For eight years of my life i spent living in the cold country and came close to ending my own life twice but failed. For eight years i found friendship and love that knew no bounds. For 8 years i traded my soul for a life of hedonism and lust, I allowed my ego to rum free. I was faced with a matter of survival or freeze my ass in the cold Wisconsin night. I remember standing one evening waiting for the bus on main street with only my army jacket and long johns on underneath my sweater and it was so cold that i could feel every bone in my body and at one moment felt detached from my body and witnessed myself standing out in the cold under the street light, waiting for a bus. riding the bus was a respite from the cold and the and all along the ride I would ask of myself how and why I had ended up in such a dire state of consciousness. if I am asked what was the most beautiful about Green Bay, I would gladly say - The women! My love and respect for all of them those I have touched and they touched my life, I say I am sorry. and I am grateful and cherish every moment we shared. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you and forgive me if I hurt or made you feel bad when we parted our ways, I am sorry. The Ladies of Green Bay, I salute you better than I salute the Packers. I have had the best of times and the worse and I accept both most willingly as a part and parcel of who I was and who i have become.
I found a part of me that was hidden within that surfaces in my hours of need as a guiding and protecting light or essence and I have felt this more after I was initiated into the Spiritual nature of the Silat Gayung, a Malay form of Martial Arts propagated by the Maha Guru Meor Abdul Rahman who was resident in Singapore. I was a student of the then Ketua Pejabat Ugama, or Head of the Religious Department for the State of Terengganu, Encik Abu Johan or better known to us the students as Pak Abu. In a ritual held at his house I was initiated with a Khadam or spiritual friend with a name which I cannot reveal but the name is very commonly used in the Palestinian =Israel issue and the name hails from Lebanon. There, I have practically revealed another aspect of who I was and where I have been and what I have done or experienced. Connecting the dots to my past, keeping a track record of my trip on this path to find out. At this ceremony which was held at night was witnessed by more than ten adults most having to do with the Art of Subud. "Subud is an International Interfaith Movement that began in Indonesia in the 1920s founded by Mohammad Subuh Sumohadiwidhjojo {1901 - 1987}" - Wikipedia.
I was sitted in the middle of the circle and facing my instructor, the man who volunteered to give me this gift; a sprit friend from the other side. After reciting a few verses from the Quran I was instructed to empty my minds I hear the sound of hands clapping on the ceramic floor getting louder and louder as they converged and got close to me. Then with the flick of a finger at my earlobe it all fell into absolute silence. Like the main circuit breaker was ripped off the wall, total darkness and silence The sound of the TV in the next living room was gone and the sound of the clapping hands was gone and I sat there in the darkness experiencing void, emptiness I push my hand downwards, no floor.
Then I felt a presence just above my neck area and it got more and more intense until my whole body just shook, my head swung left and right so rapidly and I had no control over it and my whole body twisted and turned until came to a quiet comfortable position and I heard my Instructor introducing my spiritual friend to me. I once wrote a paper on this experience for an Interpersonal Communications Class at UWGB, it was rebuffed and frowned upon as a made up story. Danial Rosenberg was not one of my favorite professors needless to say, however I must give credit for having the Flare about him! There were good professors and there were those you can live without. The good ones you learn life's lessons and what it takes to become your dream, to transcend life's schooling and enter the major league, become awakened, become a Buddha! Step out of existence and enter Nirvana. Become liberated and free from the clinging's of Maya. Perhaps it was an illusion no doubt like all experiences ever manifest by the mind, it is all an grand illusion the will soon end on a grand scale of mass extinction and global pandemic; it is all an illusion...is it?
I have written on may postings of how i finally left Green Bay, Wisconsin at the sin of being redundant i will to give the gist of the story just so i can bring to a close this three part series of life in the Mid Western State of Wisconsin.
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