The last Day of Ramadan- Blues.

This I feel, will be the longest day of the month of Ramadan, the last day. the day of reckoning, to see if you make it or break it.; I broke it by smoking a joint, I do this now and then to help me let go of my mental inhibitions or jar the mind from being bogged down in a rut and singing over and over rudy toot toot to the moon, like a broken record; I have been a marijuana or cannabis user for more than 40 years of my adult life and four years of my childhood days. I grew up hanging around ganja smokers ever since i can remember. I used to have eyes like Capt. Jack Sparrow as a kid and they called me, "mata nishan" or stoned eyes. 

The Baharul Alam Soccer Club which is still standing today in its third generation series, was the children's hangout, like a magnet it attracts us to watch bellows of smoke pouring out of the smokers and they would blow it out at us, trying to drive us away, we stayed and became second hand smokers.  I do not need to justify myself to anyone not even to myself, I have enjoyed smoking pot, weed, spiff, joint-call it what you may, to me it its my medicine, my vitamin, my high blood control among other things I learned about it over the Internet and even way before; smoking ganja, or dam (dumb)  is like drinking tea, only a little stronger. 

Ya, I feel like I am half as good suddenly, the moment my mind opens another can of worms from the back of the closet. My favorite anecdote to this matter is the story I enjoy sharing about my encounter with my seventeen year old son, who flew halfway around the world from Berlin Germany to Malaysia, to a stop over in San Francisco on their way to Green Bay, Wisconsin and after that back to Berlin. ON one quiet moment my former wife, Nazri's mother told me seriously, "The school makes it mandatory that the father 'Dokusan' on drugs, use and abuse. Okayy! Yep, yep yep!, My son was a Battalion Commander of the Berlin American High School, ROTC. What can I possibly say to the kid? So we decide to drive to Green Gulch and hang out on the farm. When we got there my friend Peter Rudnick the Farm Head was there I introduce Peter to my son and we took a drive into the back of the fields in an old pickup truck with my son stuck in the middle between us. Peter parked the truck and pulled out a joint and lit after a puff or two passed it on to me and I took a drag or two and passed it to my son. I never saw a more speedy exit a kid could make trying to refuse to smoke, yelling no thanks dad... He was almost out of the truck and grabbed the neck of his thick Berlin American High School Jacket and yanked him back in. I looked into him and said,"If you can say no to your father, I don't see how you cannot say no to anyone else, now you can go run around with the dog. This is my talk with you about drugs." Today he is a Flight Captain for Emirates Air.

On this last day of the Ramadan, I wish you all SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI! Yeah! I almost made it! I wish you all, my children, my siblings, my relatives and my friends, I wish you all Peace and Blessings and of the Lord's Grace, may it always be your guiding spirit within. And when you have found it, know that this too will pass, and this too will pass.