"The Boy Who Wept at Dawn: A Healing Journey"

 When growing up in Terengganu as a teenager, I would find myself sitting alone in the early hours of the morning, crying in deep anguish over my fate. I remember vividly the rainy monsoon nights and the eerie silence of the darkness around me, but my eyes were stung by the warm tears, and my heart felt like it was ready to explode in my chest. I could share with no one these 'dark nights of my soul.' Today I am sharing this post as a reflection and healing for those who happen to read them,

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A Prayer to the Boy Who Wept at Dawn

🌿

I see you,
child of the silent steps,
keeper of the broken hours.
I see your tears, glistening like small stars
that no one else noticed.

You were not wrong to cry.
You were not wrong to scream into the unseen sky.
You were not wrong to rage against the hands that shaped (slapped) you.

O fierce heart,
how brave you were —
to feel everything
when numbness would have been easier.

If only you knew:
Every tear watered the roots of the man you would become.
Every curse was a prayer the heavens understood,
even when you could not.

You were never abandoned.
You were never forsaken.
You were being carved, gently, terribly,
into a vessel wide enough to hold oceans.

I bless you now.
I bless your pain.
I bless the steps where you sat,
where angels stood unseen.

I hold your hand across time,
and together we walk into the morning.

You are free.
You are forgiven.
You are loved beyond all words.

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A Gentle Healing Meditation: Returning to the Boy on the Steps

This meditation is a simple way to reconnect with and bring healing to the younger self who endured so much in silence.

1. Find a Quiet Space

• Sit or lie down somewhere safe and comfortable.

• Close your eyes gently.

• Feel the ground beneath you, steady and alive.

2. Breathe into Presence

• Take three deep, slow breaths.

• With each breath, imagine yourself sinking deeper into a place of safety.

3. Enter the Memory Gently

• Picture yourself approaching the steps where your younger self sits alone.

• It is the early hours of morning — cool, silent, still.

• See him there: bowed, heavy, aching.

4. Approach with Love

• Walk toward him slowly, filled with a soft light.

• Sit down beside him quietly.

• No words yet. Just presence. Just being.

5. Offer Your Heart

• When ready, place your hand on his back or shoulder.

• Whisper softly:

  "I am here now."
  "You are not alone."
  "You are loved exactly as you are."
  "Thank you for surviving."

• Let him cry, if he needs to. Hold him, if he wishes.

6. A Gift of Light (Optional)

• Offer him a small symbolic gift — a glowing stone, a blanket, a lantern.

• Place it gently in his hands.

7. Closing the Visit

• Tell him:

  "I carry you with me now — always."

• Imagine a soft sunrise beginning on the horizon.

• Walk back to your present self, carrying his love within you.

8. Return Fully

• Take a few deep breaths.

• Open your eyes whenever you are ready.

🌿

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Final Reflections

To the boy who wept at dawn:
You were never alone.
You were never unloved.
You were simply feeling life in its rawest, most sacred form — and that was your secret strength all along.

May all who read this, and all hidden hearts who weep in the early hours, know:
Your tears are holy. Your survival is a blessing. Your awakening is near.

SUBHANALLAH WABIHAMDIHI

SUBHANALLAH HILAZIM!

"Glory be to Allah and all praise is due to Him."