a unified determinism that the survival of the whole is tantamount to the highest divinity. If 'belief were to pattern reality', then man will have to renovate, upgrade and modify his belief system in accordance with the call of the whole and not the national, religious or individual call. If we do not obliterate this our planet with a nuclear holocaust or end it with natural disasters through our wanton negligence of the environment, we might be able to save ourselves and move into the next phase of our evolutionary path, where the merger of science and spirituality becomes symbiotic  reality.

          

The Noetic Mind?-Atma Vichara..

" From the Greek noēsis/ noētikos, meaning inner wisdom, direct knowing, or subjective understanding. As defined by the philosopher William James in 1902, noetic refers to "states of insight into depths of truth unplumbed by the discursive intellect."

After all the insightful thoughts and revelations of our ancestors throughout our human history, we are still groping in the dark, not knowing or having any idea of where we are headed for or where we came from. Suddenly we are here despite what science and evolution theorists say. In spite of what religions have to say or whatever Philosophers believe, we as a human race is on the brink of extinction as we will annihilate ourselves simply because we can and intend to. It  sounds like a doomsday preacher calling out the End of Days, but sadly enough it is not far from the truth. It takes short of a miracle to get humanity back on track heading towards peace and stabilization. There is no words strong enough to spell out the urgency that we face, we do not need much more convincing than has already been exposed to; we got to be really  insensitive towards our lot if we ignore this while living our lives out in denial. 

Humanity has its ways of standing up to adversities in the past and many has come forward in out times of need to act as buffers and providers for those in need. Today we are in an urgent need for a greater number yet of man and women of good faith and and clarity of hearts to step forward on to the stage and take the role of a caretaker and preserver of this our whole Planet and every sentient that lives in it. Today more than ever we need to throw off our cloaks of ignorance and apathy towards our fellow man and the fate of this planet we call home. We are watching insects being wiped out and fishes from the largest whales to the tiny plankton being systematically removed by our very own waste products. The climate change is gathering momentum as scientists reveals the true nature of what is curing in and around the world. We need to  seriously look deep into ourselves and ask the same question over and over again, who am I and what is my role on this stage of human evolution and the life of this Planet. More critically, what will leave behind me as a legacy for my children and theirs after them

Let us not walk or crawl off this stage before we have at the very least established to ourselves what roles we played to the betterment of our fellow creatures and this Planet of our while we shared its lodging. Let us at the very least have a glimpse of self realization as to who we ttruly are and take that small step towards making it right for the rest of humanity, that which we deem as wrong or unjustified. Let us at the very least awaken to the reality around us that we are not alone and that we can together offer make the changes much needed today. We are each and everyone of us are endowed with the body, mind and spirit, we are the gifted souls that the Highest of    Most High had created to take charge of this Planet we call home; let it be so. 



  

Collective Consciousness.

Your Qiblat is the source off light within you, your true target. The Heart is the temple of the Living God and within it resides the the Luminous Spirit, the Essence that is God. This is the Divine Light out of which you were created and is still alive on this plane of existence; don't let this light be extinguished. When you pray, look to this point in you that is your Maker; you do not need to go to Makkah or Madinah to feel any closer to Him. The House of God that Abraham and Ishmael built in the middle of nowhere in the Arabian Desert is carried with you wherever you be and whatever your position is life is; this is true of all the three religions of the Book, The Children of Abraham. Allah is All Knowing and All Merciful, The Fair and Just.Humanity especially the, The Jews, The Christians and the Muslims will one day face the consequences of the decadence of the human quality of life to  such a low level around the world that the worth of a life is the cost of a bullet. I seriously think we as a whole if not individually have some explaining to do to our Maker when all is said and done.
, 
Tat Tvam Asi... That, I Am.
Some scientists says, we are holographic images floating around in the empty space of time itself. Some say we were brought here from outer space somewhere and others insist we were Apes at a certain period of our evolution; nothing wrong with that, better than be evolved from a bull frog. but the question still remains as to who or what are we, who am I, what am I made of, capable of am I created in the image of my Lord, like it is said in the Scriptures, and yes, free will and the rest of it. I am omni science, loaded with all the knowledge and wisdom accumulated along the way, some lost to memory while some remains as my self identification of who I am presently in this form, me looking at myself wondering what or who is truly real in nature, "I am that, I am..where form is emptiness and emptiness is form...God spoke unto Moses. 

Sadly enough the human suffering the Planet Itself all around us is gathering momentum more and more intense and critical; mankind will not survive too long if  there is a major shift in the human psyche as a whole towards healing and respiration; man has to come together as one mind, a collective mind and will it so that we can save and make this Planet more of a heaven to live in, this is our legacy for those who are inheriting what we leave behind. Let's join our hands together and take this journey of self realization to a limit uncharted before; let us all as one awaken to ourselves, in body mind and spirit. For those who seek for the same answers to the question of life, the fate of Humanity and the rest of the Planet bullshit time si over , it is time to act, do whatever it takes   in an effort towards saving this Planet we call home, this form we call 
human being or being human from a premature demise.

There are not enough or us who have attained Awakening and those who do lack the opportunity to share their wisdom with those who could use them, we talk of nothing in particular, and our mind is filled with videos of YouTube and fb and this is how we stay in touch; we chat, we show what we ate and where and how cute our children and grandchildren are, but we truly share very little, but little as it is is more than enough to shake the world if the Collective Human Mind is unleashed synchronized  like an orchestral music winding up in crescendo towards a climactic end, we can move mountains if we have to. Yes we can! We are geared towards this event but ever so slowly even with the advent of the computer, we are still dragging our feet, those of us who have touched upon the subject along this path, we have chosen, and there are many of us at all levels of humanity; wwe can bring a few more towards the 'Intention',  of our Collective Consciousness, 

We crap on the same plate we eat.

As a Muslim, I am sad to say that my faith has been shaken as if hit by a tornado, sending me reeling into outer space, wondering if there is a God or if I am lost, as I have always been in a state of limbo in ignorance. I feel elated sometimes when I pray silently while sitting on my pillows in the wee hours of the morning; I even feel the Divine within me touching my being. However, when my thoughts take flight over the earthly scenario of what is going on in my life as well as in the world, I feel hopeless. I sense that the God in whom I have placed my faith has abandoned humanity, if not me personally. Moreover, I feel my existence is merely to witness humanity's pain and suffering, the planet's decadence, and the demise of species becoming extinct one after another. There is no one to blame, and how can I blame my Maker? After all, He has granted Man free will to choose his own fate.

 

From my personal observation, Islam is a religion of the afterlife; it seems that life on this earth and time are just a passing phase, borrowed time to prepare mankind for the eternal afterlife. This is acceptable as long as the Earth does not suffer consequences from this transitional or 'transit lounge' mentality that shows little or no care for the temporary space occupied, leaving it worse than when they first arrived. It is akin to a park after being used by a beer-guzzling party of college students. As much as Muslims would deny it, the fate of the environment—the very future of this planet—is of very little concern to them, knowingly or otherwise; it is, after all, a transit lounge. "Dunia ini hak mereka, Akhirat kita punya," a common Malay Muslim saying meaning this world is theirs, ours is the afterlife.  "Dunia ini hanya sementara, Akhirat, selamanya," meaning this life is temporary, the hereafter is eternal.

 

Most religions, including Islam, consider heaven to be located out there somewhere, where one ends up in the afterlife if one is deserving. Having lived in accordance with the dictates of one's faith, one is rewarded with a resting place far removed from this Earth. Thus, my point is that caring for the Earth and its well-being is never and will never be of paramount importance to those who live for the afterlife; it is not their fault, however. I have grown up among people who have a disdainful, if not nonchalant, view of the fate of the environment, just like the beer guzzlers in the park. For these people, there will always be someone else to clean up after them. In Islam, it is said that cleanliness is next to Godliness, but from my personal experience, this is far from the truth in practice. It is not simply a matter of being lazy; it has become a mental state after hundreds of years of believing in the same principle or dogma without a deeper understanding of the ramifications.

 

Islam is also said to have declared that mankind was created to be the vicegerent or caretakers of this planet, in charge of the whole solar system as well as the unseen. If so, man has failed miserably. Instead of being the caretaker and caregiver, man has become a self-server and ultimately the destroyer of that which he is charged to care for, simply because he has lost his sense of priorities and misunderstood his appointed calling by his Maker. For the religious, the purpose of being here is to live for the afterlife, to live in such a way that when he dies, he enters the Kingdom of Heaven, regardless of having left behind a mess of a planet spiraling out of control due to neglect and wanton disregard for checks and balances. Instead of being the cure and caregiver, man has become the very cancerous virus that is slowly but surely destroying his own habitat—his home.  

   

I am an Artist-- after 70 years.

I have almost completed five acrylic paintings, 3'x3'  and two on a 3x4 feet in size, except for the final touches on each which will happen as i move along with my 2019 project and that being getting some new updated works ready for my solo exhibition at the Sri Mutiara Art Gallery or better known among locals as Soo Kaw's place. What used to be the Rope Walk area at Aceh Street kitty corner from what today is a beautiful well kept park is where the gallery is located. It is one of the most respected gallery in Georgetown, run by an artist and one time Art teacher, Mr. Khaw Soo Kaw. One of the most passionate artist and Art lover who has dedicated his life to Art. I am honored to have been given a slot to show my works in August  and the opening day being on the 11th, of August a day before my 70th.Birthday, the same day of Aidl Adzha or Hari Raya Haji. 

With the help of Mr. lebeene Khai's sponsorship in the purchasing of new art materials I am able to have twenty pre-mounted canvasses and panting materials. Lee Has always been my patron and i am indebted to his patronage. This exhibition is dedicated to my close friend and brother who trust and believe in me. I am privileged to have a close friendship with his family. I met Lee one afternoon at the Penang Little Street Market where he ended buying a few pieces of my mono-prints and our friendship grew from there. I have promised Lee who is today the Chairman of the Penang State Art Gallery that I would donate all my Sketch Books to the Gallery if they would accept them. I this way I know these works of mine will be well cared for and might be a source of aid to those interested to know aht an art's life is all about at least for one artist. And so, in this year of the Pig I will 'Pig-Out!' with as much paintings as I can.

It is my hope that this year will bring some creative energy that will carry me through to the end. I owe it to many and especially to myself to walk my talk or my Blog and share the best of what my mind is capable of. This is my Art, the Art of Living as an Artist. To quote Star Trek, "To boldly go where no man has gone before... to seek New Frontiers...yadaa yadda! Being an artist for me is more than just being able to be a masterly painter, or a master sculptor, it is about being able to tell a story about your life that others may share, to set your own standards in life even if they are contrary to the norm, to dare touch the forbidden and transgress the divine mandates; it is matter of testing all limits and write a conclusion coherently at the end of the day, where those that read can take lessons from them. I would like to leave a legacy of my own as an artist.

Good Bye Thay! (Rev. THich Nhat Hahn).

If you believe in it then it is as it should be and if you don't it is all up for grabs as nothing in this universe will materialize as you expect it to unless you have a greater input into making it happen. A strong believe backed up with a complete faith in yourself is the catalyst that can trigger a higher consciousness that transcends your normal perceptions, In a meditative state of consciousness one has to be able to surrender completely into the unknown or the subconscious mind where there is stored the vast database of information of your past present and future that can only be accessed by a mind that is completely free from any form of inhibitions. No fear nor doubts, no assumptions nor precognitions not an iota of a sense of  a preconceived idea or conditioning. One is like a tabula rasa or a clean slate ready to receive information as they are conjured from the depth of the subconscious. With an immovable belief in your own free will, your own selfless self, you can tap into the vast reservoir of hidden wisdom within you at no cost, cause it is yours to begin with.

Thich Nhat Hahn, the 92 years old Vietnamese Buddhist monk is willing himself to die, true to the ways of the ancient ones of the Buddhist Chan or Zen tradition, This is not right, it is like committing suicide meditatively, like what the historical Buddha did when he sat under the Bo tree for 40 days not eating or drinking. The Buddha had an excuse and he was willing to die fulfilling his intention and that being to find out the way out of this cycle of life death and rebirth, this Samsaric existence. Thay as he is more popularly known has no valid excuse to die other than as a proof that it can be done, that is to fully conscious of the moment of death; it is not an impossibility as many Thai Buddhist monks has been known to accomplish this feat. 

At a Buddhist temple outside Hue, Vietnam’s onetime capital, 92-year-old Thich Nhat Hanh has come to quietly “transition,” as his disciples put it. The ailing celebrity monk—quoted by Presidents and hailed by Oprah Winfrey as “one of the most influential spiritual leaders of our times”—is refusing medication prescribed after a stroke in 2014. He lies in a villa in the grounds of the 19th century Tu Hieu Pagoda, awaiting liberation from the cyclical nature of existence.

Karma

Buddhists regard death as a transition. The deceased person will be reborn to a new life, whose quality will be the result of their karma.

This produces two problems. We don't know what the next life is going to be like. If the next life is going to be even worse than the life that the sick person is presently enduring it would clearly be wrong on a utilitarian basis to permit euthanasia, as that shortens the present bad state of affairs in favour of an even worse one.

The second problem is that shortening life interferes with the working out of karma, and alters the karmic balance resulting from the shortened life.

I had the privilege of doing two Vipassana Retreats at Green Gulch Farm Zen Buddhist Center led by Thay who on one occasion decided to elect me as his 'Bell master' as he called it. This was as a 'punishment' for my ringing the large bell outside the Zendo while the rest of the community was meditating in the meditation hall. It is a story i might have related in my sometime in the past as to why i was ringing the big bell instead of sitting along with the others like I was supposed to. It did not got me into trouble as I had anticipated, instead I was made a 'Bell master', my job was to hit the bell at Thay's lecture every fifteen minutes as a pause where everyone would take a deep breath before continuing with the lecture.

I have a whole lot of love and respect for this small Vietnamese monk who can move others simply by being himself. No pretensions, no self aggrandizement despite his fame as a Spiritual Leader known to many around the world. I will miss him when he departs from this life and I will always remember his words for me when i was alone with him for a private talk, "Be yourself, you are doing just fine as you are."  This entry is dedicated to a great soul who had at one time touched my heart and made me appreciate better of who I am. It was an honor to have walked with him from the green Gulch Zendo all the way down through the fields to the Pacific Ocean at Muir Beach. May you become a Buddha in your next life or return as a Bodhisattva yet to lead more of us towards awakening and liberation. The world will loose a great soul with gentle and soft voice that had taught humanity about Loving Kindness and Compassion. 

 

The rambling just keeps you alive and awake..

And what good have i done today that is worth to ponder upon as a justification for my very existence on this Planet and the answer to that is that I did not do anything bad that would warrant any form of punishment, well not that i can think of or know about. I always thought that, if you cannot help me make it through the day, at least try not to stand in my way for no good reason. And the mind goes on like this off and on until I manage to shut it down for a few minutes through meditation When the mind comes to a rest, there you find silence and peacefulness and if you are, in this tranquil state of mind you might find yourself seeing new or fresh thoughts arising from the depth of your consciousness or as some might say from your subconscious mind, only this happens while you are consciously aware, like you are watching these thoughts arising out of the blue. Most of the time, these thoughts are positive in nature and some even divine or spiritual in nature,   the divine matrix as some would suggest and they make you feel elated and there is a sense of satisfaction and gratefulness. This sometimes even makes you want to say thank you to whatever you feel is responsible for your experiencing these feelings; you pray to your Maker.

These raptures do not last long and usually it is because you cannot hold on to this state of tranquility or transcendent for too long due to factors beyond your control, such as bad backs or getting sabotaged by mental formations that are egoistic in nature. Religiously, you would say that you are being dislodged from your meditative state by whisperings of the demons or devils, the children of Mara, that does not like to see you making any headway towards enlightenment. But if you persist and maintain your quietude and rest upon the silence state, just watching what comes and goes you might catch a glimpse of reality as it truly is and realize that there is nothing to it or perhaps everything that it is. Either way, your mind is put on hold or goes through a shift of gear and you have an insight or an intuition into whatever it is that has been nagging at you. Whether you did good or bad for the day does not really makes much difference after all as it is all a perception and if you believe in what you perceive, it materializes 
sooner or later as a reality if you don't well it is still just a perception that is like just a cloud passing by appearing and disappearing in the vast consciousness of your true nature. And it is 3;00 am. The witching hour, time to sit and perhaps fall asleep.   

Bruce LIpton's - Epigenetic Control

After joining the Gregg Braden and Bruce Lipton's Group on fb I came upon Bruce Lipton's talk on You Tube entitled "The Biology of Belief" (full lecture). Upon listening to this lecture I realized that what he was talking about has been what my mind has been suggesting all along, only am not able to lay it all out scientifically. Yes, listen to this man if you get a chance and you will have good idea of where i am coming from over the years as my Blogging would testify. All the ideas and spiritual practices that i have been accumulating and putting to practice for myself, from various forms of meditation to daily mental observations of how my mind functions and how my body reacts and so forth, my auto suggestion techniques and experimental take on life has been aimed with the same intention at taking charge of my mental and biological state and not allowing for the external environment and circumstances dictates. I am the master of my own destiny as I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness, my body speech and mind and the rest of it. This has been my mantra for years and today as i listen to scientific talks related to this subject I feel like I have been on the right track all along, for what it is worth.

If I live fruitfully to be a hundred I would be grateful but if i die tomorrow i would be happy too, as I have always said to myself often enough: I have lived life, the best and the worse. It is four in the morning right now and here I am writing this to who knows who out there and for what? If by chance my writing this touches someone's heart and mind in some positive way I am happy if not I am still happy cause I have been able to share my thoughts with myself. It is said that everytime you express your thoughts and feelings you are telling your own story and if it is the truth you are made to become stronger in character if it is a lie then you learn to make amends and mend your ways. It is also said that he who justifies does not convince, not even to himself, this is not a justification at least not anymore, don't need to anymore, I am as I am, don't need to be any less or more than who I already am. I don't need nor am i looking for any approvals to being any different than who I have evolved to become albeit from family relatives or friends. 

"You control the genes, the genes does not control you!" Bruce Lipton's revelation in his lecture is a breath of fresh air for me as it confirms my belief that I am the master, ( of my body speech and mind). The science of Epigenetic Control- control above the gene- Perception controls the signal and signal controls the genetic change. "You are not a victim of your genes because you control your genes." Recent discoveries says that DNA is not your identity.
"If you look for the disease you can create the disease through Epigenetics." - Gregg Baden.
" Perception controls genes and you change your perception you can change the readings of your genes." 
Perception controls Behaviour.
Perception controls Genes,
Perception rewrites Genes.
Perception controls Biology.
Perception is fallible,
Belief controls Biology,
What you belief creates your life. inside and out."

The gist of what i could follow of Lipton's lecture and even this much I has triggered a great relief in my own belief and understanding of my own take on life. 

The Renaissance Mind.

Am not writing much as there is not much to write about with regard to my spiritual growth or any worthwhile development towards my personal self discovery. I feel like I have arrived at an impasse, a situation where progress is impossible due to no particular excuse but just a lack of determination or passion towards demanding for an answer. Laziness of the mind and spirit if one is looking for an excuse, perhaps, but may not be necessarily so, perhaps it is as it should be, nothing is required to act upon. It is just letting it be for the moment in time just as the land is needed to be left alone to recover itself after a harvest. These are what I observe as what is happening to me in my inner engineering, my self awareness study; what is there to write about other than noting down what is and what is. is as it is and that is fine too.

I am also keeping my mind busy on painting 3x3 feet and 3x4 feet acrylic paintings which I have started to work on in last two weeks or so. There are 20 pieces of canvass to work with and  hopefully by August of this year I will have some works ready for my solo exhibition a the Seni Mutiara Gallery as planned. I am working on my number four painting which is still in the process of completion. I have come to realize that in the past i have always been impatient while working on my paintings, however now I am taking my time giving each painting a more careful study and better in executing the technique and medium. Perhaps it is a part of growing old where things kind of slow down just like eating more slowly and with awareness as to the nature of the food and so forth. Everything you do comes to a slow motion or so it seems and incidentally you learn to appreciated better certain things that in the past you had tended to rush through without much notice of what is going on.

“From the age of 6 I had a mania for drawing the shapes of things. When I was 50 I had published a universe of designs. But all I have done before the the age of 70 is not worth bothering with. At 75 I'll have learned something of the pattern of nature, of animals, of plants, of trees, birds, fish and insects. When I am 80 you will see real progress. At 90 I shall have cut my way deeply into the mystery of life itself. At 100, I shall be a marvelous artist. At 110, everything I create; a dot, a line, will jump to life as never before. To all of you who are going to live as long as I do, I promise to keep my word. I am writing this in my old age. I used to call myself Hokusai, but today I sign my self 'The Old Man Mad About Drawing.”
― Hokusai Katsushika

This quote from one of my favorite artist in history has always been a guiding rule for me that I may not be the greatest artist in this life but I sure as hell am going to do better as I get older. I hope to leave behind me a legacy of paintings worth framing and hanging on walls in homes and galleries. I am bound and determined to be more creative and productive than ever before. I do not care what others have accomplished be they better or worse off than I am, but I will produce works that will reflect a life dedicated to what it is to be an artist, to live life as an artist and not just a craftsman. I envision that someday when I am no more around, it will be said of me that, " He had lived the life of an artist, a true renaissance  man."

     

Where does the word God came from?

Creation is God's general revelation, but Jesus Christ is God's personal message to us. In Greek philosophy, the concept behind the Word (Logos) is the divine principle that permeates an oruse of the derly universe. In the Old Testament, the Word carries the idea of active power. God spoke the universe into being.Mar 3, 2014

And the word God, where does it originates from? Is there ever uttered in the Torah, Zabur or The Bible, the word God? Yahweh, Elohim, Adonai, yes but the word God where did it originated from?

A brief Wikipedia search on the origin of the word 'god' reveals the following: The earliest written form of the Germanic word god comes from the 6th century Christian Codex Argenteus. The English word itself is derived from the Proto-Germanic * ǥuđan.Jul 11, 2012

In other words the word God never existed in the Hebrew Christian texts in any form but was a later addition through the adaptation of the Germanic word 'gudan'. Ironic enough, the word in its mirror image spells Dog, but that's purely a technical observation for a sick if not blasphemous sense of humor. For how long has the word God been used by Christians to replace the Jewish words for The Creator of the Universe? How did it happen? Are Christian theologians throughout history of Christianity contented to used this word to refer to the Maker when in conversation or delivering a sermon to the masses?

Please help enlightened this ignorant mind to understand this basic truth about this fundamental most uttered word. God in Christianity. 

I am Whole-Complete and Perfect.- as I am.

As I watched another year slipped by I realized that it has all really been pretty much the same as far as my own status is concerned; I have done and remained pretty much who I have been all these years. I still bear the same faults and guilt, fear and foreboding, the feeling of small victories and accomplishments, measuring myself up against the successes of others in the course of their lives compared to mine and often enough cowering in low self esteem when having to depend on others for my own survival. This is life! This is what it is to have lived and learned all there is to learn, practice all there is to practice and still end up with a discontentment within? Perhaps it is in line with the teachings of Gautama, the Buddha who foresaw that life is inherently, suffering and that my being here in this moment in time is to discover for myself the key to unlocking this mystery of being liberated from this cycle of life-death and rebirth.

Woe unto him who underestimates the power of the human mind, his own as well that of others. If there is any lesson that I have come to learn and accept, is the truth about how my mind is capable of lifting me up to the greatest heights or smashing me down to a bottomless pit if I allow it to and yes, I am definitely not my mind as much as I am not my physical body. Both of these are my tools, my vehicles of expression, or existing upon this physical realm of existence just as the wisdom of the ancients has been pointing out from way back when. The sciences would say that it is all in gravitational pulls and vibrational waves and energy that forces the molecules of atoms to merge together to create a form in this universe of formlessness. The mind and body of ours are just part and parcel of eons of evolution and transmutation that has arrived at this state we are in and will continue on to evolve into states we are yet to become. Our mental and emotional and spiritual states are just the inner evolution of our genetic engineering which involves much more complex forces that science has yet to unravel its mysteries. So, till I am convinced factually of what it is that I am truly am or how come I am in this state of being and consciousness, I will abide by the rules that is holding together the fate of humanity as it is. Whether it is scientific or evolutionary laws or spiritual and religious dogmas, whether it is my mind alone or the combination of the minds of the entire human race that makes the world goes round, it is my intention to make the best out of all possibilities made available to me in the process of becoming a complete and wholesome person.  

They say it is going to be a Challenging 2019.

Another year slipped by and there is not much to say except I feel one year younger and feel more like a seven year old then a seventy. Where have it all gone, those seventy odd years having disappeared into the horizon like the Star Wars story lines at the beginning of the movies, "In a Galaxy, far, far away!" For Malaysia 2018 has been a year of change, of reorganization and repair of the damages left behind by the former government; it was a year that will go down in her history as a year that the people's power brought down a corrupt system. For the world it has been a year of soul searching as the killings and brutalities in many countries continues and the climate change that has wrecked havoc in many areas. is till a worrisome issue yet to be fully acknowledged and addressed; humanity is living in denial as we head for a nuclear holocaust. However all is not lost, we are making a whole lot of progress and improvement in many fields especially in our effort to escape to galaxies far far away from this Planet of ours.

Millions if not billions are spent, so it is said, in R&R for space exploration on account that we will need a new environment to work ourselves into a feeding frenzy and set it on yet another destructive course, just like the one we are on. It is all excuses off course for the rich to have a hobby and the technocrats to have something to work on. but none the less we as a specie are still lost in a limbo of our self made crap no knowing that we are taken for a ride all along. It is said that the whole world's human population can all be placed into the state of Alaska and there would still be room to spare, but we are tolf we are running out of space to live as a specie and we believe it hook, line and sinker. So what would 2019 have in store for us the minions? We have to find ways and means to awaken the rest of the population on this Planet from the illusion that we are made to believe to be reality as it is, we need to unshackle our minds from the bondas of ignorance from having been conditioned all these years. The more people are set free from the delusion that we are bred into like cattle all primed for the slaughter house. 

I have committed myself to a goal for 2019 and that is to have an solo exhibition in August at the Gallery Deni Mutiara, one of the more sought after galleries in Georgetown. The date for the  launching has been sst to on the 11th. of August, a day before my 70th. birthday which happens to fall on the auspicious date of the MUslim calendar for Eid Mubarak. So I am looking at producing at least twenty decent new works for the occasion. I also got my financial sponsor in getting the art materials through my friend and art collector Mr. LeeKhai who practically gave me  blank cheque to get what i would need. In essence 2019 will be focussed on Art primarily to get the best of what I have in me for perhaps what might be my final show. It is a challenge to look forward to. But what man propose God disposes as the saying goes, anything can happen from now on; it is good to have a target none the less.

All in all, Have a Very Happy New Year to all those who have been following this Blog and ay your year too be as challenging.

Anger my old friend -revisited.

Anger will tear your spirit down like no other emotion can for when it hits you even if you manage to allow it to settle down and not explode in negative acton, it will still remain with you for a length of time until every trace of its cause and effect is removed from the mind. A few days back i found out that i could not get into my car because someone had kicked the door and the dent has topped me from being able to open it. Ever since I have to squeeze myself sideways in order to enter the driver's seat and worse when getting out, but such I have a good idea of who would have done it because the car was parked and visualize the ev in my parking space and the car parked next to mine seems to have an issue about something that i have no idea about as yet and what is more weird is I have yet to meet the owner of the car or the two motorcycles that is often parked there. So what gives i ask myself, is this another racial crap that I have a Chinese who thinks malays do not deserve to live in the same apartment building as them? Yes one tends to assume the worse  dream of even worse forms of retaliation as only a sick mind can.

Although I am trying to drop the whole matter and make believe it all did not happen, t is futile until I get the door fixed as it is a constant reminder every time I have to use it to get in and out of the car and the ugly dent that is now a pain to look at and the same question that floats in my mind, how or what did i do to cause for such a retribution from someone i have yet to set my eyes upon. Then yesterday I found an expensive pair of sun glasses drop by the owner of my next stall neighbor. my initial reaction was, payback! But I decided to hang the glasses by a rain gear that was hanging by the and walked away. Not worth it, more karma creating stuff, I don't need at this point in my life, let the world win in this cases and so long as i can drive and get to wherever it is that I need to go, I will be happy to put up with the inconvenience. off course God is to be blamed! Ha! ha! who could have allowed for such a transgression to happen but the Lord of Test. Yes the Lord decided to take a poke at me because I was having a few good and am forgetting to be grateful of something like that, or simply that shit happens!

Do and be good, the Buddha is said to have said and that is all you have to do to clean up your past karmic actions. Allowing the world to be as it is, is not a defeatist attitude but a self realization that,one cannot change the world for what it is, but one can change oneself to transcend what is. Easier said than done? Not really, not today at least as there are lessons to be learned everywhere you care to look and if you care to take up a practice and master an art of self discovery and self empowerment, to be able to say, enough is enough i do not need you to aggravate me to feel alive. I will be an unwilling, unattached, witness to all your vexations and nothing more; I have my God you have yours and right and wrong is still a sickness of the mind.

Feliz Navidad! - Selamat Hari Natal!

1. Celebrated Christmas by attending two churches for the Christmas service, the first church was a mistake of venue while the second was the actual venue where my friend LeeKhai had invited me to attend. As my daughter decided to tag along we ended up spending Christmas morning among the predominantly Chinese Christian population at two different churches. Merry Christmas indeed from the Baharis! It is our intention to celebrate life in all its forms and, faith and fancies.  if nothing else it will be a memorable experience for my daughter and I something to reflect upon when it is all over; what did we do on Christmas day of 2018? Cannot remember what names the churches were now, but it does not matter now, just so long as they were celebrating the birth of Jesus- A Very happy Birthday JC!

Some of the most beautiful moments of my life were spent on Christmas Eve in the winter nights of Green Bay, Wisconsin. A Bottle of Red wine and a blazing fireplace while curled up in a bean bag after a hardy dinner of T'Bone steak with sauteed mushrooms and sliced white onions. Baked potatoes and steamed asparagus all collected from the fields around the farm. A gentle jazz of Hubert Laws and Grover Washington Jr. Bob James or John Pierre Rampal. Ahh... those were the Christmas I miss much. I miss the beautiful Christmas mornings at the Green Gulch farm Zen Buddhist community in Sausalito, Marin County, California. After a delicious breakfast of steaming hot Miso soup with fresh loaf of Bread freshly baked from the kitchen by none other than the Master Baker of the Tassajara Bakery of San Francisco, A few of us would take a slow walk down through the fields towards Muir Beach to sit and watch the waves roll in and out over the Pacific Ocean. From behind us, the sun would be rising over the Tamalpais hills bringing the Green Gulch Valley to life. 

Today Christmas was spent among a bunch of Christian Chinese folks, it is a little .not so alike, but it was an event nonetheless. A very merry Christmas to all who read this and may the new year brings you loads of Happiness and may you be free from suffering. 

Where is Buddha when you need Him?

The drum roll from Kitaro's, Matsuri, sets my heart in rhythm within and without,  and my body sways to the floating sound of the flute and the acoustics I am drifting into my inner sanctum where only I am allowed to be. It is my retreat from the onslaught of external stimulus and vexations. Thank you Maestro, your music has been my source of inspiration ever since i was introduced to you, Kitaro San! If my memory does not fail me, I think i first listened to Kitaro' Matsuri when i was driving towards Kuala Terengganu in a car driven by my late Brother in law Syed Ahmad and his two sons Syed Faisal and Syed Harman sometime in the 80s, I fell in love with what i heard and has been one of my long time favorite.  I might ever call,it my spiritual picker upper when I am feeling low in form and energy as I am now. Music to me is indeed food for the sol, : I know mine is bathed in the music i choose to listen at the moment in time and space; it is meditative or leads to a meditative state of mind.

Yes I could use just about anything now in order to get my mind to quiet down from so much hankering over nothing and giving me so little space to reflect with clarity at what is truly happening or should happen. I keep losing track of my intentions towards becoming more awakened from this zombie state of being in limbo. I need a Kitaro's, Matsuri or Hans Zimmer's Pandora, to bring my mind back from its wandering. The egotistic mind will never give up from demanding to be heard and reckoned with, it is part and parcel of being human, this is where the laws of cause and effect takes it roots, the ego is an insatiable parasite that feed upon each and every episode, event, experiences mental phenomena and so forth; it is its inherent nature. It is the wise that sees this and learn to navigate through life without letting the ego have the upper hand all the time; silence is the antithesis of the egoic mind. To bring the mind to s silence is the practice of every man looking for liberation from this cyclic existence of life, death and rebirth, I did not make this up, it came from the Buddha.

It's Depression that is killing us. he said to me.

An Imam from the mosque  i usually pray at in Sungai Pinang sat at the table where i was having lunch and in a brief conversation stated that 'murong' or depression in Malay is at a worrisome level in our community.  Coming form a man who does not see me eye to eye to begin with was quite a wake up call, he was serious and concerned and it was written all over his face. What do i say to such a person? Hey open the mosque doors air it out let the community come in and out at any time they like and  provide more positive entertainment for old and young! Stop the heavy of brimstone and hell fire, share more stories that are uplifting and those that inspire and promote good health and spirits. Provide food and refreshments to attract the poor and needy to the mosque yard so that the mosque is always alive! No! Not at our mosque as i see it, it always locked up except when comes the prayer times and as soon as the prayer is over wham! bam! The mosque becomes a tomb again!   

The causes of depression is very easy to discern, what makes a man depressed is primarily because he has no connection to or a good companionship with the community in the form of friends that he can sit and listen or talk to. He is isolated even from God when he runs out of things to ask for or words to praise His Maker and most often getting no response whatsoever. He can only hide behind the belief that it is all a test from the All Mighty of his faith and so forth before his common sense kicks in and say, Bullshit! Depression is an illness that inflicts itself upon those who have run out of ideas and imaginations, those who has very little or no understanding in their inherent nature of being a productive and awakened spirit; depression finds victims in those who have spent their lives entirely self centered and self serving for when there is no more to crave for or to hoard for the self, there is only an sense of dissatisfaction or incomplete, like something is always lacking. Have I earned enough, accumulated enough, accomplished enough, what am I missing? Depression is a by product of loneliness, of the desire for a sense of belonging, of feeling having wasted time in life and not being able to change one's lot. Depression is a self inflicted illness that we all suffer from off and on and it is better to keep it off than on as much as possible. 

Join a dance club even if you cannot dance worth a dime or become a traveller and leave your home, get out there and see what the world has to offer, take up fishing or volunteer as a substitute teacher sharing your hard earned expertise while at the same time enjoying a relationship with other,s. In essence, throw open your doors and windows and step outside and invite into your life the world out there and share life for better or worse. You were not created to become a self serving self aggrandizing entity, while at your later wallowing in self pity or feeling not appreciated for what you have achieved all your life. We are being conditioned by society to live in such a way as to go through certain stages like schooling, working and retirement, primarily, after which we are to fill up the empty spaces in between and at the end and so what do we have to do this with is what we create out of the conditioned state or out of the box we have been bred into. What we create for ourselves that has no intention for profit or gain is what will sustain us through our times of need spiritually , psychologically and physically; so take up Yoga!Take up Tai Chi, take up Karate or Kung Fu, take up Art! It is never too late nor too early to do so.

God Is Blue!

Had a long conversation with an Imam from the nearby masjid over lunch yesterday and I was doing the questioning while he was patiently answering me about some basic tenets of Islam. We talked of basic laws governing the afterlife, as to who gets to be in heaven and who does not and the bottomline is that he who submits to the will of Allah by the virtue of his professing the Mushahadah will eventually end up int heaven even if he has transgressed in his lifetime. By acknowledging that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His messenger, one becomes a Muslim and observes the five pillars of islam and refer to the Quran as a guide in daily life, as a revelation or word of God. Islam is a very simple religion which is made to seem as a harsh and demanding one by some who practices extremism. We talked of the performance of the Haj and he was very excited of this for the fact that once a person has completed his/her pilgrimage, the slate to his life is wiped clean; all sins are forgiven. I kidded like that's why there's millions who wants to get there every year, the world is full of sinners.

One of my question s was, how does one knows that God has forgiven or accepted our repentance? he said that when you start feeling you are incontrol and sinning less, like drinking or gambling lesser and lesser and it has not more control over you and you finally kick the habit for good, God has accepted your repentance. Being in relationship with God or being religious is  more of a feeling rather than perception. You feel God's presence when you call on Him, less than what you see happens or does not happen when you call upon Him. Often when you witness an extraordinary sight in nature you feel awed, and your hair stands at the back of your neck and you whisper to yourself, there is a Divine presence here. God is everywhere but most of all is within you; you are the temple of the Living God. 

Why is it so difficult for man to accept the fact that he is in essence of a divine nature, that he is not just an evolved amoeba that has taken a long time to become human. Is it ego? Is it pride? In the Quran it is mentioned that Pride is the origin of evil. Why is it so hard for man to bow before that which has been proven over the ages to be the all Encompassing all Knowing Lord of Creation by almost religions giving It different names according to geographical and cultural and historical heritage if not by the spoken language itself. Perhaps what is hard for us to do is to discard the image of God that our minds has created by virtue of a specific culture or description of a certain scriptures; we have created a humanlike God and thus endowed with human traits; an angry God, a jealous God, a wrathful God, a compassionate God etc. A God we can depend upon to ask anything of and lay the blame on, a God that is fair and negotiable with; a God of reward and punishment.


Now that we have pegged and pigeon holed the The All Mighty Creator, analyzed and dissected every aspect of His condition, what do we do? We run around claiming whose God is, The God, Whose God merits worship and total faith, in simple terms whose God is the right one and we are willing to kill for our stand on our believe in our God. Hallelujah!, God is Great! Is this all there is to it? Are we merely victims of our own delusion as Richard Dawkins claimed. We will have to wait till afterlife to find out, because God is not going to come out of His mountain and give us any clear sign more than he has already been giving  us all through our human history. This Internet for instance is a Miracle of Miracles unless we are too blind to see it as such and take it for granted as just another human collective intelligence putting together yet another tool for our usage in dealing with our daily lives. Perhaps this is the tool that is supposed to reconstruct the Tower of Babel, undo the schism that was wrecked upon humanity for our arrogance in thinking we could outthink God!  

"If you ask me what or who God is, I would say God is Blue and plays the bamboo flute." - A Hare Krishna Devotee. 

Tying up loose ends - Is the universe what they say it is?

As scientists gropes around for the answers to the creation of the universe and its inherent nature many are coming to grips with the fact that the universe has a Creator. Although most are still hiding in the corners from making any form of commitment as to the final say whether yea or nay, there are those who are seeing the light as to the possibility that there is some form laws and principles that governs the basic mathematical order of the universal structure from the molecular levels to the cosmic grid and this laws are governed by an intelligence that in the spiritual sense man would call God, Brahman or Allah all meaning the same entity or Being. The Universe is in and of itself is a living entity that breathes and has its own consciousness that is connected to the whole of its being governed by the basic laws of attraction and interdependence as metaphorically described as Indra's Net of pearls in Buddhism.

Indra's net (also called Indra's jewels or Indra's pearls, Sanskrit Indrajāla) is a metaphor used to illustrate the concepts of Śūnyatā (emptiness),^[1] pratītyasamutpāda (dependent origination),^[2] and interpenetration^[3] in Buddhist philosophy..
Wikipedia.

Perhaps when God said "Let there be Light!" The Big Bang happens spontaneously, manifesting a universe of splintered whole, like shattered glass being hit by a thunder bolt. Bits and pieces are thrown far and wide in all directions, large and small in all kinds of shapes and forms, solids and gasses and just pure energy. The concussion perhaps was so immense that it generated a high amount of energy strong enough to convert matter into vapor and vice versa and restructured elements from one into another causing fusion and manifest new elements that fills the whole space continuum as the universe expands outwards for eternity. Like planet, suns and stars, like the galaxies and the dark matter of space itself, we are a part of this ongoing process. We has evolved from the very atoms that was once floating about into who or what we are today as a result of this whole process of Creation - the Big Bang - the Divine Will. As Deepak Chopra said, we are made out of cosmic dust that originated from  the explosion of a super nova or something like that, can't remember his exact words and they made more sense than mine no doubt.

I am no scientist nor am I a highly religious person but I like to know, I like to understand, I like to discover for my own how and what makes it all tick like a clockwork. Having accepted the fact that there is a Creator, a Mastermind, a Planner and call it by whatever name you will  , the next question I, like most others have to ask is what is my purpose and relationship to this 'Creator'? How did I evolve to be able to come to this level of consciousness whereby I am able to ask this primal question, who am I or what am I? Perhaps science will find an unequivocal answer as to what it is all about in some distant future, but till then I will have to keep on asking if not science or religion, philosophy or logic, to come up with an acceptable equation. I realize that to most it seems like a waste of time to even think of there issues, but I feel like I am coming to at the end of the road and it is a loose end I need to tie up with before I exit this life.

And the Truth shall set me free...or not.-like what truth?

   We are a spiritual being having a human experience not the other way round, it is often said by the Gurus and Saints, wise men and spiritual minds. Moksha, Enlightenment, Samadhi is already inherent in all of us; we are here simply to remove all the notions that we are in bondage. We are free and nothing is holding us except for ignorance of this realization  that we are free from any form of bondage other than that which we create for ourselves. I am a consciousness whereby space and time is included within the whole equation of being me, however when I cease to exist, space and time are just illusions of my state of being in this physical realm, for in essence the 'I' itself does not really exist as the teachings of the Buddha had revealed. 

Transmigration of the soul or better known as incarnation is the belief common to almost all the Hindu, Buddhist, Jain and various other Indo religions. A man or his soul goes through an evolution from one stage to another whether for the better towards the divine or the worse spiraling downwards towards the lower forms of life even to that of worms and microbes. Each according to the karmic consequences that the evolving soul had accrued through its existence. This human form that I am in is considered to be the most auspicious and conducive towards attaining to the highest level of existence in this cycle of life, death and rebirth, for it is only in this form that we are able to become liberated from the state that we are in which ultimately is the state of suffering. It is through being awakened from the sleep of Maya or delusion, that we set ourselves free from the laws of karma and to attain this we are here as we are making every effort towards our own salvation, as is said, there is nothing and no one that can do it for us but ourselves. We can listen and  follow the guides and teachings of all the wise men of old and contemporary alike but the final step is still dependant upon our own self discovery. We can only liberate that we have come to understand as who we truly are; this is the journey of life itself, this is why we are here.

In the Bhagavad Gita it is said that we are governed by three influences, that of goodness, passion and ignorance. Each of these causes us to gravitate or plunge into heaven or hell accordingly. It gets a little complicated after  you go a little deeper into the matter with all religions; the details. based on how heavy your karmic consequences happens to be you might end up in a Buddhist or Hindu hell too.

For those who have been born and raised as Jews. Christians and  Muslims or the Abrahamic faith and religions, the story of life itself is different and can be considered as the reverse of the earlier statement that. we are spiritual beings having a human experience. It is more appropriate perhaps to say that we are human beings having a spiritual experience in this short span of life we have on this Planet. As a Christian, a Muslim or a Jew, we are trying to understand fully our relationship to a Divine Being that had created us and this universe. We are subjected to the laws and doctrines of The Book or the Scriptures and revelations as handed down to us from the day that Man was first conceived. In the Abrahamic religions, man's existence is pretty much spelled out for him and having an unwavering faith in the One God, the Creator of All, is the key to the KIngdom of Heaven and life on this plane is made easier while it last. It is said that the soul before it was released into the physical realm of existence had made a covenant with God, to worship none save the Lord, thy God. In the Holy Quran it is said that God,(Allah) created the Jinn and man for no other reason than to worship Him, failing which there is hell to be reckoned with in the afterlife.

Then there are the non believers, the Atheists and the worshipers of modern science, to whom nothing of these matters at the end off the day as in essence nothing really exist and death is just a dissolution of the physical form after it has lived its time out. There is no heaven or hell, nor an awakening or enlightenment to talk or think of, man lives his life out just like a rat in the lab waiting to be made and experiment of in order to discover what it is all about. Man is nothing more than a bunch of atoms and molecules strung together by the laws of nature and physics, biological as well chemically equated elements found in the universe. Space itself is said to contain the energy that runs the whole structure of the universe including the keeping of man alive. As soon as this energy is no longer present in the human form, life for that form comes to an end and all the elements is returned to the whole or the universe to be recycled?

This in a nutshell is my understanding of who I am in relation to the whole of the universe, humanity and the cosmos alike. None of these concepts are right or wrong to me as they all have parts and parcel of the whole and they are all pigments of my own imagination and understanding. Right and wrong is still a sickness of my own dual thinking mind. Spirituality, religious beliefs. faith and understanding is to me very personal in nature and at the end of the day only I can   come to a complete acceptance of what the truth and reality of the matter is. In the meantime it is my complete responsibility to pursue this life long quest of self enquiry to the end of its course; like holding a burning ball of fire till it becomes ashes in my hands...and the Truth shall me free. 

The Buddha's Big Mouth.

There comes a time in ones life when you have to make a stand and say enough is enough to those who has been trying to bring you down or put you in place where they think you should be. This, 'they' can be close friends and people one has tried to look up to or treat with respect in friendship or as colleagues, even brothers for that matter, perhaps in my case especially elder brothers. I have for most part of my life acted pretty much in a defensive role when it comes to my relationship with others mistaking it often enough as a sign of humility or humbleness or in short as a precaution against  self arrogance, aloofness or a show off. Perhaps i have been over doing it that often enough i found that most of the people i shown this trait to have reacted as though I am afraid, a weakling or a push over. 

Yesterday evening while attending an art show I found myself actually acting with a more aggressive role without even trying to. Most of the characters that were at the show were people or fellow artists who in the past I had treated as i mentioned earlier with respect if nothing else and now they have practically walked all over me,treating me with disdain.What was uncanny, now that I look back at the scenario, the 'they', were practically all there!  I was surprised at myself and even felt a twinge of guilt as i greeted each one with a deliberate sense of arrogance like saying no I don't really need you or your presence no matter your status or position in life as it is, but I greet you nonetheless simply because I happen to know you in the past. There were two caucasian expats at the show and I knew both of them and in essence had an axe to grind against for one reason or another. One was a Britisher who decided to shake my hand with his left and when he did this something inside me snapped and i almost shouted into his face the f word saying that I wipe my ass with my left hand and why should i take yours! The other  was an Australian if i am not mistaken married to a local Chinese and he has an attitude about him like he runs the town council ever since I have known him, I walked up to him and called him, hey! white man! into his face and it turned red perhaps from the free wine he was sipping too: I felt good and right. 

I had a good rapport with the gallery curator and told him that it was about time I had a show at his gallery and when I would like it to be, which to my surprise he immediately cancelled a name from his calendar which has been fully booked for the next three years to fit me in for a show in August next year. The opening date would be on the eleventh of August, a choice he made not knowing that the twelve would be my 70th, birthday which also happens to fall on the same date as the Eid Mubarak which is the most celebrated day in the Muslim calendar. However thanks to my big mouth now i have to start working on some new paintings for the show in seven months time. It will be a good challenge that will keep me on high alert for the next few months beginning with looking for money to get me my materials. It is begging time! Ask and ye shall be given, knock and it shall be open and  get the Buddha's begging bowl out, Bahari!  

As I have said before....I am that, I am

"In theosophy and anthroposophy, the Akashic records are a compendium of all human events, thoughts, words, emotions, and intent ever to have occurred in the past, present, or future. They are believed by theosophists to be encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the etheric plane. Wikipedia.

My Blog is not quite the Akashic record of my life, thoughts and deeds, not quite as elegant and immense, however it is still my effort in trying to keep up to date as to how my mind function and my body behaves in my daily activities in relationship to the rest of the Universe,(out there). This Blog is my way of keeping tabs on the what ifs and how come, the such is and the whatever, as I step one step at a time into the next moment in time and space; it is my record of my journey of self awakening. I am now more than ever am in touch with what I have been seeking as my own 'reality', one that i can say is it for me. I am looking at myself from inside out and from out, within, I feel much closer now to the end of my journey for whatever it is worth; I am coming home. If I were to die tonight, it would be a blessing as I am as happy and contented with who I am as I can possibly be. What happens from now on is just added bonus, to my health and wealth and I am grateful to the source of my being; I am that, I am. The Eternal, the Unborn Buddha Nature, the Supreme Consciousness of the Cosmos , the manifestation of the Divine - Lord of Creation.

“Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.” 
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Lives that are being pushed out to sea.

For more than eleven years I have been hanging out in this area of the local fisherman's jetty. I enjoyed the friendliness and respect shown to me by those who come and go here eking out a living in one form or another, from fishing to drug dealing and gambling, running a restaurant/ coffee shop to selling the local brew called  ketum or biak in Malay. 

The area has been raided by  the narcotics department of the police force on numerous occasions and has become their place of training any new intakes on how to make drug and gambling arrests. As much as there are arrests made there is also rampant police corruption when fines a being pocketed by the law and enforcement officers according to the victims who were arrested.  

The fisherman's jetty is home to predominantly Malay fishermen who had been here for many years making it their get away home to hang out with friends and the freedom from being cooped up in an apartment building. Here they have the chance to let it go and do as they please after getting their jobs done.. The stench of the polluted sea and the garbage strewn all along the shore is the constant sight . 

This is the epitome of the life of the local Malays on the Island of Penang. Being driven out into the sea and deprived of even the meagre sense of freedom from the authorities. Their is a life of adjec displacement and neglect especially by the previous government for which they had staunchly supported to the end. Where would they go after this who knows and who really cares!