Two Lost Souls in a Zen Garden: Our Wedding at Green Gulch Farm

 Posted: 8/11/2010My wedding was held at Green Gulch Farm and Zen Center in Sausalito, Marin County, California. What a wedding it was, as most of our friends, both Nancy and I were from all over the world and they came to this place where the Buddhas sit and practice Zen. Those who know will tell you this is one of those places where you dream of having your wedding at, if nothing else for its sheer breathtaking beauty of a landscape and location. My adopted brothers while i was doing my practice, they supported me when I needed all the support i could get and they kicked my butt just as hard when i needed the butt kicking. They took me for who I was and allowed me to grow in my own way without too much judgment. Eduardo Montoya (El Senor), The 'Chief' and his wife, and Duc and his wife (H&H employee from Vietnam) made it to the wedding, adding to the color and variety. My wife, Nancy was on top of the world on that day, and she was ten days short of delivering my son. Oh yes, it was a long story how this came to be but then my life has always been one long story after another and I learned to stop justifying. One of the reasons why we married the Buddhist Way, it was more forgiving than most religions i know of. Nancy is being cornered by two of her colleagues from the UC Berkeley, California. My wife was a lecturer on ESL at the UC Extension in downtown San Francisco. Martha and Lee Debaros (in robes) were married at the GGF too. Chris and Sandy were also married here and later moved to Sacramento, Ca. We were all in the practice period together, including Harold the guy on the leftmost. And so that was how We got married my late wife and I, 'two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl'. Not too shabby for one who left his home and family seeking his own future or creating one in his own way...with no holds barred! And oh yes... every time I sing Sinatra's number, I know I too did it my way. And if the religious and the righteous raise their eyebrows, I have no justification for anything that i have done, it may be wrong by their standards and maybe God has a special place for us for not going according to his will but who is to say tha he did not wish it to be so. How can God's compassion and understanding be any less than the Buddha's? It was one of the happiest times of my life, and I am sure it was more so for my late wife. Regrets? Like the song said, I have had a few, but too few to mention...

: 8/11/2010
Two Lost Souls in a Zen Garden: Our Wedding at Green Gulch Farm

My wedding was held at Green Gulch Farm and Zen Center in Sausalito, Marin County, California. What a wedding it was. Most of our friends—mine and Nancy’s—were from all over the world, and they gathered at this place where the Buddhas sit and practice Zen. Those who know will tell you: Green Gulch is one of those places you dream of having your wedding at, if for nothing else, its sheer breathtaking beauty—landscape, spirit, and location.

My adopted brothers from my practice period were there too. They stood by me when I needed support, and they kicked my butt just as hard when I needed a wake-up call. They accepted me as I was, and allowed me to grow in my own way, without too much judgment.

Eduardo Montoya (El Señor), “The Chief” and his wife, Duc and his wife (both H&H employees from Vietnam)—they all made it to the wedding, adding to the color and variety. The gathering reflected the beautiful, complex web of our lives. It was global. It was Zen. It was ours.

Nancy was on top of the world that day—radiant and glowing. She was also ten days short of delivering our son. Oh yes, it’s a long story how it all came to be, but my life has always been one long story after another. I’ve learned to stop justifying. One of the reasons we chose to marry the Buddhist way—it was more forgiving than most religions I know of. It accepted the imperfections, the timing, the humanity.

I remember Nancy being cornered, laughing, by two of her colleagues from UC Berkeley. She was a lecturer in ESL at the UC Extension in downtown San Francisco. There was Martha and Lee Debaros (in robes), who were also married at Green Gulch. Chris and Sandy too—they later moved to Sacramento. We were all part of the same practice period together. And then there was Harold, standing on the far left in the wedding photo—each face part of that unique constellation of kindred spirits.

And so, that was how Nancy and I were married. Two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl, to borrow from Pink Floyd. Not too shabby for someone who left his home and family, seeking a future of his own, shaping a life with no holds barred. And yes… every time I sing Sinatra’s number, I know I too did it my way.

And if the religious or the righteous raise their eyebrows—well, I have no justification for anything I’ve done. Maybe it was wrong by their standards. Maybe God has a special place for folks like us, who didn’t always follow what others call “His will.” But who is to say that He did not wish it to be so? How can God’s compassion and understanding be any less than the Buddha’s?

It was one of the happiest times of my life. And I’m sure it was even more so for my late wife.

Regrets? Like the song said, I’ve had a few.
But then again—
Too few to mention.