Today is auspicious in more than one way for me as it is my eldest son's 'The Naz's' 50th. birthday a day being observed all over the Western Hemisphere of the total eclipse of the sun and if correctly observed it is also the Buddha's birthday. What more can i ask for to remember this day in my life as the fasting month has come to its end in two days. I must say that the Month of Ramadan this year has been one of the most memorable year and I am grateful to my Lord for having made it an auspicious event that i personally feel spiritually. My journey is perhaps coming to an end as I feel it in my bones in this physical realm of existence and what a blessed journey it has been filled with the 'Good the bad and the Ugliness of what life has to offer. I feel blessed deep in my heart for having survived all the travails along the path and having transcended all the challenges laid across my path to have this simple realization of being led to freedom from the bounds of the dual thinking mind even if it is just for this moment in space and time for who knows what lies ahead as only the Lord knows what lay in store for the remaining of my days. I only hope and pray that i would not deviate too from the straight and narrow path that has been laid for me.
As a father I am more than proud of my son's accomplishment in his life and career and as a father i am also feel sadden by the fact that we have drifted far apart form each other and this I accept as my karmic consequence for having not being a good father to him in his early childhood life; my bad and I live to regret it for the rest of my life. Nonetheless as a father i still hereby let it be known that my love for my son will never be any less than the first day I beheld his infant face as i held him in my arms and whispered the Shahadah in his ears at the Asunta Hospital in, Petaling Jaya, Kuala Lumpur. It has been fifty years now but the memory is still as fresh as if it was yesterday of how i had to make the trip from Penang to KL to bee with his Mother and him arriving at the hospital late in th evening when no visitors were allowed to the infant ward and i was able to see him from outside the ward until a sympathetic nurse seeing this allowed me in just be with him for a moment. But such is, all water under the bridge and who could have predict what can happen in fifty years. He is fifty now and to me still a mixed up kid and that's ok with me as long as he is happy and not getting into too much trouble; you cannot chop the water in half even if you try. Happy birthday my son and may Allah keep and protect you always. It is all i can leave behind for you, I am sorry if it is not enough; it is my way of saying ,I Love You, Happy Birthday!
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