16 May 2006 – Drifting on Debts and Dreams -Jerejak resort and Spa.

 

                              Another broken dream. - Jerejak Resort Ferry Terminal, (used to be.)

16 May 2006 – Drifting on Debts and Dreams

Jerejak Resort and Spa is a phenomenal place to work—or at least, it could be. Right now, it’s trying hard just to stay afloat. Sometimes it feels like the whole island might sink under the weight of its debts.

Today, TNB came to cut off the electricity. The resort owes RM26,000 in unpaid bills. The guy who came to deliver the news does this with a smirk, like he’s God Almighty with the power to plunge us into darkness. I could’ve given him a piece of my mind, but I held back—for the sake of the resort, and for myself.

The new manager is showing his true colors. He may know numbers, but I doubt his ability to breathe life into this place. There’s no vision, no shared direction. It’s as if we’re running a liquor store instead of a four-star resort. Everyone’s chasing their own agenda.

What can I say without biting the hand that feeds me? At my age, opportunities are limited. Going solo as an artist hasn’t worked out well in the past either. I don’t know what holds me back, but selling my art has always felt like climbing a steep, invisible wall.

Still, the gift remains. I can draw, paint, and create whether I sell or not. There’s always hope—one day. If only that “one day” is just around the corner… I sure could use a break before it’s too late.

The ferry terminal, at least, provides a silver lining. Between schedules, I find peace—time to read, sketch, and be still. The sea and the island form a living landscape around me.

My coworkers are a laid-back bunch. Sometimes too laid back. My helper is a hardworking Nepalese whom I jokingly call “Lil Bahadur.” He’s obsessed with the 4D lottery and recently won RM1,000. A dependable right-hand man. The security guard? Often asleep in his booth, but once you learn his rhythm, he’s alright.

This job keeps me and the kids afloat, day by day. Given all I’ve seen and lived through—the roads I’ve walked, the countries I’ve wandered—what more can I ask? For now, I’ll keep riding the tide and wait for the next big wave.